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    December 1969
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I ve decided that the key to happiness is low expectations. Airplanes may kill you, but they ain't likely to hurt you. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed. Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out. Common sense ain't common. Cheer up, the worst is yet to come. If you're not confused, you're not paying attention. I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. (Thomas Alva Ed ison) Lying is done with words and also with silence. Peace with a club in hand is war. The more you sweat in peace,the less you bleed in war. Everyone's a pacifist between wars. It's like being a vegetarian between meals Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. I have found the Iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go. But two hundred pounds is always two hundred pou nds. Today I do what others won't, so that tomorrow I can do what others can't You don t drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there. Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it perman ent. Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specif ic. I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally. I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way. A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she s aid 'no' I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys. A guy can just as easily dump you if you fuck him on the first date as he can if you wait until the tenth. If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor. I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end. It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail. I can believe anything, provided that it is quite incredible. Anybody can win unless there happens to be a second entry. Never confuse movement with action. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. Stop and you'll be stepped on; stand tall and you'll be shot at. The things we know best are the things we haven't been taught. Fools rush in where fools have been before. I've been trying for some time to develop a lifestyle that doesn't require my pr esence. Only the mediocre are always at their best. Free advice is worth the price. Everybody lies about sex. Avoid making irrevocable decisions while tired or hungry. I always take life with a grain of salt, ila. plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequ Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong. My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of ou r friends. You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do. Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. Where facts are few, experts are many. Anything too stupid to be said is sung.