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Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. - MILES KINGTON Why do people say “no offense” right before they’re about to offend you? - ANONYMOUS By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. - SOCRATES The best way to lie is to tell the truth . . . carefully edited truth. - ANONYMOUS Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. - GREG KING If you steal from one author, it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many, it’s research. - WILSON MIZNER If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. - FLIP WILSON How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? - ANONYMOUS God gave us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends. - ETHEL MUMFORD Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go. - OSCAR WILDE -