El Inglés Prohibido - Glenn Darragh

Transcript

www.FreeLibros.org EL INGLES PROHIBIDO GLENN DARRAGH E D I T O R I A L S T A N L E Y www.FreeLibros.org EL INGLES PROHIBIDO W RIT T EN BY GLENN DA RRA GH PU BLISHED BY EDIT ORIA L ST A NLEY LA Y OU T A NGELA G6MEZ MA RT IN C OV ER DESIGN DISENO IRU NES © EDITORIAL S TAN LEY A PDO. 207 - 20302 IRU N - SPA IN T ELF. (943) 64 04 12 - FA X. (943) 64 38 63 ISBN: 84-7873-349-3 DEP. LEG. BI-354-01 FIRST EDIT ION 2001 PRINT ERS IMPRENT A BEREK INT ZA www.FreeLibros.org A C K N O W L E D G E M E N T S E xamples of usage were drawn from newspapers and magazines as indicated in the text of the book, as well as from the following printed sources: A lbee, E dward: Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?; A mis, K ingsley:T he Green Man, The Old Devils', A mis, M artin: Money, London Fields; Barnes, Julian: Talking it Over; Beckett, S amuel: Molloy; Bender, A imee: The Girl in the Flammable Skirt; Bennet, W illiam: The Falkland Line; Beretta, A lan: What's Your Game?; Bergreen, L aurence: Louis Armstrong, An Extravagant Life; Bruce, L enny: The Essential Lenny Bruce; Bukowski, C harles: Post Office, Factotum, Women, Love is a Dog from Hell; C arlin, T ony: One More Hand; C arrol, James: An American Requiem; C entury, D ouglas: Street Kingdom; C handler, Raymond: Farewell, My Lovely; C hanteau, D iane: The Longest Sausage In The World; C hapman, Robert L .: American Slang; C leese, John: Fawlty Towers; C oe, Jonathan: The House of Sleep; C oen, E than: Gates of Eden; C ole, L ew: 12465 Kimberland Ave.; C ook, Peter: Beyond the Fringe; C ornfield, Robert: The Tree Still Grows in Brooklyn; C orsitto, C hristopher: Next Door To Erica; D oughty, W .C .: Charabia Deserta; E din, K athryn: Making Ends Meet; E llroy, James: L.A.Confidential; Fielding, Helen: Bridget Jones's Diary; G arrigan, Bert: Where Sympathy is Found; G ordon, N eil: The Gun Runner's Daughter; G reene, G raham: The End of the Affair; Hall, W illis: The Long and the Short and the Tall; Herlihy, James L eo: Midnight Cowboy; Herron, S haun: The Whore-Mother; Irving, John: The World According to Garp; Jong, E rica: Any Woman's Blues; Jonson, G regory: Mountain Male; K eaton, N orman: Falling Off A Ladder; L affan, James: U p and Down the Lisburn Road; L arkin, Philip: Collected Poems, Selected Letters; L awrence, D .H.: Lady Chatterley's Lover; L ogan, Roy: Working it Out With a Pencil; L ukowiak, K en: A Soldier's Song; M airs, D avid: Top Drawers; M amet, D avid: American Buffalo, Sexual Perversity in Chicago, Duck Variations, Glengarry Glen Ross; M arcus, T om: River Deep; M cC abe, Frank: McCabe at the Movies; M cC ourt, M alachy: A Monk Swimming; M cG rath, John: Events While Guarding the Bofors Gun; M cPhee, N ancy: The Book of Insults; M iller, Henry: Tropic of Cancer; N ewman, G .F.: Law & Order; N ichols, Peter: Privates on Parade; O bst, D avid: Too Good To Be Forgotten; O gilby, John: Twat and Twaddle; O ldfield, G abriella T .: Tom and Verna; O rton, Joe (ed. L ahr, John): The Orton Diaries; O sworth, Barry: U pside Down; Palahniuk, C huck: Fight Club; Paretsky, S arah: Ghost Country; Price, Richard: Three Screenplays, dockers; Rabe, D a- vid: Streamers; Rosen, C harley: Barney Polan's Game; Roth, Philip: Portnoy's Complaint; S chrader, Paul: Taxi Driver; S ounes, Howard: Locked in the Arms of a Crazy Life; S tone, Robert: Dog Soldiers; S tyron, W illiam: Sophie's Choice; T akari, Ronald: A Larger Memory; T arantino, Quentin: Reservoir Dogs; T homas, Philip: Rathmines Rag; Vonnegut Jr., K urt: Mother Night, Slaughterhouse 5, Breakfast of Champions; W ain, John: Life at the Top; W ambaugh, Joseph: The Choirboys, The Glitter Dome, Echoes in the Darkness; W augh, E velyn: Officers and Gentlemen; W hitehead, E . A .: Old Flames, Mecca, The Foursome, Alpha Beta, The Sea Anchor; W ilson, A ugust: Ma Rainey's Black Bottom; W ilson, Robert M cL iam: Eureka Street. Hank Hyena, G arrison K eillor, S usie Bright and C ourtney W eaver are columnists for Salon. www.FreeLibros.org Illustrative sentences were also taken from the following films: American Beauty: Alan Ball; Animal House: Douglas Kenney, Chris Miller, Harold Ramis; As Good As It Gets: James L. Brooks; Austin Powers: Mike Meyers; Barton Fink: Joel and Ethan Coen; Beautiful Girls: Scott Rosenberg; Blazing Saddles: Mel Brooks and Andrew Bergman; Bound: Larry and Andy Wachowski Bull Durham: Ron Shelton; Casino: Nicholas Pileggi and Martin Scorsese; Chasing Amy: Kevin Smith; Clerks: Kevin Smith; Cruel Intentions: Roger Kumble; Deconstructing Harry: Woody Allen; Desperados: Robert Rodriguez; Donnie Brasco: Screenplay by Paul Attanasio from the book by Joseph D. Pistone and Richard Woodley; Fargo: Joel and Ethan Coen; Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas: Screenplay by Terry Gilliam, Tony Grisoni, Tod Davies and Alex Cox from the book by Hunter S. Thompson; Fisher King, The: Richard LaGravenese; Fried Green Tomatoes: Fannie Flagg and Carol Sobieski; Full Metal Jacket: Gustave Hasford, Michael Herr and Stanley Kubrick from the novel 'The Short Timers' by Gustav Hasford; Gattaca: Andrew M. Niccol; Get Shorty: Screenplay by Scott Frank, based on the novel by Elmore Leonard; Glengarry Glen Ross: David Mamet; Go: John August; Godfather, The: Mario Puzo and Francis Ford Coppola from the novel by Mario Puzo; Good Will Hunting: Matt Damon and Ben Affleck; Goodfellas: Nicholas Pileggi and Martin Scorsese; Grand Canyon: Lawrence Kasdan and Meg Kasdan; Green Mile, The: Screenplay by Frank Darabont from the novel by Stephen King; Happiness: Todd Solondz; Jackie Brown: Screenplay by Quentin Tarantino, based on the novel by Elmore Leonard; L.A. Confidential: Screenplay by Brian Helgeland from the novel by James Ellroy; Leaving Las Vegas: Screenplay by Mike Figgis from the novel by John O'Brien; Lost Highway: David Lynch; My Cousin Vinny: Dale Launer; Night on Earth: Jim Jarmusch; One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest: Bo Goldman and Lawrence Hauben from the novel by Ken Kesey; Patton: Francis Ford Coppola and Edmund H. North; Primal Fear: Ann Biderman and Steve Shagan from the novel by William Diehl; Pulp Fiction: Quentin Tarantino and Roger Roberts Avery; Pump Up The Volume: Allan Moyle; Ref, The: Richard LaGravenese and Marie Weiss; Reservoir Dogs: Quentin Tarantino; Scent of A Woman: Bo Goldman, from a screenplay by Ruggero Maccari and Dino Risi, from the novel by Giovanni Arpino; Shawshank Redemption, The: Screenplay by Frank Darabont from the novella by Stephen King; Smoke: Auster, Paul; Stripes: Len Blum and Daniel Goldberg; Swimming with Sharks: George Huang; Swingers: Jon Favreau; Taxi Driver: Paul Schrader; The Big Lebrowski: Joel and Ethan Coen; The Commitments: Dick Clement, Roddy Doyle, Ian La Frenais from the novel by Roddy Doyle; Trainspotting: Screenplay by John Hodge based on the novel by Irvine Welsh; Unforgiven: David Webb Peoples; Very Bad Things: Peter Berg; Wag The Dog: David Mamet; Wild At Heart: David Lynch, based on the book by Barry Gifford. www.FreeLibros.org C O N T E N T S 1: PART S O F T HE B O D Y 1. A ARS E / AS S -CULO 1 1. B ARS E HO LE , AS S HO LE -ANO 2 1. C C O C K -POLLA, VERGA 3 1. D B ALLS -HUEVOS, PELOTAS, COJONES 5 1. E C UN T -CONO, CHOCHO 5 1. F C LIT -CLITORIS 7 1. G PUB E S -VELLO PUBICO 7 1. H PRIVAT E PART S -PARTES PUDENDAS 8 1. I T IT S -TETAS 8 E XE RC IS E 10 2: B O D Y FUN C T IO N S 1. A PISS -MEAR, MEADA 12 2. B S HIT , S HIT E -CAGAR, MIERDA 13 2. C FART -PEDO 14 2. D T HE S HIT S -LA CAGALERA 15 2. E S HIT -HO US E , S HIT E -HO US E -RETRETE, CAGADERO 15 2. F B UMF -PAPEL HIGIENICO 16 2. G P UKE -VOMITAR, VOMITONA 17 2. H GO B -ESCUPIR, ESCUPITAJO 18 2. I S N O T -MOCOS 18 2. J C O ME , C UM -LECHE, SEMEN 19 2. K T HE RAG -LA REGLA, EL PERIODO, COMPRESA 20 E XE R C IS E 21 3: S E XUAL D E S IRE 3. A T HE HO T S -DESEO 24 3. B HO R N Y -CALIENTE, CACHONDO 24 3. C C HAT UP -LIGAR, ENRROLLARSE CON 25 3. D FO O L A R O UN D -TENER ENREDOS 26 3. E S T UD -SEMENTAL 28 3. F HA R D -O N -ERECCI6N 28 3. G B AB E -BOMBON, NINFA 29 3. H A PIE C E O F AS S -UN POLVO 30 3. I C O C KT E AS E R -CALIENTAPOLLAS 32 3. J WE T D R E AM -SUENO HUMEDO 32 E XE RC IS E 34 4: S E XUAL AC T IVIT Y 4. A GRO PE -MAGREAR 36 4. B FUC K -JODER, FOLLAR . . . 37 4. C N O O KY , N O O KIE -POLVOS 39 4. D GA N GB A N G -VIOLACION COLECTIVA, SEXO TRIBAL 40 4. E GO D O WN O N S O ME O N E -CHUPAR, MAMAR 41 4. F R UB B E R -CONDON, GOMA, GLOBO 43 4. G JE R K O FF -HACERSE UNA PAJA, PELARSELA . 43 4. H C HE RRY -VIRGINIDAD 45 4. I B UGGE R -SODOMIZAR, SODOMITA 45 E XE RC IS E 47 5: S E XUAL T AS T E S 5. A HO MO -MARICA, MARICON 50 5. B D Y KE , D IKE -MARIMACHO 52 5. C C O T T AGE -LAVABO PUBLICO PARA CITAS HOMOSEXUALES 53 5. D AMB IS E XT RO US -BISEXUAL 53 5. E D RAG QUE E N -TRAVESTI 54 5. F KIN KY -PERVERTIDO 55 5. G PRO -PUTA 56 5. H T R IC K -PUTERO, PUTANERO 57 5. I WHO RE HO US E -BURDEL, CASA DE PUTAS . . 57 5. J PIMP -CHULO 58 6: UN P LE A S A N T PE O PLE , T HIN GS , PLAC E S , E T C . 6. A B AS T ARD -CABR6N, HIJO PUTA 61 6. B A R S E LIC KE R -LAMECULOS 64 6. C B IT C H -ZORRA, LAGARTA 65 6. D B UMME R -CONAZO, LATAZO 66 6. E C LAP -GONORREA 67 6. F C RUD -PORQUERIA 68 6. G C RUD D Y -ASQUEROSO 69 6. H ARS E HO LE O F T HE E ART H, E T C -EL CULO DEL MUNDO 70 6. I IT S UC KS -ES UNA MIERDA 71 E XE RC IS E 6.1 72 www.FreeLibros.org 7: I N C O M P E T E N C E , I N F E R I O R Q U A L I T Y 10: I D I O M A T I C U S A G E S 7. A F U C K U P -CAGAR, CAGADA, CAPULLO . . . . 74 7. B F U C K A BO U T (A R O U N D ) -PERDER EL T1EMPO, JODER 74 7. C S N A F U -METEDURA DE PATA, CAGADA . . . . 76 7. D HA L F -A R S E D , HA L F -A S S E D -MUY POCO BRILLANTE 77 7. E S HI T T Y -DE MIERDA 77 7. F BU L L S HI T -SANDECES, GILIPOLLECES . . . . 78 E XE R C I S E 81 8: E M P HA S I S 10. A E XP R E S S I O N S W I T H "F U C K" 105 10. B E XP R E S S I O N S W I T H "S HI T " 107 10. c E XP R E S S I O N S W I T H "A S S ", "A R S E " . . . . 109 10. D E XP R E S S I O N S W I T H "BA L L S " "BA L L O C KS " 110 10. E E XP R E S S I O N S W I T H "HE L L " 1ll 10. F E XP R E S S I O N S W I T H "BI T C H" 1ll 10. G E XP R E S S I O N S W I T H " BU G G E R " 112 10. H E XP R E S S I O N S W I T H "P IS S " 112 10. I E XP R E S S I O N S W I T H "T IT S " 113 10. J E XP R E S S I O N S W I T H " F I N G E R " 113 10. K E XP R E S S I O N S W I T H "F A R T " 113 10. L E XP R E S S I O N S W I T H "P U S S Y " 114 10. M E XP R E S S I O N S W I T H "U P " 114 8. A F U C K - A LA MIERDA! 83 10. N E XP R E S S I O N S W I T H "G ET" 114 8. B F U C KI N G -DE MIERDA, PVNETERO 84 E XE R C I S E 115 8. C F U C KI N G W E L L - CONO!CARAJO! 85 8. D A HE L L O F A -SENSACIONAL, DE PADRE KEY To ExERCISES 117 Y SENOR MIO 86 INDEXOFTERMS 125 8. E A S HE L L -SUMAMENTE 86 8. F F O R F U C K' S S A KE - PUTA MADRE! CARAJO! 87 8. G T HE F U C K -CONO, CARAJO 88 8. H T HE S HI T O U T O F ... -SEVERAMENTE 88 E XE R C I S E 90 9: R A C I A L I N S U L T S 9. A W HI T E Y - EL H OMBREB L AN CO! 92 9. B BR I T -BRITANICO 92 9. C M I C K -IRLANDES 93 9. D Y A N K, Y A N KE E -YANQ UI, GIRI 94 9. E F R O G -F RANCH UTE, GABACH O 94 9. F KR A U T -ALEMAN 95 9. G KI KE -JUDIO 96 9. H P O L A C K -POLACO 97 9. I R U S S KI E -RUSO 97 9. J R A G HE A D -ARABE 97 9. K W O P -ITAL1ANO 98 9. L D A G O -ESPANOL, SUDACA 99 9. M G O O K -ASlATICO, CH INO, AMARILO 99 9. N N I G G E R -NEGRO 100 9. O A U S S I E -AUSTRALIANO 102 E XE R C I S E 103 www.FreeLibros.org I N T R O D U C T I O N T he aim of this book is to teach what is still commonly known as 'bad language' . D epending on the degree to which it is tolerated, it is also described as strong, foul, picturesque, earthy, rough, salty, colourful, naughty, profane, adult, taboo, vulgar, dirty, filthy, low, obscene, and much else besides. Whatever the adjective, the language in question consists of a relatively small group of words and expressions that are never taught in school, not even in language schools to adult students of English. I n that sense, it constitutes a kind of forbidden language or counter-language within the main body of English. Why this l anguage is not taught in the usual way is simple to explain: it embarrasses, upsets, insults or otherwise offends a great many people. O f course, every native speaker of English who is more than five years old knows the main swearwords of the language. But most people, most of the time, still prefer not to use them. For this reason alone, second-language learners of English are probably well advised not to use them either, or at least not until they have become sensitive to the effects they are likely to produce. I f that is so, why study a book like this at all? I n a word: to understand. I n the past thirty years, language and cultural values have changed considerably. I t is little short of astonishing, given the liberality of language in present-day films, that the first recorded use of the word ' fuck' in a major commercial movie occurred only in 1970, in R obert Altman' s M*A*S*H. Since then, especially in the last decade, Hollywood has discovered that bad language is good box office. O n television, too, in Britain and also in the U nited States outside the expletive-free national networks, swearing is now commonplace and uncontroversial. T he same is true of the printed word. N ot only in books but in national newspapers and magazines, words now frequently appear which only a generation or two ago would have earned their authors a mouthful of soap. Everywhere, the electronic bleeps and the blanks and asterisks which formerly protected the innocent have been put on the shelf. Some speculate that within ten or fifteen years, the dreaded f-word itself will be wholly acceptable, even for children. www.FreeLibros.org It would not be the first time some illicit term were to gain respectability. The expression 'it sucks' , used to refer to things of inferior quality, originally had direct connotations of oral sex. The noun ' snafu' , meaning a bungled or confused situation, began as military slang, an acronym for 'situation normal, all fucked up' . The word ' gay' , now the usual term for a homosexual, was originally American tramps' slang for the homo- sexual companion of an older vagrant. Many such words have migrated, at least partly, towards standard English in recent years. As films, television, books, magazines and the Internet propagate the once-censored vocabulary, the trend is likely to conti nue. In the meantime, however, students of English as a foreign language now more than ever need some kind of guide to this blossoming branch of the language. The present book, designed for students who have already attained a good level of general English, may be used as both a reference guide and an instruction manual. Each chapter deals with a particular aspect of taboo language. Chapter 1, for example, lists basic slang words, all considered vulgar, for intimate parts of the body: arse, arsehole, cock, balls, cunt, clit, tits, etc. A separate section within each chapter is devoted to each of these basic terms, with numerous examples of usage drawn from a wide range of contemporary sources, principally films and novels, but also plays, diaries, letters, newspapers, magazines, and so on. Each section also lists synonyms for these basic words or other terms related to them, again wi th numerous examples. Thus, in Chapter 1, section l.c deals with 'cock', giving seventeen common synonyms. When words or expressions are used mainly or exclusively in a particular part of the English-speaking world, then this is indicated in brackets, as follows: dong (US) • I was wholly incapable of keeping my paws from my dong once it started to climb up my belly. (Philip Roth) When there is no such annotation, the word is used or understood by English-speakers everywhere. Where examples are drawn from printed sources, the name of the author or journal is shown in brackets after the quotation. If, as is frequently the case, the source is a film, then the title of the film is shown italicised and in brackets after the quotation, thus: dick • I would suck your dad's big fat dick, and then I would fuck him till his eyes rolled back in his head! (American Beauty) An answer key to the exercises is provided at the end of the book, along with an index to all the words and expressions listed and exemplified in the text. www.FreeLibros.org Finally, it is worth repeating the warning given above. Most of the words and phrases presented in this book are offensive to someone. A small number of inoffensive and euphemistic terms have crept into the text when their presence seemed justified by considerations of completeness, and such terms are signalled when they occur. But the vast majority are offensive (particularly the racist terms dealt with in Chapter 9). If, as the examples prove, you can scarcely hope to understand much of modern culture without a basic knowledge of 'bad language' , you still ought not to use it in front of children, mothers, maiden aunts, clergymen, policemen, judges, or other sensitive souls. Not even when they are using it in front of you. www.FreeLibros.org This page intentionally left blank www.FreeLibros.org 1. PARTS OF THE B OD Y 1. a arse / ass -culo An Old English word, arse is mainly British while ass is mainly American. Similarly with derivative words: arsehole, arselicker, etc. are British, while asshole, ass-kisser, etc. are American. Exceptions do occur, however. For example, at the start of the Gulf War in 1991, no less an American than George Bush, then President, declared: 'Saddam is going to get his arse kicked'. • What she reminds me of is those girls you see prancing up and down the King's Road in faded jeans with tight little arses and bobbing tits. (E.A. Whitehead) • The slut got up and started to play pinball, wiggling her ass to help the balls move around. (Charles B ukowski) » He suffered —did he suffer!— from constipa- tion... my father reading the evening paper with a suppository up his ass. (Philip Roth) • The truth is that I've had a long-standing problem with heroin addiction. I've been known to sniff it, smoke it, swallow it, stick it up my arse and inject it into my veins. (Trainspotting') • Her ass was still shapely as were her legs and she had a seductive wiggle when she walked. (Charles B ukowski) • Me recuerda a una de esas chicas que se ven por King's Road en vaqueros desgastados me- neando sus culitos prietos y tetas balan- ceantes. • La putilla se levanto y se puso a jugar al pinball, meneando el culo para acompanar elmovimiento de las bolas. • Sufria — Vaya si sufria! — de estreftimien- to... mi padre leyendo el periodico vespertino con un supositorio en el culo. • La verdad es que he tenido un problema des- de hace mucho con la heroina. He tenido ocasion de esnifarla, tragarla, metermela por el culo e inyectaimela por las venas. • Su culo todavia mantenia una buena Imea, igual que sus piernas, y cuando andaba tenia un contoneo de lo mas seductor. S Y N ON Y MS : backside • They sat around on their backsides day after day, drinking tea and doing nothing, except complaining, of course. (N orman Keaton) • I've got frost-bite. The ten fingers of my hands, the ten toes of my feet, and the two cheeks of my back- side. If I stay out there one minute longer, I'll have a frost- bitten cock. (John McGrath) beam Especially used to refer to the width of the hips and but- tocks. • S he's a nice-looking woman. A bit broad across the beam, it's true, but a nice looker just the same. (James Laffan) behind Euphemistic. • What do you mean 'sexual harassment'? It was just a friendly little pat on the behind. (D avid Mairs) • These rich cunts. . . whenever they want to lower their soft behinds, there's always a chair s tandi ng ready for them. (Henry Miller) bottom Euphemistic. • — Y ou know, you've got a lovely bottom. — Oh, you've noticed? — Only it takes up half the mattress. (E.A. Whitehead) bum (UK) • .—'Where shall I sit'? — 'Sit on your bum, mate. That's what I would do'. (Tom Marcus) • Have no fear, I am not dead: I've bumped my bum and I've hurt my head. How's that? (John McGrath) • Give me time. Give me time. Y ou bastards won't give me time to scratch me bum. (John McGrath) buns (US ) From the hemi- spherical shape of the buttocks. • OK, guys, hustle your buns — we've got a lot of work to do. (Christopher Corsitto) • I was given a cat-o'-ni ne-tai l s and asked if I wanted to participate. A man's buttocks were bared be- fore me —a young man, young and handsome, with firm buns — and I began to flog him. (Erica Jong) butt (US) From buttocks. • She slipped on the ice and fell hard on her butt. (D aniel Ogg) • Can any of us honestly say we have not wondered what our ancestors wiped their butts with in the ab- sence of toilet paper? (Salon) • Can your marriage survive ED ITORIAL STAN LEY El Ingles P rohibido 1 www.FreeLibros.org when you can't stand the sight of his ever-widening butt laying on the couch? (Salon) • Women are cursed with big butt phobia. (Salon) can (US) • It was a bad case of haemorrhoids. He could hardly sit down, his can was hurting him so much. (James Laffan) • Monica Lewinsky seduced the most powerful man in the world with a flash of her thong-clad can. Why is this unmentionable garment so sexy? (Salon) cheeks Used especially to refer to the two halves of the buttocks. • She started cleaning at the sink. As she bent over ... I saw two cheeks. Two cheeks. Mama mia! An ass from out of this world. With tiny white panties, riding up a little so you could see one whole cheek. The other was partly covered. (Night on Earth) fanny (US) Relatively inoffen- sive in the US, but taboo in the UK, where it has a different meaning. See l.e below. • I hate using an outside john. In sum- mer the flies are swarming all over you, in winter you freeze your fanny off. (Gregory Jonson) • Was it nature or nurture that sent me, from an early age, into f its at the sight of the word 'toilet', or had me roll- ing on the floor at the thought that a girl coul d be named 'Fanny'? Half of my relatives do not think bathroom humor is funny. (Salon) keister (US) • So much confi- dential information was being leaked to the press that President Ronald Reagan finally lost pa- tience. 'I've had it up to my keister with these leaks,' he de- clared. (Newsweek) khyber, Khyber Pass (UK) Rhyming slang of pass and ass or arse. • He needs a good kick up the khyber is what he needs. (Alan Beretta) rear Euphemistic. • And if the kiddies misbehave, don' t be afraid to give them a slap on the rear. (Daily Mirror) tail (US) Often used in figura- tive phrases like work one's tail of f , run one's tail of f . • Don't you understand? If you don't do it, they're going to toss you out on your tail. (Lew Cole) • This is the first time you've had your tail out of that kitchen since we got here. (William Faulkner) • I walked out, the old car started and soon I was back in bed with Betty. I pushed up against her warm tail and was asleep in 45 seconds. (Charles Bukowski) 1. b arsehole, asshole -ano • What's wrong with assholes, baby? You've got an asshole, I've got an asshole... The world is full of billions of assholes, the President has an asshole, the carwash boy has an asshole, the judge and the murderer have assholes. (Charles Bukowski) • There were thousands upon thousands of people who bought bad chemicals and ate them or sniffed them or injected them into their veins... Sometimes they even stuffed bad chemicals up their assholes. (Kurt Vonnegut Jr.) * Around the toilet seat was a band of paper... This loop of paper guaranteed Dwayne that he need have no fear that corkscrew-shaped little animals would crawl up his asshole and eat up his wiring. (Kurt Vonnegut Jr.) * I wouldn't go near that pool if you paid me — it is a breeding ground for polio and spinal meningitis, not to mention diseases of the skin, the scalp, and the asshole. (Philip Roth) • Que tienen de malo los anos, nena? Tu tie- nes un ano, yo tengo un ano!... El mundo esta repleto de millones de anos. El presidente tie- ne un ano, el lavacoches tiene un ano, el juez y el asesino tienen anos. • Habia miles y miles de personas que com- praban sustancias quimicas nocivas y se las comian o las esnifaban o se las inyectaban en las venas... A veces, incluso se metian las sustancias quimicas nocivas por el agujero del culo. • Alrededor del retrete habia una banda de pa- pel... Aquella banda de papel le garantizaba a Dwayne que no tenia por que temer que ningiun bichito con forma de sacacorchos fuera a metersele por el culo y a comerle sus cables. • Yo no me acercaria a esa piscina ni aunque me pagaran; es un caldo de cultivo de la polio y la meningitis espinal, por no hablar de las enfermedades de la piel, el cuero cabelludo y el ano. 2 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org S Y N O N Y M S : Bend over and show me t hat r ound br own. I got t a see if round brown • Turn around and you' re hiding a machine gun in bend over and spread your cheeks, there. (Joseph Wambaugh) ••• 1. c cock -polla, verga * M y husband had this big cock and that's all he had. He had no personality. Just a big cock, and he thought that was all he needed. (Char- les Bukowski) * S he had my cock in her hand, playing with it, rubbing it. (Henry M iller) * S he came out with her drink, sat on my lap, kissed me, putting her tongue into my mouth. M y cock leaped up against her firm bottom. I grabbed a handful. S queezed. (Charles Bukowski) • M i marido tenia una polla enorme, pero era lo unico que tenia. N o tenia personalidad. Solo una enorme polla y pensaba que era lo unico que habia que tener. • Tenia mi polla en su mano, jugando con ella, frotandola. • Salio con su copa y se sento en mi regazo, me beso, metiendome la lengua en la boca. M i polla se puso como una roca al contacto de su firme trasero. S e lo agarre". Aprete". S Y N O N Y M S : All the following terms are taboo. In context, however, some may seem more comical than others. Some — e.g. peter, Johnson and willy — would be more likely to be used by, and with, children. chopper • M en who drive cars like that subconsciously believe they' ve found an extension of their chopper — sleek, power- ful, irresistible. (Gabriella T. O ldfield) • I know what it ' s like when you're young. The pressure to be a big strong man. I went through all that. M y father thought the ultimate in masculinity was to stick your chopper into anything that wore a skirt. (Peter N ichols) dick • Hey, listen, I want some- body good — and I mean very good — to plant that gun. I don't want my brother coming out of that toilet with just his dick in his hands. (The Godfather) • 'Like a Virgin' is all about a girl who digs a guy with a big dick. The whole song is a meta- phor for big dicks. (Reservoir Dogs) • I do not take short men seriously. If they're my height, maybe. But I look at a short man and I think Big Ego, S mall Dick. Is that so terrible? (Court ney Weaver) • I would suck your dad' s big fat dick, and then I would fuck him till his eyes rolled back in his head! (Ameri- can Beauty) dipstick From the dipstick of a car. • He accepted her invitation with high, alas soon-to-be-dis- appointed, hopes of soon getting his dipstick wet. (Alan Beretta) dong (US ) • I was wholly inca- pable of keeping my paws from my dong once it started to climb up my belly. (Philip Roth) • — What do you call it in the S outh? — S ometimes we call it a pecker. In parts of the upper S outh they call it a dong or a tool. O r a peter. — I've heard N athan call it his dork. Also, his putz. (William S tyron) dork (US ) Perhaps a variant of dirk, a dagger. • He had the gr eat b u l g i n g mus cles of a body-builder but this strangely c ont r a di c t or y modes t li t t le dork. (Gabriella T. O ldfield) .• What strength she has stored in that slender frame — the glor i ous acr obat i cs she can perform while dangli ng from the end of my dork! (Philip Roth) John Thomas Arbitrary use of a male name. • 'John Thomas! John Thomas!' she said and she quickly kissed the soft penis, that was beginning to stir again. (D.H. Lawrence) • If you get any trouble with them, funny busi- ness in the ablutions, admiring EDITO RIAL S TAN LEY El Ingles Prohibido 3 www.FreeLibros.org your John Thomas, any of that, have a word with me. (Peter Nichols) • Poor old John Thomas is as limp and as moribund as a flayed worm. (William Styron) Johnson Arbitrary use of the surname Johnson. • Tomorrow vee come back and cut off your chonson... Ja, your viggly penis, Lebowski. (The Big Lebowski) • Vagi na. The word i t sel f makes some men uncomfort- able. They don' t like hearing it and find it difficult to say. Whereas wi t hout bat t i ng an eye a man wi l l refer to his ' di ck' or his ' r od' or his 'Johnson'. (The Big Lebowski) joint (US) • One of t hose mot her f ucker s grabbed me when I was Bobby's age. At the movies... we're all wondering what this old guy is doing at the cartoons, and he sits down at the end of the row, and half- way through he reaches over and grabs my j oi nt . Reaches over another guy and grabs me by the joint. (David Mamet) • Hey, Joe. You been kissing Anastasia, you better go swal- low a drugstore and I ain't kid- ding. She's copped every joint in Al buquerque. (James Leo Herlihy) pecker (US) • When he was asleep, I couldn't restrain my- self any longer. I car ef ul l y peeled back the sheet to peek at his pecker. (Gabri el l a T. Oldfield) • All she done was... when she seen he had a t eensy l i t t l e pecker, she gave a gi ggl e. That's all. She didn' t know no better. (Unforgiven) • You stake a guy out on an anthill in the desert, see? He's facing upward, and you put honey all over his balls and pecker, and you cut off his eyelids so he has to stare at the sun till he dies. (Kurt Vonnegut Jr.) peter From the male forename and the association with pee, urine. • This guy goes to the doctor. He says, 'Doc, I've got this terrible pain in my peter'. (Tom Marcus) • Do you suck dicks? Are you a peter-puffer? (Full Metal Jacket) • No lip- stick on the glass? Baby, do you think you have any lipstick left on your mouth after three or four of those flossy fatcats from Brent wood wi t h t hose limp little peters make you suck your eyes cr ossed? (Joseph Wambaugh) prick • You need something to make that beautiful ass of yours gyrate with joy, a big stiff prick rammed into t hat cunt you' ve got locked up... (William Styron) • The ad in Rolling Stone is certainly eye- catching — the words ' Why Women Love a Small Prick' , appearing opposite a bedroom- eyed model in lingerie. But read the fine pri nt — it' s a pitch for a home HIV test, and the prick in quest i on is the kind made on a finger to get the blood sample. (Salon) putz (US) Yiddish, from Mid- dle High German putz, orna- ments. Properly, the foreskin of a penis after it has been re- moved, but generally applied to the penis as a whole. • This sex maniac! He simply cannot — will not — control the fires in his putz, the fevers in his brain... (Philip Roth) schlong, shlong (US) Yiddish. • Schlong: the word somehow catches exactly the brutishness, the meatishness, that I admire so, the sheer mindless, weighty, and unselfconscious dangle of that living piece of hose through which he passes streams of wa- ter as thick and strong as rope. (Philip Roth) • 'I see you' re checki ng out my shl ong, ' Wayne says. 'Yep.' 'And...?' 'Frankly, I'm underwhelmed.' (Erica Jong) tool • He allowed me to have the prick between the but t ocks, which, as I fucked, he agitated in a most alarming way. At this point I put my hand under him and took his medium-to-large tool in my hand. (Joe Orton) wang (US) He was lying on hi s back. Hi s ankl es were crossed. His hands were folded behi nd hi s head. Hi s great wang lay across his thigh like a salami. It slumbered now. (Kurt Vonnegut Jr.) whang, whanger (US) • His right eye was closed, the left eye nearly so. He was unaware of her f ondl i ng his f l acci d whanger. (Joseph Wambaugh) • — Absence makes the cock grow harder. — Stop it with your fortune cookie philosophy! I got a limber whang. I don't get straight I might as well become a priest! (Joseph Wambaugh) • 'Oh, honey!' cried the whore. 'You got balls like an elephant and a whang like an ox!' (Joseph Wambaugh) willy (UK) Some drunkard was caterwauling in the street. 'Will you still love me when I'm old and grey and the tip of my willy turns blue?' (James Laffan) 4 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org 1. d balls -huevos, pelotas, cojones • Then I felt something jamming its way into My -crotch. It moved way up there, I looked round and there was a German Shepherd, full- grownt, with his nose half-way up my ass. With one snap of his jaws he could rip off my balls. (Charles Bukowski) . 'For an ugly old son of a bitch, you've got a lot of balls,' She said. (Charles Bukowski) . Tammie had her head in Bobby's lap and she had her hand on his balls and then she moved it up and grabbed his cock and held his cock, and alt the time her eyes looked directly at me. (Charles Bokowski) . Entonces senti algo que me hurgaba en la entrepierna, iba subiendo hacia arriba. Me volvi y vi un pastor aleman, Wen crecido, con su hocico debajo de mi culo. Con un movimiento de mandibulas me podia arran- car las pelotas. * —Para ser un feo hijo de puta tienes mu- chos cojones —-dijo ella. * Tammie tenia su cabeza en el regazo de Bobby y tenia la mano puesta en sus huevos, luego la subi6 y agarro su polla, sosteniendo- la, y en todo momento sus ojos me miraban directamente. SY N O N Y MS: ballocks From O ld English bealluc, testicle. • He's not par- ticularly sophisticated. Seems to spend a lot of time publicly scratching his ballocks. (James Laffan) • It was in the 18th cen- tury that some of our rude words first became so. 'Ballocks', for in- stance, was, from the llth cen- tury, simply the usual term for 'testicles' (the reassuringly Lati- nate term that is now acceptable), but somehow, by 1800, became improper. (Guardian) cobblers (UK) Rhyming slang of cobbler's awls and balls. • Give him a swift kick in the cobblers, then run like hell. (Alan Beretta) goolies Apparently derived from Hindustani gol, a ball. • They'll do what we want because they don't have any choice. We have them by the goolies and they know it. (David Bellis) knackers (UK) • The absurdity of it all struck me like a fist in the knackers. (Philip Larkin) • I may regret him for a while tonight. His knackers were superb. (Graham Greene) marbles • Y ou touch my stuff, you get a boot in your marbles. (Peter N ichols) nuts • Lyndon Johnson was cyni- cal about schemes to win the hearts and minds of the Vietnam- ese. His philosophy was: Grab them by the nuts, their hearts and minds will follow. (N ewsweek) • N igel St Claire didn' t know bowling balls from elephant's nut s, for chrissake! (Joseph Wambaugh) stones O riginally in standard use, but now slang. • As my old un- armed combat instructor used to say: a boot in the stones is worth two in the teeth any day of the week. (William Bennet) * And what about the Irish girl? She was in and out of her chalet every half hoar with a different bloke. She must have a cunt like Heathrow Airport. (E.A. Whitehead) * O Tania, where now is that warm cunt of yours, those fat, heavy garters, those soft, bulging thighs? There is a bone in my prick six inches long, I will ream out every wrinkle in your cunt, Tania, big with seed. (Henry * Y que me dices de la chica iriandesa? Entra- ba y salia de su chalet cada media hora con un tipo diferente, Debia de tener un cono como el aeropuerto de Heathrow. • Oh, Tania! Donde estara ahora aquel cali- do cono tuyo, aquellas gruesas y pesadas li- gas, aquellos muslos suaves y turgentes? Tengo un hueso en la picha de quince centi- metros, Voy a alisarte todas las arrugas del cono. Tania inundandote de esperma. EDITO RIAL STAN LEY El Ingles Prohibido 5 www.FreeLibros.org • Amazing! Astonishing! Still can't get over the fantastic idea that when you are looking at a girl, you are looking at somebody who is guaranteed to have on her — a cunt! They all have cunts! Right under their dresses! Cunts — for fucking! (Philip Roth) • I placed her hand on my cock and then pulled up her nightie. I began to play with her cunt. The clit came out and I touched it gently again and again. Finally, I mounted. My cock entered halfway. It was very tight. (Charles Bukowski) • Sorprendente! jAsombroso! Todavia no pue- des admitir la fantastica idea de que, cuandd estas mirando a una chica, estas mirando a al- guien que, sin la menor duda, posee... un cono! jTodas tienen cono! jDebajo mismo de sus vestidos! Conos... jpara joder! • Puse su mano en mi verga y luego le sub! el camison. Empece a jugar con su cono. Se eri- gid el clitoris y lo acaricie con ternura, una y otra vez. Finalmente, la monte. Mi verga en- tr6 hasta la mitad. Su cono era muy estrecho. SY N O N Y MS: beaver • The expression was first used by news photogra- phers, who often got to see up women's skirts at accidents and sporting events and from under- neath fire escapes and so on. They needed a code word to yell to other newsmen and friendly policemen and firemen and so on, to let them know what could be seen, in case they wanted to see it. The word was this: 'Bea- ver!' (Kurt Vonnegut Jr.) • She might have been fifteen, but when you get that little red bea- ver right up there in front of you... no man alive could resist that. (One Flew Over the Cuck- oo's Nest) box • She was wearing toreador pants so tight you could almost see the crack of her box. (Joseph Wambaugh) • The chief looked at Mrs Billings spread-eagled on the bed... 'Damn, she's got a hairy box!' Chief Lynch whis- tled. (Joseph Wambaugh) fanny (UK) N ot the same mean- ing as in the US. See l.a above. • She had her dress hiked up and she wasn't wearing any knick- ers. I could see her fanny as clear as daylight. (Alan Beretta) minge • How d'you fancy a touch of Black Velvet? O ld Sylvia now? She's a good sort. Clever too. They reckon she can smoke a cheroot in her minge. (Peter N ichols) pootie Corruption of pussy. • She's quite cute, you know. Y oung supple breasts, a tight firm ass, and an uncharted pootie. (Cruel Intentions) pussy (US) Possibly from O ld N orse puss, meaning a pocket or pouch. • What are you talking about? Y ou walk out with those fuckin' creeps and low-lifes and degenerates out on the streets and you sell your little pussy for nothing. For some low-life pimp who stands in the hall? And I'm square? Y ou're the one that's square. (Taxi Driver) slit • O h, thou evil-smelling Slit / But half an inch removed from shit! / How can men wallow in thy piss / And call it everlasting bliss? (Robert Burns) • His cock was out, large, purple, ugly... Martin heard the boys' voices saying, 'Look! Look! He's got that big thing and he's trying to stick that big thing into her slit!' (Charles Bukowski) snatch • Sharon Stone crossed her legs and flashed some snatch — about one tenth of a second's worth — and was instantly world-famous. (Frank McCabe) • What word to use? 'Pussy' was on the tip of my tongue. But per- haps he found that offensive. Cunt? N o, that was worse. Snatch? Beaver? Hole? N o, no, and no. Plain old vagina? N o, he wasn't my gynecologist. I sighed. (Courtney Weaver) twat • He would sit in the dark for hours on end remembering her pendulous tits, her steaming twat. Men are more sentimental than women. (John O gilby) • A man! That was what she craved. A man with something between his legs that could tickle her, that could make her writhe in ec- stasy, make her grab that bushy twat of hers with both hands and rub it j oyfully, boastfully, proudly, with a sense of connec- tion, a sense of life. (Henry Miller) • His blue eyes crossed and bulged from the meticulous maddening scrutiny of the golden twat of his beloved. (Joseph Wambaugh) 6 El Ingles Prohibido EDITO RIAL STAN LEY www.FreeLibros.org 1. f clit -clitoris • Now, look, I want to show you something — the clit. It's where the feeling is. The clit hides, you see, it comes out when it's excited enough. It's pink and very sensitive. You only have to touch it with the tip of your tongue. (Charles Bukowski) • I rubbed a finger along her cunt. Soon it got wet and began to open. I put my finger inside. Then I pulled it out and rubbed the clit. (Char- les Bukowski) • I blossomed and Elmore sulked. Less and less was his tongue felt on my clit or his cock on my buttocks. (Erica Jong) • Atento, quiero ensenarte algo — el clitoris. Es el punto sensible. El clitoris se esconde, ves?, y sale cuando hay suficiente excitacion. Es rosado y muy sensible. Solo has de rozarlo con la punta de la lengua. • Pase un dedo por su cono, pronto se hume- deci6 y empezo a abrirse. Meti el dedo den- tro, luego lo saque y frote el clitoris. • Madure y Elmore se puso de mal humor. Cada vez con menor frecuencia era sentia su lengua en mi clitoris o su polla sobre mis nalgas. SYNO NYMS: fun pimple When I take the tip of my tongue and wiggle it against my Mary Louise's little fun pim- ple, she rises two feet off the bed. (Reservoir Dogs) 1. g pubes -vello pubico Not an obscene or even a slang term, pubes has nevertheless acquired taboo connotations, by association with contexts like those which follow: • Nick went down and spread Linda's legs. Her pubes were long and twisted and tangled. (John O gilby) • Her pubes were the same colour as the hair on her head: red, like fire. (Charles Bukowski) • I wanted for her to put my cock in her cunt, but she just kept rubbing. Her pubes began to irritate my cock. I pulled away. (James Laffan) • Nick se inclino y abrio las piernas de Lin- da. Los pelos de su cono eran largos, riza- dos y enredados. • Su vello pubico era del mismo color que el de su cabeza: rojo, como el fuego. • Espere que la metiera dentro, pero ella si- gui6 frotando. Su vello empez6 a irritarme la polla. Abandon6. SYNO NYMS: bush • It was a bush shot. You could see the pubic hair but not the sex parts. (John Irving) • Im- plants, calogen, plastics, capped teeth, the fat sucked out, the hair extended, the nose fixed, the bush shaved — these are not real wo- men, alright? (Beautiful Girls) muff From the alleged resem- blance between the pubic hair and a fur muff. • Then he tells me he buried his head in her muff. (Henry Miller) snatch-hair • Know what I did when I was fifteen? Sent a lock of my snatch-hair off in an en- velope t o Ma r l on Br a n do. Prick di dn ' t even ha ve t he courtesy to acknowledge re- ceipt. (Philip Roth) thatch • Arabs don't like women with too much thatch, in fact they tend to like them clean- shaven. (W.C. Doughty) • He found that Foxy Farrell made him itch all over — to throw her down and bury his face in the burnished thatch of pubic hair which had been shaved to the shape of a hea rt. ( Joseph Wambaugh) EDITO RIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 7 www.FreeLibros.org 1. h private parts -partes pudendas . 'Look,' I said, once we were out of the store, 'a little shopping advice; when you go off to do something so very simple as exchanging money for goods, it isn't necessary to flash your snatch at everyone this side of the horizon. Okay?' 'Flash what? Who flashed anything?' 'You, Mary Jane! Your supposedly private parts!' (Philip Roth) • —Mira —dije, una vez que salimos de la tienda—, permiteme un consejo: cuando va- yas a hacer algo tan sencillo como cambiar dinero por una mercancia, no es necesario que le ensenes el cono a todo el mundo. De acuer- do? — Ensenar que? Quien ha ensenado nada? —jTu, Mary Jane! Tus supuestas par- tes intimas! S YN ON YMS : privates • The most playful variation is Barbara Aselmeier's. Her screen boasts a dozen iden- tical snapshots of a bearded, burly man. In each instance, he is naked but for a computer icon, a space-age fig leaf, covering his privates. (N ew York Times) • The dancer wiped the black man's glasses on what the Vice S quad would have called her 'privates'. (Ed McBain) parts Lydia was probably kiss- ing some son of a bitch right now, or worse, kissing his parts. (Charles Bukowski) 1. i tits -tetas • — Do you miss having tits? — To be completely frank with you, that is the stupidest question I ever heard. What man in his right mind would want tits? (David Mamet) • As we kissed I reached down into her blouse. I found a tit and cupped my hand on it and rolled it around. S he wasn't wearing a bra. (Charles Bukowski) « He was still sucking Laura's tits, going from one to the other. Her nipples were erect. (James Laffan) • I mean, think about it. I have big tits. Is that the only reason he was interested in me? It makes me rethink this entire relationship — did I even know this guy? (Courtney Weaver) • S he was a bit fat. Her tits were very large but they sagged a lot. (John Ogilby) • S he was all tits and ass. (Lenny Bruce) • S he was on the bed with only her panties on. One hand was covering her eyes. Her tits looked good. (James Laffan) • — Echas de menos tener tetas? — Para serte completamente sincero, esa es la pregunta mas estupida que he oido. Que hombre en su sano juicio querria tetas? • Mientras nos besabamos me adentre en su blusa. Encontre una teta y la abarque con mi mano acariciandola. N o llevaba sosten. • Todavia estaba chupando los pechos de Laura, pasando del uno al otro. Los pezones estaban duros. • Piensatelo. Tengo tetas grandes. i,Es esa la unica raz6n por la que se intereso en mi? Me hace replantearme toda esta relacidn — lle- gue a conocer a este tipo? • Estaba un poco gorda. S us tetas eran muy grandes, pero le caian flaceidas. • Era todo tetas y culo. • Estaba en la cama solo con las bragas pues- tas. Tenia un brazo tapandose los ojos. S us tetas tenian buena pinta. 8 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL S TAN LEY www.FreeLibros.org S Y N O N Y M S : bazooms (US ) From a comic mispronunciation of bosom. • It was another case of Bio-Energetic Breast Cream for S outh Beach bazooms. (Elmore Leonard) boobs • Pulling one of her boobs out of her bra, she enqui red, ' Anyone l i ke a l i t t l e mor e milk.' (Philip Thomas) • I' ve been baby-sitting since I was ten, I' ve got almost three thou- sand dollars. I was saving it for a boob job. But my tits can wait. (American Beauty) • He also recognizes how the pres- sure to prove his masculinity drove him to objectify girls. 'I treated my gi rl fri ends real l y bad,' he says. 'I admit it. I was l i ke, O h, t her e' s a pai r of boobs, I'll go stand next to it. I think I'll go talk to it.' (N ew Y ork Times) bristols (UK) Rhyming slang of Bristol City, a football club, and titty. • Her f ul l and shapely bristols bobbled up and down as she ran. (Alan Beretta) jugs Perhaps from the associa- tion with milk jug. • Her buns and jugs filled her bikini to over- flowing. (John O gilby) knockers From the notion of pendulous breasts knocking to- gether. • The good news is that Gloria has a pretty nice set of knockers, all right. And dyna- mite legs. And she ain' t got no balls. The bad news is, she ain' t had her second operation yet. S he still has her dick! (Joseph Wambaugh) • I have a feeling all modern men are like this. They spout the lines, but then in the face of some luscious knockers, they revert back to little boys who haven' t gotten enough of that X-rated feeling. How can I t r ust any of ' em? ( Cour t ney Weaver) melons • If Demi M oore wants to fill her melons up with sili- con, it' s ok. with me, but don' t expect me t o admi r e t hem. (N ew Y ork Times) • Why baby, I did it all for you. I t hought you' d like it sweetheart... Why, I thought you'd get all excited... sort of heave and pant and come r unni ng at me, your mel ons bobbling. (Edward Albee) EDITO RIAL S TAN LEY El Ingles Prohibido 9 www.FreeLibros.org EXERCISE 1.1 In each of the following lists, all the words are synonymous except one. Spot the odd man out and explain why the word in question is misplaced. 1. (a) twat (b) putz (c) slit (d) pussy (e) box (f) snatch 2. (a) joint (b) tool (c) dick (d) prick (e) beaver (f) pecker 3. (a) nuts (b) ballocks (c) pubes (d) stones (e) cobblers (f) goolies 4. (a) privates (b) jugs (c) melons (d) bristols (e) knockers (f) boobs 5. (a) tail (b) bum (c) beam (d) bush (e) butt (f) rear EXERCISE 1.2 Here are some less common slang terms for the various parts of the body dealt with in this chapter. Try to identify the part of the body to which each group of synonyms refers. 1. assets, bangers, bazongas, ba- zookas, billibongs, bombers, bouncers, bubbas, butterballs, cantaloupes, charlies, gazongas, goombas, hooters, howitzers, kalamazoos, lactoids, nancies, palookas, patooties, peaches, torpedoes, water- melons, wobblers, woofers, zeppelins, zingers 2. cherry picker, yard, knob, poker, doodle, snake, needle, pego, machine, dingus, organ, micky, middle leg, tube, pen- cil, dingdong, sausage, plonker, winkle, stalk, rig, ding-a-ling, prong, tonk, shaft, candle, joy stick, reamer, tick- ler, wazoo, wire, yang 3. bearded clam, hair pie, ace of spades, bull's eye, bunny, button hole, cleft, cockpit, cookie, cranny, crease, cunny, front window, furburger, honey-pot, key- hole, Lady Jane, meat grinder, nest, niche, nook, oyster catcher, patch, oven, poor man's blessing, quiff, quim, quiver, slot, snapper, steam room, tunnel, twitcher, vertical smile 4. chooms, bangers, cherries, clangers, danglers, eggs, jewels, marbles, onions, plums, pounders, swingers, knackers, pills, rocks 5. prat, moon, rass, rear, duff, jacksy, tochus, bim, slats, quoit, chuff, zatch, bronze, tush, acre, heinie EXERCISE 1.3 Translate the following sentences into English. 1. Empece a frotar mi polla contra su vientre. Me aparto de un empujon. 2. Empece a jugar con su cono. Se erigio el clitoris y lo acaricie con ternura. 3. Mi marido no tenia personalidad, solo una enorme polla. 4. No te quedes ahi tocandote las narices, haz algo. 5. Me picaba el ano pero habia demasiada gente y no podia rascarmelo. 6. Tetas y culo. Lo unico que le importa son las tetas y el culo. 7. Nos metimos debajo de las sabanas y empece a jugar con sus partes. 8. Con un movimiento de mandlbulas el perro podia arrancarme las pelotas. 9. Me picaba el escroto. El picor se fue haciendo insoportable. Segui caminando y rascandome los cojones. 10. A veces se metian las sustancias quimicas nocivas por el agujero del culo. 11. Las chicas no tenian tetas y sus traseros eran pequenitos. 12. Los pelos de su cono eran largos, rizados y enredados. 13. Se sento en mi regazo y me beso. Mi polla se puso como una roca en contacto con su firme trasero. 14. Hay que darle una buena patada para que se ponga en movimiento. 15. Pase un dedo por su cono, pronto se humedecio y se abrio. Meti el dedo dentro. 16. Se me fue el pie y me cai de culo. 17. Tenia miedo de las enfermedades de la piel, el cuero cabelludo y el ano. 18. Todavia estaba chupando las tetas de Clare. Los pezones estaban alzados. 19. Tenia su mano puesta en los huevos de Tom, luego la subio hacia arriba y agarro su polla. 20. Era una cuestion de valor. Me pregunte si tendria suficientes cojones. 10 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org EXERCISE 1.4 (Gina picks up a Penthouse magazine and tells two of her male friends, Mitch and Tommy, what she thinks of the image of female beauty the magazine presents.) I'm speaking to both of you, okay, you're both fucking insane. You wanna know what your problem is? MTV, Playboy, and Madison fucking Avenue. Yeah. Let me explain something to you. OK, look, girls with big tits have big asses, girls with little tits have little asses. That's the way it goes. God doesn't fuck around, he's a fair guy. He gave the fatties big, beautiful tits, and the skinnies little, tiny niddlers. If you don't like it, call him. Hey Mitch. Thank you. Oh guys, look what we have here... (picking up Penthouse magazine and opening it) Look at this: your favorite. Yeah, that's nice, right? Well, it doesn't exist, okay? Look at the hair. The hair is long, it's flowing, it's like a river. Well, it's a fucking weave, okay? And the tits. Please, I could hang my overcoat on them. Tits, by design, are intended to be suckled by babies. Yeah, they're purely functional. These are silicone city. And look, my favorite, the shaved pubes. Pubic hair being so unruly and all. Very vain. This is a mockery, this is a sham, this is bullshit. Implants, calogen, plastics, capped teeth, the fat sucked out, the hair extended, the nose fixed, the bush shaved — these are not real women, alright? They're beauty freaks. And they make all us normal women with our wrinkles, our puckered boobs, our cellulite, feel somewhat inadequate. Well, I don't buy it, alright? While you fuckers think that there's a chance in hell that you' l l end up with one of these women you don' t give us real women any thing approaching a commitment. It's pathetic. I don't know what you think you' re going to do. You're going to end up 80 years old, drooling in some nursing home, and then you'll decide that it's time to settle down, get married, have kids. What are you going to do: find a cheerleader? From the screenplay Beautiful Girls by Scott Rosenberg Using what you have learned in this chapter and in the preceding exercises and what you can guess from the context, find words or phrases in the above passage corresponding to these descriptions: 1. A word which, as an adverb, means 'very, extremely'; and which, as an adjective, has no precise meaning but is used purely for negative emphasis. 2. Three words which mean female breasts. 3. The standard American English term for buttocks. 4. A phrasal verb which means to tamper, play, toy or meddle, to treat in an irresponsible way. 5. Two words for pubic hair. 6. A word which, in this context, means mendacious nonsense. 7. A derogatory term which can be used of any male. EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 11 www.FreeLibros.org 2: BODY F U N C T I ON S l.a piss -mear, meada Although both a verb and a noun, like its synonyms listed below, piss is frequently used in verbal constructions like to go for a piss, to take a piss, to have a piss, etc. « I finished my drink and went into the bathroom to take a piss. (James Laffan) » How in hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30 a.m. by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a pla- ce where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else? (C harles Bukowski) • I looked out and saw a guy standing on the porch, pissing. He was pissing against a bush to the left of the porch. The piss shot upwards in a solid stream and then fell back downwards into the bushes. (Charles Bukowski) • Acabe mi copa y fui al bano a echar una meada. • Cdmo cono podia un hombre disfrutar si su sueno era mterrumpido a las 6:30 de la mana- na por el estrepito de un despertador, tenia que saltar fuera de la cama, vestirse, desayunar sin ganas, cagar, mear, cepillarse los dientes y el pelo y pelear con el trafico hasta llegar a un lugar donde uno suele ganar cantidad de di- nero para otro? • Mire y vi a un tipo de pie en el porche, meando. Estaba meando en un arbusto a la izquierda del porche; la meada se arquea ba en un solido chorro, hacia arriba, y luego, hacia los matorrales. S Y N O N Y MS : leak U sed mainly in the expres- sion to take a leak. • S ometimes somebody would say, ' Excuse me, I have to take a leak'. T his was a way of sayi ng t hat the speaker intended to drain liquid wastes from his body through a valve in his lower abdomen. (Kurt Vonnegut Jr.) pee • I had to take a pee, so I ex- cused myself and I went to the bathroom down the hallway. (Smoke) • 'Hey, hey, what' s the matter?' Joe asked. Ratso looked at him quickly and then he looked away again, and softly, almost in- audibly, he said, 'I peed.' 'You what?' 'Peed! Peed! Peed my pants!' (James Leo Herlihy) piddle • Every ten minutes or so he excused himself with the words, ' I ' m going for a piddle. Be right back.' I concluded he had a bad bladde r . (D ani el Ogg) • Ameri can researchers, standi ng with stopwatches out- si de mot or way s e r vi ce s t a- tions, have f ound that women take almost t wi ce as long to piddle as men, or rather twice as long to emerge from the toi- lets; one and a half minutes for a woman, an amazing 44 sec- onds for a man. S omething has to be done. (Guardi an) pish (S cots, I ri sh) T he dog st opped s uddenly, cocked a hind leg and pished against the lamppost. (S eamus Easton) slash All those hours I 've been sitting out here waiting for you, afraid I 'd miss you. C hrist, I 'm bur s t i ng for a slash. (James Laffan) tinkle T hat's another problem with suede shoes: you're always in danger of tinkling on them and then the stain' s there for- ever, isn' t it? (Alan Beretta) wee-wee Mainly a children' s word. • D on' t forget, dear, the little ones do a wee-wee before they go to bed. (E.A. Whitehead) wi ddle • — ' Anybody know where F rankie is?' — 'Yeah, he' s jus t stepped out for a widdle'. (Alan Beretta) 12 El I ngles Prohibido ED I T O RI AL S T AN LEY www.FreeLibros.org 2. b shit, shite -cagar, mierda Shit is the more common of the two forms but shite, used mainly in northern England, Scotland and Ireland, is the more expressive. It is both a verb and a noun. As a verb, shit is irregular: either shit- shit-shit, or shit-shat-shat. As the examples demonstrate, the word is frequently used in a figurative sense. Numerous idiomatic uses are examined in more detail in Chapter 10. • As a schoolboy I could not think of a time when I had ever shat in company. I had always shat alone. In a room that was locked. The thought of having to shit with someone doing the same thing twelve inches away disgusted me, (Ken Lukowiak) • I went to the crapper and had a shit. Constipation wasn't one of my problems. (John Ogilby) • I felt like having a shit. I took off my pants and squatted in the brush with the flies and the mosquitoes. I had to wipe myself with leaves. (Charles Bukowski) » Piles of rubbish everywhere, dirty plates, shit stains in the toilet, crud in the bathtub. (Gabriella T. Oldfield) • She talked about Huxley and Lawrence in Italy. What shit. (Charles Bukowski) • I'm going to tell her the truth. I'm going to end this shit. (James Laffan) • Cuando era nino jamas se me habia ocurri- do la idea de cagar acompanado. Siempre ha- bia cagado solo. En una habitaci6n cerrada con pestillo. Pensar que tendria que cagar con al- guien haciendo lo mismo a treinta centfme- tros me asqueaba. • Fui al bafto y eche una cagada. El estreni- miento no era uno de mis problemas. • Tenia ganas de echar una cagada. Me baje los pantalones y me agache entre los arbus- tos con moscas y mosquitos. Me tuve que limpiar con hojas. • Montones de basura por todas partes, platos sucios, manchas de mierda en el retrete, cos- tras en la banera. • Ella hablaba de Huxley y de Lawrence en Italia. Vaya mierda. • Le voy a decir la verdad. Voy a acabar con esta mierda! RELATED TERMS: crap From the name of Thomas Crapper, inventor of the flush- ing toilet. • Oh, Doctor, I wipe and I wipe and I wipe, I spend as much time wiping as I do crapping, maybe even more. I use toilet paper like it grew on trees. (Philip Roth) dingleberry A piece of dried faecal matter attached to the hair around the anus. • With a pained expression he detached the tena- cious dingleberry, then fetched it up to eye level for inspection. (James Laffan) doodley-squat (US) Mainly used figuratively, meaning noth- ing or very little. • Their coun- try was by far the richest and most powerful country on the planet ... Most other countries di dn' t have doodl ey- s quat . (Kurt Vonnegut Jr.) dump (US) • You ever take a dump made you feel like you'd j us t slept for t welve hours? (Glengarry Glen Ross) • I want that head so sanitary and squared away that the Virgin Mary her- self would be proud to go in there and take a dump! (Full Metal Jacket) pooh, poo, poo-poo A chil- dren's word, from the exclama- tion pooh provoked by an un- pleasant smell. • 'I need to pooh,' one four-year-old tod- dler whi s pered di ffi dent l y. (Gladys Hellman) • Gus and Theo, his best mate from playgroup, hit the potty- talk stage together. Their an- them, or should I say mantra, became, 'Poo-poo, wee-wee, bum-bum', repeated in the car, at the lunch table and at teatime until the boys were red-faced and gaspi ng from gi ggli ng. (Carol Hall) poop, poopy • I never saw such a dirty town — litter scattered eve- rywhere, dog poop all over the place. (Gabriella T. Oldfield) • A recent cartoon on Japanese TV features a hero who makes a EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 13 www.FreeLibros.org sidekick out of his own faeces. Meanwhile, at the local temple, visitors buy plastic poop trin- kets to bring them good luck. And at the corner store, a vast array of poop-shaped candy is on sale — a veritable copropha- gous feast. (Salon) turd A piece of excrement. • I hadn' t been there more than ten minutes before there were three turds on the carpet. A superfi- cially humorous but vicious dis- pute ensued about who had done the turds. (Helen Fielding) • The five of us are st andi ng there looking at the bidet. There are two enormous turds floating in the water. The madam bends down and puts a towel over it. (Henry Miller) • Life and literature is a ques- tion of what one thrills to, and further than that no man shall go without putting his foot in a turd. (Philip Larkin) 2. c fart -pedo • God or somebody keeps creating women and tossing them out on the streets, and this one's ass is too big and that one's tits are too small and this one is mad and that one is crazy ... and this one can't control her farts. (Charles Bukowski) • At least McHugh wasn't there, stinking the place out with his farts. (James Laffan) • Sometimes when I'm drinking a cup of pale tea in which he has dropped a rose leaf he co- mes alongside of me and lets a loud fart, right in my face. He never says 'Excuse me!' (Henry Miller) • When I fart in the bathtub, she kneels naked on the tile floor, leans all the way over, and kisses the bubbles. (Philip Roth) • Another animal invented by the Creator of the Universe was a Mexican beetle which could make a blank cartridge gun out of its rear end. It could detonate its own farts and knock over other bugs with shock waves. (Kurt Vonnegut Jr.) • Dios, o quien sea, no para de crear mujeres y de lanzarlas al mundo, y el culo de esta es demasiado grande y las tetas de esa son de- masiado pequenas, y esta otra esta chiflada y aquella es una histerica... y esta no puede con- trolar sus pedos. • Al menos alli no estara McHugh apestando los pozos con sus pedos. • A veces, cuando estoy tomando una taza de te claro en el que ha echado un petalo de rosa, se me acerca y se tira un sonoro pedo en mis propias nances. Nunca dice: 'jPerddn!' • Cuando me echo un pedo en la banera, ella se arrodilla desnuda, en el embaldosado sue- lo, se inclina y besa las burbujas. • Otro animal inventado por el Creador del Universo era un escarabajo mejicano que po- dia convertir su parte posterior en una espe- cie de cartucho sin bala por el que lanzar pedos a propulsion y abatir a otros bichos con las ondas de choque. SY NONY MS: breezer (Austr) • How could you get any sleep in a ward like t hat , wi t h half a dozen old geriatric bastards snoring and wheezing and hawking and let- ting breezers all around you every bl essed i nst ant of t he night? It was like trying to kip in a war zone. (Barry Osworth) hummer (UK) An evil-smelling fart. • What one of you fuckers farted? Christ, what a hummer! (James Laffan) roaster (UK) A hot, noiseless, noisome fart. • Y ou never knew she had unleashed a roaster until it was too late. They were silent and deadly. The smell, like a fetid wind blowing over a field of pu- trefying red cabbages, would hit you all at once, bringing a flood of tears to your eyes. Then she would go hee-hee-hee, as if she'd just accomplished something hi- larious. (John Ogilby) squelcher A fart with liquid content. Also known as a GBL fart, an abbreviation of Gam- bled But Lost. • He knew he shouldn't have eaten the figs. Now he' d be laying squelchers f r om arsehole t o br eakf ast time. (John Ogilby) 14 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org 2. the shits -la cagalera * The introduction of fresh rations into our bodies had a none-too-pleasant effect on our digestive systems. We got the shits. (Ken Lukowiak) * After that dinner, I had the shits for a month. (Gabriella T. Oldfield) * When I awakened I was sweating. I got up and went to the bathroom. I had the running shits. Then I got up and wiped, looked; what a mess, I thought, what a lovely powerful stink. Then I vomited and flushed it all away. (Charles Bukowski) La introduccion de provisiones frescas en nuestros cuerpos tuvo un efecto nada agrada- ble sobre nuestros aparatos digestivos. Nos en- tro la cagalera. • Despues de esa cena, tuve cagalera durante un mes. • Cuando me desperte estaba sudando. Me le- vante y fui al bano. Tenia diarrea. Cuando me incorpore y me limpie, eche un vistazo; vaya un plato, pense, que adorable y poderosa peste. Entonces vomite y tire de la cadena. S Y NONY MS : Aztec revenge S trictly, the term applies only to diarrhoea suf- fered by visitors to Mexico, but it is widely understood. • With his luck he'd die of Aztec Re- venge anyway, first time he had a Bibb lettuce salad. (Joseph Wambaugh) the runs • I never eat canta- loupe. It gives me the runs . (David Mamet) the squits (UK) It was supposed to be a high-class Parisian res- taurant, so you didn't expect the loo to be one of those awful Arab affairs: two wretched footholds to squat on and an obscenely dark little hole in the middle. To cap it all, at least one previous patron had clearly had the squits. (Gabriella T. Oldfield) the squitters • — Had a rough night last night. Boozing and whoring. Paid for it this morn- ing though. The agony in the lavatory. — The squitters? (E.A. Whitehead) the trots • I'd go easy on the ol- ive oil if I were you, mate, un- less you're looking for a case of the trots. (Alan Beretta) 2. e I shit-house, shite-house -retrete, cagadero • He felt nauseous. He opened the door of the shitehouse and went in. The place stank. He took out his prick and began to piss. (Herbert Loth) • Harry had to go for a piss. The shithouse was at the end of the corridor. (Herbert Loth) • I went in and cleaned the shithouse, scrubbed the bathtub, and changed the sheets and pillow cases on my bed. (James Laffan) • Sinti6 nauseas. Abrio la puerta del retrete, y entro. El lugar apestaba. Se sac6 el pijo y em- pez6 a mear. • Harry tuvo que ir a echar una meada. El re- trete quedaba al final del pasillo. • Me fui a limpiar el retrete, restregar la bane- ra y cambiar las sabanas y fundas de almoha- da de mi cama. S Y NONY MS : bog, bogs • Hold on a minute, will you, Kev, I have to go to the bogs. I'll be right back. (Diane Chanteau) • Go to the bog, he thought, and put the paper in your casual. (S haun Herron) sock. That was it, do the whole thing in the bog. They couldn't come into the bog with him; he'd put everything in his sock, flush the bog, and come out looking can (US) • In the vestibule, as I'm buttoning my fly, I notice one of them waiting for her friend to come out of the can. (Henry Miller) EDITORIAL S TANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 15 d www.FreeLibros.org crapper • She heard a chain being pulled, then the sound of flushing. Then Kevin emerged from the crapper, still plunged intently in his paperback edition of Being and Nothingness. (Diane Chanteau) • The day Jon changed the kitty litter, I nearly went into shock... Cyrus the Cat' s little crapper certainly had begun to smell. (Clea Simon) • His function? He sees that toi- let paper is plentiful, especially in the ladies' crapper. (Charles Bukowski) dunny (Aust r) • Danger ous place Aust r al i a. What wi t h deadly poisonous spiders lurk- ing under the rim of the toilet bowl, a man can't feel safe even in the comfort of his own dunny. (Barry Osworth) head (US) • I want you two turds to clean the head. I want that head so sanitary and squared away that the Virgin Mary her- self would be proud to go in there and take a dump! (Full Metal Jacket) John (US) • — You sure you didn't see my hat? — Look in the John. — It isn't in the John. I wouldn't leave it there. (David Mamet) • Sanitary appliance manufactur- ers are eager to make our toilets unisex. As if moving the John into the powder room i sn' t enough, even single-sex conven- iences are being equipped with traditionally male attire. The Soho bar Pop has installed the Lady P, a uri nal for women. (Guardian) karzy (UK) • They've got dope in here somewhere. Don't let any- one go anywhere until we find it. Especially not to the karzy. (Barry Osworth) lav, lavo • That smell is famil- iar. Years ago I painted a ladies' lavatory. Yeah, a lavo in a club in Slater Street. That was a job I didn't forget. (E.A. Whitehead) loo (UK) • Do you mind if I use your loo? (Helen Fielding) • Have just been sick, and as I slumped over the loo trying to do it quietly so Daniel wouldn't hear, he suddenly yelled out from the bedroom, 'There goes your inner poise, my plumptious. Best place for it, I say.' (Helen Fielding) shouse ( Aust r ) Syncopat ed form of shit-house. • He spends half his bloody life locked up in the shouse. Christ only knows what he' s doi ng i n t here. (Barry Osworth) 2. f bumf -papel higienico The word can have several meanings, depending on context. Usually it means toilet paper, but sometimes it refers simply to paper of poor quality. It is often used derogatorily to mean official documents, as in the third example. • (UK) If you're going down to the shops, don't forget to buy some bumf, love. We're nearly out. (Diane Chanteau) • (UK) Thank you very much for your letter and please excuse the bumf this is written on. (Philip Larkin) • (UK) Don't ever start a company, even a small one, unless you like dealing with bumf, 'cause there's just no end to it. (Alan Beretta) • Si vas de compras, que no se te olvide co- ger un poco de papel higienico. Casi no nos queda. • Muchas gracias por tu carta y, por favor, disculpa el papel cutre en el que esto esta escrito. • No se te ocurra crear una empresa, por muy pequefia que sea, a no ser que te guste el papeleo, porque eso es algo que no ter- mina nunca. SYNONYMS: ass-wipe • Restrooms were al- ways first. Clean the sinks, the toilets, empty the baskets, get the mirrors, replace the hand- towels, fill the soap containers, use lots and lots of deodorant, and be sure there's plenty of ass- wipe and paper toilet seat cov- ers. (Charles Bukowski) bog-roll • I hate that. You sit down, have a good wholesome crap, then discover there's no bloody bog-roll. What sort of shi t ehouse are you wankers runni ng here anyway? (John Ogilby) 16 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org 2. g puke -vomitar, vomitona • — You make me puke! Uh... you make me puke! — That wasn't a very nice thing to say, Martha. (Edward Albee) • I ran to the bathroom and puked. I tried to brash my teeth but only puked again — the sweetness of the toothpaste turned my stomach. (Charles Bukowski) • I stretched out next to her. We kissed. Her mouth smelled of puke. (Charles Bukowski) • You never knew. You could never be sure. I was scared. I felt like puking. (John Ogilby) • Garbage man. I shuddered at the thought of all that garbage, the morning hangovers ... me puking my guts into the orange rinds, coffee grounds, wet cigarette ashes, banana peels and the used tampax. (Charles Bukowski) • — Me haces vomitar! Uf! ... me haces vo- mitar. — Lo que has dicho es muy desagrada- ble, Martha. • Me fui corriendo al bano a vomitar. Trate de lavarme los dientes pero lo unico que conse- gui fue vomitar de nuevo. El dulzor de la pas- ta de dientes me revolvia el estomago. • Me arrime a ella. Nos besamos. Su boca olia a vomito. • Nunca se sabia. Nunca podia uno estar segu- ro. Estaba nervioso. Sentfa ganas de vomitar. • Basurero. Me estremeci al pensar en toda esa basura, las resacas de madrugada ... y yo echando las tripas junto a peladura de naran- ja, posos de cafe, cenizas mojadas de cigarri- llos, cascaras de platano y tampax usados. SYNONYMS: All the following are verbs. Single words (barf, boke, chunder and spew) can also be used, like puke, as nouns. barf (US) • If you're liable to airsickness, make sure you keep this little bag handy, to barf into should the need arise. (Linda Starr) • I ain't in favor of kiddy porn, you understand. Makes me wanna barf. Some of those little girls and boys, eight, nine years old. (Joseph Wambaugh) blow beets (US) What was in that pie? Everybody who ate it is blowing beets. (Airplane) boke (Scots, Irish) Noun as well as verb. • Many's the time, after a rough night in the boozer, MacAleese and I leaned against the same wall, boking our guts up. That's the kind of shared ex- perience that cements a friend- ship. (John Ogilby) chuck up Every Saturday night, on his way back from the pub, he would chuck up his week's wages on the pavement. (James Laffan) chunder (Austr) Even from a distance I could see he wasn't in the car. But in the moonlight, on the ground next to the front passenger door, I could make out a great livid patch of chunder. (William Williamson) go for the big spit (Austr) You don't look too clever, Micky. Just one thing: if you're going for the big spit, stick your head out the window. Don't chuck up in here. (Barry Osworth) ralph (US) Imitative of the sound of vomiting. • The doc gave him some pills that would help him ralph it up. (Norman Keaton) spew Noun as well as verb. • Je- sus Christ Almighty, what a night. Pah! I'm covered in that rotten bastard's spew. Give us a rag, somebody. (John McGrath) • Your letter found me last night when I came in off the piss: in point of fact I had spewed out of a train window. (Philip Larkin) throw up • My god, I feel aw- ful. I think I'm going to throw up. (Helen Fielding) • Do you know what those American sol- diers did to your poor mother while your poor father threw up his guts in the next room? Those bastards! (Lenny Bruce) • — Your wife throws up a lot, eh? — Well, it' s true. . . She does throw up a lot. Once she starts... there's practically no stopping her. (Edward Albee) EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 17 www.FreeLibros.org 2. h gob -escupir, escupitajo • She gobbed in his face. (John Le Carre) • Moving her head, Jane used her tongue. Andrew came. Jane gobbed on the carpet. (Dympna Marston) • Never mind his unpleasant habit of hacking up massive gobs of phlegm, which he then expectorates into the Persian carpet at his visitor's feet. (Salon) • Le escupio en la cara. • Moviendo su cabeza, Jane uso la lengua. Andrew se corrio. Jane escupio en la alfombra. • Ignora su desagradable costumbre de toser cantidades masivas de flema, las cuales expectora hacia la alfombra persa a los pies de sus invitados. An uncountable noun, unlike its synonyms, snot is used with a singular verb. Derivatives are snotty, snot-nosed, and snotty-nosed (mocoso, lleno de mocos, estirado). • A thin moustache. Vacant eyes. Out of one of his nostrils streamed a nearly invisible thread of snot that had finally gathered into a little gleaming ball. The ball had settled in the moustache and was gathering to drip off. (Charles Bukowski) • —You can't get snot off suede. The jacket's ruined. You can flake it off, but the black mark will always be there. — What'll I do? — Just snot over the whole jacket, that's the only thing you can do! (Lenny Bruce) • It is estimated that, during one winter month alone, if all the snot blown into Kleenex tissues in the United States and Canada were spread over the playing surface of the Yale Bowl, it would reach a depth of one-and-a- half feet. (William Styron) • You've seen a lot of snot. You've seen it in back of radiators in Milner Hotels. Looks like bas-relief wood-glue. (Lenny Bruce) • Un fino bigote. Ojos ausentes. De uno de los orificios de su nariz caia un casi invisible hilillo de moco que finalmente se recogia en una pelotilla brillante. La pelotilla de moco se le habia quedado pegada al bigote y estaba a punto de caerse. • — No se puede quitar los mocos del ante. La chaqueta esta estropeada. Puedes raspario, pero siempre quedara una marca negra. — Que puedo haeer? — Echa mocos por toda la cha- queta, eso es lo unico que puedes hacer! « Se calcula que si durante un unico mes de invierno, todos los mocos soplados en panue- los Kleenex en los Estados Unidos y Canada se extendiesen sobre la superficie de juego del estadio de Yale, se alcanzaria una profundi- dad de 45 centimetros. • Se ve mucho moco. Se ve en la parte de atras de los radiadores en los Hoteles Milner. Parece pegamento para madera. SYNONYMS: bogey His words were dignified and moving, or rather, would have been, had not Sheila found herself strangely fascinated by the large green bogey, still moist and glistening, which adhered to his moustache. (Brian Adgers) booger • Joker's so tough, he'd eat the boogers out of a dead man's nose ... then ask for sec- onds. (Full Metal Jacket) • Not everything we see or read has to be improving. There's no reason a kid can't enjoy David Lean's film of 'Great Expectations' and the fart and booger jokes in 'Dumb and Dumber.' (Salon) snotter I told her I was going and that nothing she could say would change that. She stood there crying her heart out, snotters blinding her. (James Laffan) 18 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org 2. j come, cum -leche. semen * She took her handkerchief out of her bag and began gobbing into it as if she were expectorating come. 'Hey,' I said, 'What are you trying to sell me? I didn't come'. (Char- les Bukowski) * Dan, I love the taste of come. It tastes like everything good ... just... coming out of your cock ... the Junior Prom ... an autumn afternoon ... (David Mamet) * Oh God, did you shoot in her mouth? Oh my God! And did she swallow it right down, or spit it out, or get mad — tell me, what did she do with your hot come! (Philip Roth) . She's on her back, her legs are in the air, she's coming like a choo-choo and she's screaming 'don't stop.' (David Mamet) Some girls think it's awful to come with a client — but isn't there something rather declasse about never coming with a John? It's like being one of those union employees who won't move a sheet of paper from one side of the desk to the other if it's not in their contract. What a dreary way to work! (Salon) • Sac6 el panuelo de su bolso y escupio en el como si estuviera escupiendo semen. —Eh — le dije— Que estas tratando de venderme? No me he corrido. • Dan, me encanta el sabor del semen. Sabe a todo lo bueno... saliendo de tu polla... el baile de final de curso... una tarde de otono... • Oh Dios, £te corriste en su boca? Oh, Dios mio! Y se lo trago, o lo escupio, o se puso furiosa? Dimelo! Que hizo ella cuando te corriste? • Esta tumbada, sus piernas en el aire, se esta corriendo como un tren y esta gritando — 'no pares.' • Algunas chicas creen que es terrible correr- se con un cliente — pero no es una falta de clase el no correrse nunca con un cliente? Es como ser un empleado sindicado que no mueve un folio de un lado del despacho al otro si no esta por escrito en su contrato. Que manera mas deprimente de trabajar! SYNONYMS: gissum • ' Son of a bitch kike!' Bubbl es scr eams. ' You got gissum all over the couch! And the wal l s! And the l amp! ' (Philip Roth) jism • Massage parlors were something new and exciting in New York ... Men could be rubbed all over by a woman until their pe- nises squirted jism into Turkish towels. (Kurt Vonnegut Jr.) • Lust y sows mi ght r egar d swine spunk as sexy, and Ne- braska pig-ranchers accept it as a procreating necessity, but ordinary humans undoubtedly view oinker jism as a repulsive fluid they' d rather not think about. (Hank Hyena) jizz • —What's a jizz-mopper? —He's the guy that cleans up the nudie booth after each guy jerks off. The jizz-mopper's job is to clean off the glass after each guy shoots a load. I don't know if you noticed, but cum leaves streaks if you don't clean it right away. (Clerks) • Woman wanted to fuck me last night. I said, 'No, baby, nothing doing.' Then I told her I'd do it if she gave me five bucks. It takes five bucks worth of steak to replace that j i zz. (Charles Bukowski) scum (US) You'd be surprised how many people like to do it in the back of the taxi. Last thing every night, I have to clean the scum off the back seat. (Jake Newington) shoot (US) Also used as a verb, usually followed by o f f . • A Jew- ish man, who cared about the welfare of the poor of the City of New York, was eating her pussy! Someone who had ap- peared on educational TV was shooting off into her mouth! (Philip Roth) spunk • We've got a leopard- skin rug in the flat and he wanted me to fuck him on that. Only I'm EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 19 www.FreeLibros.org afraid of the spunk, you see, it mi ght a dver sel y a f f ect t he spot s of the l eopa r d. (Joe Orton) • You know that f unny little i nternal dri ppi ng you get after sex when you stand up, and you know you have maybe two seconds to get to the toi- let before his spunk starts run- ni ng down the inside of your leg? Well, this time — noth- ing. (Courtney Weaver) 2. k the rag -la regla, el penodo, compresa A euphemistic term denoting a sanitary towel, sometimes made more specific and less euphemistic, as in the final example below. It is used in various expressions referring to menstruation: to be on the rag, to have the rag, to ride the rag, to wear the rag, to have the rags up, etc. • — I think she had the rags up. — And how would you know? — I had a bit of finger pie. (E.A. Whitehead) • She told him she was wearing the rag, but that didn't cool his ardour in the least. (James Laffan) • So why the long face, man? Your old lady on the rag? (Poor Black Trash) • There was this thing on the floor., a rag someone had left there... a jamrag... left it on the floor of the lavatory! (E.A. Whitehead) • We had Darlene for openers. Probably somebody had been murdered or was on the rag or was having a screaming fit, and this was Darlene's chance to dance solo again. (Char- les Bukowski) •You ever seen a nun call a small child a 'fucking cunt-rag'? Wasn't pretty. (Chasing Amy) • — Creo que estaba con la regla, — Y tu como lo sabes? — Le meti un poco el dedo. • Le dijio que estaba con la regla, pero eso no enfrio su pasion en lo mas mmimo. • Por que esa cara, tio? Tu vieja esta con la regla? • Habia esta cosa en el suelo... una compresa que alguien habia dejado alli... la habian de- jado en el suelo del bano! • Teniamos a Darlene para empezar. Proba- blemente alguna habia sido asesinada o tenia la regla o habia tenido un ataque de histeria y esta habia sido la oportunidad para Darlene de volver a bailar sola. • Alguna vez has visto a una monja llamar a un crio 'jodida compresa'? No fue bonito. RELATED TERMS: the curse • Is it any wonder that menstruation is commonly called 'the curse'? (Saturday Review) • I forgot the damn pill and I haven' t had the curse for six weeks. (Graham Greene) • Girls used to say they had the curse. Or they had a visitor. (New Yorker) monthly flowers • You missed herpes. You mi ssed AI DS. You lucked out, f ucked out . But your period — your ' monthly flowers' as they called them in the days of Vigee-Lebrun and Adelaide Labille-Guiard, your ' per enni al vi si t or ' , your fall from the roof —is long overdue. Can you be —at f or ty-f our — pregnant? (Erica Jong) 20 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org EXERCISE 2.1 In each of the following lists, all the words are synonymous except one. Spot the odd man out and explain why the word in question is misplaced. 1. (a) turd (b) crap (c) bogey (d) doodley-squat (e) poop (f) dump 2. (a) bumf (b) barf (c) ralph (d) throw up (e) chunder (f) boke 3. (a) spunk (b) fart (c) gissum (d) shoot (e) jism (f) jizz 4. (a) slash (b) wee-wee (c) leak (d) tinkle (e) pee (f) spew 5. (a) John (b) loo (c) roaster (d) head (e) can (f) bog EXERCISE 2.2 Here are some less common idiomatic and slang terms for body functions, nine of which have been dealt with in this chapter. Try to identify the subject to which each group of synonyms and related terms refers. 1. Aunt Flo, Aunt Rosie, colly- wobbles, drip, Holy Week, Having the Painters In, jinx, monthlies, Red Sails in the Sunset, plague, red flag 2. baby food, fetch, glue, gravy, honey, hot milk, load, oyster, soap, spendings, spratz, spume, starch, tail juice, wad, white blow 3. Baby Ruth, cack, cow pucky, dead soldier, doo-doo, duty, hockey, horse dumpling, meadow dressing, night soil, plot, yackum 4. blow chow, blow chunks, call Earl, flip one's cookies, hork, pray to the porcelain goddess, ride the porcelain horse, scream at one's feet 5. back-talk, blow off, breeze, bucksnort, burnt cheese, cheezer, cut the cheese, chocolate thunder, crepitate, cut one, drop a rose, gurk, honk, anal applause, let one, Scotch warming-pan, shoot rabbits, tail shot, talk Ger- man, tee off, whiffer, winder 6. altar room, biffy, chamber of commerce, indoor plumbing, jake, leakery, marble palace, sandbox, twilight, Used Beer Depart- ment, whiz stand, whizzer 7. chamber lye, Cousin Sis, Golden Shower, Mickey Bliss, Number One, tail juice, yellow stream, zigg 8. bury a Quaker, clart, dis- patch one's cargo, grunt, lay some cable, post a letter, scumber, squat 9. bagged, broken-kneed, clucky, cocked-up, double-ribbed, full of heir, gone to seed, have one in the oven, in pod, in the pud- ding club, knocked up, on the bones, pillowed, storked, up the stick 10. burn the grass, drain the liz- ard, drain the radiator, kill a snake, let fly, pick a daisy, point Percy at the porcelain, pump ship, shake hands with an old friend, shake the dew off the lily, slack, splash, spring a leak, squeeze the lemon, syphon the python, visit Miss Murphy EXERCISE 2.3 Translate the following sentences into English. 1. Me quite la ropa, me espatarre en mitad de la cama y me tire un pedo. 2. Era la peor mamada que me habfan hecho nunca. Saco el panuelo de su bolso y escupio en el como si estuviera expectorando algo. 3. Me arrime a ella. Nos besamos. Su boca olia a vomito. 4. El bar mas cercano tenia por lo menos cincuenta anos. Apestaba a orina, mierda y vomito acumulada durante medio siglo elevanaose a traves del suelo del bar desde los retretes del sotano. 5. jMe voy a correr, Dios, me voy a correr! 6. Abrio la puerta del cagadero y entro. El lugar apestaba. Saco el pijo y empezo a mear. 7. Le dijo que estaba con la regla, pero eso no enfrio su pasidn lo mas minimo. 8. El perro comenzo a mearse. El EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 21 www.FreeLibros.org perro estaba repleto de orines. Corrio en largos y amarillos riachuelos por el suelo de la cocina. 9. — Escucha —me dijo—, cuando me hayas metido esa cosa dentro, sacalaj usto antes de correrte, de acuerdo? 10. Despues de esa cena, tuvo cagalera durante un mes. 11. Tenias que aguantar los pedos de aquellas enfermeras culigordas. 12. Finalmente me com. Entonces repose sobre ella. Estabamos los dos empapados en sudor. 13. Se puso malo y se fue al cagadero. Al vomitar, parte del vomito cayo en los zapatos y los calcetines. 14. Le voy a decir la verdad. Voy a acabar con esta mierda! 15. No se te olvide comprar un poco de papel higienico. Casi no nos queda. 16. Me fui corriendo al bano a vomitar. Trate de lavarme los dientes pero lo unico que consegui fue vomitar de nuevo. 17. La puerta estaba cerca de los lavabos. Siempre habia alguien entrando y saliendo para echar una meada. 18. De uno de los orificios de su nariz caia un casi invisible hilillo de moco que finalmente se recogfa en una pelotilla brillante. 19. Me levante y fui al bano. Tenia diarrea. Entonces me levante y me limpie, eche un vistazo a mi obra: vaya un plato! 20. Tuve que ir a echar una meada. El retrete quedaba al final del pasillo. EXERCISE 2.4 (A vice squad detective quizzes new recruits to his department on what kind of behaviour in a public toilet constitutes an offence.) 'Okay, you're in the trap, peeking through the screen and some dude walks in the John and he pulls down his jeans and there inside the underwear he carries a toothbrush and a feather. And his dick's all wrapped in rubber bands and rags to make it bulge outta his tight pants. And he sits down on the pot and reaches down in the toilet water and after he unwraps it he starts splashing cold water up on his dong. And he brushes it off with the toothbrush. Then he pulls out the feather and tickles his balls and when all this is done he's able to take a leak, which he does sitting down, and then he leaves. Any violation there?' 'None,' Baxter Slate said. 'Okay, what if there ain't no door on any a the toilets, which there ain't because the manager a this department store is trying to discourage the fruits who like to meet here and poke their cocks through glory holes and all that. Now there he is, no door, just side walls around the toilet and everybody walks in can see him, including little kids.' 'Well . . .' Baxter hesitated. 'And just to mix you boys up a little, let's say that our vice complaint which brought us here in the first place is from some lady lives near here and her kids always come use this restroom on the way home from school, and she says they got propositioned by some grown up fruits and don't her kids got no rights?' 'Well . . .' Baxter Slate hesitated. 'Sure, if the fruits didn't get a naughty kick outta doing it in public Johns because it's guilt and sin and fun and anal obsession and everything all mixed up and it ain't the same in a private room, well then we wouldn't have to come here at all. But that ain't the case and it's pretty hard to tell the lady her kids just have to put up with some dude propositioning them or blowing some other dude in front a them in the shithouse, ain't it, Harold? From The Choirboys by Joseph Wambaugh 22 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org Using what you have learned in this chapter and in the preceding exercises and what you can guess from the context, find words or phrases in the above passage corresponding to these descriptions: 1. Three words meaning toilet. 2. Three words meaning penis. 3. A word meaning testicles. 4. An expression meaning to urinate. 5. An offensive term for a male homosexual. 6. A word meaning to perform fellatio. EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 23 www.FreeLibros.org 3: S E X U A L D E S I R E 3. a the hots -deseo This term, like the others listed below, is slang, but it is not obscene or offensive. On the other hand, it is frequently used in a context where stronger language is likely to occur. * — He's a total asshole and he's got the hots for my friend A ngela and it's disgusting. — What, you'd rather he had the hots for you? (American Beauty) . A nd who in his right mind would ever have believed that E lizabeth Taylor had the hots for U ncle Hymie? (Philip R oth) * What fucking circumstances? Some faggot queer got the hots for my joint at the cartoons. (D avid Mamet) . I sweltered with lust, helpless in the throes of an alcohol-induced concupiscence known, at least in that day, by the name of 'the hangover hots'. (William S tyron) • — E s un gilipollas y esta enconado con mi amiga A ngela y es asqueroso. — Que?, £pre- ferirfas que estuviera enconado contigo? • Y quien, en su sano juicio, hubiera creido que E lizabeth Taylor estaba loca por el tio Hymie? • Que jodidas circunstancias? A lgun ma- ric6n se encono con mi polla en los dibujos animados. . Me sofoque de deseo, aperdido en los espas- mos de una concupiscencia provocada por el alcohol, conocido al menos en ese dia, por el nombre de 'resacon calenton'. S YN O N YMS : hot pants • 'My wife's in S taten I sland,' he told Converse. 'S he's got hot pants for this guy twice her age. A guy that owned a res- taurant out there.' (R obert S tone) lech, letch The act of leching. • Many so-called Platoni c friendships are merely one-way leches. (S unday Times) • U ntil this instant, hoping against hope, S ophie had said to herself that the woman's advances just might be innocuous, but now, so close, the signs of her voracious letch — first her rapid breathing and then the ripe rosiness spreading like a rash over the bestially handsome face — left no doubt about her in- tentions. (William S tyron) perve (A ustr) U sually followed by at or on, meaning to ogle. • S he's a cheap thrill machine for the boys to stare at and perve on. (Barry O sworth) the eye, the glad eye • He'd say: 'D o you fancy hi m?' A nd of course I 'd say: 'Who?' A nd he'd say: 'The guy you've been giving the eye to.' A nd I 'd say: 'O h for Christ's sake, can't I even look at a man without you throwing a fucking fit?' (E .A . Whitehead) • I do see her giving the glad eye to Pete. (A ldous Huxley) 3. b horny -cahente, cachondo • What's the legal definition of 'obscene'. To be obscene, I must stimulate you sexually. That's what obscene is — the prurient interest: if I get you horny. (L enny Brace) • I returned S ophie's squeeze with the clumsy pressure of unrequited love, and realized as I did so that I was so horny my balls had begun to ache. (William S tyron) es la definieion legal de 'obsceno'? Para ser obsceno, tengo que estimularte sexualmente. E so es lo que es obsceno — el interes lascivo: si yo te pongo cachondo. . D evolvi el apreton de Sophie con la presion torpe del amor no correspondido, y me di cuenta al hacerlo que estaba tan cachondo que mis huevos me habian empezado a doler. 24 E l I ngles Prohibido E D I TO R I A L S TA N L E Y www.FreeLibros.org • He touched her cheek. 'You are a gorgeous- lookin' piece, Cass. Gets a guy all horny just lookin' at you.' (James Leo Herlihy) • He was feeling so horny he decided to take the rest of the day off, cruise down the Sunset Strip, and maybe find a cute thirty-dollar hooker who could suck the batteries out of a flashlight. (Joseph Wambaugh) • Toc6 su mejilla. 'Eres una pieza esplendida, Cass. Uno se pone todo cachondo con solo mirarte.' • Se sentia tan cachondo que decidio tomarse el resto del dia libre, pasar por la zona de Sunset Strip, y quizas encontrar una prostitu- ta de treinta dolares que pudiese sacar las pi- las de una linterna a chupetazos. SYN O N YM S: cunt-struck I nfatuated with women. • I like Van N orden but I do not share his opinion of himself. I do not agree, for ex- ample, that he is a philosopher, or a thinker. He is cunt-struck, that's all. (Henry M iller) • We were all helplessly and hope- lessly cunt-struck, a vulgar but forcibly accurate expression. (Frank Sargeson) hot • I had a married woman the other day who told me she hadn't had a lay for six months. Can you imagine that? Jesus, she was hot! I thought she'd tear the cock off me. (Henry M iller) • He told me intimate details about Abigail's body and specif- ics about their sex life, highly personal things... M aybe he was just an open guy, but sometimes it seemed like he was bragging — he wanted me to believe that she was hot. (Hank Hyena) randy • She had the rags up. The best time of all! Women are always at their randiest during a period. (E.A. Whitehead) • Any- way, after he'd given my tits the required amount of kneading, he'd get really randy and put his hand on my knee, which was the signal for me to open my legs. (E.A. Whitehead) • Do you re- member Corporal Pratt that we knew in Iceland? I remember him, the randy cunt. (Peter N ichols) • These characters seemed bland compared with such a memorable creation as Jack N icholson's randy Daryl Van Home (geddit?) in The Witches of Eastwick.' (Guardian) randy-arsed • There he was, festooned by beefy, randy- arsed wives crying out for a length. (H.C. Rae) • Hard though it may be for randy-arsed adver- tisers to understand, for many people sex just isn't that im- portant. (Guardian) turned-on The verb is to turn somebody on. • I don't see any chicks that turn me on any more. Here's how I know I'm getting old — I haven't seen any girls that re- ally stimulate me, that look good to me. (Lenny Bruce) • — Sam, do you wanna come over here and make love to me? — N o, I'd rather have a wet dream. — Well then go up on Hollywood Boul- evard and pick yourself up a queer if I can't turn you on, you cocksucker! (Joseph Wambaugh) 3. c chat up -hgar, enrrollarse con To chat someone up is to engage in flirtatious conversation with that person and usually to make sexual advances. Although neither obscene nor offensive, the term and its synonyms are included here for the sake of completeness. * (UK) — Even now most men seem to think they've got to feel you up before they fuck you. — Yeah, I've often thought how nice it would be if a bloke would walk into my place and fuck me and walk out again without chatting me up or saying anything. Skip all the bullshit. (E.A. Whitehead) . — Incluso ahora la mayoria de los hombres parecen creer que tienen que meterte mano an- tes de follarte. — Si, con frecuencia he pen- sado que agradable seria si un tio entrara en casa, me follara y se largara sin enrollarse ni decir nada. Pasar de toda esa mierda. EDITO RIAL STAN LEY El Ingles Prohibido 25 www.FreeLibros.org * (UK) I got a drink, looked around, and then I went and sat next to the least repellent male in there, I chatted him up and then I took him back to the house. (E,A. Whitehead) . (UK) You know the way some men will chat you up and then, hand on heart, they say: 'There's something I must tell you... I'm married.' (E.A. Whitehead) • Fui a por un trago, eche un vistazo, y me fui a sentar al lado del varen menos repelente del lugar. Nos enrollamos y entonces le lleve a casa. . Ya sabes la forma en que los hombres se en- rollan y entonces, con la mano en el eorazon, dicen: 'Hay algo que te tengo que deck... es- toy casado.' RELATED TERMS: be all over To display exces- sive familiarity or affection to- wards someone. • I found the continental practice of kissing on both cheeks, often several times, in public, particularly re- pellent. Tom Reagan knew this only too well, yet each time we met he was all over me with slabbers and smiles and secre- tive whispers. (Gabriella T. Oldfield) get off with • I hovered indeci- sively, then started to sidle away, at which point Simon said in an irritated superior voice (one you, funnily enough, never hear him use when he is trying to get off with you by the photocopier), 'Did you want something, Bridget?' (Helen Fielding) • The basis of my own addiction (to Pride and Prejudice) is my simple human need for Darcy to get off with Elizabeth. (Helen Fielding) make a pass To make an amo- rous advance. • Men seldom make passes / At girls who wear glasses. (Dorothy Parker) • I've discussed the lack of a sex life with my husband, who admits it's psychological, and I tell him that I cannot be sure what I'll do if someone were to make a pass at me, given my state. I'd like to be reckless and do some- thing exciting. (Garrison Keillor) • I made a direct pass at Leslie as soon as we were back inside the front door, insinuating my arm around her waist, but she man- aged to slip away with a tinkly little laugh. (William Styron) pick up To form a casual friend- ship with a view to sexual inter- course. • This is someone whom I picked up off the street! Who sucked me off before she even knew my name! (Philip Roth) • It took me a while to realise exactly what was happening. There I was thinking he wanted to hear my views on Proust, while all the time the bastard was only trying to pick me up. (Gabriella T. Oldfield) pull (UK) To pick up a sexual partner. • A handsome well-built lad like you, I shouldn't think you'd have any problem pulling the birds. If you were that way inclined. (Alan Beretta) put the make on (US) King Farouk, I read, he'd pull into some small town, Dubuque, Peoria... he'd go put the make on some waitress. So after work, they'd all go back to her place and start making it. (David Mamet) 3. d I fool around -tener enredos One meaning of the verb to fool around is to engage in aimless or irresponsible behaviour; another is to engage in casual sexual relations, usually extra-marital. This may cause some confusion. On the other hand, the synonyms are unambiguous. • While I was away, some friends took Danny to a party. A platonic female friend drove him home. They ended up fooling around on the couch, although they didn't go Very far. (Salon) . Mientras estuve fuera, algunos amigos lle- varon a Danny a una fiesta. Una amiga platonica le llevo a casa. Terminaron enro- llandose en el sofa, aunque no llegaron muy lejos. 26 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org * There are plenty of people who've strayed in their own marriages and know that it's still possible to love your spouse... But even those people still feel a need to maintain the expected public stance that holds that good people just don't fool around. (Salon) . "Sexual relations means sexual intercourse,' said Lewinsky. 'We were just fooling around, Linda, just fooling around.' (Salon) . — You said you only had sex with three different guys; you never mentioned him! — Because I never had sex with him. — You sucked his dick! — We went out a few times. We never had sex but we fooled around. (Clerks) . Eric, my ex-lover, told me about this straight guy, Johnny, who was an adorable, outrageous flirt. He invited Johnny over for a few beers. Johnny got drank. They started fooling around. (Greg Nott) . You like having balls? Ask yourself that question before you ever start cheating on me, fooling around with some floozie. (Bernadette Share) • Hay mucha gente que se ha distanciado en sus matrimonios y saben que, aun asi, es po- sible querer a su conyuge... Pero incluso esa gente siente aun la necesidad de mantener la aceptada postura publica que insiste en que la gente buena no se Ma con otros. • 'Relaciones sexuales significa, el coito,' dijo Lewinsky. 'Solo esta bamos jugueteando, Lin- da, solo jugueteando.' • — Dijistes que solo te habias tirado a tres tios distmtos; jnunca le mencionaste a e1! — Por- que nunca me lo tire. — Le chupaste la po- lla! — Salimos unas cuantas veces. Nunca nos acostamos, pero jugueteamos. • Eric, mi ex-amante, me hablo de este tio he- terosexual, Johnny, que era adorable, le en- cantaba flirtear. Invito a Johnny a tomar unas cervezas. Johnny se emborracbo, Empezaron a enrollarse. • Te gusta tener huevos? Hazte esa pregunta antes de que se te ocurra empezar a ponerme los cueraos con alguna zorra. SYNO NYMS: put out (US) O f a woman who is sexually available, often fol- lowed by for. • At Coney Island that day I thought she was go- ing to eat you up. And now you tell me it all went flooey. What's the matter? I can't believe she woul dn' t put out. (Wi lli am Styron) • ' Southern gi rls,' I added, thinking grimly of Mary Alice Grimball, 'are tough to penetrate, if you' ll excuse the phrase, but once they decide to put out, they're awfully sweet in the sack.' (William Styron) screw around To be promiscu- ous, have many sexual partners. • A sex activist defends the right of gay men — and everybody else — to screw around. (Salon) • Gary Kamiya, in his apology for Cli nton' s wild horni ness, states, 'Men who cheat at golf, lie to their friends and screw around can be first-rate world leaders.' (Salon) • Apparently, screwing around is acceptable for men, but not for women. (Salon) • — What did you do with your youth? — Stayed out late, smoked pot, screwed around. — Not your grade school years; your high school years. (Chasing Amy) sleep around • 'In the '60s, everyone was hopping in and out of each other' s bed. The rule then was, if you di dn' t sleep around, you were up- tight... but it' s not prudent to sleep around with many men nowadays.' She glanced at me sidewise. 'I hope I don' t have to tell you t hat . ' (Court ney Weaver) swing O ften applied specifi- cally to engaging in group sex, partner-swapping, etc. • Chris- t i ans who revere t radi t i onal scriptural teaching are ignorant rubes. If you don' t swing with the sodomites these days, you're nowheresvi lle with the A-list crowd. (Sal on) • St ephani e managed t o break i nt o t he locked basement apar t ment agai n and thi s time f ound a swinger's magazine with a cer- tain page clipped. The swing- ing couple on that page were offering to share themselves with any other congenial cou- ple who might write to their post offi ce box. ( Joseph Wambaugh) EDITO RIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 27 www.FreeLibros.org 3. e I stud -semental A man of great sexual prowess, or reputedly of great sexual prowess, by analogy with stallions kept for breeding. Related terms listed below refer to men considered simply as sexual objects. • You treat me like your gigolo, not your man. No wonder I feel like a pimp, like a stud, like a fucking consort. (Erica Jong) • You've got it in your head that Alyssa's not really into chicks — that she just hasn't met the right man. And you believe you're it. You're going to treat her right, fuck her like a stud, and 'strait-jacket' her back from the land of the lost. (Chasing Amy) • Ron Jeremy is the world's most famous male porn star. He's 43 years old, 5-foot-7 and a slice of cheesecake away from 200 pounds. He's also as hairy as a Qua Pet. A stereotypical stud, Ron Jeremy is not. (Salon) • What a flourishing business for busy creative women! AIDS-tested studs for the creative woman (or the busy executive) who doesn't want to get involved. But of course it would never work. Most women don't want studs, AIDS- tested or not — they want love. (Erica Jong) • Me tratas como si fuera tu gigolo, y no como hombre. No es de extrafiar que me sienta como un chulo, como un semental, como un jodido consorte. • Se te ha metido en la cabeza que a Alyssa realmente no le van los tios - que es solo por- que no ha conocido al hombre adecuado. Y tu te crees que si lo eres. La vas a tratar bien, follarla como un cabron, y traerla de golpe de vuelta de la tierra de las perdidas. • Ron Jeremy es la estrella masculina del porno mas famosa del mundo. Tiene 43 anos, mide 170 centimetros, y le falta un pelo para llegar a las 95 kilos. Es tan peludo como un oso. Ron Jeremy no es exactamente el tipico semental. • Que negocio mas prospero para empresa- rias creativas! Sementales garantizados de es- tar libres de sida para la mujer creativa (o para la ejecutiva ocupada). La mayoria de las mu- jeres no quieren sementales, con garantia anti- sida o sin ella — quieren amor. RELATED TERMS: hunk • 'What a hunk!' She ran her claws down the big cop's chest, raking the plunging ny- lon shirt. (Joseph Wambaugh) • It' s Gwynet h' s private life that has women most curious. After all, she's burrowed into the bri efs of our era' s most hungered-aft er hunks. (Hank Hyena) toy boy Applied to a woman' s much younger male lover. • Amer i c ans i magi ne t hat Mexican drug lords have in- fec ted t hei r i nnoc ent t eens. This view, I think, has led re- cently to a gringo romanticism for Latin toy boys, apparent in the sudden popularity of Ricki Martin. (Salon) wet dream See also 3.j below. • I was crazy about this guy. Tall, slim, long hair, blazing blue eyes... a wet dream walk- ing. (E.A. Whitehead) 3. f hard-on -erection • Amidst these flushed and giggling girls... I am so awed that I am in a state of desire beyond a hard-on. My circumcised little dong is simply shriveled up with veneration. (Philip Roth) • Entre estas sofocadas y alegres muchachas... estoy tan atemorizado que me hallo en un es- tado de deseo que se situa mas alla de la erec- ci6n. Mi circunciso pene esta simplemente, encogido de veneracion. 28 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org « But who wins an argument with a hard-on? ... Know that famous proverb? When the prick stands up, the brains get buried in the ground! When the prick stands up, the brains are as good as dead! (Philip Roth) » God has a hard-on for marines because we kill everything we see! He plays His games, we play ours! (Full Metal Jacket) • But of course I couldn't... I rolled off of her and came to rest, defeated, against the wall — on my back. 'It's no good,' I said, 'I can't get a hard-on in this place.' (Philip Roth) • Quickly, quickly, quickly! Do you feel dizzy? Do you feel faint? Jesus H. Christ, I think you've got a hard-on! (Full Metal Jacket) • 'I gotta try me some of that,' said an old guy down at the end of the bar. 'I haven't had a hard-on since Teddy Roosevelt took his last hill.' (Charles Bukowski) • Pero £quien gana una discusi6n con una pi- cha tiesa? Conoces ese famoso proverbio? jCuando la polla se levanta, el cerebro queda sepultado en el suelo! jCuando la polla se yer- gue, el cerebro esta eomo muerto! • Dios lo tiene dificil con los marines porque matamos a todo el que vemos! jEl juega a sus juegos, nosotros a los nuestros! • Pero, naturalmente, no pude... Me separe de ella derrotado y apoye la espalda contra la pa- red. —Es imttil —dije—. No se me puede en- derezar en este lugar. • Rapido, rapido, rapido! Te sientes marea- do? Te vas a desmayar? Jestis, creo que se te ha puesto dura! • 'Voy a darme el gusto de probarlo,' dijo un viejo desde el fondo del bar. 'No se me ha puesto dura desde que Teddy Roosevelt tomo su ultima colina.' S Y NO NY MS : blue veiner • He had f inally managed to get a dance with Ida Keely, a cute communications operator with eyes like a deer. He had a blue veiner even be- fore the song began. (Joseph Wambaugh) • I think I'm getting impotent. I haven' t awakened one morning in the past week with a diamond cutter. O r even a blue veiner. (Joseph Wambaugh) bone, boner • In the classroom I somet imes set mysel f con- sciously to think about death and hospitals and horrible automo- bile accidents in the hope that such grave thoughts will cause my boner to recede before the bell rings and I have to stand. (Philip Roth) horn • Tills became amorous again in about fifteen minutes. I got the horn. But I didn't really want to be bothered doing much. (Joe O rton) ramrod • There's just a crack there between her legs and you get all steamed up about it — you don't even look at it half the time. Y ou know it's there and all you think about is getting your ramrod inside: it' s as t hough your penis did the thinking for you. (Henry Miller) rise Usually in the expression to get a rise. • — Have you fucked S ue? What was it like? — It was okay, only I couldn't get a proper rise. (Martin Amis) stand • Labri was lying on the bed naked, pl ayi ng wit h his cock, whi ch was complet ely limp. 'He hasn't been able to get a ha r d- on! ' Kennet h said in terms of the utmost disapproval. 'A fifteen-year-old boy and he can't get a stand on. It's abso- lutely shameful.' (Joe O rton) 3. g babe -bombon, ninfa The following terms, denoting a sexually attractive woman, are neither obscene nor offensive. They may be contrasted in this respect with the terms in 3.h below. • Ray Bones sits on a boat with his boss, Jimmy Cap, and two bikini-clad babes, both of whom rub lotion on Jimmy. (Get Shorty) » Ray Bones se sienta en el barco con su jefe, Jimmy Cap, y con dos tias buenas en bikini, las cuales frotan a Jimmy con crema. EDITO RIAL S TANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 29 www.FreeLibros.org • Paradoxically, while the US was churning out the ditsy, vulnerable Californian pale babe as the American dream, the German Nazis were also extolling the purity of the blonde as the Aryan ideal. (Guardian) • Meanwhile the fanfare around the blond chick has increased. — 'Who are you? And why is everyone taking your picture?' -'I'm the new Baywatch babe. Brooke Burns.' (Salon) • Greg's dorm room: a shrine to hot babes, whose posters adorn the walls. (Cruel Intentions) • Just look at how hot all the sci-fi babes are in their clingy jumpsuits. (Salon) • Paradojicamente, mientras que los Estados Unidos promocionaba la tipica californiana pa- lida tonta como el prototipo del sueno america- no, los nazis alemanes tambien estaban alabando la pureza de la rubia como el ideal ario. • Mientras tanto, la fanfarria alrededor de la tia rubia ha subido de tono. — ' Quien eres? Y por que todos te estan haciendo fotos?' — 'Soy la nueva tia buena de Vigilantes de la play a. Brooke Burns.' • La habitaci6n del colegio mayor de Greg: un santuario dedicado a las tias buenas, cu- yos posters adornan las paredes. • Mira que buenas estan todas las ninfas que hacen ciencia ficcion con sus monos apre- tados. SYNONYMS bit of all right (UK) Haven't you seen Colin's missis, then. Came down here the other day. She's a bit of all right, I can tell you. She got a right few stares. (Alan Beretta) dolly, dollybird (UK) Most of the blokes are married... You oughta hear the crap they come out with. 'What's a lovely dolly like you doing slaving away in an office?' Translation: 'Wanna fuck?' (E.A. Whitehead) fox (US) • It was Cassius Clay, as he then called himself, ac- compani ed by two gorgeous foxes. (Sporting News) • He knows what happens when a cute-looking fox gets loose in an urban kitchen and the true value of a hooker's heart of gold. (New York Times) stunner Not to be outdone, CBI director general Adair Turner strode up to a real stunner in tight trousers and was soon en- gaged in a passionate embrace but media interest waned on i de nt i f i c a t i on of t he l ucky lady. Mrs Turner. (Guardian) 3. h a piece of ass -unpolvo This is an American usage, understood in the UK but not imitated. One does not speak of a piece of arse. As the following terms refer to women considered strictly as sexual objects, individually or collectively, they may all be considered more or less objectionable. Some of the terms are more specific than others. •You're why I'm killing myself to be something more than just somebody's dumb and stupid piece of ass! And now you want to treat me like I'm nothing but just some hump, to use — use for every kinky weirdo thing you want to do. (Philip Roth) * She was beautiful! She was young! She was innocent! She was the greatest piece of ass I've ever had, and I've had 'em all over the world! (The Godfather) • jTu eres la razon por la cual me estoy ma- tando para ser algo mas que el culo tonto y estiSpido de alguien! Y ahora quieres tratarme como si no fuera mas que un ligue, de usar y tirar — usar para las cosas mas estrafalarias y cachondas que se te ocurran. . Erahermosa! Erajoven! jErainocente! Era el mejor culo que habia tenido, ;y los he teni- do por todo el mundo! 30 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org • 'He said I was a wonderful piece of ass,' she announced nostalgically, and shortly after this, told me, 'We used to love to fuck in front of mirrors,' (William Styron) • Hello, poor white trash! How'd you like a piece of ass, poor white trash? (Charles Bukowski) • 'Dijo que era un polvo estupendo,' anuncid nostalgicamente, y al poco rato, me dijo, 'Nos encantaba foliar delante de espejos.' • jHola, basurita blanca! Te gustaria catar un buen culo, basurita blanca? RELATED TERMS: ass Used to describe women collectively as objects of sexual desire. • Then he comes back from the Army and all he cares about is chasi ng ass. (John Updike) bimbo Usually, a sexually at- tractive young woman of limited intelligence; sometimes, a pros- titute. • Sexual infidelity is not the worst thing in the world. Let Dart fuck bimbos, as long as he al ways comes home to me. (Erica Jong) • Do you know a lit- tle bimbo called June? A nutty- looking little bl onde? (Robert Stone) bike Short for bicycle. • All I knew about her was what Ivor had told me, that she was the of- fice bike, that every man in the place had ridden the arse off her. (Alice Chapman) chippy • Momma, Poppa, this is my wife, the chippy. Isn't she a wild piece of ass? (Philip Roth) crumpet Oh, young man like you, soccer star and all that... shouldn't think you'd go short of crumpet? (E.A. Whitehead) floozie, floozy • She never had what it takes to be a call girl like you — so getting control of your mind was her revenge. Janelle's just a puffed up bridge-and-tun- nel floozy who thinks she knows something about human psy- chology because she has a CSW. (Salon) • I had yet to witness a woman entirely unclothed — and this includes the old floozy in Charl otte who wore a stained and malodorous shift throughout the whole proceeding. (William Styron) fuck • You're a lousy fuck. Your friend, Joan, is a better fuck than you are... and she's a lousy fuck. (David Mamet) jailbait Used of a girl who is too young to have sex with le- gal l y. • The next year t hey drifted to Paris, where Farina fell in love with Mimi Baez, a l ovel y piece of 15-year -ol d jailbait. Farina would eventually divorce his wife. (Salon) lay • Didn't even say Au revoir Walks off swinging her hat and humming to herself like. That's a whor e for you! A good lay though. (Henry Miller) • He had had many a lay but never had a more exciting sexual experience than scrubbing and lathering the rice paddy whores. Even now he got a blue veiner every time he hel d a bar of soap. (Joseph Wambaugh) • She's the girl you used to go around with in col- lege? She's a good lay. (William Gaddis) man-eater A sexually voracious woman. • This chick, Elois, was a man-eater-upper. I bet every guy who' s ever met her has jacked off to her at least once. (Reservoir Dogs) nympho A sexually voracious woman. • — It is a male myth about feminists that we hate sex. Unf or tunatel y there are some people (it is called satyriasis in men, nymphomania in women) who engage in it compulsively and wi t ho u t j oy. — Li st en, Maude, I'm sorry if your step- mother is a nympho, but I don't see what it has to do with me. (The Big Lebowski) • I suppose you t hi nk I' m some k i nd of nympho? I don't want to be too statistical about it, but I am thirty-eight and I've only fucked seven men. (E.A. Whitehead) pussy • Mexico, that's a good place. They got that good pussy down there. (Robert Stone) • Man, didn' t we have a good time tonight? You rode in my car. I showed you a good cat house, al l t hat sweet bl ack pussy. Ain't we friends? (David Rabe) • Let's talk about pussy. Did you get l aid l ast ni ght ? (James Ellroy) root (Austr) • Johnny Bickel thought she'd be an easy root and began to take notice of her. (Donald Ireland) screw • As a matter of fact, she isn't such a great screw, but at least she doesn't nag me day and night, the way you do. (Alice Chapman) scrubber (UK) • — I didn't care if he screwed the odd scrubber now and again. It meant nothing to me. I coul d stand it if he could. But he couldn't. He let it go to his head. — He's a roman- tic. (E.A. Whitehead) slag • He managed to get Judge James Pickles to admit that if EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 31 www.FreeLibros.org you murdered someone and then said 'it was because he called my mum a slag' you would prob- ably get away with manslaugh- ter. (Guardian) spare • I got the impression Maurice was on the look-out for a bit of spare. Some of the girls we get in here don't leave much to the i magi nat i on. (Roger Busby) swinger Often applied specifi- cally to someone who partici- pates in group sex, par t ner - swapping, etc. • I been associ- ated with a guy. He's English, he used to be a masseur. He's got a bunch of goofs he works — swingers, whip freaks, far-out shit like that. (Robert Stone) • Some operators have converted nudist colonies into ' swinger camps' , the new rural retreats for the randy. (Time) tail Often used in the expressions a bit of tail and a piece of tail. • Where's all the tail today? No Hermi one, no Bunt y, no Christabel? (Jeremy Potter) • Him and four buddies want a little dough to get a high class piece of tail. (George V. Higgins) tart • What interested me was the Moroccan girl and her girl- friend. They were behaving ex- actly like English tarts in the for- ties. (Joe Orton) • 'Confounded whore!' he suddenly bellowed, in a voice which nearly blew me from my seat. 'Slut! Malicious tart!' (Akbar del Piombo) tramp • Yeah, I remember her. Song and dance. Nice legs and generous with 'em. She went off somewheres. How would I know what them t r amps do? (Raymond Chandler) trim • I know what you need. A little trim. (Joseph Wambaugh) 3. i cockteaser -calientapollas • In front of me was a well-groomed woman reading a paper. Her dress was up around her thighs. She crossed her legs and her dress mo- ved up even higher. The goddamned cockteaser, I'd give her a hundred strokes, I'd give her seven-and-a-half inches of throbbing purple! (Charles Bukowski) • Delante mio habia una mujer de muy buena catadura leyendo un peri6dico. Su vestido le quedaba bastante por encima de los musios. Cruzo sus piernas y el vestido subio aun mas. Maldita calientapollas, le daria un centenar de embestidas. jLe darfa veinticinco centfmetros de purpura palpitante! SYNONYMS: prickteaser — Did you get your hole? — No. — Never mind, mate. Not worth torturing your- self. You know what they are? They're j ust a couple of prick- teasers. (E.A. Whitehead) 3. j wet dream -sueno humedo • Adolescence brought the same fevered fantasies and wet dreams everyone experiences, but by that time I suppose my attitude was set — if I thought about masturbation at all, it was only as something other, icky little boys did. (Salon) * I know it's a cliche to say that films are like dreams — like a collective unconscious. There are horror movies which are like nightmares, and then there are dirty movies like Deep • La adolescencia trajo las mismas fantasias febriles y suenos humedos que todo el mundo siente, pero para entonces supongo que mi ac- titud ya estaba fijada - si es que llegaba a pen- sar en la rnasturbacion, solo era como algo asqueroso que hacian los otros chicos. • Ya Se que es un topico decir que las pelicu- las son como los suenos - como una sub- conciencia colectiva. Hay peliculas de terror que son como pesadillas, y luego hay pelfcu- 32 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org Throat and Emmanuelle which are like wet dreams. (Jonathan Coe) * It was suddenly as if my life were taking place in the middle of a wet dream. There I was, going down at last on the star of all those pornographic films that I had been producing in my head since I first laid a hand upon my own joint. (Philip Roth) las guarras como Gargania profunda y Emmanuelle que son como suenos humedos. • Era, de pronto, como si mi vida se desarrollara en medio de un sueno humedo. Alli estaba yo, convertido al fin en el protagonista de to- das aquellas pellculas pornograficas que habia estado produciendo en mi cabeza des- de que puse por primera vez la mano sobre mi propia polla. EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 33 www.FreeLibros.org EXERCISE In each of the following lists, all the words are synonymous except one. Spot the odd man out and explain why the word in question is misplaced. 1. (a) boner (b) stand (c) horn (d) stud (e) ramrod (f) blue veiner 2. (a) turned-on (b) randy (c) randy-arsed (d) hot (e) dolly (f) cunt-struck 3. (a) lay (b) man-eater (c) nympho (d) tart (e) bimbo (f) stunner 4. (a) crumpet (b) wet dream (c) toy boy (d) hunk (e) stud 5. (a) the hots (b) jailbait (c) hot pants (d) lech (e) the glad eye (f) perve EXERCISE 3.2 Here are some less common idiomatic and slang terms for body functions, nine of which have been dealt with in this chapter. Try to identify the subject to which each group of synonyms and related terms refers. 1. alley cat, bangster, bed bunny, calico queen, easy meat, free-for-all, goober grabber, grassback, grind, high flyer, hobby horse, hot number, hot stuff, Miss Horner, nestlecock, piece of stray, push-over, roundheel, scupper, shagstress, slot-job 2. burgeoning truncheon, Cap- tain Standish, chubby, flag- pole, Irish toothache, morn- ing pride, Proud Mary, rock python, spike, stalk, stand- up, stiff, stiffer, Steely Dan, throbber, woody 3. brimming, bulging, drip- ping for it, frisky, gamy, humpy, in the mood, juiced up, juicy, lathered, moist, motor running, on for one's greens, oncom- ing, pruney, rammish, rooty, ruttish, wet 4. animal, basher, bed-presser, belly bumper, Bluebeard, chimney sweep, cock hound, cocksman, cocksmith, eager beaver, fleece hunter, flesh fly, hair monger, headhunter, make- out artist, Mr Horner, pinch- bottom, rooster, rutter, sexpert, sharpshooter, sportsman, stallion, swords- man, woodman EXERCISE 3.3 Translate the following sentences into English. 1. Ron Jeremy no es exactamente el tipico semental. 2. A menudo he pensado que agradable seria si un tio entrara en casa, me follara y se largara sin enrollarse ni decir nada. 3. Me quite los pantalones y empece a besarla. Se me empalmo rapidamente. 4. Esta enconado con mi amiga, es asqueroso. 5. Mira que buenas estan todas las ninfas de sciencia ficcion con sus monos apretados. 6. Salimos unas cuantas veces. Nunca nos acostamos, pero jugueteamos. 7. Cruzo sus piernas y el vestido se retrayo mas aun. La maldita calientapollas! 8. No hables asi, me estas poniendo cachonda. 9. jEra hermosa! j Era joven! Era inocente! Era la mejor culo que habia tenido en mi vida! 10. No se me ha puesto dura desde hace siglos. 11. ; Un hijo de puta intento ligarseme! (Era de lo mas grosero! jRealmente odio a esos tipos! jSon repugnantes! 12. Hay peliculas guarras como Garganta profunda que son como suenos humedos. 13. Era excitante. Me senti como si estuviese siendo violado. Se me empezo a empalmar la polla. 14. Quien en su sano juicio hubiera creido que ella estaba loca por el ? 15. Relaciones sexuales significa el coito. Solo estabamos jugueteando. 16. — Clara me engana. — Que quieres decir? — Que mi mujer se acuesta con otros. 17. Era, de pronto, como si mi vida estuviera desenvolviendo en medio de una polucion nocturna. 18. Pude ver aquellas largas piernas, las rodillas, los delicados tobillos. Empece a ponerme cachondo. 19. 'Dijo que tenia un culo estupendo,' anuncio Laura nostalgicamente. 20. La escuche respirar fuertemente, luego gemir. Me excitaba. Se me empal- mo. 34 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY 3.1 www.FreeLibros.org EXERCISE 3.4 (Several women are reminiscing about their sexual experiences. One of them tells how she reacted to being abandoned by her husband.) When Edward walked out on me I was desperate. I mean, I was a fucking housewife, had no job, no friends, no contact with anyone. Completely isolated. And I was so angry and humiliated that I was determined to get myself fucked by the first man I could. But could I? I couldn't even meet a man. I mean, I wasn't invited out, the other wives I knew treated me as if I was a fucking leper or something. So finally I had to force myself to go and sit in a pub. I got a drink, looked around, and then I went and sat next to the least repellent male in there. I chatted him up and then I took him back to the house. I'd got everything ready in advance... I'd left the kids at my mother's so we had the place to ourselves ... and we sat on the couch and started snogging. Well... I don't know if it was all the snogging or what but I chickened out. I told him I couldn't make it... because I knew he thought I was on the game. Somehow that thought turned me right off. I said maybe if we could meet again I might feel different, might feel better then. You know what he said? He said he couldn't make assignations because then he'd feel like he was betraying his wife but if he banged me on the spot then he wouldn't feel so bad about it! What a fucking hypocrite! I told him to bugger off. Then he asked me... well, if I wouldn't fuck, could he lick me out and wank himself off? That shook me... I'd never heard of anything like that before! I mean, Edward had never been really hot at sex, and what he had done had always been pretty conventional... he was playing the good Catholic boy, of course... but anyway I was curious so I told this bastard to go right on with it. You know what he said? He said, 'OK, you go and wash it.' Wash it! Christ, it was all right to stick his dick in me but not his precious tongue! But I was stupid enough to trot to the bathroom and do it! After he' d gone I could have kicked myself. There was come all over the couch and I could never get rid of the stains. From the play Old Flames by E.A. Whitehead Using what you have learned in this chapter and in the preceding exercises and what you can guess from the context, find words or phrases in the above passage corresponding to these descriptions: 1. A deprecatory adjective used for negative emphasis but with no particular meaning. 2. A verb meaning to have sexual intercourse, to perform the sex act. 3. A verb meaning to engage in flirtatious conversation with a person and usually to make sexual advances. 4. A verb meaning to kiss and caress. 5. An adverbial phrase which means engaged in prostitution. 6. A verb meaning to have sexual intercourse with a woman. 7. A phrasal verb meaning to leave, depart, go away. 8. A phrasal verb meaning to perform cunnilingus. 9. A verb meaning to masturbate. 10. A deprecatory term which can be used of any male. 11. A word which means penis. 12. A word which means semen. EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 35 www.FreeLibros.org 4: S E X U A L A C T I V I T Y 4. a grope -magrear Used as a verb, the word refers to fondling or attempting to fondle someone's genitals or a woman's breasts. As a noun, it refers to foreplay involving manual stimulation of the genitals. • Diana Ross' reaction to an alleged mid-frisk breast brush by a female security guard at L ondon's Heathrow A irport was to grope the grabby gal right back and sweetly inquire, 'How do you like it?' (S alon) * What? No lustful gallants eager to give you your first experience? Y our first tender, never- to-be-forgotten grope? (E .A . Whitehead) . Willey had come directly to her home after a November 1996 meeting with C linton, 'upset and humiliated' , allegedly because the president had 'groped' her. (S alon) • Y ou're jammed into the crowd with no way out and all the time the men are staring at you and pressing against you. T heir hands are all over you. Oh, not the I talian pinch on the bottom, I mean they're really feeling your body and squeezing and groping at you. (E .A . Whitehead) • L a reaccion de Diana Ross hacia la supues- ta rozadura de pecho en pleno cacheo por par- te de una encargada de seguridad en el aeropuerto de Heathrow en L ondres fue la de meterle mano y preguntarle con dulzura, T e gusta?' • Que? No hubo ningun galan lujurioso an- sioso de proporcionarte tu primera experien- cia? £T u primera tierna, e inolvidable, metida de mano? • Willey habia venido directamente a su casa tras una reunion en noviembre de 1996 con C linton, 'disgustada y humillada', al parecer porque el presidente le habia 'metido mano'. • E stas atascada en medio de la multitud sin poder salir y los hombres no paran de mirarte y achucharte. S us manos estan por todo tu cuerpo. Oh, no merefiero al tipico pellizco ita- liano en el culo, sino a que estan tocandote de verdad, apretujandose contra ti, y metiendote rnano. RELATED TERMS: The following words denote different degrees of amorous engagement, or different stages of foreplay, from the relatively innocent (neck, footsie, smooch) to the more intense (dryhump, finger-fuck). canoodle (U S ) T o kiss and cud- dle. • One year I lived in a com- mune where I loved and slept with two men, both T eamsters, one of whom worked the day shift while the other worked nights. I canoodled with C ary on the sofa for a couple hours in the after- noon, and with Marcus during the night. (S usie Bright) dryhump, dryfuck (U S ) T o ap- proximate the sex act without pen- etration or divestiture, and (so the term implies) without orgasm. • S he was raised in this house. T he girl who has let me undo her bras- siere and dryhump her at the dor- mitory door, grew up in this white house. (Philip Roth) feel up T o fondle someone's genitals. • He literally bumped into Ziggy feeling up the pretti- est girl at the party in a dark damp corner. (Mordecai Richler) fingerfuck, fingerbang T o insert a finger or fingers in the vulva. • I was a guest at A ly Khan's for dinner when you were still back in Newark, New Jersey, finger- fucking your little Jewish girl friends! (Philip Roth) • S he wants you to fingerfuck her shikse cunt till she faints. (Philip Roth) • Y our days of fin- ger-bangi ng ol d Mary Jane Rottencrotch through her pretty pink pant i es are over! (Full Metal Jacket) footsie A morous and clandes- tine play with the feet. Nearly always in the expression to play footsie. Often used figuratively, 36 E l I ngles Prohibido E DI T ORI A L S T A NL E Y www.FreeLibros.org as in the second example. • I played footsie with her during Don Jose' s first seduction by Carmen. (George Fowler) • Why don't you admit it, Irma? You played footsie with the SS, didn't you? Isn' t that how you got out of Auschwi t z, Irma? (William Styron) make out • Through the window, we see a couple making out on the hood of a car. (Chasing Amy) • Holden glances at the disc in his hands. Pictured on it are two gorgeous chicks, barely clad, making out. The title is 'Men Suck., and so do Girls — All XXX Action.' (Chasing Amy) • Cecile, we just made out in the middle of Central Park. You can trust me. (Cruel Intentions) neck To kiss and caress. • — You know what I' m doing, George? — No, Martha... what are you doing? — I'm entertain- ing. I'm entertaining one of the guests. I'm necking with one of the guests. (Edward Albee) slap and tickle (UK) Light- hearted kissing and caressing. • He'd woo her the way she ob- viously wanted, flowers and at- tention and not too much slap and tickle. (Colleen McCullough) smooch To kiss and caress, es- pecially while dancing to slow, r omant i c music. • That was probably a relief for the dimly lit duo, who had predicted the end of the world in a special mi l l enni um X-Files episode. Excitement at being alive as 2000 dawned propelled the famously unromantic couple into each oth- er's arms for a New Year smooch. (Guardian) • The smooching be- gins, quite pleasurable at first, and after interminable minutes of this foreplay, there starts the repetitious and inevitable build- up... (William Styron) snog (UK) To kiss and caress. • I liked him. I thought he was a really nice boy. The only thing, he always wanted to snog. The main event of an evening out, for him, was the snogging session in the back of the car. (E.A. Whitehead) touch up To fondle someone's genitals. • Good-looking tart... I wouldn't have minded her touch- ing me up. (Clive Egleton) 4. b fuck -joder, foliar The most popular swearword in English entered the language at the beginning of the 16 th century, origin unknown but perhaps related to German ficken, to strike, to copulate with. The verb is used transitively and intransitively. Numerous idiomatic uses are examined in Chapter 10. • Most other countries weren't even inhabita- ble anymore. They had too many people and not enough space... and still the people went on fucking all the time. Fucking was how babies were made. (Kurt Vonnegut Jr.) • Before I went into analysis I was completely frigid, can you imagine? Now all I do is think about fucking. Wilhelm Reich has turned me into a nympho, I mean sex on the brain. (William Styron) * After all a wife is a human being. She needs a fuck as much as we do. What else is there? A feed, a fuck, a good kip... (E.A. Whitehead) * I would look at myself in the mirror, pinch the skin under my chin, and decide that I was going through menopause and was drying up for want of a good fuck. I am not the sort of woman who goes without sex without a protest. (Erica Jong) • La mayoria de los demas paises ni siquiera eran habitables. Tenian demasiada gente y no habia suficiente espacio... pero la gente se- guia follando sin parar. Follando era como se hacian los ninos. • Antes de empezar con las sesiones de tera- pia era completamente frigida, £te lo imagi- nas? Ahora lo unico que hago es pensar en foliar. Wilhem Reich me ha convertido en una ninfomana, con sexo en el seso. • Despues de todo, una esposa es un ser hu- mano. Necesita ser follada tanto como noso- tras. Que otra cosa hay? Comer, foliar, echar una cabezada... • Me miraba en el espejo, me pellizcaba la piel bajo la barbilla, y decidia que estaba pa- sando por la menopausia, y me estaba que- dando seca de tantas ganas que tenia de que me follaran. No soy el tipo de mujer que pue- de pasar del sexo sin protestar. EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 37 www.FreeLibros.org • When was the last time you had a fuck? Is that an embarrassing question for you? (Naked) • Cuando fue la ultima vez que follaste? Te da corte la pregunta? S Y N O N Y M S : ball Especially of a man. • That's what any eighteen-year- old chick or thir ty- year - old chick will tell you when you take her out: 'Y ou don't love me, you j ust want to ball me.' (Lenny Bruce) • And you can tell the world all about those chicks that you ball. (Gore Vidal) • What Tom Cr uise doesn' t know is she's really a hooker, and Jim Be lushi ' s been balling her. (Jonathan Coe) bang • He is nine years old. Where does he learn phrases like ' bangi ng beaver ' and ' f uck God'? (Deconstructing Harry) • — This M s. Allen next door, was he banging her? — I don' t think so, man, she' s like sev- enty- f i ve years old. (Sea of Love) • I've been trying to bang this broad for a fucking month now. The only thing is she won' t go out with me alone, you know. (GoodFellas) bonk (UK) • — What is a proper r elationship? — Living with someone who talks to you after they've bonked you. (Naked) • Fiona has become so frustrated that she has been bonking the chairman of the neighbouring constituency's Conservative as- sociation. (Daily Telegraph) diddle • S he suspects that your de- crepit alcoholic father is diddling the maid. (Cruel Intentions) dip one's wick Used of a man, from the notion of inserting the penis. • N one of your barmaids or local peasant wenches for Pete. He' s very calculating where he dips his wick. (Robert Barnard) • But if you do get laid ... if you do manage to moisten the old wick, how many people would stop, before, during, or after, and give thanks to a j ust creator? (David M amet) frig Euphemistic, the original meaning being to move briskly. • High-pressure romancing: find 'em, fool 'em, frig 'em and for- get 'em. (M ezzrow & Wolfe) get one's hole • I was like a young bull in those days, getting my hole three times a night and still not satisfied. (John O gilby) get one's end away (UK) • They called him Grandad, asking him how his girlfriends were. 'Are you getting it?' they kept repeat- ing. 'Getting your end away?' (Guardian) get one's leg over • M y God, she wears these tight little skirts. I don' t know if she realises the effect she has on a bloke like me. What do you reckon the chances of getting a leg over are? (Alan Beretta) get one's oats • — What' s got into you tonight? N eeding your oats or something? — I had what you call my oats last night. I do not need them again tonight. (John M cGrath) get one's rocks off Used of a man. • N othing... nothing makes you so attractive to the opposite sex as getting your rocks off on a regular basis. (David M amet) goose S ometimes denoting spe- cifically anal intercourse. • W.H. Auden says that it is more mor- ally confusing to be goosed by a bishop than by a traveling sales- man. (Erica Jong) have it off, have it away (UK) • I unzipped my fly, pulled down my under pant s and came on Clive' s belly. He later told me he'd had it off with a photogra- pher the previous night and so wasn't much concerned with hav- ing it away himself. (Joe O rton) hump • — Y ou're disgusting. — Because you're going to hump M artha, I'm disgusting? (Edward Albee) • S he' s moaning and groaning and about to go the whole long route. Humping and bumping, and she's screaming ... all of a sudden she scr eams 'Wait.' (David M amet) • S tory is he humped the faculty wives in alphabetical order. (M alcolm Br adbur y) • Less a Don Juan than a beta male, I resembled one of those bachelor sea elephants who gets in some humping when- ever the alpha king of the harem falls asleep. (Hank Hyena) jump • S he admitted she always wanted him to jump her. (Robert L. Chapman) knock off (UK) How long's he been knocking off the vicar' s wife then? (Alan Beretta) lay M ostly used passively, to be laid or to get laid. • While you're struggling with a little bitch like that there may be a dozen cunts on the terrasse just dying to be laid. It's a fact. They all come over here to get laid... I had a married woman the other day who told me she hadn't had a lay for six months. (Henry M iller) • The Way to Get Laid is to Treat 'Em like S hit. (David M amet) make it • We were legally sepa- r ated. I made it with a lotta chicks, you're entitled to make it with a lotta guys. (Lenny Bruce) 38 El Ingles Prohibido EDITO RIAL S TAN LEY www.FreeLibros.org • How could you make it with him? That fat, disgusting piece of — you cunt! (Lenny Bruce) make out (US) Often, as in these examples, stressing suc- cess in achieving sexual inter- course, but it also means simply kissing and cuddling. See 4.a above. • 'You want to know how truck drivers make out with women, right?' the driver said. 'You have this idea that every driver is fucking up a storm from coast to coast, ri ght ?' (Kurt Vonnegut Jr.) • Those fucking firemen make out like bandits. (David Mamet) • Here I am pushing thirty years old. I fall crazy in love with a Polish shiksa and she keeps her sweet treasure all locked up as tightly as little Shirly Mirmelstein I tried to make out with for five whole years. (William Styron) nail • Name me one chick in our senior class that Rick Derris didn' t nail, for Christ's sake! (Chasing Amy) • I'm also learned in the ways of the heart, and can offer you this advice: nail her, get it out of your system, and move on. (Chasing Amy) • — How did it go with Mrs. Jesus? — If you're asking if I nailed her, the answer is no. (Cruel Intentions) poke • Working-class morality... It's a stallion-style morality. The principle is very simple: the male pokes everything he can get until one day he inadvertently pokes himself into wedlock; after that he stops poking and starts lusting. (E.A. Whitehead) ride • She mounted him and rode him unt i l they climaxed to- gether. (S. Allen) • She was the college bike, everybody had rid- den her. (James Laffan) • — Do you mind if I take my new Porsche for a ride? — Kathryn, the only thing you're going to be riding is me. (Cruel Intentions) • Can' t get a bird: no chance of a ride. Got a bird: too much hassle. (Trainspotting) root • I don't eat pork... I don't eat filthy animals. Pigs sleep and root in shit. That's a filthy ani- mal. (Pulp Fiction) score Stressing success in achieving sexual intercourse. • — This is where you take straight chicks on dates? — This'11 probably be the first time I don't score afterwards. — I don't know. I'm starting to get a tingle in my bottom. (Chasing Amy) screw • Sergeant Yanov's only immediate passion in life ... was some night to drag officer Reba Hadley away from the nightwatch desk and into the basement and rip her tight blue uniform blouse and skirt from her tantalizing young body and literally screw the badge right off her. Which was perhaps symbolically linked with Yanov's avowed belief that supe- rior officers had been screwing him mercilessly for the past eleven years. (Joseph Wambaugh) • Those redneck maggots like to read their Bibles over you while they screw you in the ass. (Joseph Wambaugh) • 'Roscoe'd screw the crack of dawn,' said Father Willie. (Joseph Wambaugh) shag • — Did you have to beat her up? —- I never beat her up. — You shagged her, though? (Naked) • ' I' ve got to meet someone,' I whispered desper- ately. 'Shame,' he said softly. 'See you Monday,' and gave me a look so dirty I felt like throwing my- self after him shouting 'Shag me! Shag me!' (Helen Fielding) • Feeling a bewildering mixture of smugness and pride over my perfect new boyfriend whom the girls clearly wished to have a go at shagging. (Helen Fielding) shtup (US) Yiddish, to push, to shove. • With those legs — why, of course he was shtupping her ... Wasn't he? (Philip Roth) slip it to somebody • Could he have been slipping it to her? Could my father have been slip- ping it to this lady on the side? (Philip Roth) stuff Used of a male. • He was sacked from Eton for stuffing the boys' maids. (Sunday Times) • — I love her, but she has a past. — I'll say. Stuffing two guys, eat- ing chicks out. (Chasing Amy) tear it off a bit Used of a man having sex with a woman. • Ital- ian wives must sit and suffer if the men tear off a bit on the sly. (Custom Car) 4. c nooky, nookie -polvos . Dustin Hoffman also nailed huge numbers of nookie in his prime, notes a Nov. 15 article in the Evening Standard of London. 'If anyone thinks Jack Nicholson and I got laid less than Warren Beatty when we were single, they're wrong.' (Salon) • Dustin Hoffman, en su momento cumbre, tambien mojo en grandes cantidades, indica un articulo del 15 de noviembre en el Evening Standard de Londres. 'Si alguien cree que Jack Nicholson y yo follamos menos que Warren Beatty cuando eramos solteros, se equivoca.' EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 39 www.FreeLibros.org • If one of my friends discovered that my wife had been having a quick bit of nooky, I wouldn't want them to tell me. If she decides to tell me — that's different. (Guardian) • You might even have enough free time to get you a little nooky. A growin' Southern boy's got to have his poontang, don't he. (William Styron) • Si uno de mis amigos descubriera que mi esposa se estaba tirando a otro, no quisiera que me lo contara. Si ella decide contarmelo — eso es distinto. • Puede que incluso tengas suficiente tiempo para ligarte a alguna. Un joven sureno tiene que pillar un poco de cono, seguro que si. RELATED TERMS: hanky-panky Surreptitious sexual activity. • Parish council- lors in Kinver, Staffordshire, are considering putting prickly plants in a local park to deter youngsters going behind the bushes at night for a bit of hanky-panky. (Guardian) how's your father (UK) Euphe- mistic. Sexual intercourse. • The Princess and the Pea Brain' as one paper dubbed them... Naturally both parties strenuously denied any how's-your-father. (Q) knee-trembler Describes an act of sexual intercourse between people standing up. • They would be going to the pub for a pint and afterwards Nelson would get her against our back wall for a knee-trembler... He claimed that knee-tremblers were the most exhausting way of having sex. (B.W. Aldiss) • We're not taking each other on the couch, grabbing a noon quickie, having a little knee- trembler before we do the dishes. Instead, we're having work-re- lated sex. (Salon) one-night stand An extremely brief sexual liaison. • Katie will always insist on going back to her intended's home for sex. 'It's a more empowering thing to do because you can leave when you want... I don't want to taint my own flat with the messiness of a one-night stand.' (Guardian) poontang (US) Sexual inter- course. Probably from French putain, whore. • You think we waste gooks for freedom? This is a slaughter. If I'm gonna get my balls blown off for a word ... my word is 'poontang'. (Full Metal Jacket) rumpy-pumpy (UK) Surrepti- tious sexual intercourse. • So why don't Mulder and Scully get together? Fans of the show have always insisted that any hint of rumpy-pumpy would undermine a relationship based on profes- sional trust. (Guardian) the other Euphemistic. Usually in phrase a bit of the other. • I've got to be noticed by any guy who's on the prowl away from home and looking for a bit of the other. (Spectator) tumble • It just so happened that as he was concluding his speech a whore gave us the eye. Without the slightest transition he says to me abruptly: 'Would you like to give her a tumble? It won't cost much... she'll take the two of us on.' (Henry Miller) wham, bam, thank you ma'am Denotes sexual intercourse done quickly and generally without tenderness. • — What a flop! — If you hadn't touched me... — Ha! If I hadn't touched you... What did you expect after that build up? After all that licking and biting and kissing and roll- ing around the sandhill. I was aching. So I touch you... and WHAM BAM THANK YO U MA' AM! (E.A. Whitehead) 4. d gangbang -violation colectiva, sexo tribal These two terms refer to sex involving several people. Gangbang applies to an act of multiple intercourse, especially one in which several men in succession have sex with the same woman. A daisy chain is sex involving three or more people, often male homosexuals, simultaneously. » I ever tell you about that slopehead we used to gangbang in Nam, partner? This little gook was about fourteen, but retarded. Had the brain of a chicken and nearsighted to boot. We got a translator to tell her that fucking was good • Alguna vez te conte lo de la asiatica que nos tirabamos ente todos en Vietnam, colega? Esta asiatiquilla tenia unos catorce anos, pero era re- trasada. Tenia el cerebro de una gallina y era miope para colmo. Conseguimos un traductor 40 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org for her eyes. (Joseph Wambaugh) * Carolina Moon and Ora Lee Tingle are just about the only broads you ever ball lately and I think you only do that to be a respectable member of an unrespectable group that gets drunk once a week and gangbangs two fat coc- ktail waitresses. (Joseph Wambaugh) • I'm fucked if I'm going to spend the rest of my life in an Arab gaol for the sake of that little cow! Look at her. Sitting there. All innocent. She marched out of here half-naked and got gang-banged... and she tells it straight like a story out of True Romances! (E.A. Whitehead) para decirla que foliar era bueno para sus ojos. • Carolina Moon y Ora Lee Tingle son, prac- ticamente, las unicas tias que te tiras ultima- mente y creo que solo lo haces por ser miembro respetable de un grupo nada respe- table que se emborracha una vez a la semana y juntos se tiran a dos gordas camareras. • Estaria jodido si me fuera a quedar el resto de mi vida en una carcel arabe por culpa de esa vaquilla! Mirala. Ahi sentada. Toda inocente. Salio de aqui medio desnuda y se la ti raron entre varios... y lo cuenta sin rodeos como un cuento sacado de Romances veridicosl RELATED TERMS: daisy chai n • Schni t zl er ' s play lays out a sexual daisy chai n of f ive men and f i ve with a soldier, who sleeps with a chamber mai d, who sleeps with her young employer, who sleeps with a married woman, and so on, ending up with the women: A pr ost i t ut e sleeps prostitute again. (Salon) • You have to do more than take a little gas, or slash the wr ists. Pot ? Zer o! D ai sy chai ns ? Nothing! Debauchery? A mu- seum word. (Saul Bellow) 4. e go down on someone -chupar, mamar * Here is a honey of a girl, with the softest, pinkest, most touching nipples I have ever drawn between my lips, only she won't go down on me. (Philip Roth) * I do not want her body. Do not want to see it, caress it, go down on it. (Kate Millett) If you think 37 dicks is a lot, then you just wait and see, Mister. I'm going to put the hookers in Times Square to shame with all the guys I go down on now. (Clerks) * Chicks never help you out. They never tell you what to do. And most of them are self- conscious about that smell factor, and so most of the time they just lay there, frozen like a deer in the headlights, right? But when a chick goes down on me, I let her know where to go and what the status is. You gotta handle it like CNN and the Weather Channel — constant updates. (Chasing Amy) • Aquf hay un encanto de chica, con los pezo- nes mas suaves, rosados y deliciosos que he tenido jamas entre los labios, solo que no quie- re chuparmela. • No quiero su cuerpo. No lo quiero ver, ni acariciar, ni comermelo. • Si crees que 37 pollas son muchas, sientate y espera, tio. Voy a dejar a la altura del barro a las prostitutas de Times Square con todos los tios que me como ahora. • Las tias nunca te ayudan. Nunca te dicen que hacer. Y a la mayorfa les da corte el factor tufo, asi que la mayoria del tiempo se quedan ahi, congeladas como un ciervo atrapado por los faros, verdad? Pero cuan- do una tia me la come, yo le digo adonde ir y como va la cosa. Tienes que tomartelo como si fueran las noticias o el tiempo — actualizandote constantemente. EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 41 www.FreeLibros.org RELATED TERMS: The following words relate to oral sex, both fellatio and cunnilingus. With the exception of blowjob, sixty-nine and soixante-neuf, all the terms are verbs. blow • How would I like Bub- bles Giraldi to come to my own house in the afternoon and blow me, as she did Smolka, on his own bed? (Phi l i p Rot h) • A woman blowing a man's natural. A woman blowing a dog's dis- gusting. (David Mamet) blowjob • You're so fucking verbal. Who else could have talked me into gi vi ng him a blowjob at my father's funeral? (Deconstructing H arry ) • I'm t hi nki ng Hugh Grant . . . How does a man with a girlfriend with looks like Elizabeth Hurley have a blowjob from a prostitute on a public highway and get away with it? What happened to hell hath no fury? (Helen Fielding) • We work long hours in The Busi- ness, I can tell you. It ain't all bou- quets and blowjobs, like you prob- ably think. (Joseph Wambaugh) eat • What Sally couldn't do was eat me. To shoot a gun at a little quack-quack is fine, to suck my cock is beyond her. ( Phi l i p Roth) • Yes sir, if I were some big blond goy in a pink riding suit and hundred-dollar hunt - ing boots, don' t worry, she'd be down there eating me, of that I am sure! (Philip Roth) eat pussy • For a man to interest me, he has to eat my pussy. Have you ever eaten pussy? (Charles Bukowski) • Bearded men often have cuntlike mouths; perhaps that is why they so love to eat pussy: it is like kissing themselves in a mirror. (Erica Jong) eat somebody out • That's how I was in high school — I was nervous and inhibited about be- ing eaten out. But by the time I got to college, that all changed. I loosened up. (Chasing Amy) french • Honest, honey, I didn't do not hi ng to that guy. Only fooled around with him a little. I was n' t f r enchi ng hi m. I wouldn' t go down there and kiss that rich man's cock and suck his balls like I'm gonna do to you right now. You know I wouldn' t do that to no other man, don't you, honey? (Joseph Wambaugh) give head / give a headjob • You give good dialogue. I won- der if you give good head. (Erica Jong) • My mother brought me up to believe that if I can' t do something right, I shouldn't do it at all. Of course, my father told me she gave lousy head, but that's beside the point. (Chasing Amy) • Some fruit picks up a guy in the restroom couple weeks ago and offers him ten bucks to let him give the guy a headjob, which is okay except he don' t have no money after he does it. (Joseph Wambaugh) muff-dive To perform cunnilin- gus. • I thought you were sup- posed to be a superior person, you muff-diving, mother-fucking son of a bitch! (Philip Roth) sixty-nine, soixante-neuf De- notes mutual oral stimulation of the genitals. The French term is considered more sophisticated than the English. • A quite nice boy of about sevent een ap- proached me. I do the soixante- neuf,' he said and added with a beam, I suck you.' This is some- thing I'd never heard a Moroc- can offer before. (Joe Orton) suck somebody's cock • Mandel the next day tells me that within half an hour after my frenetic departure, Bubbles was down on her fucking dago knees sucking his cock. (Philip Roth) • After an interval I noticed that t he si xt h man was kneel i ng down beside the youngish man with fair hair and sucking his cock... As I was about to leave I heard the bearded man hissing quietly, 'I suck people off! Who wants his cock sucked?' (Joe Orton) suck, suck off • Look, do you just suck, or do you fuck, too? (Philip Roth) • She puts ice cubes in her mouth until her tongue and lips are freezing, then sucks me off — then switches to hot tea! (Philip Roth) • It's like this per- missive society they talk about: never permitted me anything as far as I recall. I mean like watch- ing schoolgirls suck each other off while you whip them... (Philip Larkin) teabag Fellatio, performed so that the woman takes the man's testicles or both penis and testi- cles into her mouth. • Veteran fashion photographer David Bai- ley is taking a break from snap- ping supermodels to focus on a teabag. A British tea company has commi ssi oned Bailey to snap a whopping photo of its prize bag. 'Teabag and glamor- ous are not words you' d expect to find in the same sentence,' Bailey told the U.K. Mirror. Of course, anyone who saw John Waters' Pecker might take issue with that. (Salon) 42 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org 4. f rubber -condon, goma, globo • — What's a collapsible container? — A rabbet. That's what we called them when we worked vice. In any police report when you refer to a collapsible container, it's a rubber. (Joseph Wambaugh) • Josh didn't wear a rubber and now has a Te- rrible Disease. (Salon) • I've had it with whiners who complain about condoms! They're just mad they're not getting laid more often. Guys who know what they're doing with rubbers are a lover's dream come true. When you aren't worried about getting knocked up or sick, you can thoroughly enjoy being horny. End of story. (Susie Bright) • — Will you fuck me if I wear a rubber? — No. — If I don't? — Maybe. (Erica Jong) es un recipiente plegable? — Un conddn. Asi los llamabamos cuando traba- jabamos en anti-vicio. En cualquier infor- me policial, cuando mencionas un recipiente plegable, se trata de un condon. • Josh no se puso un conddn y ahora tiene una Enfermedad Terrible. • Estoy harta de llorones que se quejan de los condones! S61o estan cabreados porque follan con mayor frecuencia. Los tios que saben lo que hacen con los condones son el sueno hecho rea- lidad de cualquier amante. Cuando no te estas preocupando de quedarte embarazada ni de pi- llar algo, puedes disfrutar a tope de estar cachon- da. Fin de la historia. • — Me follaras si me pongo un cond6n? — No. — i,Y si no me lo pongo? — Quizas. SYNO NYMS: Durex (UK) A trademark, the UK's best known condom, now a generic word. • — Hey, Andy... Have you got any Durex? — Never use them. I prefer it in the raw. (E.A. Whitehead) French letter, frenchy (UK) • For most of the 19th and 20th centuries, the folk term was 'French letter' (because con- doms came in discreet enve- lopes), irreverently abbreviated to 'frenchie'. In the days when I was, as you might say, into con- doms, I was struck by the chau- vinism with which frenchies were advertised. 'British Manu- facture Throughout,' Durex used proudly to proclaim. (Guardian) johnny (UK) • What is the mark? Well, the mark, Brian, is the bar code — the ubiquitous bar code that you' ll find on every bog-roll, on every packet of johnnies, on every poxy pork pie. (Naked) skin (US) • 'You got those rub- bers you use?' he asked sud- denly. 'I want those skins.' (Tom Sharpe) Trojan (US) A trademark, the best known condom in the US. • Now I have absolutely nothing to worry about except the Tro- jan I have been carrying around so long in my wallet that inside its tinfoil wrapper it has prob- ably been half eaten away by mold. O ne spurt and the whole thing will go flying in pieces all over the inside of Bubbles Giraldi's box. (Philip Roth) • I gazed at her prettiness, thinking about the Trojan Extra-Lube I always carry in my wallet. (Hank Hyena) 4. g jerk off -hacerse una paja, pelarsela This is the most common American term meaning to masturbate; the most common British term is to wank. * His sex life consisted of getting into bed with his young and beautiful bride and jerking off into a copy of a magazine called Garter Belt. (Philip Roth) • Su vida sexual consistia en meterse en la cama con su joven y bella esposa y mastur- barse sobre un ejemplar de una revista llama- da Garter Belt. EDITO RIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 43 www.FreeLibros.org • — I remember once, on an exercise in Germany, I caught one of my own men, a private soldier, jerking off into half a pound of lamb's liver. — Thank God it wasn't an officer. (E.A. Whitehead) • Walter didn't teach you to make love, you lying creepy little idiot! I'll bet you' ve never had a good fuck in your life! All Walter taught you was how to jerk off the poor slobs who want to get into your pants! (William Styron) • — And if I win? — I'll give you something you've been jerking off about ever since our parents got married. I'll fuck your brains out. (Cruel Intentions) • A woman, preferably black, would be engaged for a very high sum to squat naked upon a glass coffee table and take a crap while the tycoon lay flat on his back, directly beneath the table, and jerked his dong off. (Philip Roth) • — Recuerdo una vez, de maniobras por Alemania, que le pile a uno de mis hom- bres masturbandose con media libra de hi- gado de cordero. — Gracias a Dios que no era un oficial. • Walter no te enseno a hacer el amor, idiota metiroso de mierda! jApostaria a que no te han follado bien en la vida! Lo unico que te enseno Walter fue como masturbar a los po- bres idiotas que se quieren meter en tus pan- talones! • — Y si gano yo? — Te dare algo por lo que te has estado haciendo pajas desde que se ca- saron nuestros padres. Te follare hasta que cai- gas rendido. • Una mujer, preferiblemente negra, era contratada por una elevada suma de dinero para que se pusiera desnuda en cuclillas sobre una mesa de cristal e hiciera de vien- tre mientras el magnate permanecfa tendi- do de espaldas, directamente debajo de la mesa, y se hacia una paja. SYN O N YM S: beat one's meat (US) • Why, alone on my bed in N ew York, why am I still hopelessly beat- ing my meat? Doctor, what do you call this sickness I have? (Philip Roth) give oneself a hand-job • The three-finger hand-job is what I have devised for jerking off in public places. (Philip Roth) • 'Who the fuck is she that she won't even give a guy a hand-job? A measly hand-job. Is that the world to ask of her? I ain't leav- ing till she either sucks it or pulls it — one or the other! (Philip Roth) J. Arthur (UK) Rhyming slang of J. Arthur Rank and wank. • Rowe is lying on his bed, his face to the wall. Featherstone says qui- etly: 'Here, he's having a crafty J. Arthur.' (John M cGrath) jack off • —You ever make it with an O riental? — N o. I spent eight- een months in Korea jacking off. (David M amet) • So you're gonna go out there, drink your drink, say 'Goodnight, I've had a very lovely evening,' go home, and jack off. And that's all you're gonna do. (Pulp Fiction) • O h, sure, we could do other things to make him come — jack him off, go down on hi m, the usual . (Courtney Weaver) pull one's peter (US) • Why are you chained to a toilet? I'll tell you why: poetic justice! So you can pull your peter till the end of time! (Philip Roth) pull one's putz (US) • Enough being a nice Jewish boy, publicly pleasing my parents while pri- vately pulling my putz! Enough! (Philip Roth) pull one's wire • Remember what I said about sex. Keep away from the maids and pretty boys. As for pulling your wire, that's no occupation for a gentleman. (John O sborne) toss off • The reasons for this gloom are several, laying aside minor matters like lack of exer- cise, tossing off, etc., which are in themselves products of gloom as much as producers. (Philip Larkin) • I tossed him off. He came only a small amount. They' re pulling their cocks twenty-four hours a day, I sup- pose. (Joe O rton) wank • Afterwards it took me 44 El Ingles Prohibido EDITO RIAL STAN LEY www.FreeLibros.org ages to toss him o f f . Finally I gave up, allowing him to wank himself, and only at the last minute did he force his prick into my hand. (Joe Orton) • — You got a bint at home? — Girl I write to. — Me too. Mine's at school. All love and kisses and current affairs but I have the odd wank over her photo. (Peter Nichols) • I can tell any man in 10 seconds how to use condoms with ease: Buy a bunch of different kinds and mastur- bate with them until you find a kind you like. Great wankers make great condom artistes. (Susie Bright) whack off (US) • It takes the se- riousness out of everything if you can imagine the President in back of the bathroom door whacking it to Miss July. I stroke it once in a while, I assume he does. (Lenny Bruce) • What had old Stingo been up to while Josef had been writh- ing in Warsaw' s unspeakable Gehenna? Listening to Glenn Miller, swilling beer, horsing around in bars, whacking off. (William Styron) • — What are you doing? — What does it look like I'm doing? I'm whacking off. Spanking the monkey. Flogging the bishop. Choking the chicken. Jerking the gherkin. (American Beauty) 4. h cherry -virginidad A cherry is a virgin o f either sex, o r virginity in general. The usage derives f ro m the suppo sed resemblance between the hymen and a cherry. The wo rd is used in verbal expressio ns like to still have one's cherry, to lose one's cherry, to pop o r bust someone's cherry, etc. It is so metimes used f iguratively, as in the f inal example. • The day I lost my cherry didn't amount to much anyway. (R.H. Rimmer) • You wanted Tyrone to lose his cherry, but things got out of hand. Isn't that right? (James Ellroy) * Call Cecile and get her to come over. I'll bust that cherry in a heartbeat. (Cruel Intentio ns) * — I have never been called that in my life. — Well, you just lost your cherry. (David Mamet) • El dia que perdi mi virginidad no fue para tan to de todas formas. • Tu querias que Tyrone perdiese su virgi- nidad, pero las cosas se te fueron de la mano. No es asi? • Llama a Cecile y dile que se pase. Me hare con su virginidad en un abrir y cerrar de ojos. • — Nunca me han llamado eso en la vida. — Bueno, pues acabas de perder tu virginidad. 4. i bugger -sodomizar, sodomita The wo rd is bo th a verb, meaning to so do mize, and a no un, o ne who so do mizes. The activity is buggery. * Did you know Auden got a rectal fissure from being buggered by a sailor and had to have an operation? (Philip Larkin) • For all of its supposedly 'shocking' gay sex, there's a Cliff's Notes feeling to To tal Eclip- se, a did-you-know-Rimbaud-buggered- Verlaine quality. (Salon) que a Auden le sali6 una fisura rec- tal por haber sido sodomizado por un marine- ro y tuvo que ser operado? • A pesar de todo su supuestamente 'escanda- loso' sexo gay, hay una sensaci6n de analitica en Eclipse to tal, una calidad informativa, tipo sabfas-que-Rimbaud-se-foll6-a-Verlaine. EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 45 www.FreeLibros.org • All the animals come out at night. Whores, skunkpussies, buggers, queens, fairies, dopers, junkies... Someday a real rain'II come and wash all this scum off the streets. (Taxi Driver) • He went to Prairie Military Academy for eight years of uninterrupted sports, buggery and Fascism. Buggery consisted of sticking one's penis in somebody else's asshole or mouth, or having it done to one by somebody else. (Kurt Vonnegut Jr.) • Todos los animales salen de noche. Putas, busca-chochos, chaperos, putos, maricones, colgados, yonkis... Algtin dia una autenti- ca lluvia vendra y lavard toda esta mierda de la calle. • Fue a la Academia Militar Prairie y en ella practico todos los deportes durante ocho anos ininterrumpidamente, asi como la sodomfa y el fascismo. Lo de la sodomfa consistfa en me- ter el pene en el agujero del culo o en la boca de otro o que otro se lo hiciera a uno. RELATED TERMS: butt-fuck • I hear when Caro- lina was living with that Greek bartender he used to butt-fuck her all the time. (Joseph Wambaugh) • Two excellent books on the subject of anal sex both inspire and reflect current trends in the acceptance of but t - f ucki ng. (Susie Bright) fist, fist-fuck Anal intercourse, usually but not necessarily ho- mosexual, in which the hand is inserted into the partner's anus. • As the evening' s entertain- ment unreeled in samples from 21 big-budget films, the audi- ence munched on popcor n while feasti ng their eyes on everything from public mastur- bati on and ur i nat i on, ' epic sofa fucks' and the mile-high club, to lesbian shower sex, male anal penetration and a protracted fisting scene. (Salon) ream, rim To stimulate the anus, either orally or with the penis, or to have anal sex with someone. • But you said we were going to get laid! You said we were going to get blowed! Reamed, steamed, and dry- cleaned, that's what you said! (Philip Roth) • The man reams him so hard the pain brings him to his knees. (Tom Wolfe) 46 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org EXERCISE 4.1 In each of the following lists, all the words are synonymous except one. Spot the odd man out and explain why the word in question is misplaced. 1. (a) eat pussy (b) give head (c) muff-dive (d) wank (e) suck off (f) blow 2. (a) nail (b) ball (c) hump (d) jump (e) snog (f) bang 3. (a) frenchy (b) Durex (c) cherry (d) skin (e) Trojan (f) johnny 4. (a) dryfuck (b) shag (c) neck (d) smooch (e) touch up (f) fingerbang 5. (a) toss off (b) whack off (c) pull one's wire (d)beat one's meat (e) have a J. Arthur (f) get one's rocks off EXERCISE 4.2 Here are some less common idiomatic and slang terms for body functions, nine of which have been dealt with in this chapter. Try to identify the subject to which each group of synonyms and related terms refers. 1. balloon, cheater, close combat sock, diving suit, eelskin, fear- not, gasket, joy bag, one-piece overcoat, raincoat, safe, scumbag, sheath, shower cap 2. a bit of jam, bananas and cream, blanket drill, bush pa- trol, crawl, dicky dunk, flop in the hay, horizontal refresh- ment, hot roll with cream, Irish whist, jazz, jink, pile-driving, roll in the hay, short arm prac- tice, tail-work, vitamin F, what Mother did, the other, tumble, zig-zig, oats, jelly roll, yum- yum, zatch, how's your father, rumpy-pumpy, four-legged frolic, fun and games 3. bill and coo, lallygag, clinch, slap and tickle, mush, lumber, reef 4. blow the whistle, chew it, cop a doodle, drop on it, get a facial, give pearls, gobble the goop, gum a root, hum a tune, inhale the oyster, do a knob job, lay some lip, munch, play a tune, polish the chrome, slob the knob, smoke a dick, smoke the white owl, swallow a sword, worship at the altar, wring it dry 5. board, blow off the loose, boff, bottle, bump fur, bury one's wick, bury the bone, change one's luck, come across, do a dive in the dark, do a flop, do the nasty, ease nature, get a piece, get a little, get lucky, get one's greens, get some, go to town, grind one's tool, hide the ferret, hide the salami, introduce Charley, lay some pipe, pocket the red, post a letter, sink the soldier, thread the needle 6. bake potatoes, bend some ham, cornhole, dig a ditch, do a brown, dip in the fudge pot, dot the 'i', fish for brown trout, fluff the duff, go down Hershey Highway, make poundcake, go over the bridge to Plimpton, pack fudge, paint the bucket, powder someone's cheeks, push shit uphill, rec- tify, saddle up, stir fudge 7. beat the beaver, get it wet, grease the gash, hide the hot dog, hit the slit, juice one's sluice, let the beaver swim, make some soup, pet the poo- dle, she-bop, slam the clam, tickle the taco 8. bunch punch, chain jerk, choo-choo, circle jerk, club sandwich, crew screw, fuckathon, group grope, mazola party, mob job, Mon- golian cluster fuck, pull party, ring jerk, round pound, team cream 9. barking at the ape, box lunch, canyon yodeling, eating at the Y, eating out, going south, go- ing under the house, mumbling in the moss, pearl diving, talk- ing to the boat people, whis- tling in the dark 10. bash the candle, beat the bishop, bleed the weed, bop the baloney, buff the banana, butter the corn, choke the chicken, crank the shank, crown the king, five against one, flog the dog, play a flute solo, give it a tug, grease the pipe, make the bald man puke, manipulate the mango, milk the lizard, paint the ceiling, pump the python, rope the pony, shake hands with the unemployed, stroke the dog, varnish the flagpole, walk the dog EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 47 www.FreeLibros.org EXERCISE 4.3 Translate the following sentences into English. 1. Aqui hay un encanto de chica, solo que no quiere chuparmela. 2. Me masturbaba regularmente pero la idea de tener una relacion con una mujer estaba mas alla de mi imaginacion. 3. Si uno de mis amigos descubriera que mi esposa se estaba tirando a otro, no querria que me lo contara. 4. No fue por casualidad, sino porque te estabas tirando a su mujer. Por eso te disparo. 5. Tenia una voz dulce y triste. Me gustaria follarte, pense. 6. Yo tenia mis propias ideas sobre el sexo. Estaba constantemente cachondo y me masturbaba continuamente. 7. Habia sido sodomizado por un marinero y tuvo que ser operado 8. Este hijo puta se la esta tirando desde que salio de la carcel! 9. Se sentia disgustada y humilla- da, supuestamente porque el presidente le habia metido mano. 10. Durante esa noche te follaria sin parar, hasta partirte por la mitad... Te haria gozar mas de lo que habias sonado en toda tu vida. 11. Alguna vez te conte lo de la asiatica que nos tirabamos entre todos en Vietnam? 12. Victor entra en una farmacia y compra una caja de profilacticos. 13. Cuando fue la ultima vez que follaste? 14. Me fui a la cama, me hice una paja y me dorm. 15. No quiero ver su cuerpo, ni acariciarlo, ni comermelo. 16. Los hombres estan achuchandote. Sus manos estan por todo tu cuerpo, apretujandose contra ti y metiendote mano. 17. Cuan- do una tia me la come, la digo por donde ir y como va la cosa. 18. Lo que mas me dolio fue cuando me dijiste que 'no tenia ni puta idea de foliar'. 19. Antes era completamente frigida. Ahora, lo unico que hago es pensar en foliar. 20. — Nunca me han llamado eso en la vida. — Bueno, pues acabas de perder tu virginidad. EXERCISE 4.4 ((The shy and heavily complexed narrator, Assistant Commissioner to the mayor of New York, works up the courage to engage a conversation with an attractive woman. When his first approach fails, he immediately tries another, with greater success.) Go ahead, you shackled and fettered son of a bitch, speak to her. She has an ass on her with the swell and the cleft of the world's most perfect nectarine! Speak! 'Hi' — softly, and with a little surprise, as though I might have met her somewhere before... 'What do you want?' To buy you a drink,' I said. 'A real swinger,' she said, sneering. Sneering! Two seconds — and two insults! To the Assistant Commissioner of Human Opportunity for this whole city! 'To eat your pussy, baby, how's that?' My God! She's going to call a cop! Who'll turn me in to the Mayor! 'That's better,' she replied. And so a cab pulled up, and we went to her apartment, where she took off her clothes and said, 'Go ahead.' My incredulity! That such a thing was happening to me! Did I eat! It was suddenly as though my life were taking place in the middle of a wet dream. There I was, going down at last on the star of all those pornographic films that I had been producing in my head since I first laid a hand upon my own joint... 'Now me you,' she said, '— one good turn deserves another,' and, Doctor, this stranger then proceeded to suck me off with a mouth that might have gone to a special college to learn all the wonderful things it knew. From the novel Portnoy's Complaint by Philip Roth 48 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org Using what you have learned in this chapter and in the preceding exercises and what you can guess from the context, find words or phrases in the above passage corresponding to these descriptions: 1. A deprecatory term which can be used of any male. 2. The usual American term for the buttocks. 3. A word often used to described a person who engages in group sex, partner-swapping, etc. 4. An expression meaning to perform cunnilingus. 5. A term describing an erotic dream. 6. An expression meaning to perform oral sex, either fellatio or cunnilingus. 7. A synonym for penis. 8. A term meaning to perform fellatio. EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 49 www.FreeLibros.org 5: S E X U A L T A S T E S homo -manca, mancon With the exception of gay, no longer considered slang, all terms describing male homosexuals are derogatory. • I shan't see much of the ceiling, I expect. T angier is certainly the place for the homos. (Joe Orton) • In Cardiff I found a newsagent with a good line in Yank homo porn, in quite a classy district too. Didn't dare touch it. (Philip L arkin) • Very amusing article in the Daily Telegraph today saying that the thing about homos is that they don't have children and so don't bother about the future. (Philip L arkin) • Is he a homo then? I'm not sure I've ever met any homos before, not to speak to. (Peter Nichols) • S artre has shown what a superb figure of comedy a homo can be. (Percy Wyndham L ewis) • S upongo que no vere mucho techo. T anger es ciertamente el lugar para los maricones. • E n Cardiff encontre un kiosko que vendia una buena Iinea de porno gay americano, y por cierto en un barrio de clase alta. No me atrevi a tocarlo. • Hay un articulo muy gracioso en el Daily Telegraph de hoy que dice que lo curioso acerca de los maricones es que no tienen hijos y por lo tanto no se preocupan por el futuro. • Es maricon entonces? No S e si he conocido alguno antes, no como para hablar de ello. • S artre ha demostrado que tipo mas genial para la comedia puede ser un maricon. RELATED TERMS: arse-bandit (U K) • His nick- name was Wendy. Wendy was ho- mosexual, he was an arse-bandit, a turd burglar, a shirtlifter, a dirty fucking queer, a stinking poof, a fucking homo. He was also a good man. (Ken L ukowiak) bent A djective. • 'Great thing about gay people...' 'Gay?' Tessa said. 'Bent, queer, you know. Ho- mosexual.' (Frederick Raphael) bum-bandit (U K) •I' m not a bum-bandit, you know. You've nothing to fear on that account. (Jonathan Coe) bum boy (U K) • L ook, you philosophised Irish bum boy, who asked you to open your mouth, eh? Who asked your lit- tle opinion, eh? (John McGrath) • He struck me as a bit of a pseudo-intellectual. Not to men- tion a bum-boy. (Peter Nichols) • Five fucking hours to do five clicks. It might take you and the rest of your bum-boy buddy ma- rines five hours. Not us, mate. We're fucking paratroopers, haven't you heard? (Ken L ukowiak) fag • T here ain't no rules out here, you cocksucker! T he Mar- quis of Queensberry's just some fag over on E ighth S treet. (Joseph Wambaugh) • You fag! You insolent fucking sissy! (Joseph Wambaugh) faggot (U S ) • I don't like the name L awrence! Only faggots and sailors are called L awrence! (Full Metal Jacket) • Because only one thing counts in this life: get them to sign on the line which is dotted! You hear me, you fucking faggots? (Glengarry Glen Ross) • You always hear those stories, you know, of guys being fooled by faggots dressed up as ladies. (L enny Bruce) • He said that instead of turning the other cheek you should sap the motherfuckers to their knees... A nd if Jesus Christ didn't have the balls to treat his enemies like that he was just another faggot Jew. (Joseph Wambaugh) • He was a rubber wristed, lisping, mincing faggot. (Joseph Wambaugh) 50 E l Ingles Prohibido E DIT ORIA L S T A NL E Y 5.a www.FreeLibros.org fairy • He saw two nearly nude men by the gardening shack and figured it was a pair of park fair- ies. He belched and shouted, 'All you faggy bastards in this park better keep the noise down.' (Joseph Wambaugh) • That puking little bastard! If there's anything worse than being a fairy, it's be- ing a miser. (Henry Miller) fruit • They got a fucking fruit at the games counter. I can't be- lieve this. In the midst of the toy department. At the games coun- ter, talking to the kids all day long ... a fairy. (David Mamet) • Hey, kid, go get the key to this shithouse. You might have a cou- ple fruits locked themselves in there. (Joseph Wambaugh) fudgepacker (US) • What about your family? Can you imagine the humiliation your father's go- ing to feel when he finds out his pride and joy is a fudgepacker? (Cruel Intentions) • Or, if it's election night, and you' re ex- cited and you wanna celebrate because some fudgepacker that you date has been elected the f i rst queer presi dent of the United States... even then, don't knock. (As Good as it Gets) Jessie • Darling, you really don't have to convince me that you're not a Jessie. (Kingsley Amis) • Come on, you big Jessie: off with your kecks. Two fine, full- grown men, naked beneath the moonlight: woul dn' t that be something for the heavens to look down on tonight? (Jonathan Coe) nancy-boy, nance • I can' t stand that Toto fellow. He's an open nancy- boy. (Lawrence Durrell) • We're looking for a fellow who screwed the arse off a Baroness, not a couple of rav- ing nances. (Frederick Forsyth) one of those • I don't know if it's true or not, but I heard your Cary Grant was one of those. You know, bent. (John Godfrey) pansy • Did you get a good look at that janitor's face, Lieutenant? Because that boogie might live in Watts. And you' ll need some friends there. Because that' s where I'm sending you on the next transfer, you incompetent fucking pansy! (Joseph Wambaugh) pogue A youthful homosexual male. • The kid was a pogue. It seemed to Hicks that if he got any drunker and his place any lonelier and more savage he might actually have some sort of a shot at him. (Robert Stone) ponce (UK) A noun, but also used as a verb meaning to move in an exaggeratedly effeminate manner. • Mods thought that Rockers were yobs, Rockers thought that Mods were ponces. (Nick Cohn) • Frankly, as Brad ponces about the place with his trousers hitched down to his hips, to show off as much pert muscul at ur e as possible, he looks like he couldn't fight his way out of a pair of Calvin Klein boxer briefs. (Guardian) poof, pouf, poove • Do you know something: I think that bloke's a pouf. (John McGrath) • In Piccadilly a rather slant- eyed and pissed (or drugged) poove sidled past me and said in a low, hot tone, 'I say, how camp.' (Joe Orton) poofter • — You pommy poofter. — What's a poofter? — What you'd call a pansy. (Ian Fleming) queen • Old Jewish mothers never know when their sons are faggots. They just miss it some- how. Out - and- out screaming queens — but their mothers are never hip. (Lenny Bruce) • Old ladies, old queens, theatrical im- presarios, actors and male pros- titutes make their entrances and their exits. (Peter Ackroyd) • Went to a press conference at twelve. A fat, queeny man wel- comed me into the room. He had a brown suit and a jolly queeny face. 'I do admire your work,' he said. 'How do you think of all those wi t t y remarks?' (Joe Orton) queer • Holy dogshit! Texas! Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy! And you don't look much like a steer to me, so that kinda nar- rows it down. Do you suck dicks? Are you a peter-puffer? (Full Metal Jacket) • All that typically queer talk, I've heard it all before. He's just a go-get- ting queen. (Joe Orton) sod (UK) Abbreviation of sodo- mite, al t hough the word is hardly ever used in that sense now. • — You aren't half a dopey sod. How d'you stand him, Char- lotte? — I love him, so it's easy. (Peter Nichols) swish (US) • You wanna be a goddamn swish — a goddamn f aggot- queer — GO! Suckin' cocks and takin' it in the ass, the thing of which you dream, GO! (David Rabe) • Here I sit, a re- viled gay man, and to top that off, I'm a gay black man — no- toriously the most swishy of the bunch. (Chasing Amy) that way (US) • The masked man's a fag! Dja hear that? Well, goddamn, masked man, I never knew you were that way. (Lenny Bruce) trade A person picked up for homosexual activity, or such people collectively. Rough trade EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 51 www.FreeLibros.org applies to someone from the lower class engaging in homo- sexual prostitution. • He was staying in Bristol in terrible digs. He'd been havi ng the trade back and finally his land- lady said, 'You've been bring- ing people back, haven't you? It's got to stop. You're not to br i ng any more men back here.' (Joe Or t on) • 'Come when you like,' I said, 'and we'll go round the Hammer- smith Bridge afterwards look- ing for a bit of young trade. (Joe Orton) • You can't always judge a sausage by its foreskin. Half the rough trade walking about you' d never tell were queens. (Peter Nichols) 5. b dyke, dike -manmacho * Dike is vernacular for lesbian... Now the reason I do a lot of faggot jokes — as opposed to dike jokes — is cause dikes'11 really punch the shit out of you. (Lenny Bruce) » You know the dyke stuff in the Penthouse letters section is written by guys. (Chasing Amy) « We live in a more tolerant age now. You refer to yourself as a dyke. Hooper calls himself a faggot all the time. (Chasing Amy) « Everyone needs dick. See, I can buy fags. Bunch of guys that need dick — just plain need it. That I get. Dykes? Bullshit posturing. But — live and let live, I guess. (Chasing Amy) • Lesbiana en jerga es marimacho... Ahora, la razon por la cual hago muchos chistes de ma- ricones — en vez de chistes de marimachos — es porque las marimachos realmente te pue- den dar de hostias. • Sabes que lo de las marimachos en la seccion de cartas de Penthouse esta escrito por tios. • Vivimos en una era mas tolerante ahora. Te refieres a ti misma como una marimacho. Hooper siempre se llama maricon a si mismo. • Todo el mundo necesita una polla. Ves, pue- do entender a los maricones. Un monton de tios que necesitan pollas - simplemente lo ne- cesitan. Eso lo entiendo. Marimachos? Una postura de mierda. Pero, supongo que habra" que vivir y dejar vivir. RELATED TERMS: All the following terms are derogatory or offensive. bul l dyke A l esbi an wi t h strongly masculine tendencies. • High ranking members of the Los Angeles Police Department believed that women had some value in rape cases, juvenile in- vestigations and public rela- tions. But otherwise ... they were probably bull dykes at heart and were out to steal men's jobs. (Joseph Wambaugh) • Only ... from the mouth of a Southern bulldyke asshole ingrate of a vicious nowhere cunt can this trash come. (David Mamet) butch A lesbian with strongly masculine tendencies. • When I was young, Bannon's books let me imagine myself into her New York City nei ghbor hoods of short-haired, dark-eyed butch women and st ubbor n, ti ght- lipped secretaries with hearts ready to be broken. (Salon) diesel A lesbian with aggres- sively masculine tendencies. Now the name of a well-known lesbian magazine. • Hinton rat- tled his chains. 'Fuck you, fuck that Irish guy and f uck that f ucking diesel dyke.' (James Ellroy) • As a current Diesel ad puts it: 'Men. Who needs 'em?' Above the caption, three comely young women pose at a sperm bank. (Salon) fag-hag (US) A woman, not necessarily homosexual, who habitually consorts with male homosexuals. • His examination of the 'fag hag' as personified by Dorothy Dean — a New York writer, pundit, and all-around bad girl in the '60s and '70s — is fascinating. 'The fag hag's marriage to her constant gay male companion is a marriage sanctified not by physical love but by Humor and Verbal Pun- ishment,' he writes. (Salon) femme A lesbian who adopts 52 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org a passive, femi ni ne role. • I will venture to say that I am versatile. In bed, to borrow from the gay lexicon, I am nei- ther a top nor a bottom, but a 'side'. As an aesthetic, I alter- nately confess to being femme with an inner soft butch, or perhaps a femme top. (Salon) jock (US) A lesbian with mas- cul i ne t endenci es . • Lorna Dillon was not butch, but her voice was deep and her arms and legs were nearly twice the size of Al Mackey's. She wore tennis shorts and a T-shirt and was obviously a jock. (Joseph Wambaugh) les • I reckon she's a les, you know. (New Society) lesbo, lesbie • — Relationships seem too distracting. I'd rather concentrate on my studies. — You a lesbo? (Cruel Intentions) • — One was a man, a good- looking man at that. — Man my ass, they were lesbos. (Chester Himes) muff-diver See l.g and 4.e above. • 'She is,' said Dr Dudden, 'a sister of Lesbos.' Terry had no idea whether this euphemism was i n common usage, or whether Dr Dudden had j ust made it up. 'You mean she's a friend of Dorothy?' 'Precisely. She's a fucking muff-diver. Or, more accurately, a non-fucking muff-diver.' (Jonathan Coe) rug-muncher (US) • I wanted to watch some TV. Hard to do when your best friend's wrapped around a naked rug-muncher on your couch. (Chasing Amy) 5. c I cottage -lavabo publico para citas homosexuales The term is British slang. It denotes a public lavatory or urinal used by male homosexuals for assignations. Tearoom is the equivalent American term. * He talks a lot about a friend who committed suicide. 'Found in a cottage, she was,' he said. "They gave her the choice of gaol or a mental home.' (Joe Orton) • One lonely night you'll say a few flattering words to some nice chap in a cottage and next you know a cow of a magistrate's giving you three months. (Peter Nichols) • Habla mucho de una amiga que se suicidio. 'Fue encontrada en un lavabo publico* dijo. 'Le dieron a escoger entre la carcel o un cen- tro psiquiairico.* • Una noche solitaria diras unas palabras aduladoras a un tipo majo en un lavabo publi- co y acto seguido tendras a una zorra de juez eondenandote a tres meses. RELATED TERMS: tearoom (US) It all reminds me of a pissing/cruising scene I saw in the Washington Square tea- room in New York City. This toi- let was so filthy and so full of activity, it took my breath away. These guys did not have a shy bone in their bodies. Tougher than shit, too. (Greg Nott) 5. d ambisextrous -bisexual • Her privacy is invaded by Nikki — an ambisextrous hustler, hussy, hedonist, needle- user, fibber and people-surfer ... and having, you know, a fine pair of jugs. When not flogging off poor Rosa's belongings, Nikki is servicing all comers, even the chap who has come to service the washing machine, (David Profumo) • Su privacidad es invadida por Nikki — una prostituta bisexual, puta, hedonista, engan- chada a la aguja, mentirosa y surfista de gen- te... que tiene, sabes, un buen par de melones. Cuando no se esti haciendo con las cosas de la pobre Rosa, Nikki esta dando servicio a cualquiera, incluso al tipo que vino a arreglar la lavadora. EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 53 www.FreeLibros.org » Who is copying the grisly murders outlined in the best selling novel Tenebrael Find out in Dario Argento's audacious psycho thriller, an ambisextrous Freudian nightmare highlighting designer slaughter, futuristic dementia and icy suspense. (Bradford Film Festival publicity) esta copiando los espantosos asesi- natos de la novela de exito Tenebmel Entera- te en el psyco-thriller audaz de Dario Argento, una pesadilla Freudiana bisexual que destaca la matanza de diseno, la demencia futuristica, y el suspenso gelido. RELATED TERMS: AC-DC Euphemistic. • You can also tell Time Magazine you're bisexual, be AC-DC in the inter- national edition. (Kate Millet) bi Abbreviation of bisexual. • Some were gay, many apparently bi, and a few so hard that they would have been given a wide berth in a Gorbals pub. (Listener) bi-guy I'm looking for a kinky bi-guy to wank with, and maybe more. I get off on almost any- thing bizarre, extreme, kinky or depraved (however I am NOT interested in anything involv- ing children or under-age per- sons). (Gay Universe) gender-bender Used of a per- son, especially a pop-singer, who deliberately affects an an- drogynous appearance. • While it wouldn' t be long before the term ' gender bender ' woul d come to mean cuddly camp or flinty androgyny, Prince wore eyeliner and bikinis with an in- your-face mascul ine swagger that clearly stemmed neither from sexual confusion nor fash- ionable artifice. (Salon) swing both ways • As for the mystery that still surrounded Robin Aseltine's death, the police had picked up and questioned sev- eral former boy and girl friends, Robin having been found to swing both ways. (J.G. Vermandel) switch-hitter (US) • Aust i n Powers began to look like a switch-hitter in the final scene of 'The Spy Who Shagged Me' , when he got into bed with his look-alike clone and the lovely Felicity Shagwell. (Salon) • Switch hitter: How slick 'Jerry Maguire' ads sell Tom Cruise to both sexes. (Salon headline) versatile Euphemistic. • — Dougal was probably pansy. — I don't think so, he's got a girl somewhere. — Might be versatile. (Muriel Spark) 5. e drag queen -travesti * Like Valerie, I too was once a young drag queen in love with Audrey Hepburn. I was drawn to her more than to any other figure in Hollywood. 'Funny Face', where she plays a drab, boyish creature who's transformed into a supermodel, was the only film for me. (Salon) • It may seem a stretch to imagine a 6-foot-7 drag queen as the celebrity spokesperson for an Internet software company, but hey, this is 1999, (Janelle Brown) » President Clinton mixes with drag queens and Matthew Shepard's mom at a big New York gay pride bash. (New York Times) • Como Valerie, yo tambien fui una joven drag queen enamorada de Audrey Hepburn. Me senti atraido por ella mas que por ningtin otro personaje de Hollywood. 'Funny face', don- de hace el papel de una criatura del tipo nina apagada que se transforma en una super mo- delo, era mi pelicula preferida. • Puede parecer increible el imaginar a una drag queen de 205 centimetros como porta- voz de una empresa de internet de software, pero, oye, estamos en 1999. • El Presidente Clinton se mezcla con drag queens y con la madre de Matthew Shepard en una gran fiesta en Nueva York para cele- brar el orgullo gay. 54 El Ingles Prohibido EDITO RIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org S Y N O N Y M S : trannie • Almodovar gathered with his ensemble of actors — three women and one trannie, who, between the four of them, feminine beauty and allure cov- ered — to answer questions from the audience. (Guardian) • Brit- ish judges ruled in July that the N ational Health will cover hor- mone treatments for transsexuals the British army in non-combat positions. (S alon) TV Abbreviation of transves- tite. • We get a lot of TVs in and a few of the leather boys of course. (The M agazine) had j ust about every angle of and also that trannies can stay in 5. f kinky -pervertido • King Farouk was a bit kinky. Right? They're there humping and bumping... the chick's about to come... he whacks her on the forehead with a ball-peen hammer. (David M amet) • I kept my socks on, nothing else. 'I've drawn you looking like a beautiful teenager,' P. Procktor said. 'Y ou'll get a lot of kinky letters after this, I'm sure.' (Joe O rton) • *Are you ever going to wash that tee-shirt of yours?' Willes said. 'Y ou've been wearing it for ages.' 'I let the sweat collect,' I said, 'and then when I pick someone up it gives them a kinky thrill.' (Joe O rton) • S he tells me the show in Mexico isn't gonna be some ordinary fuck movie between me and some boy. She said it was gonna be something real kinky where I could get hurt. (Joseph Wambaugh) • El Rey Farouk era un poco retorcido, ver- dad? Ahi estan, dale que te pego, la tia esta a punto de correrse... el la da en la frente con un martillo pequeno. • Me quede con los calcetines puestos, nada mas. 'Te he descrito como si fueras una adolescente preciosa,' dijo P. Procktor. 'Recibiras muchas cartas cachondas despues de esto, sin duda.' • ' Alguna vez vas a lavar esa camiseta tuya?' dijo Willes. 'La llevas puesta desde hace si- glos.' 'Dejo que se acumule el sudor,' dije, 'asi cuando liguo con alguien les pone cachondas.' • M e dice que el espectaculo de M exico no va a ser la tipica pelicula donde folio con algun chico. Ella dice que va a ser algo muy retorci- do donde me podrian hacer dano. RELATED TERMS: fladge, flage Flagellation as a means of sexual gratification. • It's not that de S ade was more violent than other libertine aris- tocrats, for fladge and sodomy were common tastes. (Whip) • I have some damned odd fantasies when it comes to quiet half- hours with sex. Flage, and all that. (J.I.M . S tewart) flash To expose one's genitals for sexual gratification. • Y ou wonder what kind of perverted, di seased mi nds t hese men have. O nce or twice men have exposed t hemsel ves to me. . . you know, f l as hi ng. . . and I know it's nothing but it's made me feel sick for days aft er- wards. (E.A. Whitehead) • Come to think of it, he was a bit of a flasher... used to sit around the house with his flies open and i f he cau ght you looking, it gave him a big kick. (E.A. Whitehead) nonce (UK) Prison slang for a person convicted of a sexual of- fence, especially child-molest- ing. • Just to think what some of the nonces on their wing had done sickened him... Jack Lynn had no notion that this tremen- dous anger related to the fear deep inside him that he might be no different basically from the sex offender, or child molester. (G.F. N ewman) perv, perve Corruption of per- vert. • Why don' t you go and watch some other place die? They've got corpses by the river- full in Bangla Desh. Why not go there? Y ou're a pack of perves. (Robert S tone) scarfing (UK) Auto-asphyxia- EDITO RIAL S TAN LEY El Ingles Prohibido 55 www.FreeLibros.org tion for sexual stimulation. • He was found only partially clothed, bound, and with a plas- tic bag over his head, circum- stances which not unnaturally led to suspicion of foul play. The autopsy, however, established beyond doubt that he had died accidentally, while engaging in the pract i ce known as scarfing. (Ballymena Times) Abbreviation of both prostitute and professional. • — And was she a pro? — At this point, we don't know. Pro, semi-pro, Betty Coed from College, regular young broad, it's anybody's ballgame, (David Mamet) • 'She was rubbing her thighs up and down in a very bold way. What d'you suppose would've happened if I'd followed her off the bus?' 'She'd've charged you three quid, I expect,' Kenneth said. 'I've never seen a more obvious pro on a number 19 bus before.' (Joe Orton) • Hey, Hank! Man, I really caught a head job today! Jesus Christ, she really ate me up! And young too! But she was really a pro! (Charles Bukowski) • — Era una profesional? — En este mo- mento, no tenemos ni idea. Profesional, medio-profesional, tia cachonda de colegio mayor, una joven eualquiera, quien sabe a estas alturas. • Se estaba frotando los muslos de una for- ma muy descarada. Que crees que hubiera pasado si la hubiese seguido al bajarse del autobus?' 'Te hubria cobrado tres libras, me imagino,' dijo Kenneth. 'Jamas he visto a una profesional mas descarada en un auto- bus mumero 19.' • Eh, Hank! Vaya mamada que me han he- cho hoy! Dios, se me ha comido entero! i Y era joven! Pero era realmente una pro- fesional ! RELATED TERMS: hooker (US) • The Aios-stricken hooker, knowing that she's never had a chance in the world, wants to take her clients down with her by giving them her disease. (New York Times) • Every hooker I ever speak to tells me it beats the hell out of waitressing. Waitressing's got to be the worst fucking job in the world. (Deconstructing Harry) hustler • Who didn't want Gin- ger? She was one of the best- known, best-liked and most re- spected hustlers in town. Smart hustlers like her could keep a guy awake for two or three days before sending him home broke to the little woman and his bank examiners. (Casino) on the game (UK) • I knew he thought I was on the game. Some- how that thought turned me right off. (E.A. Whitehead) • Betty's on the game, isn't she? Has she got you at it too? (Tony Parker) professional girl (US) • It's not cheating. She's a hooker. It's not like I'm having a love affair. See, you don't feel for a professional girl the way you do for your wife. (Deconstructing Harry) prosty • The best relationship I ever had with a woman was with a prosty I met in Hamburg. I couldn't speak a word of German and she couldn't speak a word of English. (E.A. Whitehead) tart • — Like anything else? — Aye, I'd like a nice fat tart with a wobbly jelly-roll and a mind like a Cairo sewer. That'd be fa- vourite. (John McGrath) • I've slept with every class of tart from Siberians to Polynesians, had them all, no bother at all. I don't need a wife — I hire one by the hour. (John McGrath) working girl (US) • I went into this with my eyes open, you know. I knew the bottom could drop out at any time. I'm a working girl, right? You don't think I'm gonna go into a situ- ation like this if I don't think I'm gonna get covered on the back end. (Casino) 56 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org 5. h trick -putero, putanero Both a noun and a verb, i.e. either a prostitute's client or (of a prostitute) to have sexual intercourse with a client. * Her skirt was the only piece of clothing on her body. The only reason it was still on her body was that the trick had said he liked it better when they 'hiked them up'. It reminded him of when he was a kid in the drive-in movies during the '50s. (Joseph Wambaugh) » The whore was leafing through her trick book with quivering lip and shaking hands. There were numbers of good tricks to look for, bad tricks to avoid. (Joseph Wambaugh) • — And you only saw him twice? — Twice. And I never tricked with him. He never asked for it. (Joseph Wambaugh) • Su falda era la unica prenda sobre su cuer- po. La unica arazon por la cual aun la llevaba puesta era porcpe el tipo dijo que le gustaba mas caando 'se las subian'. Le recordaba cuando era un crio en las cines al aire libre de los anos 50. • La puta estaba hojeando su agenda mientras su labio se estremecfa y le temblaban las ma- nos. Estaban los numeros de los tipos buenos a quien buscar, y los de los tipos malos a quie- nes evitar. • — Y solo le vistes dos veces? — Dos ve- ces. Y nunea me lo tire. Nunca lo pidi6. SYNO NYM S: John • You're teary-eyed, huh? You're upset? You're a good ac- tress, you know that? Good fuckin' actress. You can fuckin' get that pity out of people. I'm not a John, you understand? You always thought I was, but I'm not. And I'm not a sucker. (Ca- sino) • Two male prostitutes were duking it out over the favors of a customer in a white Jaguar... The John in the Jag noticed the black- and-white and said adios, roaring away. (Joseph Wambaugh) short-timer (US) O riginally a person due to leave military serv- ice shortly. • Bangkok. Girlie bars galore, packed with strippers and pimps and whores and the short- timers who made it all possible. (James Laffan) 5. i whorehouse -burdel, casa de putas • You don't know what the fuck you're talking about, Scoop. The fucking Communists don't believe in God, and wherever they come to power, what's the first thing they do? Kill the priests, rape the nuns, and turn the churches into whorehouses. (Charley Rosen) • The city has become famous for its licentiousness, as a gambling den, a whorehouse, a place of bawdy songs and wild, loud music. (Salman Rushdie) • Ricky! You're an international businessman. Tell us, in your opinion, where are the best whorehouses in the world? O ther than San Francisco? (Hank Hyena) • No sabes de que cono estas hablando, Scoop. Los jodidos comunistas no creen en Dios, y dondequiera que llegan al poder, £que es la primera cosa que hacen? M atar a los curas, violar a las monjas, y convertir las iglesias en prostibulos. • La ciudad se ha hecho famosa por su liberti- naje, como un centro del juego, un burdel, un lugar de canciones obscenas y musica alta y salvaje. . Ricky! Tu eres un empresario internacio- nal. Dinos, en tu opinion, donde estan los me- jores burdeles en el mundo? Aparte de San Francisco? EDITO RIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 57 www.FreeLibros.org « And your father would go down to a tavern where he would get drunk with some other drinking machines. Then all the drinking machines would go to a whorehouse and rent some fucking machines. And then you father would drag himself home to become an apologizing machine. (Kurt Vonnegut Jr.) • Y tu padre se iba a una taberna donde se em- borrachaba junto con otras maquinas bebedo- ras. Y despues, todas las maquinas bebedoras se iban a un prostibulo y alquilaban maquinas folladoras. Y despues, tu padre volvia arras- trandose a casa para convertirse en una mi- quina de pedir perdon. S YN O N YM S : cat house • Let's do it tonight... Get us some chippies. You know we can. And if we don' t, he knows a cat house, it fulla cats. (David Rabe) • Instead of a man of the cloth, we'd pledged our devotion in the presence of a guy named N orm whose uniform had big collars and more fringe than all the curtains in a N evada cathouse. (M ary Elizabeth Williams) knocking-shop • I do under- stand that an introduction — or dating, or whatever the term of the day is — agency is not the same as a knocking shop, but all this ' refained' gentility sits strangely with the actual busi- ness of getting bodies together. Perhaps it would be easier to control if a knocking shop were all it was, but what everyone wants these days is not sex, but relationships. (Guardian) 15. j pimp -chulo * A small number of women told us they had several 'boyfriends' who would 'help them out with a bill in exchange for 'going out'. Others admitted to 'selling sex* or 'selling ass'. When we pressed them, we found that the women used these terms to distinguish their activities froan those of 'professionals* — women who worked for a pimp and solicited on a daily basis, (Kathryn Edtn) . Un numero redueido de mujeres nos dijeron que tenfan varies 'novios' que les 'ayudaban' con un billete a cambio de 'salir', Otras ad- mitieron que 'vendian sexo' o 'vendian su eulo'. Cuando insistimos, nos enteramos que las mujeres usaban estos terminos para dis- tinguir sus actividades de las de las 'profe- sionales' — mujeres que trabajaban para un chulo y que hacian la calle a diario. 58 El Ingles Prohibido EDITO RIAL S TAN LEY www.FreeLibros.org EXERCISE 5.1 In each of the following lists, all the words are synonymous except one. Spot the odd man out and explain why the word in question is misplaced. 1. (a) on the game (b) trick (c) pimp (d) cat house (e) John (f) tearoom 2. (a) butch (b) jock (c) gender-bender (d) rug-muncher (e) diesel (f) lesbo 3. (a) be ambisextrous (b) be a switch-hitter (c) flash (d) be versatile (e) swing both ways (f) be AC-DC 4. (a) bum boy (b) poof (c) queen (d) fudgepacker (e) fag-hag (f) ponce 5. (a) bulldyke (b) working girl (c) pro (d) tart (e) hustler (f) hooker 6. (a) nonce (b) swish (c) perve (d) fladge (e) scarf (f) flash EXERCISE 5.2 Here are some less common idiomatic and slang terms related to sexual proclivities. Try to identify the subject to which each group of terms refers. 1. an academy, bag-shanty, band box, beauty parlour, beaver base, birdcage, cake shop, cat flat, fish market, fuckery, garden house, la- dies' college, leaping house, nunnery, riding academy, sporting house 2. an Amy-John, boon dagger, beaver eater, carpet muncher, fairy lady, fem, fluff, Jasper, lesbyterian, Margie, ruffle, Sappho, sergeant, tribadist, tootsie, wolf 3. an apron squire, ass peddler, button broker, crack sales- man, fishmonger, honey man, missionary, prosser, runner, stable boss, tout 4. a bachelor's wife, bimmy, bobtail, business girl, butt- peddler, common sewer, com- pany girl, crack salesperson, cruiser, guinea hen, hat-rack, hay-bag, lease-piece, live- stock, mattress, merry-legs, moonlighter, overnight bag, piece of trade, raspberry tart, sales lady, zook 5. an Alice, angel, auntie, blow boy, bun duster, buttercup, broken wrist, brown-hatter, cream puff, daffodil, ducky, Ethel, flit, gobbler, himmer, lisper, lily, Mary Ann, meat hound, mince, mattress muncher, pink pants, panty waist, powder puff, punk, pillow biter, quince, rear ad- miral, rear gunner, rimadonna, receiver, sissy, three-dollar bill, undercover man EXERCISE 5.3 Translate the following sentences into English. 1. Quieres utilizarme para cada toda cosa estrafalaria y cachonda que se te ocurra. 2. Otras mujeres trabajaban para un chulo y hacian la calle a diario. 3. Las mujeres se desmayaban cuando le veian en la pantalla, pero en realidad Hudson era marica. 4. Voy a dejar en vergiienza las putas de Times Square con todos los tios que me como ahora. 5. Patricia era una ninfomana, nunca tenia suficiente. 6. Hay que tener mucho cuidado con las marimachos, si no, te daran de hostias. 7. La ciudad se ha hecho famosa por sus burdeles. 8. El tipo era bisexual... quiero decir que jodia con hombres y mujeres y le jodian hombres y mujeres. 9. El analisis me ha convertido en una ninfomana, con sexo en el seso. 10. Se sentia tan cachondo que decidio tomarse el resto del dia libre y quizas encontrar una puta de treinta dolares. 11. Danny habia salido del armario y habia proclamado que era maricon. 12. La mayoria de los chulos procuran no espachurrar la cara. Pegan en la mejilla, junto a la mandibula, evitando EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 59 www.FreeLibros.org los ojos y la boca. 13. La puta esta echando un vistazo a su agenda. 14. Por que te refieres a ti misma como una marimacho? 15. Que es la primera cosa que hacen? Matar a los curas, violar a las monjas, y convertir las iglesias en prostibulos. 16. Sally tenia una casita y alli lo pasabamos bien, jodiendo y comiendo. Me alimentaba bien y me debilitaba al mismo tiempo. Nunca tenia suficiente. Sally era una ninfomana. 17. Jack se lo hace con travestis. Algunos de ellos tienen mejor aspecto que muchas mujeres. 18. Dice que quiere hacer algo muy retorcido. 19. Es maricon entonces? No se si he cono- cido algun maricon antes. 20. Dicen que lo de las marimachos en la seccion de cartas de Penthouse esta escritopor tios. EX ER C I SE 5.4 (A New York cabby, Travis, describes his working routine. Later he converses with a child prostitute, Iris.) I work the whole city, up, down, don't make no difference to me — does to some. Some won't take spooks — hell, don't make no difference to me... They're all animals anyway. All the animals come out at night: whores, skunkpussies, buggers, queens, fairies, dopers, junkies, sick, venal. Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets. Each night when I return the cab to the garage I have to clean the come off the back seat. Some nights I clean off the blood. I R I S: God, you are so square. TR AV I S: Hey, I 'm not square, you're the one's square. You're full of shit, man. What are you talking about? You walk out with those fucking creeps and low-lifes and degenerates out on the streets and you sell your little pussy for nothing, man? For some low-life pimp who stands in the hall? And I 'm square? You're the one's square, man. I don't go screwing with a bunch of killers and junkies like you do. You call that hip? What world are you from? From the film Taxi Driver, written by Paul Schrader Using what you have learned in this chapter and in the preceding exercises and what you can guess from the context, find words or phrases in the above passage corresponding to these descriptions: 1. An offensive term for a black person. 2. A word which means prostitute. 3. A familiar term for a sodomite. 4. Two words used to refer derogatorily to male homosexuals. 5. A word for semen. 6. An expression which means: mistaken, seriously ill-informed. 7. An adjective which has no precise meaning but is used simply for emphasis. 8. A word which means vagina. 9. A word which refers to a man who lives off the earnings of a prostitute. 10. A verb meaning to have sexual intercourse. 60 El I ngles Prohibido EDI TOR I AL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org 6. U N P L E A S A N T P E O P L E , T H I N G S , P L A C E S , E T C . 6. a bastard -cabron, hijo puta • I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country. (Pattori) • Sharon was on top form. 'Bastards!' she was already yelling by 8.35, pouring three-quarters of a glass of Kir Roy ale straight down her throat. 'S tupid, smug, arrogant, manipulative, self-indulgent bastards.' (Helen Fielding) • A l Mackey had to hit the brakes as the freeway motorists slowed to ogle some poor bastard getting a speeding ticket. Better him than me! (Joseph Wambaugh) • That bastard Moss had the ear of the chief of police and every other idiot who didn't know him well! (Joseph Wambaugh) • Quiero que recuerdes que ningtin bastardo gand una guerra al morir por su pais. La gano consiguiendo que otro bastardo imbecil mu- riese por su pals. • Sharon estaba en forma. Ya estaba gritando 'jbastardos!' a las 8.35, mientras bebia de un trago un vaso casi lleno de Kir Royale. 'Bas- tardos estupidos, petulantes, arrogantes, ma- nipuladores y autoindulgentes.' • A l Mackey tuvo que frenar en seco cuando la patrulla de la autopista redujo para poner una multa por exceso de velocidad a un pobre bastardo. Mejor el que yo! • Ese eabrdn de Moss tenia al jefe de policfa y a cualquier otro idiota que no le conociera bien metidos en el bote! S YN O N YMS : W e can use any numbe r of te rms of abuse to de scribe pe ople we find unple asant or conte mptible . The following words can all be applie d to me n. Use d de rogatorily, most of the m have no particular significance . In a fe w case s, howe ve r, the re may be re fe re nce to spe cific kinds of be haviour. W he n this is so, it is indicate d in the te xt. arsehole, asshole • Both of you assholes knock it the fuck off and calm down! (Re se rvoir Dogs) • Half of them are nasty skanks who wouldn' t be shit if they weren't surrounded by a bunch of drunken horny assholes. I'm not gonna be one of those assholes. (Swinge rs) • 'L erner,' Madge said, 'is a se- nile Viennese asshole A nd he's a lech. ' (Robert S tone) • T o Hicks' utter astonishment, E ddie slapped him twice across the face. 'You nickel and dime asshole — don' t you dare threaten me with violence. ' (Robert S tone) bleeder (U K) • I don't know what in the world I shall do when you've all gone. P erhaps, in the Dean's eyes, I shall 'quieten down'. Fuck the bleeder. (P hilip L arkin) bugger • A timid, quaking little bugger who lived in constant fear of going broke some day — the 18 th of March perhaps, or the 25 th of May precisely. (Henry Miller) • When I said that O xford people were clever but mediocre, I meant the dons, dear boy, not the under- graduates. T he dons are the dreariest set of buggers it's ever been my lot to meet. (P hilip L arkin) • You crafty bugger. Fancy not letting on. (John McGrath) bullshit artist • I had known Bunny for several years now, and I knew that his only connec- tion to the record company ex- ecutives whose names he dropped with annoying regular- ity was in his capacity as their weekly supplier of weed. But I didn't dare tell Big K that Bunny was a bullshit artist. I assumed he would learn the truth in his own time. (Douglas Century) chickenshit • When the two po- licemen got to the wounded sus- pect and stood over him, he yelled in panic and shock, 'You shot me in the back, you chickenshit!' (Joseph Wambaugh) cock-knocker • He started it! Fucking cock-knocker! He's lucky I didn't put my pen through his thorax! (Chasing Amy) cocksucker • He insulted Billy. E DIT O RIA L S T A N L E Y E l Ingles P rohibido 61 www.FreeLibros.org And then I walked over to him politely and he tells me to go fuck myself. Then he called me a faggot. So what do you think I do? I threw that cocksucker out. (Casino) • Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's the sl imy little Communi st shit twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who j ust signed his own death warrant ? (Full Metal Jacket) • He had his pockets full of human finger bones. He ate his victims, the cocksucker. (Robert Stone) cunt • There was a sympathetic article about Kingsley in the lat- est 'Cambridge Review', which surprised me as I normally re- gard them as a pack of Cam- bridge cunts obsessed with Ted and Pound and so forth. (Philip Larkin) • Apparently the anthol- ogy is the right length, which is good, but there are howls at the omission of certain parties, prin- cipally McDiarmid or however the cunt spells his name. (Philip Larkin) • 'They're a right parcel of fuckin' cunts, thon boys.' He looked uneasily at the officer. 'If you'll excuse that class of talk, sir.' (Shaun Herron) • 'Well,' I said, 'I think all Americans are cunts.' (Joe Orton) • You stupid fucking cunt. You, Williamson... I'm talking to you, shithead... You just cost me six thousand dollars. (David Mamet) dickhead • If there is one thing in this world that I hate, it is an unl ocked f oot l oc ker ... If it wasn't for dickheads like you, there wouldn't be any thievery in this world. (Full Metal Jacket) • Each one of these counts hold twenty-f ive-to-lif e... Twenty- five fucking years, pal. Bye-bye, dickhead. See you in Attica. (GoodFellas) dipshit • He got up from his chair, walked to the door, and gently edged one of the curtains aside. 'What the fuck are those di pshi t s doing out t here?' (William Gibson) dork • —You guys look like... what do they look like, Jimmie? — Dorks. They look like a cou- ple of dorks. (Pulp Fiction) douche bag • That mot her- f ucker, he' s every ki nd of douche bag from full to empty. (Joseph Wambaugh) fink • Why do I have to shtup her, O.K.? Why am I the one to shtup her all the time? I can do to her no more, you fink! My legs are chapped. (Lenny Bruce) fuck • You're one sick f uck, Fink. (Barton Fink) • 'You stu- pid fuck,' Danskin said, 'people always say that to writers. Now he thinks you' re an asshole.' (Robert Stone) • Now, don't get smart with me, Bob, don't get smart with me, you young fuck, we've been sweating blood all day on this. (David Mamet) • 'Ya fuck, ya!' yelled Father Willie. 'Ya dirty slant-eyed heathen godless little fuck, ya!' (Joseph Wambaugh) fucker • I'm comin' outta here, and any fucker I see out there, I'm gonna kill him ... and any fucker takes a shot at me, I ain't j u st gonna kill him, but I' m gonna kill his wife and all his f ri ends and burn his f u c ki n' house, you hear? (Unforgiven) • I couldn't think of a f uckin' thing to say. I froze. The little fucker looked at me like I was a dummy. (Robert Stone) • When he kissed her neck, she shifted to give him a wasted smile. 'You're a funny little fucker,' she said. (Robert Stone) fuckface • Her favourite line of English prose is a masterpiece: 'Fuck my pussy, Fuckface, till I faint.' (Philip Roth) fuckhead • What was he? Some back-country fuckhead with a stethoscope. (Stephen King) fuckwit • Tell him to bugger off from me. Emotional f uc kwi t . (Helen Fielding) get, git (UK) • Where's that Flynn? He's gone as well, has he? Cheeky twit. I'll thump that get one of these days. Thinks he can get away with poxy murder — well he poxy can' t. (John Mc Grat h) • Whi l st I f uc ked Dave, Tills pulled himself off. Also, and I remember thinking, ' Kinky Irish Catholic get' , he kept smacking my buttocks. (Joe Orton) gobshite • And who the hell do you reckon to be your mates? If you imagine for one minute that either of those two rotten gobshites will think any the bet- ter of you, you' re dreaming. (John McGrath) jagoff • Why don't you take that fuckin' pen and shove it up your ass, you fuckin' jagoff? (Casino) • I come into the fuckin' office today, I get humiliated by some jagoff cop. (David Mamet) jerk, jerk-off (US) • You fuckin' moron, I'll be filling out paper work for the next two months be- cause of you, you fuckin' jerk-off. (Casino) mother (US) Short for mother- fucker. • — I wish he was a broad. It's so much easier to tail a broad. — Broad or not, he's one tough mother to tail. (Joseph Wambaugh) • You're on my list, mother! I'm going to get you, you dirty mother! You rotten bastard! Cocksucker! (Charles Bukowski) motherfucker (US) • Get this through you head, you Jew motherfucker, you. You only ex- ist out here because of me! That's the only reason! ... You're fuckin' warned! Don't ever go over my f uc ki n' head again! You motherfucker, you! (Casino) • AK-47, the very best there is. When you absolutely, positively, gotta kill every motherfucker in 62 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org the room, accept no substitute. (Jackie Brown) numbnuts (US) • What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?!! Di dn' t Mommy and Daddy show you e nough a t t e nt i on when you were a child?!! (Full Metal J a c k e t ) pissant (US) A despicable or in- significant person. • Yeah, I was the Kid. It got so t hat every pissant prairie punk who thought he could shoot a gun would ride into town to try out the Waco Kid. I must' ve killed more men than Cecil B. De Mille. (Blaz- ing Saddles) • Even if I did know, I wouldn' t tell a pissant like you. (Good Will Hunting) piss artist A loud-mouthed fool. • Things are so bad in the Eng- lish soccer squad that several comment at ors are, apparent l y wi t hout irony, recommending the recall of the Piss Artist For- merly Known As Gazza for the Poland match. (Guardian) • I imagine decades of piss-art- istry can't help leaving their mark on the character. (Kingsley Amis) prat (UK) • 'I mean, it's noth- ing. It's just some girl who's stu- pid enough to let me shag her for a couple of weeks.' 'What?' ex- ploded Sharon, beginning to turn pink. 'That's the most repulsive thing I've ever heard anyone say about a woman. Arrogant little prat!' (Helen Fielding) prick • How dare you try to lay a guilt trip on me about it! Who the fuck do you think you are, you judgmental prick! (Chasing Amy) • Then you're going to go off to Stanford, you' re going to marry some rich prick who your par- ents will approve of. (Good Will Hunting) putz • I can't really believe that Leila would do this. After all, she's an artist, a heroine, a femi- nist. Why would she let this putz abuse her? (Erica Jong) • 'You nasty little putz' the voice said, full of contempt and revulsion, 'you're enough to make anyone puke!' (William Styron) S.O.B., s.o.b. (US) Short for son of a bitch. • I couldn't have called him an s.o.b. — I didn't know he was one. At the time. (John F. Kennedy) • The S.O.B., he hates my father... You want to know why the S.O.B. hates my father? You want me to tell you? All right... I will now tell you why the S.O.B. hates my father. (Edward Albee) schmuck • Look, I'm not ask- ing for the world — I j ust don't see why I should get any less out of life than some schmuck like Oogie Pringle or Henry Aldrich. (Philip Roth) • Did you t hink you were a second Irvine Vibert, you schmuck? (Robert Stone) • Danskin, what a schmuck you are, what a contemptible idiot, what a f ucki ng fool . (Robert Stone) scrote • Scrotes! That's what all people are: ignorant filthy dis- gusting ugly worthless scrotes! Scrotes! (Joseph Wambaugh) • He believed implicitly that if you ever backed down even for a moment in deal i ng wi t h assholes and scrotes the entire structure of American law en- forcement would crash to the ground. (Joseph Wambaugh) scumbag • Captain Woofer said to send him a pair of grungy, ugl y, filthy, hairy, di sgust i ng, creepy scumbags who would fit in with the run-of-the-mill Hol- lywood street f ol ks. (Joseph Wambaugh) • Were you born a fat slimy scumbag, you piece of shit, Private Pyle? Or did you have to work on it? (Full Metal Jacket) • Long Beach Mike isn' t your amigo, he's a fuckin' scumbag. The piece of shit is selling out his real amigos, that's how much of a good fuckin' guy he is. (Res- ervoir Dogs) shagbag • John Heath-Stubbs is reading some of my poems at a meeting of shagbags in London next Friday. (Philip Larkin) shit • Much of the play's lack of success must be put down to the theme and to the undoubted fact that the general public are, where plays are concerned, ig- norant shits. (Joe Orton) 'You're too young to remember a bloody old fool and by the bye frightful shit called Bevan Hopkin who called the police in at a Renoir exhibition at the Trevor Knudsen — in 1953, not 1903. (Kingsley Amis) shitbag • When wi l l t hese sodding loudmout hed cunt i ng shitstuffed pisswashed sons of poxed-up bitches learn that there is something greater than litera- turel A bastard who can bastard well write bastard shit like that bastard well ought to be bastard well stuffed with broken glass, the bastard. 'For he taught as one having aut horit y, not like the shitbags and tossbottles'. (Philip Larkin) shithead • You know what is free enterprise? ... The freedom of the Indi vi dual to embark on Any Fucking Course that he sees fit in order to secure his honest chance to make a profit ... The country's founded on this ... Without this we're just savage shitheads in the wilderness. (David Mamet) • You shithead, you don't fuck with us, I'll kick your fuckin' head in. (David Mamet) slag (UK) • As sentence was an- nounced, the dead boy' s father shouted: 'I hope you rot in it, you slag.' (Daily Telegraph) sod (UK) • How kind of you to send me (your book about ) Arthur Wellard, and what a sod I am not to have written earlier. (Philip Larkin) EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 63 www.FreeLibros.org son of a bitch • I had to admire this fuckin' guy. He was one of the toughest Irishmen I ever met. This son of a bitch was tough. (Casino) tosser (UK) • — Which living person do you most admire? — No one really — they' re all tossers. (Guardian) • I've really enjoyed the people we' ve worked with on the whole, and that's rare. You normally come out of a production saying 'I'm glad to see the back of that bunch of tossers', but this wasn't like that at all. (Guardian) turd • Cutthroats and scumbags were coming out of the wood- work ... these guys were world class turds. And I'm sorry, but they got what they deserved. (Desperado) • All the freshmen are odious little turds indistin- guishable from Harris. (Philip Larkin) • I can drop the little turd off the Capitol Records Building, you want me to. (Joseph Wambaugh) • It's all right when little turds and turdettes, especially the latter, go on about exciting break- throughs in advertisements and arts pages. (Kingsley Amis) twat • When I got back home, Kenneth H. was in a rage. He'd written in large letters on the wall, 'JO E O RTO N is A S PINE LE S S TWAT'. (Joe O rton) • The editor liked them, but the paper' s coolly scathing stars had de- cided the band were a bunch of public-school twats fl i rti ng touristically with black Ameri- canisms. (Guardian) wanker (UK) • I went to Zim- babwe with my wanker boy- friend. (Naked) • As I lay I tried to block out the screams. I had enough problems without having to listen to that whi ni g wanker. His screams were beginning to annoy me. They were interrupt- ing my thoughts. They were in- creasing my fear. (Ken Lukowiak) • Well, fuck me. If it isn't one of our glorious leaders. I won- der what the fuck this mentally retarded wanker wants. (Ken Lukowiak) whoresmelt, hoor's melt (Irish) • But it was of Parnell that he spoke most: 'A king,' he called him, 'A hero who would have freed Ireland,' but for the opposi- tion of the black-hearted 'hoors' melts'. (S ean O 'Callaghan) 6. b arselicker -lameculos • The feuds do not end with his political opponents. Many have been with former friends. 'Kusturica is the greatest traitor to Bosnia,' one told me. Another said he was a 'war criminal, a Chetnik arselicker, a puppet of Milosevic... It makes me puke to think of him.' (Guardian) • Cracking good news about the election, what? I can hardly believe we've got that little shit and his team of arselicking crooks out of the way. (Philip Larkin) • I lose touch instantaneously with that ass- licking little boy who runs home after school with his A's in his hand, the over-earnest innocent endlessly in search of... his mother's approbation. (Philip Roth) • Las disputas no acaban con su oposici6n po- litica. Muchos han sido antiguos amigos. 'Kusturica es el mayor traidor de Bosnia,' me dijo uno. Otro dijo que era 'un criminal de gue- rra, un lameculos de Chetniks, una marioneta de Milosevic... Me dan ganas de vomitar al pensar en e1.' • Noticias cojonudas acerca de las elecciones, verdad? Casi no me puedo creer que haya- mos conseguido quitar del medio a ese mier- da y a su equipo de chorizos lameculos. • Pierdo contacto momentaneamente con ese chiquillo lameculos que corre a casa a la sali- da de la escuela con la cartilla en la mano, el pequeno inocente excesivamente serio, inter- minablemente consagrado a la btisqueda de,.. la aprobacion de su madre. RELATED TERMS: brown-nose • Nobody promotes an invisible employee. S tart to attend meetings. S ound positive. E xude confidence. Never brown-nose, though. S uckers- up inevitably end up being an embarrassment to all con- cerned and you may pick the wrong boss to toady around. (Guardian) • We could argue about whether a S upreme Court clerkship is evidence of bril- liance or j ust consummate 64 E l Ingles Prohibido E DITO RIAL S TANLE Y www.FreeLibros.org brown-nosing. (Salon) kiss somebody's ass • — He did that to me once. He tried to starve me. — I don't care. I'm not kiss- ing his ass. I'll quit or starve, any- thing. (Charles Bukowski) • Now and then I made some bad blun- ders, and if it weren't that I had learned how to kiss the boss's ass, I would have been fired, that's cer- tain. (Henry Miller) • This is the reality... you're not going to get your ass kissed here, because both me and Walt thi nk you suck. (Chasing Amy) suck somebody's ass • How he would have hated being a lieu- tenant and sitting at a desk and sucki ng some capt ai n' s ass. (Joseph Wambaugh) • Af t er sucki ng the boss' s ass for a whole week — it's the thing to do here — I managed to land Peckover's job. (Henry Miller) suck up to somebody • You shouldn't suck up to that woman. She' s got a dirty mi nd. Half the mothers in America, with their precious big pussies and their precious little daughters, half the mothers in America have dirty minds. Tell her to shove it. (Charles Bukowski) 6. c bitch -zorra, lagarta • There is not one loyal bone in that bitch's body. (David Mamet) • You haven't been straight with me ever since I met you! You never loved me in the first pla- ce! I need eyes in the back of my fuckin' head with you, you fuckin* bitch! (Casino) • He thinks we are the Bitch Queens from Hell — which is a misapprehension because, although we have discovered our Inner Bitches, we have not yet unlocked them. (Helen Fielding) • Wouldn't she often have to go to the John, and start unzipping her jeans in front of Al as she walked out of the room? She was just that kind of bitch, all right? (Joseph Wambaugh) • That last bitch he married never even saw to it that he had decent underwear. (Joseph Wambaugh) • If that loudmouth bitch was my old lady I'd kick her in the cunt. (Joseph Wambaugh) • No hay un solo hueso del que te puedas fiar en el cuerpo de esa zorra. • jNo has sido honesta conmigo desde que te conoci! Jamis me quisistes! Contigo, nece- sito ojos en la nuca, jputa zorra! • Cree que somos las Putas Reinas del Infierno; lo cual es un malentendido porque, pese a que ya hemos descubierto a la puta que llevamos dentro, todavia no las hemos liberado. • No tenia que ir con frecuencia al bano y se empezaba a bajarse la cremallera de los va- queros delante de Al al salir de la habitacidn? Era ese tipo de zorra, de acuerdo? • La ultima zorra con la que se caso ni siquie- ra se preoeupd de que tuviera calzoncillos de- centes. • Si esa puta bocazas fuera mi vieja, le daria una patada en el cono. SYNO NYMS: These are some of the more common abusive terms applied to women. As with the deprecatory terms used of men, these only rarely have a specific meaning over and above their value as insults. bag • ' And you do realise Middlemarch was originally a book, Bridget, don't you, not a soap?' I hate Perpetua when she gets like this. Stupid old fartarse bag. (Helen Fielding) cooze (US) • Let me tell you what 'Like a Virgin' is about. It's about some cooze who's a regu- lar fuck machine. I'm talking, morning, day, night, afternoon, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, di ck. (Reservoir Dogs) cow (UK) • Kenneth sniffed and his nose appeared to be about a foot long. ' Silly cow your agent, isn' t she? Don't you think so? That Peggy Ramsay? Silly cow.' (Joe O rton) • Jean's a right little cow, isn't she? (E.A. Whitehead) cunt • Beth Kramer's an aggres- sive, tight-assed, busybody cunt, and it's none of her fucking busi- ness how I speak to my son. (Deconstructing Harry) • I just had to kill Linda, Mr Vale, that EDITO RIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 65 www.FreeLibros.org — that cunt just got what she de- served. (Primal Fear) • Some- how I feel sorry as hell for her and yet I don' t give a damn. A cunt who can play as she does ought to have better sense than be t ri pped up by every guy with a big putz who happens to come along. (Henry Miller) • And your friend, Joan... that cunt was born in a car crash. (David Mamet) moo (UK) • The receptionist said, 'Well, I've nothing on my conscience.' She went into the di spensar y wi t h t he coffee. 'Silly moo,' Leonie said. (Joe Orton) • Some specced-up babe asked me if I didn' t feel insig- nificant alongside those writers who've had illness and death in- flicted upon them. Of course, I feel insignificant, you fucking moo. Even a cr ashi ng dung br ai n like Jer emy Cl ar kson could tell you that a sense of i nsi gni f i cance mi ght j us t be linked to suicidal tendencies. (Guardian) skank (US) • I spend half the night trying to talk to some girl whose eyes are darting around to see if there's someone more important she should be talking to... Some fuckin' skank who is half the woman my girlfriend is. (Swingers) slag (UK) • You tell people — well, men — your story and it's stored away and used against you. One said to me in a row: 'You are nothing but a slag and an easy lay and not even a good one for all the practice you' ve had.' (Guardian) slut • If you didn't want to go out with me anymore, why didn't you just say so? Instead you pus- syfoot around and see that slut be- hind my back! (Clerks) • You prick! You bast ar d! You sonofabitch! You think you' re dealing wi t h some old sl ut ? Look at me: t hi r t y- one! You think 'cause you're hung you can get away with this crap? (James Leo Herlihy) • You remember the slut roamed into Sears and had the baby in the rest room? She cut the cord with her finger- nails and just dumped the lit- tle toad in the trash and left it for the janitor to find next day. (Joseph Wambaugh) twat • I can't even give you the time of day without getting the look: oh shit, here comes another dumb and stupid remark out of that brainless twat. I say, 'It's five to seven,' and you think, 'How fucking dumb can she be!' Well, I'm not brainless, and I'm not a twat either, just because I didn' t go to fucking Harvard! (Philip Roth) 6. d bummer -conazo, latazo Slang, but neither obscene nor offensive. The word may be used of any bad experience, occasion, situation or place. Originally an unpleasant or depressing experience with LSD or other narcotic. • — As you can see, it is a ransom note. Sent by cowards. Men who are unable to achieve on a level field of play. Men who will not sign their names. Weaklings. — Bummer. (The Big Lebowski) We read of Saul that 'when he stood among the people, he was higher than any of the people from his shoulders and upward.' As a king, Saul turned out to be a bummer; but never mind, he sure was tall. (Tom Ferrell) • For Deadheads, the death of Jerry Garcia last week was one big bummer, man. (New York Times) • The adolescent does away with the concreteness and complexity of his experience, and substitutes instead his own primitive abstractions. Everything is 'groovy' or 'a bummer.' (Anatole Broyard) • — Como puedes ver, es una nota de rescate. Enviada por cobardes. Hombres incapaces de tener exito en un campo de juego igualado. Hombres que no firmarian con sus nombres, Debiles. — Que rollo. • Leimos acerca de Saul que 'cuando estaba entre los suyos, era mas alto que cualquiera, les sacaba la cabeza.' Como rey, Saul resulto ser un enano; pero es igual, si que era alto. • Para los seguidores del grupo musical Los Deadheads, la muerte de Jerry Garcia la se- mana pasada fue un mazazo, colega. • El adolescente se deshace de lo especifico y complejo de su experieneia, y lo sustituye por sus propias abstracciones primitivas. Todo es 'dabuten' o 'un cofiazo'. 66 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org S Y N O N Y M S : The following words, which we have already seen applied to people, can also be used to describe or address the unpleasantly non-human: objects, events, experiences, concepts, problems, etc. bastard • The only thing wrong with the present is the bastard doesn' t exi st . Because t he present is the f ut ure ... It' s a cons t ant process of comi ng into being and passing away. (Naked) • I poked the achi ng t oot h. ' Bast ar d. ' It made it wor se. The pain made me fall to my knees. I pulled my mout h to a tap and swi l l ed it wi t h cold water. 'Y ou f ucki ng bastard.' (Ken Lukowiak) bitch • It was rough terrain and the going was hard. From the map it was obvious that the last few miles were going to be a bitch. (James Laffan) bugger • I think I could've prob- ably managed to convince them if I hadn' t had this bugger of a toothache. I had to clench my j aws every t i me i t t hrobbed. (John O gilby) fucker • Here's the really men- tal f uckin' thing, when we were on the boat goi n' down and comi n' back agai n, we were ear ni n' more f ucki ng money than when we were on the Is- l ands r unni ng ar ound and blowin' away the f uckin' Argies. I mean, you know, how the fuck do they work that f ucker out? (Ken Lukowiak) motherfucker • He shows M a- rino a long, ugly scratch on his arm. He says: 'Can you fucking bel i eve t hat ? Look at t hi s mot herf ucker' . (Casino) 66.e clap -gonorrea From Old French clapoir, a venereal bubo or swelling. • Do you know he has a drippy faucet?... I happen to know that in Hollywood patrol right now the clap's as common as a head cold. (Joseph Wambaugh) • Barbers — cutters of beards — were a traditional male enclave. And, going back to the N orman barber-surgeon, they specialised in male requirements and ailments: prophylactics and clap. "Will there be anything else, sir?' the hairdresser would delicately inquire, as he brushed the clippings off your shoulders. (Guardian) * M rs S chekner, you got the clap. Little discharge, dear. Tell you what, we're gonna give you a little, ah, vitamin-booster, a little penicillin. (Lenny Bruce) * I can say this now, hand on heart, honest to God and hope to catch the clap if I'm lying. (Ken Lukowiak) • Sabes que ha pillado una infeccion vene- rea?... S e, de hecho, que ahora mismo en la patrulla de Hollywood la infeccion venerea es tan conun como el catarro. • Los barberos — los que cortaban las barbas — eran tradicionalmente hombres. Y , regre- sando a los barberos-cirujanos normandos, se especializaban en los requisites y las dolen- cias masculinas; profilacticos e infecciones venereas. 'Alguna cosa mas, senor?' solia pre- guntar el peluquero con delicadeza, mientras te cepillaba el pelo de los hombros. • S eflora S chekner, tiene usted una enferme- dad venerea. N o hay duda, querida. M ire, le vamos a dar una pequena... ayuda vitaminica, un poco de penicilina. • Esto lo puedo deck ahora, con el corazdn en la mano, lo juro por Dios y que contraiga una in- feccion venerea si miento. RELATED TERMS: a dose • Any venereal infection. • S he's riddled with pox. I know f our blokes who' ve copped a dose from her. (Bill Turner) • Don' t Give A Dose To The O ne Y ou Love M ost . ( N ew Y ork Daily N ews) crabs An infestation of crab lice in the pubic area. • — I haven' t f ucked anybody else! I got it EDITO RIAL S TAN LEY El Ingles Prohibido 67 www.FreeLibros.org from Y O U ! Y ou' re a carrier, a dis- ease ridden slut! — What? — The cr abs, the cr abs, you gave m e t he C R A B S ! ( C ha r l e s B uko wski ) • I happen to know he' s pr a cti ca lly r a i si ng cr abs. A st e no wo r k s Ho l l y w o o d ni g ht wa t c h to ld me. He ha s t he m i n hi s a r m p i t s e v e n. (Joseph Wa mba ugh) jack (A ustr.) R hyming slang of jack in the box and pox. • Got ma la r i a , ber iber i, ma lnutr i ti o n and pr o ba bl y a dose of j a ck . (Mar tin Medcalf) pox (U K) • No clap, no cha n- cres, no syphilis: I have never suf f er ed f r o m pox of any de- sc r i pt i o n. I a l wa y s t a ke ex- t r e m e c a r e no t t o . ( J o hn McGr a t h) • Hey, yo ur gums are r o tti ng. B loody hell, he' s got syphilitic teeth. Look at that. Look, it' s tr ue, i sn' t it? Here — how do you manage to catch pox there then — you dir ty bastar d (John McGr a th) • How' r e you liking bei ng f i f t y? R otten decade f or me... Thi r ti es and f or ties were a l l r i g ht . A s f o r t he si xt i e s, well, 'Y er ca n' t get pox, Inside a wooden box.' (Phi li p La r ki n) syph, siph, siff A bbr evi a ti o n of syphilis, but sometimes, as in the f ir st exa mple, used in a wi der sense. • B eing a f ul l man i n ma cho whi t e A t l a nt a i n- cludes ma ki ng f un of the A IDS B a l l . ' Le t ' s R i f f f o r S y ph! ' Wolf e wr ites. (S alon) • Why don' t you tell us about that time you got sif f f r om yo ur nigger maid? (C harles Willingham) 6. f crud -porquena In Middle English the word meant 'coagulated milk', later it was used to describe dried semen. Now it denotes any substance perceived as loathsome — vomit, pus, slime, etc. — or, figuratively, anything which is markedly inferior. • Let' s clean him up. Feather stone, do something, will you? Get some of the crud off him, before it hardens. (John McGrath) . Mr. Le C oze said the non-stick cookware was wonderful for cooking fish. S o I bought my first pan. A nd it was good, for a very short while. Then it started to accumulate blackened crud.(Guardian) • Trashy tourist attractions ('acres of modern crud', as Horwitz puts it) are a blot on the contemporary S outh's landscape. (New Y ork Times) » — What if she's carrying a disease?—Y ou're such a fucking asshole. — What? O h, it's not possible that she's all crudded up? ... That bitch could be a bigger fucking germ farm than that monkey in Outbreak! (Chasing Amy) • I burst into a fit of coughing. Half strangling on the goo and crud of threescore daily C amels, I was surprised that I was coherent at all. (William S tyron) • Vamos a limpiarle. Featherstone, haz algo, quieres? Limpiale esa mierda, antes de que se endurezca. • El senor Le C oze dijo que las sartenes de teflon eran maravillosas para cocinar pesca- do. A si que compr6 mi primera sarten. Y estuvo bien, durante un tiempo muy corto. Despues empez6 a acumular mierda enne- grecida. • A tr acciones deplor a bles para tur i sta s ('acres de mierda moderna', segun Horwitz) son un manchon sobre el paisaje contem- pordneo del sur. • — Que pasa si esta in fectada? — Eres un puto gilipollas. — Que A h, no es posible que este llena de mierda? ... Esa zorra podria ser una puta granja de germenes may ores que el mono ese en Estallidol • Empece a toser violentamente. Medio aho- gandome con toda la mierda de treinta y tan- tos C amels diarios, me sorprendid que fuera en lo mas minimo coherente. 68 El Ingles Pr ohibido EDITO R IA L S TA NLEY www.FreeLibros.org S Y N O N Y M S : dreck • Underworld is among other things a witty and dramatic meditation on excreta, voidance, leavings, garbage, j unk, slag, dreck. (M artin Amis) • He is be- ing pestered by an aspiring au- thor of science fiction dreck named M ilo Levi-N athan. (M ar- tin Amis) glop (US ) • Plates, floors, even the pockets of our corduroy jackets were soon encrusted with a white glop that could have afforded ar- chaeologists a lifetime of explo- ration. (Pico Iyer) gook • The old woman wiped a string of gook off her arm and, grabbing the doctor's surgical scissors, clipped the umbilical cord herself. (Aimee Bender) • We are ankl e-deep in M r. Clinton's own character-gook. We are trapped in his own sick decision to risk the Presidency for back-office sex with a sub- ordinate. (N ew Y ork Times) grot • M inisters reel off trium- phant statistics about employ- ment, hospital lists, the mini- mum wage and family benefits. But voters who are out of work or in low-paid exploitative jobs, living in grot, and surrounded by evidence of greed and massive social disparity, don't care for statistics much. (Guardian) gunge (UK) • Ventilation ducts are not cleaned. There is all sorts of gunge in them, including dead pigeons, which affects people's circulation rates. (Guardian) gunk • Defaced by time, pigeon gunk and insensitive landlords eager to remove potential liabili- ties, N ew Y ork's once abundant crop of architectural stonework has suffered countless indigni- ties. (Andrew Jacobs) 6. g cruddy -asqueroso The adjective from crud, meaning nasty, disgusting, loathsome, repellent. • Prostitution, pornography, drugs —Dublin's fair city is looking pretty cruddy in 'The Good Life', John Brady's latest novel. The polluted canal where a prostitute's beaten body is washed up bears witness to the city's degradation. (N ew Y ork Times) •* I can sit in a diner or a cruddy little restau- rant halfway across the country, and there will be people in the booth next to me, and because I'm a woman of a certain age they'll say anything as if no one were there. People will say absolutely outrageous, incredible things. (E. Annie Proulx) • La prostitucion, la pornografia, las dro- gas — la bella ciudad de Dublin se ve bastante llena de mierda en 'La buena vida', la ultima novela de John Brady. El canal contaminado donde aparece el cuerpo machacado de una pros- tituta es testigo de la degradacidn de la ciudad. • Puedo estar sentada en un cafe o en un res- taurante de mierda a medio camino del otro lado del pais, y habra gente en la mesa a mi lado, y porque soy una mujer de una cierta edad dirain cualquier cosa como si no estuvie- ra. La gente dira cosas ultrajantes, cosas in- crefbles. S Y N O N Y M S : grotty • He used to live on acid and M ars bars in a grotty squat. N ow he sips bubbly with M a- donna (Guardian) icky • — He ate you out? Did you like it? — Well... I don't know — it was weird. At first it felt icky, then it felt kind of okay. (Cruel Intentions') scuzzy • With more and more people working from home or buying books and clothes on the internet rather than schlepping to the high street, we are becom- ing increasingly home-based. But this doesn' t mean we' re hanging out in scuzzy old track- suits. We're more likely to be padding around in a little latte- coloured cashmere sweater and fleece dr awst r i ng t r ouser s. (Guardian) yucky • And kids have a natu- ral rel uctance to t hink about their parents' sex lives. Any question you answer will prob- ably conjure up images of you nude and passionate — yuck. EDITO RIAL S TAN LEY El Ingles Prohibido 69 www.FreeLibros.org (Salon) • He came bounding into the room and straight away did a Barry Manilow, that ever-so- yucky trick of finding an enthu- siastic stranger in the audience and pointing a finger and saying 'Hi!', thus exuding a warmth that does not, in cold fact, exist. (Guardian) 6. h arsehole of the earth, etc -el culo del mundo The terms in this section refer to places perceived as disagreeable or of markedly inferior quality. • Well, sir, I'm 8,000 miles from home, in a place that has already proved itself to be the arsehole of the earth. Four of my friends are dead, I'm up to my neck in shit, mud and water... How the fuck do you think I feel, shit for brains? (Ken Lukowiak) • Just the thing for a bloody rainy chilly afternoon in this arsehole of East Riding. (Philip Larkin) • 'Why would anybody in his right mind go to Midland City?' the driver wanted to know. 'Midland City is the asshole of the universe'. (Kurt Vonnegut Jr.) • Bueno, senor, estoy a 8.000 millas de casa, en un lugar que ya ha demostrado ser el culo del mundo. Cuatro de mis amigos estan muer- tos, estoy hasta el cuello de mierda, barro y agua... Como cono crees que me siento, gilipollas? • Justo lo que hace falta en una jodida tarde fria y mojada en este culo del mundo de East Riding. • ' A quien, en su sano juicio, se le puede ocurrir ir a Midland City?' — quiso saber el camionero. 'Midland City es el culo del mundo.' SY N O N Y MS: shithole • Which one of you fuckers owns this shithole? Y ou there, fat man, speak up. (Unforgiveh) • 'This place? The cleanest?' said John Y oung, 62, who runs a flower stall outside the Mander Shopping Centre. ' N o, you got on the wr ong train, mate. Y ou want Winches- ter or Warminster. This is Wol- verhampt on. It' s a shithole.' (Guardian) dump • She's a housewife... And she comes in, and she looks around, and she puts her grocer- ies down, and she says, 'What a dump!' (Edward Albee) • — Get your clothes on and let's blow this dump. — Where to? — Any- where. N el l ' s. The garbage scow. Connecticut. (Erica Jong) hole • Y est erday t hey were fi ght i ng again, but it's quiet today. I'm ready to go back, bombs and all. It's better than this hole. (Guardian) pisshole • Come on, Billy. She isn't going to come. Let's get out of this pisshole and back down to the boozer. (John O gilby) sewer • I hate it! I hate N ew Y ork! I don't ever want to go back to that sewer! (Philip Roth) it sucks -es una mierda (US) The verb suck is used intransitively to denote anything unpleasant, distasteful, rebarbative or worthless. The expression is sometimes expanded to it sucks like an Electrolux, referring to an early vacuum cleaner. • We're going to spend half the night driving around the hills looking for one party and then leaving 'cause it sucks. Then we're going to look for this other party you heard about. But, Trent, all the parties and bars, they all suck. (Swingers) • Vamos a pasarnos la mitad de la noche con- duciendo por las colinas buscando una fiesta y luego marchandonos porque es una mierda. Entonces vamos a ir a buscar esta otra fiesta que te han comentado. Pero, Trent, todas las fiestas y los bares, son una mierda. 70 El Ingles Prohibido EDITO RIAL STAN LEY www.FreeLibros.org « Just remember one thing: it can't get any worse, it can only get better. I mean, high school is the bottom. Being a teenager sucks. But that's the point, surviving it is the whole point. (Pump Up the Volume) * Emmie, I hate my life. My life sucks. I am totally fucked. Or not fucked. I am in such pain. (Erica Jong) • Solo acuerdate de una cosa; no puede em- peorar, solo puede mejorar. Es decir, el insti- tuto es lo peor. Ser un adolescente es una mierda. Pero de eso se trata, de sobrevivir, eso es preeisamente de lo que se trata. • Emmie, odio mi vida. Mi vida es una mier- da. Estoy completamente jodida. Bueno, jodida no. Estoy dolorida. RELATED TERMS: gross, gross out (US) Gross is the adjective and means dis- gusting. The verb to gross out means to disgust or to be dis- gusted. • I ain't in favor of kiddy porn, you understand. Makes me wanna barf. Some of those little girls and boys, eight, nine years old. I had some tricks once, they had to see that stuff before I could make them come off. I almost grossed out. I never take a trick a second time if he makes me watch kiddy porn. (Joseph Wambaugh) • -I'm serious, he just yanked it out and showed it to me. You know, like the Presi- dent did to that woman. — Gross. — It wasn't gross. It was kind of cool. (American Beauty) • — I bet he's got a big dick. — You are so grossing me out. (American Beauty) be the pits (US) To be the most loathsome place or situ- ation imaginable. • Asked what new Davis Cup captain John McEnroe might have been say- ing after a performance like his first two sets today, Sampras replied: 'You're play- ing like the pits of the world.' (New York Times) EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 71 www.FreeLibros.org EXERCISE In each of the following lists, all the words are synonymous except one. Spot the odd man out and explain why the word in question is misplaced. 1. (a) cow (b) cunt (c) bummer (d) bag (e) slut (f) slag 2. (a) asshole (b) cocksucker (c) dipshit (d) brown-nose (e) fuckhead (f) fucker 3. (a) bastard (b) bitch (c) fucker (d) motherfucker (e) bugger (f) slut 4. (a) piss artist (b) prick (c) shithole (d) gobshite (e) jerk-off (f) schmuck 5. (a) scumbag (b) shit (c) tosser (d) scrote (e) bitch (f) twat 6. (a) pox (b) pisshole (c) jack (d) clap (e) a dose (f) syph 7. (a) slag (b) grot (c) gook (d) grunge (e) dreck (f) crud EXERCISE 6.2 Here are some less common idiomatic and slang terms related to unpleasantness. Try to identify the subject to which each group of terms refers. 1. active citizens, crotch crickets, gentlemen's companions, neighbours to the south, pants rabbits, seam squirrels 2. yuck, schmutz, ook, scunge, scuzz 3. coachman on the box, French gout, Irish mutton, Ladies' fever, lifelong friend, Neapolitan bone ache, Old Joe, Spanish needle, the old dog 4. eurner, gleet, glim, haircut, Lulu, morning drop, stank cock, strain EXERCISE 6.3 Translate the following sentences into English. 1. Que...? Reconoces que lo hiciste a proposito, cacho cabron? 2. Limpiar este homo es muy jodido. 3. Lo siento, tienes una infeccion venerea. 4. No hay un solo hueso del que te puedas fiar en el cuerpo de esa zorra. 5. Estuvo bien, durante algun tiempo. Despues empezo a acumular mierda ennegrecida. 6. jEstas en mi lista, cabron! Te voy a romper el culo! 7. A quien se le puede ocurrir ir alli? Es el culo del mundo. 8. Mi idea era la de vagar por ahi sin hacer nada, esquivando siempre al patron y evitando a los lameculos que podian chivarse. 9. Quiero que recuerdes que ningun bastardo gano una guerra al morir por su pais. 10. Que pasa si esta infectada? Es posible que este llena de mierda. 11. Esta mierda de pintura no hay quien la quite. 12. El instituto es lo peor. Ser un adolescente es una mierda. 13. La ultima zorra con la que se caso ni siquiera se preocupo de que tuviera calzoncillos decentes. 14. Se especializaban en los requisitos y las dolencias masculinas: profilacticos e infecciones venereas. 15. ;Tu no me mereces, zorra! jBueno, se acabo! Fuera! 16. Es un lameculos, nada mas. Me dan ganas de vomitar al pensar en el. 17. La prostitucion, la pornografia, las drogas — la ciudad se ve llena de mierda. 18. Maldicion! No podia volver sin el recibo firmado! Los cabrones siempre pedian firmas para todo. 19. Odio la vida que llevo. Mi vida es una mierda. Estoy completa- mente jodida. 20. Una botella de whisky — justo lo que hace falta en una jodida tarde Ma y mojada en este culo del mundo. 72 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY 6.1 www.FreeLibros.org EXERCISE 6.4 Scandinavian Splatch gives a whole new meaning to the expression 'dirty movie'. The opening scene sets the tone. It shows a couple of Swedish nurses in immaculate uniforms pouring buckets of fudge-coloured gook over each other's heads. This means they have to go and get cleaned up, so, big surprise, soon we find them frolicking naked in the tub together. Only thing is, the tub isn't full of water but of some nameless yellow gunk, possibly semi- melted butter. There's an outdoor mud scene too. Whatever happens, the characters, if they can be called that, always get wet and messy in their dressy clothes first, then proceed to nudity while being gunged at every stage. Blue goo is poured over their bodies, pink goo is poured over their bodies, diesel oil is poured over their bodies, and on and on. Whenever the pace seems to be slacking, yucky viscous dreck descends from on high. Meanwhile female masturbation provides an important thematic counterpoint. A redheaded model gets messy in her clothes with a large bowl of multi-coloured, pudding-consistency glop, rubbing it into her outfit, then into herself. She gets cleaned up, changes into lingerie, then creams herself off all over again, this time with the aid of some tan-coloured cake-mix and a dildo. Another scene involves two girls, one of whom spoons white gunge into the other's wide-open beaver and then licks it out. Male characters likewise pour variegated syrups and creams and globs of unidentifiable glop over their standing schlongs, a measure that proves irresistible to the hungry nurses, models and museum tour guides. Perhaps it all has some kind of ecological significance. In short, if you like to see nice clothes being ruined, good food being wasted, and well-endowed bodies being licked and sucked and fondled and fucked, Scandinavian Splatch is the one for you. From a review in Tenedor by Gabriella T. Oldfield Using what you have learned in this chapter and in the preceding exercises and what you can guess from the context, find words or phrases in the above passage corresponding to these descriptions: 1. Six synonyms for disgusting semi-liquid substances. 2. One term for a disgusting semi-liquid substance used (unusually) as a verb. 3. An adjective meaning disgusting. 4. A phrasal verb meaning to masturbate, used especially of a woman. 5. A noun meaning an object shaped like an erect penis used for sexual stimulation. 6. A slang word for vagina. 7. A slang word for penis. 8. A verb meaning to do the sex act with someone. EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 73 www.FreeLibros.org 7: I N C O M P E T E N C E , I N F E R I O R Q U A L I T Y 7. a fuck up -cagar, cagada, capullo As a verb, it means to make a serious mistake; to spoil or to ruin. As a noun, it means the mistake itself, the situation resulting from the mistake, or a totally incompetent person. • I fucked up, Frankie. I fucked up good this time. Should never have started with this fuckin* broad. I'm in a bad fuckin' spot here. You know that? Bad fuckin' spot. (Casino) » What you're hired for is to help us — does that seem clear to you? To help us. Not to fuck us up...to help men who are going out there to try to earn a living. You fairy. You company man... (David Mamet) • They fuck you up, your mum and dad; They may not mean to, but they do. (Philip Larkin) • What are rockets? I mean, they're just big metal pricks! You know, I mean, the bastards aren't satisfied with fuckin' the earth up — they gotta fuck space and all. (Naked) • Spud had done well. I was proud of him. He fucked up good and proper. (Trainspotting) • I hate doing the dishes. It fucks up my nails. (GoodFellas) • This was his nightmare. The dodgiest scam in a lifetime of dodgy scams being perpetrated with three of the most useless and unreliable fuck-ups in town. (Trainspotting) • That was about as fucked up a come-on as I ever sat still for,' she told him. (Robert Stone) » They say the world is coming to an end. They say that's why it's so fucked up. (Robert Stone) • La jodf, Frankie. La jodf de verdad esta vez. Nunca debf de empezar con esta puta zorra. Estoy francamente jodido. Lo sabes? Fran- camente jodido. • Se te contratd para ayudarnos - esti claro? Para ayudarnos. No para jodernos... para ayu- dar a hombres que van a salir a intentar ganarse la vida. M aricdn, Funcionario... Te joden, tu madre y tu padre; Puede que no sea su intencidn, pero lo hacen. • Que son los cohetes? Digo yo que, jsdlo son grandes penes metalicos! Ya sabes, esos bastardos no se contentan con joder la tierra - tienen que joder el espacio. • Spud habia hecho bien. Estaba orgulloso de e1. La jodi6 como Dios manda. • Odio lavar los platos. Me jode las unas. • Esto era su pesadilla. La movida mas jodida en toda una vida de movidas jodidas iba a ser perpetrada por tres de los colgados mas intiti- les y menos de fiar de todo el pueblo, • 'Eso es el intento de ligar mas jodido que jam£s he visto,' le dijo. • Dicen que el mundo va llegando a su fin. Dicen que por eso estd tan jodido. SY N O N Y M S: balls up Both a verb and a noun. • T his evening I painted the sight of the garden from the dining room window in water colours. T his started all right in a vicar's- daughter way but finished as rather a balls up. (P hilip L arkin) banjax A verb only. • L ast year's copyright infringement action against The Full Monty by playwrights Stephen Sinclair and A nthony M cC arten was at least partially banjaxed by de- fence attorney Bert F ields de- claring 'it's a shame to try to hurt a wonderful film like this, even if you think it was stolen'. (Guardian) bollix, bollox A verb, sometimes followed by up. • Gore did not boast to anyone, off the record or not, about being a model for O liver in Love Story. A T ennes- see newspaper first noted the Love Story connection, which the New Y ork Times proceeded to bollix up. (Salon) • But the trouble with traveling like a backpacker is that you' ve got to make difficult choices about lodgings, sightsee- ing and transportation at every 74 E l I ngles P rohibido E DI T O R I A L ST A N L E Y www.FreeLibros.org step along the way — which would bollix me up. Once I've cobbled my trip together and set of f , I try to cut loose and enjoy. (New York Times) bugger up • If you take your eyes off the ball for even a frac- tion of a second, you'll bugger up the approach shot, and then you have absolutely no chance of making the volley you want. (Roy Logan) cock up A verb and a noun. • He is a piece of slimy refuse, incapable of carrying out the simplest murder without cock- ing it up. (Peter Cook) • I no longer associate Spring with daffodils and fresh-mown grass and the prospect of cricket; it is what I endure for hours on end when there has been yet another cock-up over my mobile phone account. (Guardian) make a balls of something • Mrs Thatcher made a terrible balls of trying to bring the gov- ernment down, but I still think she's all right. (Philip Larkin) make a hen's arse of something (Irish) • With a useless wanker like that it hardly matters what job you give him. You just know he's going to make a hen's arse of it. (James Laffan) screw up • I mean that doctors and prof essional men are the most arrogant and incompetent witnesses at any criminal pro- ceedings and that they'll screw up your case for sure. (Joseph Wambaugh) • Cecile attempts the A minor scale, f ucking up badly. Kathryn enters and shud- ders in silence. Cecile tries again and once again screws up. (Cruel Intentions) sod up • The last f our months have been f ucked up by poor Monica getting shingles... It is a particularly nasty sort — her- pes ophthalmicus — has sodded up her left eye so that she sees double. (Philip Larkin) 7. b | fuck about (around) -perder el tiempo, joder To behave foolishly, especially in a time-wasting or distracting way. • Look, will you stop fuckin' about? If you're gonna stick the boot in, will you get on with it? (Naked) « Will you stop fuckin' about and fidgetin' in my peripherals — I'm trying to concentrate. . thought, 'Wow! Clearly this is the result of some fantastic thinking.' But sadly it wasn't so. Called upon to explain or defend themselves, they couldn't. They were just fucking around, basically — which I thought was a waste of time. (Guardian) • Mira, deja de joderla por ahi. Si vas a darme de hostias, hazlo de una vez. • Podrias dejar de joder por ahi y estarte quie- to en mis cercanfas — estoy intentando con- centrarme. • Pensd, ' lncrefble! Claramente, este es el re- sultado de algun proceso de pensamiento fan- tlstico.' Pero, por desgracia, no fue asi. Al pedirles una explicacion o que se defendie- sen, no pudieron. S61o estaban haciendo el gilipollas, basicamente — lo cual, pense que era una perdida de tiempo, SYNONYMS: arse about • I remember with envy the evenings we used to have about a year ago: certain percentage of creative arsing- about. (Philip Larkin) • Why Mrs Thatcher is arsing round China now I can't imagine, ex- cept that it's a well to keep an eye on all these f orei gners. (Philip Larkin) bugger about (UK) • Just pack it in! Stop it! Stop buggering about! Will you keep still?! (Na- ked) • Let's not bugger around being polite. (John Wainwright) fart about • A man, he walks in here, well-dressed ... comes into a j unkshop looking f or coi ns. He f ar t s ar ound, he picks up this, he f arts around, he pi cks up t hat . ( Davi d Mamet) • We got a big prob- lem we'r e t r yi ng t o solve. Now, would you like to sit down and help us solve it, or do you two want to piss f art around? (Reservoir Dogs) • I fart about at College, drink lit- tle, read rather too much. . . (Philip Larkin) piddle about • Where on earth does the time go? I seem to just piss it away, piddling about do- ing everyt hi ng and not hi ng. EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 75 www.FreeLibros.org (Arnold Littledale) piss about • I piss about spend- ing money, doing housework, tossing myself off (to put it crudely), and listening to Those Awful Blaring Jazz Things. (Philip Larkin) play silly buggers (UK) •I' m sure none of this had anything to do with the supposed threat to our privacy. It was our God- given right to play silly bug- gers that was threatened, and the nation responded magnificently. (Keith Waterhouse) 7. c I snafu -metedura de pata, cagada Originally a US services' term, formed from the first letters of 'situation normal, all fucked up' (or, in a politer version 'all fouled up'), the word can be used as either noun or verb. Related, less common terms are: fubar ('fucked up beyond all recognition'), fubb ('fucked up beyond belief), fumtu ('fucked up more than usual'), janfu ('joint army-navy fuck-up'), sapfu ('surpassing all previous fuck-ups'), and tarfu ('things are really fucked up'). As the examples demonstrate, snafu is now a completely respectable word. It is usually employed as a noun but also increasingly as a verb. • Bill Gates said that small businesses and any organisation using older computer systems could still face bug-related problems in the weeks ahead. 'There are lots of snafus that we haven't seen yet. There is still a little bit of a mess there that will have to be cleaned up.' (Guardian) • Every now and then something snafus and there is one hell of a mess. (John Grady) • My arrangements seemed snafued. I guess the lines got crossed. (G. Markstein) • The Turkish barbed wire was hard to cut. Watches had not been synchronized. And the Turks were up above the beach, firing down at anything that moved. Snafu is what we nowadays call such a shambles. (New York Times) • Yesterday's events appeared to be a large- scale public relations snafu. (New York Times) • What was it about the Second World War that moved the troops to constant verbal subversion and contempt... devising SNAFU, with its offspring TARFU, FUBAR, and the perhaps less satisfying FUBB? It was not just the danger and fear... It was the conviction that optimistic publicity and euphemism had rendered their experience so falsely that it would never be readily communicable. (Atlantic Monthly) • Bill Gates dijo que las pequenas empresas y cualquier organizacion que este usando un sis- tema de ordenador viejo podria tener proble- mas con virus en las pr6ximas semanas. 'Hay muchas meteduras de pata que aun no hernos visto. Aum hay un pequeno desmadre que ha- brfi que arreglar.' • De vez en cuando, alguien la caga y hay un jodido desmadre. • Han metido la pata con mis planes. Supon- go que hubo un cruce de lineas • El alambre de puas turco era diffcil de cor- tar. Los relojes no habian sido sincronizados. Y los turcos estaban en la playa, disparando a todo el que se moviera. 'Una cagada' asi es como hoy en dia llamamos a semejante de- sastre. • Los acontecimientos de ayer parece que fue- ron una cagada de relaciones ptiblicas a gran escala. • Que es lo que durante la segunda guerra mundial llevo a las tropas a la constante subversi6n verbal y al desprecio... creando la palabra "cagada", con su prole TARFU, FUBAR y quizas el menos satisfactorio FUBB? Era la conviccidn de que la publi- cidad optimista y el eufemismo habian dado una imagen tan falsa de su experiencia que nunca se podrfa comunicar con facilidad. 76 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org 7. d half-arsed, half-assed -muy poco brillante The word has three basic meanings: of low quality, bad, inferior, unsatisfactory; ineffectual, incompetent; foolish, stupid. • Do you mean to tell me that while you have zero problem with me sleeping with half the women in New York city, you have some sort of half-assed mealy-mouthed objection to pubescent antics that took place almost ten years ago? What the fuck is your problem? (Chasing Amy) • I've got no reason to believe that if he found himself in the mayor's chair he wouldn't con- tinue to extrude half-arsed ideas. (Guardian) • We were just an ordinary vanful of people pressed together tightly in the darkness, laughing at some half-assed joke, rumbling home from a party on a steamy summer night. (Douglas Century) • Me quieres decir que mientras que no te im- porta que me haya acostado con la mitad de las mujeres de Nueva York, tienes algiin tipo de objecidn mal expuesta y patetica a trave- suras propias de adolescentes que ocurrieron hace casi diez anos? Cual es tu jodido pro- blema? • No tengo motivos para creer que si se en- contrara en la silla del alcalde, no continuaria patrocinando ideas de mierda. • S61o eramos un grupo ordinario de gente que viajaba en una furgoneta, apretujados en la os- curidad, riendonos de chistes idiotas, camino de casa despues de una fiesta en una calida noche de verano. 7. e shitty -de mierda Depending on the context, the word can have a wide range of meanings: insignificant; of poor quality; tedious and unpleasant; futile; malicious, nasty; unwell. • Another thing he will make sure of, he says, is that his kids know how privileged they are. 'They won't grow up in a shitty council house with no money, but they'll have a pretty good idea what it's like, because I've been there.' (Guardian) • I didn't say I wasn't gonna do it, I just remarked on how shitty the situation is! (Reservoir Dogs) • You want to go back to your shitty little existence? Go ahead, leave. There's the door. No one's stopping you. (Swimming With Sharks) • You're so obsessed with making everything seem so much more epic, so much more important than it really is. Christ, you work in a convenience store, Dante. And badly, I might add. I work in a shitty video store, badly as well. (Clerks) • De otra cosa que se asegurara, dice, es de que sus hijos sepan lo privilegiados que son. 'No se criaran en una mierda de vivienda de proteccion oficial sin dinero pero ten- dran una idea de lo que es eso, porque ya me toc6 a mi.' • No dije que no lo iba a hacer. S61o mencio- ne lo jodida que esta situacion! • Quieres regresar a tu pequena jodida exis- tencia? Adelante, marchate. Ahi tienes la puer- ta. Nadie te lo impide. • Estas tan obsesionado con hacer que todo parezca mucho mas epico, mucho mas impor- tante de lo que es. !Jesus!, trabajas en una tienducha, Dante. Y de mala manera, anadi- rfa. Yo trabajo en un video club de mierda, y tambien de rnala manera. EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 77 www.FreeLibros.org S Y N O N Y M S : chickenshit Cowardly; petty, insignificant. • The choice was made and there was nothing to be had from chickenshit specu- lation. The roshis were right: the mi nd is a monkey. (Robert S tone) • Please can I go home now? Craven, chickenshit, and bourgeois. (Robert S tone) • We ain't got much these days. Cou- ple chickenshit domestic shoot- ings. Want some help? (Joseph Wambaugh) crap • M an will cease to exist. Just like the dinosaurs passed into extinction, the same thing'll happen to us. We're not fuckin' i mport ant . We're j us t a crap idea. (Naked) crappy • Did George Hartley read a crappy little poem I was silly enough to let him have years ago? I bet it fell as flat as a flounder. (Philip Larkin) • When I was in my teens I used to read all those crappy maga- zines about how to find M r Right and how to make him yours for li fe. S hit! Every penny I had went on clothes and make-up. I really swallowed all that crap. (E.A. Whitehead) • He di dn' t seem to real i /e the sheer cr appi nes s of hi s ar gument . (Jonathan Coe) crummy O riginally, i nfested with body lice, lousy. N ow the word, like lousy, has come to mean: bad, of inferior quality, shoddy; insignificant, trifling, paltry. • — What does that get me? — M aybe it gets you put to sleep. O r maybe you get to live your crummy little life. (Robert S t one) • I pass my li fe in crummy, totally pointless infi- delities... would-be infidelities. (Edward Albee) lousy • Life here is still lousy, due to my inability to live it. (Philip Larkin) • Watched various lousy programmes on the TV un- til 7: 30. (Joe O rton) • — Do you dig karate, Al? — Can't say as I do, Herman. Act ual l y, I' m i n lousy shape. (Joseph Wambaugh) piss-poor, piss poor • Y ou've all heard about the Law of the S ix Ps: proper preparation pre- vents pi ss-poor perf ormance. Well, it applies in every field. (Gus Blackburn) • I have gone through all that stuff to find sto- ries for my books and a lot of it is poorly written, just piss poor. (Howard S ounes) • Europe is a pi s s - poor pl ac e f or mus i c . (Rolling S tone) pissy • Dull non-day today, fol- lowing a pissy evening attend- ing the annual dinner of the Hull M agic Circle. (Philip Larkin) raggedy-ass • I realized the rea- son for the baroque church, the grand church i n the povert y nei ghborhood. A raggedy-ass guy won' t go into a raggedy-ass temple: 'I live in a shithouse — whadda I gotta go in one faw?' (Lenny Bruce) • S he think she be gittin the house and the car be- cause this old man wif a brain like pigfeet made some kind of rag- gedy ass agreement she think is a legal will. (Joseph Wambaugh) shit, shite • I hate being S cot- ti sh. We' re the lowest of the f ucki ng low, the scum of the earth, the most wretched, ser- vile, miserable, pathetic trash that was ever shat into civiliza- tion. S ome people hate the Eng- li sh, but I don' t. They' re just wankers. We, on the other hand, are colonized by wankers. We can't even pick a decent culture to be colonized by. We are ruled by effete arseholes. It's a shite state of affairs. (Trainspotting) • He worked for a whi l e at M illiron's, and in various small factories in the garment district, 'shit jobs' where he connived to waste as much time as possible. (Howard S ounes) shit-eating • What kind of ques- tion is that! What kind of shit- eating remark is that supposed to be! Are you another heartless bastard too? (Philip Roth) • And that shit-eating grin of yours day after day cool as a cucumber, butter woul dn' t melt i n your mout h, woul d i t. . . (Wi l l i am S tyron) bullshit -sandeces, gilipolleces The word can be used as a verb, a noun, or an adjective. As a noun, it means; nonsense, pretentious talk, deceitful absurdities, baloney. As a verb: to talk foolishly or pretentiously, or with a view to deceiving the listener. . Banky's not known for believing misinformation. He's got a pretty good bullshit detector. (Chasing Amy) • A Banky no se le conoce por aceptar infor- macion falsa. Tiene un estupendo detector de chorradas. 78 El Ingles Prohibido EDITO RIAL S TAN LEY 7. a www.FreeLibros.org • — But, Your Honor, she is of age, after all, a consenting adult... — Don't bullshit me with legalisms, Portnoy. You knew right from wrong. (Philip Roth) • Please, let us not bullshit one another about 'love' and its duration. (Philip Roth) • Put yourself in our place. Would you kiss a leper? What the hell are you gonna get outta that? Awright? That's a lotta bullshit — you try to kiss them and they fall apart. (Lenny Bruce) • Rehabilitated? That's just a bullshit word. So you go on and stamp your form, sonny, and stop wasting my time. Because, to tell you the truth, I don't give a shit. (The Shawshank Redemption) • Tiffany Charles was a sucker for young- looking older guys like this, or else for big sweaty animals that socked it to you and no bullshitting around. (Joseph Wambaugh) • — Pero, Senoria, ella es mayor de edad, despues de todo, una adulta que consien- te... — No me vengas con gilipolleces lega- les, Portnoy. Ya sabes distinguir lo que esta bien de lo que esta mal. • Por favor, no nos andemos con tonterias so- bre el 'amor' y su duracion. • Ponte en nuestro lugar. Besarias a un le- proso? Que' cono vas a conseguir con eso? De acuerdo? Es un montdn de mierda — in- tentas besarles y se caen a cachos. • Rehabilitado? Eso es s61o una jodida pala- bra, Asi que adelante y pon el sello en tu for- mulario, ninato, y deja de hacerme perder el tiempo. Porque, a decir verdad, me importa una mierda. • A Tiffany Charles le perdian los tipos mayo- res como este que aparentaban ser mas jove- nes, o sino los animales grandes y sudorosos que te la pegaban y no de cona. SYNO NYM S: The following terms are synonyms for bullshit used as a noun and as an interjection. Only shit can be used in this context as a verb. ballocks, bollocks • — 'Resolve is never str onger than in the morning after the night it was never weaker.' What do you think of that? — It's a load of bollocks. (Naked) • Had a fear- ful weekend judging the Arvon Poetry Competition... To think that someone is going to get F IV E THO U SAND PO U NDS for some utter ballocks makes me want to do damage. (Philip Larkin) • F or God's sake, don't talk ballocks, Johnson. (Joyce Cary) balls • Ah, beauty, beauty! What is tr uth? Balls. What is love? Shite. What is God? Bugger. (Philip Larkin) • Have you read this st uff? 'The Zionist con- spiracy, the worldwide Jewish plot'. This is a lot of anti-Se- mi t i c bal l s i s what t hi s i s. (Alan Beretta) cobblers (U K) • All the guff about mutual respect between police and criminals was just a load of old cobbl er s. (G.F . Newman) crap • — What do you believe in then? — Well, I believe in the soul. The cock. The pussy ... High fiber. Good Scotch. That the novels of "Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. (Bull Durham) • An army is a team. It lives, sleeps, eats, fights as a team. This i ndi vi duali ty stuff is a lot of crap. (Patton) • What a bunch of crap, huh? (David M amet) dung • Don't ever go to see any fi lm M yr i am r eco mmends. You' ll wi nd up wast i ng an evening watching a load of arty- farty dung. (John O gilby) horsedung • M en, the stuff we heard about America not want- ing to fight, wanting to stay out of the war , was a lot of horsedung. Americans tradition- ally love to fight. All real Ameri- cans love the sting of battle. (Patton) horseshit • — We're going to get respect by any means neces- sar y. — Ah, c' mo n, t hat ' s a bunch of hor seshit! (Chasing Amy) • — I think that' s very i nter esti ng how they use the Dufy Blue with so many other EDITO RIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 79 www.FreeLibros.org pastels. — That sounds like a lotta Commie horseshit to me. (Lenny Bruce) • How'd I ever get mi xed up in this happy horseshit? (Robert Stone) • Have j ust started the third of three Agatha Christie paperbacks, the first two of which were horseshit. (Philip Larkin) • You are now deal- ing in the cheapest kind of New York-liberal, hypocritical horse- shit! (William Styron) shit, shite • Soul is the music people understand ... it sticks its neck out and says it st rai ght from the heart. Sure there's a lot of different music you can get off on but soul is more than that. It grabs you by the bollocks and lifts you above the shite. (The Commitments) 80 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org EXERCISE 7.1 In each of the following lists, all the words are synonymous except one. Spot the odd man out and explain why the word in question is misplaced. 1. (a) piss about (b) fart about (c) shit about (d) bugger about (e) arse about (f) fuck about 2. (a) crappy (b) crummy (c) lousy (d) piss-poor (e) horseshit (f) raggedy-ass 3. (a) chickenshit (b) cobblers (c) bullshit (d) crap (e) balls (f) horsedung 4. (a) fuck up (b) bugger up (c) cock up (d) balls up (e) screw up (f) piss-up EXERCISE 7.2 Complete the following sentences by choosing the appropriate words in a, b, c, d, or e. In each case, only one answer is possible. 1. The script was stupid, the acting was terrible, and the direction was non-existent. In short, it was one of the films I've ever seen. (a) crappiest (b) fartiest 2. They have some kind of (c) fuckedest (d) most buggered (e) most piddled plan to go to China during the summer, but they still haven' t the least idea of how they' re going to finance the trip. (a) shit-kicking (b) shit-stirring (c) horsedung (d) pissed-off (e) half-assed 3. Harry is totally incompetent. It doesn't matter what you ask him to do, you can be sure he'll (a) fuck it out (b) fuck it off (c) fuck it over (d) fuck it up (e) fuck it in 4. Listen, all I want you to do is to tell me the facts. Don' t me, just tell me the truth. (a) ballocks (b) cobblers (c) dung (d) crap (e) bullshit 5. You'll never pass this exam if you go on and wasting time. Sooner or later, you have to get down to work. (a) ballsing up (b) fucking about (c) cocking away (d) farting over (e) snafuing EXERCISE 7,3 Translate the following sentences into English. 1. Trato de pegarmela con no se que excusas. 2. De vez en cuando, alguien la caga y hay un jodido desmadre. 3. Mira, deja de joder por ahi. Si vas a hacerlo, hazlo de una vez. 4. Mis hijos no se criaran en una mierda de vivienda de proteccion oficial. 5. La cago con la organizacion. 6. Trabaja en un video club de mierda. 7. Los acontecimientos de ayer parecieron ser un desastre de relaciones publi- cas a gran escala. 8. — Dice que es rico. —j Que cono a a ser rico ese! 9. Los numeros estan todos mal. 10. Trato de pegarmela con no se que excusas. 11. Tiene algun tipo de objecion patetica a las travesuras de adolescentes que ocurrieron hace casi diez anos. 12. Por favor, no nos andemos con tonterias sobre este asunto. 13. [Esta vez intenta no cagarla! 14. No me vengas con sandeces! 15. No dije que no lo iba a hacer. Solo mencionaba lo jodida que esta la situacion! 16. Dicen que el mundo va llegando a su fin. Dicen que por eso esta tan jodido. 17. Era una pelicula de mierda. 18. Su decision nos jodio las vacaciones. 19. Quieres regresar a tu pequena jodida existencia? Adelante. Ahf tienes la puerta. Nadie te lo impide. 20. No era el resultado de algun proceso de pensamiento fantastico. Solo estaban haciendo el gilipollas, basicamente. EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Pr ohibido 81 www.FreeLibros.org EXERCISE 7.4 (Joe tells a joke involving several national stereotypes. In modern American jokes people of Polish descent are remarkable for their stupidity.) JOE: So they're talkin' about how they get their wives off, and the French guys says: (in a bad French accent) 'All I gotta do is take my pinky and tickle my Fifi's little oo-la-la and she rises a foot off the bed.' So the dago says: (in a good Brooklyn accent) That's nothin'. When I take the tip of my tongue and wiggle it against my Mary Louise's little fun pimple, she rises two feet off da bed.' Then our friend from Poland says: (in dumb voice) 'You guys ain't no cocksmen. When I get through fuckin' my Sophie, I wipe my dick on the curtains and you know what? She hits the roof!' Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Ain't that a masterpiece? Stupid fuckin' Polack, wipes his dick on the drapes. From the screenplay of Reservoir Dogs by Quentin Tarantino Using what you have learned in this chapter and in the preceding exercises and what you can guess from the context, find words or phrases in the above passage corresponding to these descriptions: 1. A phrasal verb meaning: to bring someone to orgasm. 2. An offensive term for a Spaniard or Latin- American. 3. A slang term for the clitoris. 4. A word designating a man regarded and evaluated as a sex partner. 5. A verb meaning to have sexual intercourse with someone. 6. A slang term for the penis. 7. An adjective with no precise meaning, used strictly for emphasis. 8. An offensive term for a person of Polish descent. 82 E l Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLE Y www.FreeLibros.org 8: E M P H A S I S fuck - a la mierda! This is by far the strongest of the swearwords listed in this section, words which, if taken literally, include wishing a person or thing to eternal damnation (damn, goddamn, to hell with) and mentally subjecting the person or thing to an act of rape (fuck, screw, shag) or sodomy (sod, bugger). In practice, of course, such words are not primarily intended as vehicles of precise meaning but rather as expressions of emphatic annoyance, indignation, rejection, surprise, etc. •Hove the F-word. I never tire of it. Fve been told it's unladylike, and I'm sure that's true, but what the heck — nothing says it better. Maybe the best thing about it is its manifold use: Front the essential 'Fuck you!' to the relatively genteel 'Well, fuck me!' You don't have to be a sailor to revel in this word. (A my Wallace) If I walk away from this, he thought, I'll be an old man — all ghosts and hangovers and mellow recollections. Fuck it, he thought, this is the one. This is the one to ride till it crashes. (Robert Stone) — Ah fuck it. — Sure! Fuck it! That's your answer! Tattoo it on your forehead! Your answer to everything! (The Big Lebowski) Fuck me, who cares if we're not nice — we're necessary. That's more important. (Robert McLiam Wilson) « — Suppose any of the neighbours were to look out and see them. — Oh, fuck the neighbours! (Francis King) At eleven o'clock it was all settled; they were going to run away, to Borneo. Fuck the husband! She never loved him anyway. (Henry Mller) Business bad? Fuck you, pay me. Oh, you had a fire? Fuck you, pay me. The place got hit by lightning, huh? Fuck you, pay me. (GoodFellas) • Me encanta la palabra 'joder'. Nunca me can- so de ella. Me ban dicho que no est5 bien que lo diga una senorita, y seguro que es cierto, pero que mas da - nada lo expresa tan bien. Quizas lo mejor de todo sean sus multiples usos: Desde el esencial' Joclete!' hasta el rela- tivamente suave 'Pues, jddeme!' No hace falta ser un marinero para disfrutar de esta palabra. • Si me alejo de esto, penso, me sentire viejo — todo serin fantasmas y resacas y recuer- dos dulces. Que se joda, pensd, este es el que cuenta, Este es el que hay que montar hasta que se estrelle. • — Ah, que se joda. — Bien! Que se joda. EJsa es tu respuesta! Tattialo en tu frente! Tu respuesta a todo! • jQue se odanS, a quien le importa si no so- mos amables — somos necesarios. Eso es m£s importante. • — S uponte que algunos de los vecinos se asomaran y les vieran. — {Que se jodan los vecinos! A las once, ya estaba todo decidido; se iban a escapar a Borneo. jQue se joda el marido! De todos modos, nunca le habia amado. El negocio va mal? ddete, pagame. Tuviestes un incendio? Jodete, pagame. Cayo un rayo sobre el local, eh? Jodete, pagame. S YNONYM S : damn, God damn, goddamn • During that time I went to a meeting of radicals... M ichael Gold made a speech and kept re- peating: 'S tick to you r class, damn it, stick to your class.' (Katherine A nne P orter) • The voice was a man's, and it was laced with authority. 'Get back here, God damn i t !' (James E DI TORI A L S TA NLE Y E l I ngles P rohibido 83 8.a www.FreeLibros.org Carrol) • You unspeakable creep! You wretched swine! God damn you to hell forever for betraying me behind my back, you whom I trusted like the best friend I ever had! (William Styron) bugger (UK) • Oh, bugger it. I' m going to give up. Had enough. (Kingsley Amis) • I'll be buggered if I can understand how it could have been anything else. (Samuel Beckett) screw • I stood in the hallway for a beat, the familiar feeling of dread washing over me. Screw this. I put my books in my locker and went home. (David Obst) • 'Don't shout, there might be keepers.' 'Screw the keepers,' he cried. (Roald Dahl) shag • —Well, smart arse, in lieu of money what are we going to pay the rent with? — Shag the rent, I have other things to worry about. (Tony Carlin) sod (UK) • Oh, sod it, I am going to go shopping. (Helen Fielding) • ' I' d rather be at home,' said the chief camera- man, 'and sod the overtime.' (John Wain) to hell with • I spend long hours slumped in front of the TV... watching sport and old fi l ms. Not hi ng else: to hell with news or politics. (Philip Larkin) • Being a fiery young woman, a f emi ni st who be- l i eved she was wi t hi n her rights to dance with whoever she liked, however she wanted, Li nda told him to fuck off. They were fi ni shed. To hell wi t h Bukowski ! ( Howar d Sounes) 8. b fucking -de mierda, punetero The word is used adjectivally or adverbially, intensifying an adjective. In many cases it has no parti- cular significance and is used simply for emphasis or to balance the rhythm of a phrase. Otherwise, the adjective means wretched, rotten, accursed; the adverb means extremely, very. • Now this kid, this kid was great. They used to call him Spitshine Tommy. I swear to God. Oh, he'd make your shoes look like fucking mirrors. Excuse my language. (GoodFellas) • — You shot him in the foot, Tommy. — He's fucking fine. All right, so he got shot in the foot! What is it, a big fucking deal? — He needs a fucking doctor. (GoodFellas) • 'If I beat up on you... I'd be within my rights', he told her. 'You can't deal with people in this outrageous fucking manner.' (Robert Stone) • He comes in here like I'm his fucking doorman. (David Mamet) • You listen carefully! You ever fuckin' touch her again, you ever do anything like that again, I'll fuckin' kill you. Pure and simple. Do you hear me? Pure and fuckin' simple, I'll fuckin' kill you, you bitch. (Casino) • Este crio, este crfo era genial. Le llamaban limpia-escupitajos Tommy. Lo juro por Dios. Oh, hacia que tus zapatos parecieran jodidos espejos. Disculpa mi lenguaje. • — Le disparaste en el pie, Tommy. — Joder, estd bien. Vale, jle dispararon en el pie! < ,Y que cono importa? — Necesita un jodido me- dico. • 'Si te fuera a pegar... estaria dentro de mi derecho,' le dijo, 'No puedes tratar a la gente de esta manera tan increfblemente jodida.' • Entra aqui como si yo fuera su jodido por- tero. • Esciichame con atenci6n! Si la vuelves a tocar, si vuelves a hacer algo por el estilo, te matare, joder. Puro y sencillo. Me oyes? Puro y jodidamente sencillo, te matare, jodida zorra. SYNONYMS: bleeding (UK) • I should like to say how much I admire your fight against the bleeding army. I don't think I should have the courage myself. (Philip Larkin) bloody (UK) • I had this dream the other night, about these two skeletons having a fuck. It was a right bloody racket — woke me up. (Naked) • Now then, who's for the canteen? I think we've had enough of this bloody shed. (John McGrath) • That was 84 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org pretty bloody stupid, O'Rourke, and unnecessary. (John McGrath) damn, damned • Stop that damned ringing: How tinnitus can drive you crazy, and how it can be cured. (Salon) • — A guy busts his damned ass and you don' t appreci at e it. —You haven' t been busting your ass, Chinaski. (Charles Bukowski) effing A euphemistic substitute for fucking. • Fortunately, in spite of increasing public usage, the F-word hasn' t entirely lost its pi zazz — the New York Times still refuses to print it, and people still say, 'Oh, fudge!' or ' I' m so effing mad!' (Amy Wallace) frigging • Shoot the hump! Blow his friggin' head off! (Sea of Love) • Your whacking great book on Stalin's purges came this after- noon; I began putting my nose in it as a change from writing my f r i ggi ng annual report . (Philip Larki n) • Mi nni e' s a funny friggin' name for a guy. (Ethan Coen) goddamn, goddamned • I don't give a shit who he's connected to. Tell him to take his fuckin' feet off the table. What' s he think this is, a goddamn sawdust j oi nt ? (Casino) • Come down here and talk to me, goddamn it! Fuck you! Goddamn you, come out here! (Casino) • Well, I'll ex- plain —if you' l l get your goddam hands off me. (Lenny Bruce) • I don' t want you to worry about a goddamned thing. (David Mamet) hellish • Life is hellish busy at present. (Philip Larkin) motherfucking • 'Cause me, once I decide I want some- t hi ng, t here ai n' t a goddam mot her f ucki n' t hi ng gonna stop me from gittin' it. (Jackie Brown) • Black rage! Black rage! I kill all white folks I lay my motherfuckin' eyes on!! (Chas- ing Amy) • — You hit a bump or something and the gun went off. —The car didn't hit no mother- fuckin' bump! (Pulp Fiction) poxy • He had a glass eye... I remember once I was having dinner with him and he took it out and wiped it. It slipped from his hand and fell straight into the pudding. What a fucking carry- on there was. This dirty, shitty, Welsh fucker searching in the ice-cream for this rotten, filthy glass thing that' d slipped from his poxy head. I had to refuse the pudding after that. The dirty shit. (Joe Orton) ruddy (UK) Euphemistic al- teration of bloody. • I'm sitting here writing with a ruddy great damp patch. No, it's not my ad- vancing old age, but a brown, moul dy cei l i ng-cyst , directly above my head. (Guardian) soddi ng ( UK) • Fuck t hi s arseholing typewriter. What' s the mat t er wi t h the sodding thing? (Philip Larkin) • Have I read ' The Groves of Aca- deme' — of course I have: soddi ng good t oo. ( Phi l i p Larkin) • Life in the centres of excellence is sodding hell at the moment, just work and squabble and worry. (Philip Larkin) • I wear two hear i ng aids now, per ma nent l y. Ca n' t hear a sodding word otherwise, and not much if I do. (Philip Larkin) •8 . c fucking well -icono! carajo! Words added parenthetically for emphasis. Sometimes they mean: certainly, definitely. • I resolved that I would draw the line as to how far Nathan would proceed in his harassment. He would bully Sophie no more, I decided, and he had fucking well better watch his step with me. (William Styron) • — You can't protect a kid from something like that. — Yes, you fucking-well can. But you have to make an effort! (James Laffan) • How do I know what he said? I know what he said because I was fucking well there. I was the craphead he fucking well said it to. (John Ogilby) • Decidi que trazaria una linea hasta donde podrfa llegar Nathan con su acoso. No intimidaria m&s a Sophie, decidi, y m£s le va- lia tener cuidado con lo que hacia. • — No se puede proteger a un crio de una cosa asi. — Si que puedes, joder. jPero tienes que hacer un esfuerzo! • Como Se lo que dijo? se lo que dijo porque estaba alli, cono. Yo era el hijo de puta a quien se lo dijo, joder. EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 85 www.FreeLibros.org YNONYMS: bleeding well (UK) • He has no chance of getting off with her, and he bleeding well knows it too. (Alan Beretta) bloody well (UK) • ' You' re drunk. You're just trying to es- cape from your yawning emo- tional hole into drink.' 'Well, so's bloody well Shazzer,' I said sulk- ily. (Helen Fielding) • Where the bloody hell's Dorfman? The bas- tard's cost me thirty grand al- ready. (Naked) damn well • You're going to be the best damn President our coun- try has ever seen. You damn well are! (Louis Fradin) • I asked an infantry colonel whether he gave his battalion a pre-battle lecture. The colonel replied approxi- mately as follows: — 'You can damn well bet I do.' (Atlantic Monthly) goddam well • 'She's lost her voice!' Becca called back, en- joying the drama. 'Then she can goddam wel l fi nd it.' (Sara Paretsky) sodding well (UK) • They say they' ll pay before the end of the month, that's fine by me. But I' ll tell you t hi s, t hey' d bet t er sodding well pay. 'Cause if they don' t, our friend Razors is go- ing down there to have a friendly word. (Alan Beretta) 8. d a hell of a -sensacional, de padre y senor mw The phrase is used adjectivally, as in the first example, or adverbially, as in the second. Two variations are exemplified below, a helluva and one hell of a. • She seemed like a hell of a girl, huh? The little I saw of her. (David Mamet) • To Mike Woo, a real neat Marxist Leninist and a helluva nice guy. Always a pal, Chair- man Mao. (Robert Stone) • 'Excuse me for staring,' he said in a New York accent. 'I was just admirin' that colossal shirt. Yeah, that is one hell of a shirt. I'll bet you paid a pretty penny for it, am I right?' (James Leo Herlihy) • Parecia una chica estupenda, verdad? Lo poco que vi de ella. • Para Mike Woo, un marxista leninista muy majo y un tipo cojonudo. Siempre tu colega, Presidente Mao. • 'Disculpame por quedarme mirando,' dijo con acento neoyorkino. 'Solo estaba admiran- do esa camisa tan flipante. Si, es una camisa cojonuda. Apostaria que te cost6 un ojo de la cara, verdad?' 8. e ... as hell -sumamente The following phrases are added after an adjective, with the meaning: extremely, very. • I know this sounds pretentious as hell, but I like to think of us as artists. (Chasing Amy) • Se que esto suena la hostia de pretencioso, pero pienso en nosotros como artistas. SYNONYMS: as piss • Sometimes your para- noia and suspicious bullshit is amusi ng. Sometimes i t ' s j ust f ucki ng annoyi ng as pi ss! (Chasing Amy) as fuck • Now down here we have a man-hat i ng, angry- as- f uck, agenda- of - rage, bi t t er dyke. (Chasing Amy) 86 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org 8. f for fuck's sake -iputamadrel icarajo! An expression of strong emotion, exasperation, anger, surprise, despair, etc., in which f uck is substituted for God, Jesus, Christ, etc • Despite herself, she laughed loudly — her signature laugh, a cross between a bark and a neigh. He clapped a hand over her mouth. 'For f uck's sake. People are right outside.' (Courtney Weaver) • Would you for fuck's sake try and keep the noise down? Just because you shower of shites don't have to get up in the morning doesn't mean nobody else does. (John Ogilby) • Ah for fuck's sake, what's that meddling bastard gone and stuck his nose into now? (James Laffan) * A pesar de si misma, se rio en voz alta — su risa era, un cruce entre un ladrido y un relincho. Le puso la mano sobre la boca. ' Jo- der. Hay gente ahi fuera.' Te importaria bajar ese jodido ruido? Solo porque vosotros, cabrones, no tengais que levantaros por la manana no significa que los demas no tengamos que hacerlo. Carajo!, en que ha ido a meter sus narices ese bastardo entrometido ahora? RELATED TERMS: These expressions are all used as for Christ's sake, for chrissakes • Yes, Holden, that's all it was: some sex! Most of it stupid high school sex, for Christ's sake! (Chasing Amy) • You're a grown woman, behave like it f or chrissakes. (David Mamet) • I heard my own voice now. 'Nathan, for Christ's sake, lay off her!' I had gotten to my feet. (William Styron) • Those who have actually listened to the un- expurgated tapes know that Nixon went in for Sunday-school swear- ing and precious little else. His deleted expletives overwhelm- ingly consisted of 'Goddamn', 'hell', ' damn' , 'Christ', 'f or Christ's sake', 'what in the name of Christ' and 'oh, God'. The dirti- est words in the president's ver- nacular were 'crap', 'shit', and 'asshole'. (Jonathan Aitken) for God's sake • Dripping with water, he had a strange dignity as he tried to calm his frightened captors. 'Listen to me. I'm un- expletives. armed, I'm u ngu ar ded. For God's sake, I'm naked.' (Neil Gordon) for the love of Christ • The broad jumps back on the bed and yells 'Now, give it to me now for the love of Chri st .' (Davi d Mamet) for the love of God • 'For the love of God, get a hold on your- self , Mc Manus,' Powers said contemptuously. (Shaun Herron) holy Jesus • The sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and di vi ng arou nd the car, and a voice was screaming: 'Holy Je- sus! What are these goddamn animals?' (Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas) Jesus Christ • Jesus Christ, I get home from work, all I want to do is put my f eet up and wat c h the t elly, not get in- volved in one of your orgies. (Naked) • — That's it for me. From here on in, you can con- sider my ass retired. — Jesus Christ! — Don't blaspheme! — Goddammit, Jules... — I said don't do that. (Pulp Fiction) • 'Oh, Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ,' I kept hearing myself mutter, half aware of the qu est i oni ng look on the face of the old man, who as a member of the Second Baptist Church of Washington was doubtless unprepared f or such impiety from a preacher. (William Styron) fucking hell • — 'What time does she get back?' — 'Dunno. About seven or something.' — 'Fuckin' hell!' (Naked) • Fuckin' hell! I've seen more life in an open grave. I mean, you don't seem very pleased to see me. (Naked) • Fuckin' hell! Stupid f u c k i n' cunt's gone and got lost. (Naked) bloody hell, bleeding hell (UK) • 'Bloody hell,' he said at last. 'I hate these European art movies, don't you?' (Jonathan Coe) EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 87 www.FreeLibros.org 8. g I the fuck -cono, caraio An adverbial phrase mainly used for rhythmic fullness in hostile questions or to intensify the emotional charge of hostile commands and assertions. • Jesus Christ, why don't you just shut the fuck up. You're yap, yap, yapping all the time. Give me a fucking headache. (Chasing Amy) • — How am I supposed to feel about all of this? — How are you supposed to feel about it? Feel whatever the fuck you want about it! The only thing that really matters is how you feel about me. (Chasing Amy) • 'What the fuck!' Converse exclaimed. Quite involuntarily. (Robert Stone) •You ain't gonna do a goddam thing, now hang back and shut the fuck up. (Pulp Fiction) • They had so much fuckin' money in there, you could build a house out of stacks of $100 bills. And the best part was that upstairs, the board of directors didn't know what the fuck was going on. (Casino) • 'Get out,' I shouted again. 'Get your goddamned foot out of that door and leave me the fuck alone!' (William Styron) • Everyone was happy. Everyone was smiling. And why the fuck not? We were alive and more to the point it was looking like we had a chance to stay that way. (Ken Lukowiak) • Jesus, £por que cono no te callas? Estds que no callas en.todo el dia. Me das un puto dolor de cabeza. • — Como se supone que me tengo que sentir acerca de esto? — Como se supone que te tienes que sentir? Siente lo que te de la puta gana! Lo Snico que importa es que sientes por mi. • Que cono!' exclamo Converse. Del todo involuntario. • No vas a hacer ni hostias, quedate atras y cierra la puta boca. • Tenian tanto puto dinero ahi dentro, que se podrfa construir una casa con los montones de billetes de $100. Y lo mejor de todo era que la junta directiva no sabia que cono esta- ba pasando. • 'Sal de aqui' grite otra vez. ' Saca tu puto pie de la puerta y dejame en paz de una jodida vez!' • Todos eran felices. Todos estaban sonrien- do. Y por que cono no? Estibamos vivos y adema's, parecfa que tenfamos posibilidades de seguir asi. SYNO NYMS: the hell • 'The thing to do,' he thought at length, 'is to get the hell out of here, away to someplace.' (James Leo Herlihy) the blazes A euphemistic sub- st i t ut e for hell. • Where the blazes have you been? Have you any idea what time it is? (Rodney Forsythe) 8. h I the shit out of... -severamente To beat the shit out of someone is to beat or thrash that person thoroughly (moler a alguien a palos). Any verb denoting assault or punishment may replace beat: kick, knock, hammer, slap, scare, etc. • Well, I got mad and it felt terrific! I felt like I could beat the shit outta all those punks! Ex- cuse my language, just beat them to a pulp! (Fried Green Tomatoes) « Pues, me enfade" y me sentf estupendamen- te! Me sentf como si pudiese dar de hostias a esos pringaos! Perdona mi lenguaje, solo dar- les de tortas! 88 El Ingles Prohibido EDITO RIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org And then he counts to three and she doesn't move and then he gets down on his knees and begins to slap the livin' shit out of her. (William Styron) * Our war had so far consisted of watching the Argentine Air Force bomb the shit out of our Navy. (Ken Lukowiak) * Listen, I know I'm boring the shit out of you, but I've got to talk to somebody. I can't talk to those guys upstairs. (Henry Miller) • Entonces 61 cuenta hasta tres y ella no se mueve y entonces se arrodilla y empieza a darle de hostias. • Nuestra guerra hasta ahora habia consistido en contemplar como la fuerza aerea argentina bombadeaba a nuestra marina. • Oye, se que te estoy aburriendo mortalmente, pero tengo que hablar con alguien. No puedo hablar con esos tipos del piso de arriba. SY NONY MS: the hell out of... • Every hooker I ever speak to tells me it beats the hell out of wai t r essi ng. Waitressing's got to be the worst fucki ng j ob i n t he wor ld. (Deconstructing Harry) • The poster said 'More chilling than The Exorcist... More haunting than The Sixth Sensel It will scare the hell out of you.' It bored the hell out of me. (Guardian) • We're going to take the enemy by the nose and kick him in the ass. We'll kick the hell out of him. We'll go through them like crap through a goose. EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 89 (patton) www.FreeLibros.org EXERCISE 8.1 In each of the following lists, all the words are synonymous except one. Spot the odd man out and explain why the word in question is misplaced. 1. (a) bloody (b) poxy (c) goddam (d) half-assed (e) motherfucking (f) sodding 2. (a) damn it (b) shit it (c) sod it (d) to hell with it (e) screw it (f) bugger it 3. (a) for the love of Christ (b) for fuck's sake (c) for Christ's sake (d) Jesus H. Christ (e) the fuck (f) fucking hell 4. (a) bleeding well (b) fucking well (c) cunting well (d) damn well (e) sodding well (f) bloody well EXERCI SE 8.2 Complete the following sentences by choosing the appropriate words in a, b, c, d, or e. In each case, only one answer is possible. thing I ever did in my life. Apart from getting mar- 1. Quitting that job was the stupidest ried, that is. (a) bastard (b) whoring (c) fucking 2. You're in a lot of trouble, pal. I advise you to get _ (a) the fuck (b) the crap (c) the shit 3. She was nice-looking woman, I mean really beautiful. (a) a fuck of a (b) a shag of a (c) a shit of a (d) a hell of a (e) a bastard of a (d) pissing (e) shitty out of here before the cops arrive, (d) the cunt (e) the crud 4. Turn that goddamned radio off .! It's driving me crazy. (a) for crap's sake(b) for fuck's sake (c) in Christ's sake (d) in fuck's sake (e) in fuck's name EXERCISE 8.3 Translate the following sentences into English. 1. j Y a ti que cono te importa, imbecil! j Largo de aqui! 2. jQue cacho chuleta te estas comiendo! 3. jQue se jodan los vecinos! A quien le importa lo que piensen? Nunca antes nos han preocupado. 4. No entendi un carajo. 5. Le puso la mano sobre la boca. 'Joder. Hay gente ahi fuera.' 6. Que cono hacias el otro dia espiando a mi mujer? 7. Jesus, £por que cono no te callas? Me das un puto dolor de cabeza. 8. Luisa juega de puta madre! 9. Es una camisa cojonuda. Apostaria que te costo un ojo de la cara. 10. CIA mi que cono me importa lo que diga Lou Reed! 11. Se que esto suena la hostia de pretencioso, pero pienso en nosotros como artistas. 12. Apaga esa television, cono! 13. Saca tu puto pie de la puerta y dejame en paz de una jodida vez! 14. Esta mierda de miercoles es un conazo. 15. Como se lo que dijo? Se lo que dijo porque estaba alli, cono. 16. Oye, se que te estoy aburriendo mortalmente, pero tengo que hablar con alguien. 17. No se como cono aprobo! 18. Nuestra guerra habia consistido en contemplar como la fuerza aerea argentina bombadeaba a nuestra marina. 19. Entra aqui como si yo fuera su jodido portero. 20. No vas a hacer ni hostias. Cierra la puta boca. 90 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org E XE RCI S E 8.4 (Nicky, a brash and assertive hoodlum, chastises Al, one of his employees and a compulsive gambler. Al is lying about what happened to some money Nicky gave him.) AL: When I left here with the money... N ICK Y : Mm. AL: ...I got muscled on the street. N ICK Y : Mm. AL: A couple of guys, I owe them. So, that's what I did. I gave 'em the money. That's what I did. N ICK Y : Y eah? AL: Y eah. N ICK Y : Y ou call yourself a man? Y ou know you're a lyin', low-life, motherfuckin' gambling degenerate prick? Y ou know that's what you are? Two small kids at home. I gave you money to pay the fuckin' rent and buy groceries, put the heat on. Y ou know your wife called Frankie and told him the fuckin' heat's off? Huh? And you didn't gamble that fuckin' money? Y ou're gonna stand here and tell me that? (AL shakes his head 'no'.) N o, no? Y ou didn't? AL: I didn't give 'em the m- N ICK Y : Don't fuck with me, Al! Don't make a fuck out of me! Y ou want to embarrass me and make a fool out of me?! Y ou didn't gamble?! Tell me you gambled the fuckin' money, I'll give you the fuckin' money to put the fuckin' heat on! Did you gamble?! Huh?! (AL nods 'yes', bowing his head in shame.) Fuckin' degenerate, you. (N iCK Y takes some money from his coat pocket and starts counting out some bills.) Fuckin' kids at home! Here. (Giving him the money.) Get the fuck out of here. AL: Thanks, N ick. N ICK Y : Y eah, thanks. (AL walks out.) Let me find out you fucked up, I'll leave you wherever I find you. From Casino, written by N icholas Pileggi and Martin Scorsese Using what you have learned in this chapter and in the preceding exercises and what you can guess from the context, find words or phrases in the above passage corresponding to these descriptions: 1. Two al l -purpose adject ives with no precise meaning, used excl usivel y for emphasis. 2. A term of abuse applied to a man. 3. A phrasal verb meaning to cause someone dif f icul t y or t roubl e. 4. A verbal expression meaning to make a fool of someone. 5. A t wo-word adverbial expression wit h no precise meaning, added to any utterance for greater emphasis. 6. A phrasal verb meaning to make a serious mistake, to fail by bl undering, to ruin one's prospects. EDITORIAL STAN LEY El Ingles Prohibido 91 www.FreeLibros.org 9: R A C I A L I N S U L T S 9. a Whitey - el hombre bianco! Black English word, intended contemptuously or dismissively, for a white person. • T he average whitey out here got everything, you dig? And the nigger ain't got shit, y'know? (Atlantic Monthly) • T rying to fail the physical examination, he took a drug to make his heart sound defective. S horty felt about the war the same way I and most ghetto N egroes did; 'Whitey owns everything. He wants us to go and bleed for him? Let him fight.' (Ronald T akaki) El tipico bianco ahi fuera lo tiene todo, entiendes? Y el negro no tiene una mier- da, sabes? • I ntentando suspender su examen fisico, tom6 una droga para intentar que su corazdn sona- ra defectuoso. S horty opinaba sobre la guerra igual que yo y la mayoria de los negros del ghetto: 'El hombre bianco es dueno de todo. El quiere que vayamos y sangremos por 61? jQue luche el!' RELATED TERMS: Boss Charley (U S ) Black Eng- lish. • He said, 'I t doesn't matter, the end result, as long as we trick Whitey, as long as we fuck up Boss Charley.' (L enny Bruce) cracker (U S ) A southern rustic or poor white. • I was broke in on the job by a cracker named Dixie S ugg who hated black people. He taught me you gotta practically cut off their heads and shrink 'em to kill the motherfuckers. (Joseph Wambaugh) • T hen T yrone and L eroy sleep through you getting beat up by some cracker shitbird. I thought you colored guys stuck together. (James Ellroy) gringo U sed contemptuously by S panish A mericans to refer to English people or A nglo-A meri- cans. From Mexican gringo, gib- berish. • T he old gringo referred to by the title of C arlos Fuentes's latest book happens to be A mbrose Bierce, the A meri- can journalist and short-story writer who left for Mexico in 1913 and who mysteriously dis- appeared. (N ew York T imes) honky, honkey (U S ) Black Eng- lish. • S he was twenty years old, and almost honky white. S he had a medium A fro, very frazzled at the moment. (Joseph Wambaugh) • 'You honky motherfucker!' the black hod carrier yelled when he finally exploded. (Joseph Wambaugh) • 'Oughtta keep the jiveass honkies outta our neigh- borhoods,' said Easy. 'Most a these young jitterbug social workers don't look like they got all their shit in one bag anyhow.' (Joseph Wambaugh) ofay (U S ) Black English. • — I never truck with no sissies. — I know that, son. — I ain't your son, you ofay fuck. (James Ellroy) • Only an ignorant ofay could call S igourney Weaver the first female action hero. Hey, baby, ain't you never heard of Pam Grier? C heck out C offy and Foxy Brown. (S alon) the Man (U S ) Black English. • R us is not U ncle T omming it around Harlem with the Man. He has brought a foreign visitor. (Guardian) 9. b I Brit -bntamco Short for Briton or Britisher. Generally inoffensive. • Over the last 10 years the Brit has entered the mythology of N ew York City. He is usually - depicted as a member of the London bon ton who comes to America as an indefatigable Durante los ultimos 10 anos el britaeico ha entrado en la mitologia de la ciudad de N ueva York. N ormalmente es presentado como miembro del bon ton de Londres que viene a 92 El I ngles Prohibido EDI T OR I A L S T A N L EY www.FreeLibros.org leech, deadbeat and sponger. (Tom Wolfe) • Beaton went higher and further, on sponged dinners, weekends, yacht trips and hotel suites, than any Brit of his time, and he mocked the Yanks more openly. (Tom Wolfe) • To me, as a Brit, the sense of power is amazing. The sense that decisions have consequences, which they don't seem to in Britain, is very strong and beguiling. I can always understand why the Brits come and colonize American newspapers, American media, or try to, because this is the real thing. It's played with live ammunition here. (John Le Carre") America como una sanguijuela infatigable, un muerto de hambre y un aprovechado. • Beaton subid mas y mas alto, con cenas, fi- nes de semana, viajes en yate y habitaciones de hotel por el morro, mas que cualquier otro brit&nico de su tiempo, y se pitorreaba de los americanos mas descaradamente. • Para mi, como britanico, la sensacion de po- der es alucinante. La sensaci6n de que las de- cisiones tienen consecuencias, al parecer al contrario que en Gran Bretana, es muy fuerte y seductora. Siempre puedo entender por que los britanicos vienen y colonizan los perid- dicos americanos, los medios de comuni- caeion americanos, o lo intentan, porque eso es lo autentico. Aqui se juega con mu- niciones reales. RELATED TERMS: Brummy, Brummie A person from Birmingham. • One in- mate, known as Brummie Bob, threatened to instigate a full- blown food strike if he wasn' t provided with ' proper scran, right fookin' now'. (Guardian) Jock A Scot. • I need not have worried. The f i rst person I bumped into in Glasgow was Ulrika Johnson, who greeted me with a big kiss. I made straight for the pub and was treated like an honorary Jock. (Guardian) limey An English person. • A reader willing to put up with Mr. Card's digressions, his intrusive asides, his lack of chronology, his occasionally inf elicitous choice of words (he calls the ac- tor George K. Arthur 'the in- genuous Limey' ) may be won over by his obvious love of his subject. (New York Times) pommy, pommie (Austr) An English immigrant. • The pommy bird woke up and chucked all over the multi-coloured woolen blan- ket. (Swag) Scouse A person from Liver- pool. • While she was growing up, Cherie would see her father, Tony Booth, on television play- ing the 'Scouse git' in Till Death Do Us Part. (Guardian) Taff, Taffy A person from Wales. • The Welsh are still seen as fair game (for racist denigra- tion). The rhyme that begins 'Taffy was a Welshman, Taffy was a thief was included in a treasury my daughter was given recently. (Guardian) • Reports of the violence were posted on the net during the fighting. One up- date read: 'Get ready Taffies, we are coming to wreck your coun- try. We are also flying the flag of St George.' (Guardian) 9. c I Mick -irlandes Derogatory term for Irish people. From the commonness of the male personal name Michael in Ireland. • Hell's Kitchen was dominated by the Irish, and it was said there used to be signs on the piers there that read NO WOPS; in Brooklyn the Italians were in charge, and they put up signs on the piers there that said NO MICKS. (Malachy McCourt) • El barrio de Hell's Kitchen era dominado por los irlandeses, y se dice que habla carteles en los muelles que ponia PROHIBID O HALIANOS; en Brooklyn, los italianos estaban al mando, y ponfan carteles en los muelles que decian PRO- HIBID O IRLAND ESES. ED ITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 93 www.FreeLibros.org • The Irishman used to be characterized by the Americans as a 'Mick' or 'Paddy'. Any such social distinctions constitute serious handicaps in the matrimonial race; but on the other hand, as they are in consequence largely artificial, they tend to disappear with the demonstration of economic and social efficiency. (Atlantic Monthly) • Antes el irlandes era denominado por los americanos como 'Mick' o 'Paddy'. Seinejante distinci6n social constituye un serio obstacu- lo en la carrera matrimonial; pero por otra parte, como son muy artificiales, tienden a desaparecer con la demostracion de la efiea- cia economica y social. SY N O N Y MS: paddy O ften derogatory. From the diminutive of Patrick. • Paddy yoursel f! How dare you call me Paddy? (George Bernard Shaw) bog-trotter • He vowed to get a sunt an and hav e his teeth capped. J esus, around here he felt like his old man must have felt as a bogtrotter at Ellis Is- land. (Joseph Wambaugh) 9. d Yank, Yankee -yanqui, g]in A US citizen from either the northern or southern states. The term is generally inoffensive. • Each soldier lies on his back with his jungle knife unsheathed in his clenched fist. The Y ank sleeps, but his killer instinct is wide awake. (Stanley A. Frankel) » Mr. Edelman did not consider England foreign when he was hired to bring Y ankee business know-how to a firm founded in 1899 by another Y ank, Albert Curtis Brown. (N ew Y ork Times) They wrestled the Americans toward the shed door affectionately... They called them 'Y ank', promised them that 'Jerry was on the run', and so on. (Kurt Vonnegut Jr.) • Why do Y anks say blow when they mean suck? And arse when they mean cunt? Talk about separated by a common language... (Philip Larkin) • Cada soldado se tumba de espaldas con su cuchillo de jungla desenfundado en su puno cerrado. El americano duerme, pero su instin- to asesino esta completamente despierto. • El senor Edelman no considero a Inglaterra como pais extanjero cuando fue contratado para traer conocimientos empresariales ame- ricanos a una empresa fundada en 1899 por otro americano, Albert Curtis Brown. • Condujeron a los americanos hacia la puerta del cobertizo afectuosamente... Les llamaban 'Y ank', les prometian que 'Jerry estaba hu- yendo', etc. • Por que los americanos dicen soplar cuando quieren decir chupar? Y culo cuando quieren decir cono? Y a ves, separados por un idioma cormin... 9. e frog -franchute, gabacho Applied derogatorily to a French person and to the French language. From their supposed fondness for eating frog-legs. • O ne night the telephone rang and a foreign- sounding fellow introduced himself as Barbet Schroeder, a film director. Bukowski's number • Una noche el tele fono sono y un tipo con acento extranjero se present6 como Barbet Schroeder, un director de cine. El numero de 94 El Ingles Prohibido EDITO RIAL STAN LEY www.FreeLibros.org was unlisted and he did not take kindly to the intrusion. 'Fuck off, you French frog,' he said. (Howard Sounes) • France, yeah sure, beautiful country, beautiful women, great food, great wine. Full of your fucking frogs, though, innit? (Alan Beretta) » There are photographs showing specimens of manhood 'before and after'. All frogs... A frog should have just a wee bit of a paunch, like the Baron de Charlus. (Henry Miller) Bukowski no aparecla en el listin y no le hizo gracia la intrusion. 'Jodete, gabacho,' le dijo. • Francia, si, claro, un pais hermoso, mujeres hermosas, comida maravillosa, vino maravi- lloso. Pero esta lleno de gabachos, no? • Hay fotograffas que muestran especfmenes de virilidad 'antes y despueY. Todos franchutes... Un franchute deberia tener simplemente un po- quito de barriga, como el bardn de Charlus. 9. f kraut -alemdn Applied derogatorily to a German. From the prevalence of sauerkraut in the German diet. • Who's in charge of scheduling? Burkhalter. I told that Kraut a fucking thousand times I don't roll on shabbas. (The Big Lebowski) • I'm trying to cheer her up, you stupid Kraut! (John Cleese) • Slang words, like curses, are notoriously difficult to translate without losing their spice. In this case, nicknames like Kraut, Jerry or Hun (Churchill's favorite) reflect American and British experience with Germany, while 'le Boche' refers to a nation that invaded France three times in a century. (New York Times) • Quien esta al mando de la planificacidn? Burkhalter. Le dije a ese alemdn mil putas ve- ces que no juego a los bolos en el shabbas. • Estoy intentando animarla, jestupido ale- man! • Las palabras en jerga, como los tacos, son notoriamente dificiles de traducir sin que pier- dan su picardia. En este caso, apodos como Kraut, Jerry o Hun (el favorito de Churchill) reflejan la experiencia americana y britanica con Alemania, mientras que 'le Boche' se re- fiere a una nacidn que invadi6 a Francia tres veces en un siglo. SYNO NYMS: Boche • We'll put Ipswich round there. We'll put Lyme Regis where Ipswich was. And we'll put Great Yarmouth where Lyme Regis was. There now, that should fool the Boche. (Peter Cook) Fritz From German Fritz, nick- name for Friedrich. • Ah rot off, Fritz. You know what German house painters grow up into, don't you, Fritz? (John McGrath) Heinle (US) From the German name Heinrich. • There were so many races; so many creeds and sects all huddled together in an area not more than a mile square. The people called each other names: Mick, Heinie, Guinea, Hunky, Polack, Wop, Sheeny, Squarehead, Bohunk, Chick and Greaseball. (Robert Cornfield) Hun • We won't just shoot the bastards. We're going to cut out their living guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks. We're going to murder those lousy Hun bastards by the bushel. (Patton) • I have a new car, filthy Hun Audi. (Philip Larkin) Jerry (UK) • — You were air crew, weren' t you? — Naviga- tor bomber-aimer. I joined un- der-age to get a crack at Jerry. Soon as I passed out f light-ser- geant, ready to go on ops, old Adolf packs it in. (Peter Nichols) squarehead • There was a bul- let-head priest in the German Catholic church on the Northside and one day he and his mother went there to beg. The squarehead slammed a fifty-cent piece down on the table. (Robert Stone) mm EDITO RIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 95 www.FreeLibros.org 9.g kike -judio Derogatory or offensive. Sometimes used by Jews of other Jews they regard with contempt, as in the third example. • The word 'nigger' — along with 'chink', 'kike' and the rest of our questionable linguistic heritage — once was a 'legitimate' word in American society. We need to understand at what point our culture recognized that the insult was taboo. (Salon) • My father was a social worker who cru- saded for birth control and fought housing discrimination against Jews. Yet I once heard him describe an objectionable Jew as a 'kike'. All this, it must be remembered, occurred before the Holocaust revealed to the world where such ugliness ultimately led. (New York Times) • You're a kike, Weiss, a kike, the kind of mean little creep that gives Jews a bad name. (William Styron) • La palabra 'nigger' ('negro') — al igual que 'chink' (chino), 'kike' (judio) y el resto de nuestra dudosa herencia linguistica — una vez fue una palabra 'legitima' en la socie- dad americana. Necesitamos entender en quee momento nuestra cultura reconocid que el insulto era tabu. • Mi padre era un trabajador social que Iucho por el derecho a los anti-conceptivos y peleo en contra de la discriminacion en la venta de inmuebles a los judfos. Aun asi, una vez le oi describir a un judio reprobable como 'kike'. Todo esto, hay que acordarse, ocurrio antes de que el Holocausto revelara al mundo hasta donde llegaba finalmente esta fealdad. • Eres un 'kike', Weiss, un 'kike', el tipo de cabron con mala leche que da mala fama a los judios. SYNO NYMS: Heeb, Heebie, Hebe (US) • A million times I wanted to yell in his fuckin' ear: 'This is Las Vegas! We're supposed to be out here robbing, you dumb fuckin' Heeb'. (Casino) • Moses Man- kowit z? Redbeard Mahoney? The Irish son of a bitch was a f ucking hebe! (Joseph Wam- baugh) • I found myself brood- ing blackly on my recent rob- bery. And Morris Fink. Fink! That fucking little hebe. (William Styron) Jew boy • Kid, you have got J- E-W written right across the middle of that face — look at the shnoz on him, for God's sakes! That ain't a nose, it's a hose! Screw of f , J ewboy! (Philip Roth) • The Cossacks are coming! Here's one Jew-boy who's going to make tracks for the count ryside!' (William Styron) sheeny, sheenie • 'Sheeny!' she is screaming. 'Hebe! You can't even come off unless you pull your own pudding, cheap bastard fairy Jew!' (Philip Roth) mocky, mockie (US) • Love thy neighbor... if he's not a mockie or a slicked-up greaseball from the Argentine. (Isaac Wolfert) Yid • Who do you think they're always giggling about as it is? You! The skinny Yid and his shnoz following them around... (Philip Roth) • Someone calls me a Sheeney, I'll knock 'em right on their ass... I wanna tell you sometin. I don't care what the hell a guy is so long as they keep t heir pl ace, you know. (Lenny Bruce) 96 El Ingles Prohibido EDITO RIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org 9. h I Polack -polaco Mainly derogatory. As the English tell jokes belittling the Irish for their stupidity, so Americans tell Polack jokes. Curiously, although the word is pejorative in English, it comes from the Polish word Polak, a Pole. • Then our friend from Poland says: 'When I get through fucking my Sophie, I wipe ray dick on the curtains, and you know what? She hits the roof!' Ain't that a masterpiece? Stupid fuckin' Polack, wipes his dick on the drapes. (Reservoir Dogs) • You and I know what a Jew is — One Who Killed Our Lord. We did this about two thousand years ago — two thousand years of Polack kids whacking the shit out of us coming home from school. (Lenny Bruce) » The other important reason for his rejection was the fact that he was a Polack, a German word which has the same sneeringly contemptuous meaning in German as it has in English. (William Styron) • You're a dirty Polack and Polacks are thieves. My mother says that Polacks are worse thieves than Gypsies and dirtier too. You smell! (William Styron) • Entonces nuestro amigo de Polonia dice: 'Cuando termino de foliar a mi Sophie, me limpio la polla con las cortinas, y sabes que? jSe pone histerica!' jVaya obra de arte! Puto estupido polaco, se limpia la polla con las cor- tinas. • Tu y yo sabemos lo que es un judio — Uno Que Mato A Nuestro Senor. Hicimos esto hace dos mil anos — dos mil anos de aguantar a crios polacos dandonos de hostias al ir a casa de la escuela. • La otra razon importante de su rechazo era el hecho de que era 'polak', una palabra ale- mana que tiene el mismo significado de des- precio y desden en alemdn como en ingles. • Eres una asquerosa polaca y los polacos son ladrones. Mi madre dice que los polacos son peores ladrones que los gitanos, ;y mas su- cios tambien! Apestas! 9. i Russkie -ruso • There will never be another Conservative government. What there will be is a series of Labour governments that will bankrupt the country so that we are all starving, at which point the Russkies will step in. (Philip Larkin) • No volvera a haber otro gobierno conserva- dor. Lo que habra sera una serie de gobiernos liberales que llevardn al pais a la bancarrota para que estemos todos muriendonos de ham- bre, momento en el que entrardn los rusos. j raghead -drabe Derogatory or offensive term for an Arab. From the fact that Arabs often cover their heads with a white or red-and-white checked gutrah. * Could he speak Arabic? Are you joking? He lived in the desert with them for nearly twenty years. He could speak it like a raghead. (W.C. Doughty) si sabia hablar drabe? Bromeas? Vi- vio en el desierto con ellos durante casi vein- te anos. Lo hablaba como un 'raghead' ('cabeza de trapo', rabe). EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 97 www.FreeLibros.org * Every Friday morning, just after the prayer, the more blood-thirsty ragheads would crowd into Chop Square to see some poor bugger get his hand or his head lopped off. (W.C. Doughty) • Cada viernes por la manana, justo despues del rezo, los arabes mis sanguinarios se so- lian concentrar en Chop Square para ver como le cortaban la mano o la cabeza a algto pobre desgraciado. SY N O N Y M S; camelfucker (US) Derogatory. • Look at our current situation with that camelfucker in Iraq. Pacifism is not something to hide behind. (The Big Lebowski) camel jockey (US) Derogatory. Like the previous term, from the alleged use of the camel for sexual gratification in the M id- dle East. • The British papers quickly fol- lowed the American lead. Al- though none quite sank to the level of 'Camel jockeys killed your kids', the British tabloids were not far behind. (O bserver) fig-eater (US) Derogatory. • I mean 'N am was a foot soldier's war... Just me and Charlie, man, eyeball to eyeball... Worthy fuckin' adversary... N ot a bunch of fig-eaters with towels on their heads tryin' to find reverse on a Soviet tank. (The Big Lebowski} Applied derogatorily to an Italian or to a person of Italian descent and to the Italian language. • Presumably because they were unable to overcome some slight vestigial embarrassment about doing business with the greasy beperfumed wop who has cuckolded one of their oldest friends they omitted to mention the whole business to me. (Helen Fielding) • Apparently some sort of deal has been done with... with the filthy wop... and they've recovered some of the money. (Helen Fielding) • In a democratic, catholic, real American game like baseball, there has been no distinction. The M ick, the Sheeny, the Wop, the Chink, the Cuban, the Indian, the Jap or the so-called Anglo-Saxon — his 'nationality' is never a matter of moment if he can pitch, hit, or field. (Sporting N ews) * Al parecer, al no ser capaces de superar los leves vestigios de verguenza que les quedaba por hacer negocios con el italiano grasiento y perfumado que le habia puesto cuernos a uno de sus mas antiguos amigos, se olvidaron de comentarme todo el negocio, Parecer ser que se estla llevando a cabo un trato con... con ese sucio latino... y han recii- perado parte del dinero. * En un deporte democratico, catolico y ge- nuinamente americano como es el beisbol, no ha habido distinciones. El irlandes, el judio, el italiano, el chino, el cubano, el indio, el japo- nes o el supuesto anglo-saj6n — su 'nacionali- dad' nunca es tema de debate si puede lanzar, batear o recibir. SY N O N Y M S: Eyetie Derogatory. • Kingsley is summering on some southern isle: just for a handful of Eyetie tit he left us. (Philip Larkin) guinea (US) Derogatory. Applied to an immigrant of Italian (or sometimes Spanish) origin. • I spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on her, I was gonna make her a big star! ... And then Johnny Fontane comes along with his ol- ive oil voice and his guinea charm, and she runs off. (The Godfather) greaseball (US) Derogatory. Usu- ally refers to a person of Latin American descent, but also, as here, to those of Italian extrac- tion. • There was nothing we could do about it... we had to sit still and take it. It was among the Italians. It was real greaseball shit. They even shot Tommy in the face so his mother couldn't give him an open coffin at the funeral. (GoodFellas) 98 El Ingles Prohibido EDITO RIAL STAN LEY 9. k wop -italiano www.FreeLibros.org 9. I dago -espanol, sudaca Derogatory. A person of Spanish (or, as the examples make clear, sometimes Italian) extraction. • Harry Truman was a man of many pre- judices. His letters are peppered with the standard-issue epithets of the world in which he grew up — dago, nigger, bohunk. (New York Times) • Of course, it didn't hurt La Guardia that he had an Italian-American father and a Jewish mother and was a practicing Protes- tant. Robert Moses, who sometimes called him a dago, came to envy his political touch. (New York Times) • Billy wants to know if you can get him a deal on one of those dago sports cars. (Lenny Bruce) • Harry Truman era un hombre de muchos prejuicios. Sus cartas estfin repletas de los tipicos epitetos del mundo en el que se cri6 — dago (espanol), nigger (negrata), bohunk (hungaro). • Claro, que no le hizo ningun dano a La Guardia el que tuviera un padre america- no-italiano y una madre judia y que fuera protestante practicante. Robert Moses, que a veces le llamaba 'dago, llego a envidiar su toque politico. • Billy quiere saber si le puedes conseguir un chollo con uno de esos coches deportivos ita- lianos. RELATED TERMS: The following terms referring to people of Latin American origin are all derogatory. greaseball (US) • I figured I could be doing better things with my life than taking knives away from greaseballs in zoot suits. (Raymond Chandler) greaser (US) • I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial big- otry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worth- less! (Full Metal Jacket) spic, spick (US) • I wanna take this little turd and grind him up in the cement mixer until he's taco meat! And put him in a ma- nure bag and send him to those wetback farmworkers to spread on all that boycotted lettuce. I wonder how that spic prick Cesar Chavez would like that? (Joseph Wambaugh) • What about the filthy spick fucker that the sarge blew away? (Ken Lukowiak) wetback (US) Applied to an illegal immigrant from Mexico to the US. From the practice of swimming the Rio Grande. • Now the bartender was a wetback, he was a friend of mine, his name was Carlos. (Reservoir Dogs) • You write half the time like some ignorant wetback. You didn't learn no English in those Chicano East L.A. schools. (Joseph Wambaugh) 9. m gook -asiatico, chino, amanllo Mainly US. An offensive term for any East Asian or Polynesian or immigrant of East Asian origin. * Too many foreigners own liquor stores. Vietnamese, Koreans, they can't fuckin' speak English. You tell them: 'Empty out the register', and they don't know what it fuckin* means. We keep on, one of those gook motherfuckers' gonna make us kill 'em. (Pulp Fiction) • Demasiados extranjeros son duenos de tien- das de licores. Los vietnamitas, los coreanos, no pueden hablar el jodido ingles. Les dices: 'Vacia la caja registradora', y no saben que cono les est£s diciendo. Si seguimos asi, uno de esos jodidos asiaticos va a conseguir que le matemos. EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 99 www.FreeLibros.org • Cokes got the silver star for rollin' a barrel of oil down a hill in Korea into forty-seven chinky dinky Chinese gooks who were climbin' up the hill and when he shot into it with his machine gun, it blew them all to grape jelly. (David Rabe) • Cokes recibio la estrella de plata por hacer rodar por una colina un barril de aceite en Corea hacia cuarenta y siete jodidos chinos que lo estaban subiendo y cuando disparo con- tra ellos con su ametralladora, les volo por los aires, convirtiendoles en mermelada de uva. RELATED TERMS: chink, chinkey A Chinese per- son. • There was an American flag on the front and Chinese charac- ters painted on the back of the box. The message on the back, roughly translated, read: 'Uncle Sam's taxes suck. It's every Chink for himself.' (Joseph Wambaugh) • The wogs and Chinks all see the day approaching when the British go for good. (Peter Nichols) • Did you eat today? No? Come on, we're going to swing by the Chinks, we got to talk. (David Mamet) dink A Vietnamese. • I keep thinkin' there was maybe somethin' I coulda done differ- ent. Maybe not drunk so much. Or if I'd killed more gooks, or more Krauts, or more dinks. (David Rabe) Jap A Japanese. • Keep your mouth shut and watch how peo- ple do it. Watch how the Japs do, they're the coolest people in the world. (Robert Stone) • Juicy Lucy's a Jap ... knows all those massage tricks from Japan. That'll be an extra twenty. Juicy Lucy don't give nothing but the Aphrodite Special.' (Joseph Wambaugh) Nip A Japanese. • You're a Nip. You all look alike. (Joseph Wambaugh) • Knock off that Jap stuff, goddamnit. That fucking Lieutenant Finque made me go to another Nip luncheon today. (Joseph Wambaugh) • If anybody knows the strength of Nips be- hind our lines, it's Tojo there. (Willis Hall) slope (US) Originally any East Asian (from Asians' stereo- typically slanting eyes), but sub- sequently applied specifically to the Vietnamese. • — What did the slope look like? — I don't know. Stringy Oriental guy, is all. I remember one thing. He smiled when he brought me a martini and he had a mean smile. (Joseph Wambaugh) slopehead (US) An East Asian or person of Asian extraction. • Buckmore Phipps hated all niggers. He also hated greas- ers, slopeheads, kikes, judges, lawyers, fags, dopers, report- ers, politicians. . . (Joseph Wambaugh) Tojo A Japanese. Sometimes, as here, a form of address. • It's a photo! It's a picture of a Nippo bint! Who's this then, eh? You got wife? Your missis? Japanese girl very good, eh? Good old Tojo! She's a bit short in the pins, that's all. But very nice. (Willis Hall) 19. n nigger -negro A coloured person. The term is generally derogatory or offensive when used by a white person, but neutral or even approving in Black English. From French negre, black. * If there was one thing Roscoe Rules wished, after having seen all of the world he cared to see, it was that there was a word as dirty as 'nigger' to apply to all mankind. Since he had little imagination he had to settle for 'asshole'. (Joseph Wambaugh) • Si habia una cosa que Roscoe Rules desea- ba, tras haber visto todo lo que deseaba ver, era que hubiera una palabra tan sucia como 'negrata' para aplicarla a toda la humanidad. Como tenfa poca imaginacion tuvo que con- formarse con 'gilipollas'. 100 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org * I'm the only one acting like a professional. You guys act like a bunch of fucking niggers. You ever work a job with a bunch of niggers? They're just like you two, always fighting, always saying they're gonna kill one another. (Reservoir Dogs) * Ain't that a sad sight, daddy. He walks into jail a white man, walks out talkin' like a nigger. It's all that black semen been shooting up his butt. It's backed up into his brain and comes out of his mouth. (Reservoir Dogs) You see the fight last night? What a fuckin' slaughter, right? I tell you the only way to get a nigger to bleed is put a razor in your glove. (Robert Stone) * Know why niggers survive serious wounds, partner? They're too dumb to go into shock. (Joseph Wambaugh) * He'd have loved to have gone to Africa and hired out as a mercenary. 'Imagine getting paid to kill niggers,' he mused. (Joseph Wambaugh) • Soy el unico que se esta comportando como un profesional. Os comportais como una pan- dilla de jodidos negratas. Alguna vez habees currado con una pandilla de negros? Son exac- tamente como vosotros dos, siempre pelean- do, siempre diciendo que se van a matar el uno al otro. • Eso es una perspectiva triste, papa. Entra en la carcel un hombre bianco y sale hablando como un negrata. Es todo ese semen negro que le han estado metiendo por el culo. Se le ha ido al cerebro y le sale por la boca. • Vistes la pelea anoche? Vaya puta masacre! Te digo que la unica forma de conseguir que un negrata sangre es poniendo una cuchilla en el guante. • Sabes por que los negratas sobreviven a las heridas serias, colega? Son demasiado estti- pidos para entrar en estado de shock. • Le hubiese encantado ir a Africa y ser con- tratado como mercenario. 'Imagfnate que te paguen por matar negratas,' pens6. RELATED TERMS: Unless otherwise stated, the following terms are offensive. All refer to black people. boogie (US) • Lots of boogies comin' in now, since the war. Wi lli amsbu rg. Brownsvi l l e. Bedford-St u yvesant , t hat ' s where t hey' re movi n' i nt o. Fuckin' apes, I call 'em. Boy, do I hate those boogi es. Apes! (William Styron) blood (US) • They had picked him up two blocks from the Montalvo in front of twenty citi- zens. He had ridden to the ho- t el wi t h a pi st ol pressed against his scrotum. ' Nobody out t here but bloods, bubi , ' Danski n had told him. 'They don' t care.' (Robert Stone) brother (US) An inoffensive term. • Those movies are about how the white man keeps the brother man down — even in a galaxy far, far away. Check this shit. You got cracker farm-boy Luke Skywalker, Nazi poster boy — blond hair, blue eyes. And then you' ve got DarthVader: the blackest brother in the galaxy. (Chasing Amy) coon • We could have talked about sports. I mean Southern sports, like lynching niggers — or coons, I t hi nk you call them down there. (William Styron) • Look, nobody wants a Sheeney plowing their sister, and I don' t want no coon doing it to my sis- ter. (Lenny Bruce) • Thanks for the card from coonland — scum you are for slinking off to avoid the rigours of the English win- ter. (Philip Larkin) darky, darkle • It' s Ni gger Hunting time. Any Nigger. They wou l dn' t give up u nt i l t hey would find one. From then on, Lord have mercy on the poor darkie... they would shoot him down like a dog. (Laurence Bergreen) jigaboo (US) • 'The Man' who had gained the loathing of 'right- thinking' people everywhere, in- cluding the South, by his straight- forward promiscuous public use EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 101 www.FreeLibros.org of words like 'nigger', 'coon', 'jigaboo'... (William Styron) • Political infighting, lad. The pinko Democrats have taken the tack of jigaboos wrongly accused, intend to press the issue during the primary elec- tions. (James Ellroy) jungle bunny (US) • Never ceases to amaze me. Fuckin' jun- gle bunny goes out there, slits some old woman' s throat for twenty-five cents. Fuckin' nig- ger gets Doris Day as a parole officer. But a good fella like you gets stuck with a ball-busting prick. (Reservoir Dogs) Paki (UK) Applies specifi- cally to an i mmi grant f rom Pakistan. • Well, gin and tonic time: I feel I've earned it, hav- ing mown a l awn, hoed and snipped and dealt death with the Weedol. I just about keep it down. More than the bloody Paki next door does... Ki ck 'em out. (Philip Larkin) shine (US) • This place called Florian's was under the same name when it was a white night trap. The sign was expensive so the shines just went on us- ing it when they took over. (Raymond Chandler) smoke (US) • One time there was five smokes carved Harlem sunsets on each other down on East Eighty-Four. There was blood on the furniture, blood on the walls, blood even on the ceil- ing. (James Ellroy) spade • Suddenly I knew — some big spade was going to leap out of the bedroom closet and spring for my heart with his knife. (Philip Roth) • 'I understand,' the receptionist said. 'I know what kind of massage you need. Now, Laverne's a spade. You ai n' t prej udi ced, are ya?' (Joseph Wambaugh) • This spade's the troublemaker. I think he's got a leaky seabag. Di ngal i ng. Psycho. (Joseph Wambaugh) spook (US) • He'd heard about the latest do-gooder scheme on the six o'clock news, the idea be- ing to compel criminal offenders to make restitution to their vic- tims... 'Course you ain't a spook. They might not let you in these programs so easy, you turned crooked.' (Joseph Wambaugh) • Maybe it was some other spooks... Do you care? Those niggers raped your woman, so what you did was right. (James Ellroy) • Some won't take spooks — Hell, don't make no difference to me. (Taxi Driver) Uncle Tom Specifically, a ser- vile black man. • The film's one sympathetic black character, a lovable Uncle Tom who served as a sidekick to the eponymous heroes, was cheerfully assassi- nated to supply a few seconds' worth of pathos. (Jonathan Coe) wog • Hospital staffed entirely by wogs, cheerful and incompe- tent. (Philip Larkin) • One might visit Hollywood proper to have lunch, what with Beverly Hills overrun by Arabs, Iranians, Tex- ans, and other wogs wi t h megabucks. (Joseph Wambaugh) • I've had enough of him — he stinks of garlic and wog grub. (Willis Hall) 9. o I Aussie -austrahano The term is completely inoffensive. * Arrogant Aussie, David Leapman's new biography of Mr. Murdoch, describes his New York Post as 'a force for evil'. (New York Times) • We bought one or two of every shellfish, most of them new to an American and a few of them repulsive, boiled them up and served them with beer on a table spread with newspapers. I was an Aussie that night, tossing back Foster's lager and as happy as I'd ever been. (Mary Cantwell) • Australiano arrogante, la nueva biograffa de David Leapman sobre el senor Murdoch, des- cribe a su peri6dico New York Post como 'una fuerza maligna'. • Compramos uno o dos de cada clase de ma- risco, la mayoria de ellos desconocidos para un americano y algunos otros repulsivos, los hervimos, y los servimos con cerveza en una mesa cubierta con periodicos. Era una austra- liana esa noche, tragando cerveza Foster y tan contenta como nunca. 102 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org EXERCISE 9.1 In each of the following lists, all the words are synonymous except one. Spot the odd man out and explain why the word in question is misplaced. 1. (a) kraut (b) kike (c) sheeny (d) mocky (e) Yid (f) Heebie 2. (a) wetback (b) spic (c) greaser (d) frog (e) greaseball (f) dago 3. (a) slopehead (b) slope (c) Nip (d) Chink (e) gook (f) wop 4. (a) Whitey (b) paddy (c) Boss Charley (d) honky (e) ofay (f) the Man 5. (a) Boche (b) squarehead (c) raghead (d) Fritz (e) Hun (f) Jerry 6. (a) jigaboo (b) jungle bunny (c) boogie (d) dink (e) coon (f) spade EXERCISE 9.2 What national or ethnic groups are referred to in the following typical racist complaints? Explain the offensive and derogatory terms shown in italics. 1. How would you feel about it if your sister was dating some greasy spiel 2. You can never trust the Micks. Sooner or later they'll stab you in the back. 3. What I can't stand about the/rags is that they're such self-satisfied, arrogant bastards. 4. All those kikes are interested in is getting their hands on your money. 5. If the jigaboos start moving into this neighborhood, our property won't be worth shit. 6. I have nothing against the ragheads, except that they're dirty, smelly, thieving, lying bastards. 7. Who do the Krauts think they are, dictating to the rest of us? You'd think they were the ones who won the war. 8. Your typical wop is nothing more than a ponced-up fruit. EXERCISE 9.3 Translate the following sentences into English. 1. Eres un asqueroso polaco y todos los polacos son unos ladrones. 2. Francia es un pais hermoso, con mujeres hermosas, comida maravillosa y vino maravilloso, pero desgraciadamente esta lleno de gabachos. 3. Quiere saber si le puedes conseguir un chollo con uno de esos coches deportivos italianos. 4. El tipico bianco lo tiene todo y el negro no tiene una mierda. 5. Los irlandeses ponian carteles en los muelles en los que ponia P RO HIBID O IT ALIANO S. 6. Le hubiese encantado ir a Africa y ser contratado como mercenario. 'Imagmate que te paguen por matar a negratas,' penso. 7. Estoy intentando animar- la, jestupido aleman! 8. jP uto estupido polaco!, se limpia la polla con las cortinas. 9. P or que los americanos dicen 'soplar' cuando quieren decir 'chupar'? 10. T u y yo sabemos lo que es un judfo — Uno Que Mato A Nuestro Senor. 11. P arecer ser que se esta llevando a cabo un trato con un sucio latino y que han recuperado parte del dinero. 12. Si habia una cosa que deseaba, era que hubiera una palabra tan sucia como 'negrata' para aplicarla a toda la humanidad. ED IT O RIAL ST ANLEY El Ingles P rohibido 103 www.FreeLibros.org EXERCISE 9.4 ( N e w re cruits to the US Marine Corps, de stine d to se rve in Vie tnam, are gre e te d by the ir Se nior Drill Instructor on the first day of training.) H A RT M A N : I am Gunnery Sergeant H artman, your Senior Drill Instructor. If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon, you will be a minister of death, praying for war. But until that day you are pukes! You're the lowest form of life on earth. You are not even human fucking beings! You are nothing but unorganized grabasstic pieces of amphibian shit! Because I am hard, you will not like me. But the more you hate me, the more you will learn. I am hard, but I am fair! T here is no racial bigotry here! I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. H ere you are all equally worthless! Do you maggots understand that? RECRU IT S: [in unison] Sir, yes, sir! H A RT M A N : Bullshit! I can't hear you! RECRU IT S: [louder] Sir, yes, sir! H A RT M A N : What's your name, scumbag? SN O WBA L L : [shouting] Sir, Private Brown, sir! H A RT M A N : Bullshit! From now on you're Private Snowball! Do you like that name? SN O WBA L L : [shouting] Sir, yes, sir! H A RT M A N : Well, there's one thing that you won't like, Private Snowball! T hey don't serve fried chicken and watermelon on a daily basis in my mess hall! SN O WBA L L : Sir, yes, sir! J O K ER: [whispering] Is that you, J ohn Wayne? Is this me? H A RT M A N : Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little Communist shit twinkle-toed cocksucker down here, who just signed his own death warrant? N obody, huh?! T he fairy fucking godmother said it! O ut-fucking-standing! I will P.T. you all until you fucking die! I'll P.T. you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk. Was it you, you scroungy little fuck, huh?! CO WBO Y: Sir, no, sir! H A RT M A N : You little piece of shit! You look like a fucking worm! I'll bet it was you! CO WBO Y: Sir, no, sir! From the screenplay Full Me tal Jacke t by G. H asford, M . H err and S. K ubrick Using w hat you have le arne d in this chapte r and in the pre ce ding e xe rcise s and w hat you can gue ss from the conte xt, find w ords or phrase s in the above passage corre sponding to the se de scriptions: 1. A term of insult, deriving from the slang word for vomit. 2. A n adjective and adverb with no precise meaning, used purely for emphasis. 3. A n insulting neologistic adjective, with no precise meaning in this context. 4. A word meaning excrement. 5. A n offensive term for a black person. 6. A n offensive term for a J ew. 7. A n offensive term for an Italian or person of Italian descent. 8. A n offensive term for a M exican or person of M exican descent. 9. A n interjection meaning 'N onsense!' 10. T hree insulting terms which can be applied to men. 11. A word meaning rectum. 12. A n adverbial expression used purely for emphasis. 10 4 El Ingles Prohibido EDIT O RIA L ST A N L EY www.FreeLibros.org 10: I DI OMAT I C U S AG E S 10. a I Expressions with "fuck" Fuck is used in a large number of phrasal verbs and idiomatic expressions, many of which have already been encountered in the preceding pages. Here are some others, all common. give a fuck A basic expression meaning to care. I t is often used in the negative, meaning not to care one whit, to be utterly in- different; and sometimes en- hanced with the adjective flying. E xpr essi ons wi t h t he same meaning are not give a damn and not give a rat's ass. • You made no attempt to disguise anything. You di dn' t give a f uck! (Deconstructing Harry) • I mag- ine you're a deer. You're pranc- ing around. BA M ! A fuckin' bul- let rips off part of your head! Your brains are lying on the ground in little bloody pieces. Now I ask you, do you give a fuck what kind of pants the son of a bitch who shot you was wearing?/ (My Cousin Vinny) • When grilled about her increasingly controver- sial appearance, Cher remarked: 'Am I obsessed with the way I look? Ooh ... Do you know what I'd like to say to that? I don't give a flying fuck.' (S alon) take a flying fuck S imilar in meaning to go to hell or go and fuck yourself. S ometimes en- hanced with humorous expres- sions like at a rolling doughnut, at the moon, or at a rubber duck. • — Oh G od, oh G od, what' ll I tell Rosie, what' ll I tell her? — Tell her to take a flying fuck, pal. T his concerns you and me, and nobody else. (D avid M airs) • As gently as I could, I would tell him to take a flying fuck at the moon. (Kurt Vonnegut Jr.) fuck all (U K) Nothing at all. C omparabl e expressi ons are damn all, bugger all and sod all. E uphemistic variants are sweet f.a. and sweet fanny adams. • Dear Jim, I 'm beginning a let- ter to you because there's fuck all to do and I 'm tired of doing it. (Philip Larkin) • Never accept what you don' t want. Keep re- fusing, and in time you may get what you do want. On the other hand you may end up with fuck all. (Philip Larkin) • He said: 'I f you want to have the baby, have it. I t's your decision,' as if it was fuck all to do with him. In prac- tice it was fuck all to do with him. He never took any notice of the baby when it arrived. (E .A . Whitehead) • If you ask me, we're heterosexual by default, not be decision. I t's just a question of who you fancy. I t's all about aes- thetics and it's fuck all to do with morality. (Trainspotting) fuck off To leave, depart, go away. O ften an injunction. • — I thought you said you never wanted to see me again. — I don't ever want to see you again, so will you fuck off back upstairs? (Naked) • — He's gonna have a word with his old lady. You're going to arrange a reunion. — S he' l l tell him to f uck off. (Robert S tone) • Amazing how quickly the bloom fades on 'fuck off' , you know. S ay it a couple of times running and you've got out of it nearly all of what you' re going to get. (Kingsley Amis) • 'Can I go home now?' He dismissed me with a wave. 'Yeah, fuck off. A nd don' t do this again.' (Robert M cLiam Wilson) go and fuck yourself An ex- pression of refusal. I nasmuch as it has any precise meaning, it may be translated as: may you be accursed, confounded, re- jected, humiliated, etc. • Hey, man, if my f ucki ng ex- wi f e asked me to take care of her fucking dog while she and her boyfriend went to Honolulu, I 'd tell her to go fuck herself. (The Big Lebowski) • S uddenly hate the guests. Have had to slave for two days, and now they will all swan in, demanding food like cuckoos. Feel like opening door and shouting, 'O h, go fuck your- selves.' (Helen Fielding) what the fuck O ften it is short for 'what the fuck does it mat- ter?' O r, it can simply mean 'what' with 'the fuck' added for emphasis: see 8.f above. • Well, what the fuck, it didn't cost you anything. (D avid M amet) • They have the right idea. A rmed to the hilt. S ticks, Mace, knives ... who knows what the fuck they got. (David Mamet) • S he seemed like a hell of a nice girl, huh? The lit- tle I saw of her ... Well, what the fuck, I only saw her for a minute. I mean first impressions of this kind are often misleading, huh? (David Mamet) • You're seeing a lot of this broad. You getting seri- ous? But what the fuck, that' s your business. Ri ght ? (D avid E D I T O RI A L S T A NLE Y E l I ngles Prohibido 105 www.FreeLibros.org Mamet) • Well, what the fuck, I was only a kid. A kid laughs these things off. You forget, you go on living ... what the fuck, huh? (David Mamet) thank fuck Substitution of fuck for God, Christ, etc. • Thank fuck for that. Just for a moment there, I thought we were in trou- ble. (James Laffan) fuck knows Substitution of fuck for God, Christ, etc. • That's all Sandra' s collection. She's in Zimbabwe at the moment. And fuck knows what she's gonna bring back from there. (Naked) • When the uniform had moved on, Pyle said, 'Fuck knows what they wanted us for with him around.' (G.F. Newman) fucking A (US) An exclamation of pleasure, joy, triumph, etc. meaning: absolutely, definitely. Usually the word right can be substituted for A. • They're all hugging and kissing and happy with each other, and Ice comes up to Maverick and he says, ' Man, you can ride my tail anytime!' And what does Mav- erick say? 'You can ride mine!' Fuckin' -A, man! (Sleep With Me) • — This is theft. You're gonna pay for this. — You're fucking A he's gonna pay for it, man. He's gonna burn for it. (Robert Stone) • — They love it. — You're fuckin' A. They love it. The more ghastly, the more horrible, the more they love it. (Robert Stone) • — He's a real good card player. — You' re fucking A he is. The fucker won four hundred bucks last night. (David Mamet) • —You're prob- ably just upset. —You're fuckin' A I'm upset. I am very upset, Don. (David Mamet) get to fuck Expression of sur- prise, disbelief or angry rebuttal. • — How old do you think I am? — About f orty. — I'm t went y-seven. — Oh, get to f uck! (Naked) fucked if I know Equivalent of I'm damned if I know: I don't know at all, I have no idea. • — What's the matter? What's going on? — Fucked if I know. (Naked) sure as fuck Certainly. Cf. sure as hell. • You better start think- ing about it. 'Cause I sure as f uck am thinking about it. In f ac t , t hat ' s all I' m t hi nki ng about. (Reservoir Dogs) am I fuck? A c onst ruc t i on which can be employed with any tense, rather like a question tag, signifying: by no means, cer- tainly not. • — It's my good-luck charm. — Has it brought you much? — Has it fuck? (Naked) • — I've been looking all over for you! —Aye, well, I was with him. — Were you fuck. (Naked) • — I'll bring it back next week. — Will you fuck? You'll bring it back this very day, otherwise it stays right here. (James Laffan) fuck around with somebody To cause someone trouble. • Being made a wiseguy ... means you belong to a family. It means that nobody can f uck around with you. It also means that you could fuck around with anybody just as long as they aren' t also a member. It's like a licence to steal. It's a licence to do any- thing. (GoodFellas) .fuck with somebody Identical in meaning to fuck around with somebody. • We are the middle children of history, raised by tel- evision to believe that someday we'll be millionaires and movie stars and rock stars. But we won't. And we're just learning this fact. So don't fuck with us. (Fight Club) • Look, they abso- lutely will not bother you... they will not fuck with you if you de- liver. (Robert Stone) • — Jesus. Are you fucking with me here? — I'm not f ucking with you, Donny. (David Mamet) fuck around with something To tamper, play, toy or meddle with something, to treat some- thing in an irresponsible way. • This is your life you're fuckin' around wit h, which you shouldn't be doin', 'cause you only got one. (Pulp Fiction) • Quit fucking around with that switch and pay attention. What I tell you now may just keep your ass out of jail. (Lew Cole) fuck somebody over To victim- ize and maltreat, sexually or oth- erwise. • — 'Your boyf riend Broadway Joe has a bayonet. He's gonna do you some nasti- ness with it tonight. He's on his way right now to fuck you over.' — 'Fuck me over?' — 'It won't be as nice as it sounds', Hicks said. (Robert Stone) • You eat shit all your life and you hate every fucking minute of it and you'd like to fuck over half the country but you have to swallow it because you've got no guts. (Robert Stone) • God, that' s who. He's been fucking us over since way back in Genesis. (Salon) • They were so accustomed to being used and fucked over that they probably would do nothing. (Howard S. Becker) fuck somebody in the ass Meta- phorically, to cause someone se- rious difficulties or problems. • What is this 'day of rest' shit, 106 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org man? What is this bullshit, man? I don't fucking care! It don't matter to Jesus! But you're not fooling me! You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus! It's bush league psych-out stuff! Laugh- able, man! I would' ve fucked you in the ass Saturday, I'll fuck you in the ass next Wednesday instead! (The Big Lebowski) fuck somebody out of some- thing To deprive someone of something, often by dishonest or underhand means, or to cause somebody to be deprived of something, e.g. through incom- petence. • You be as cold as you want, but you j ust fucked a good man out of six thousand dollars and his goddam bonus cause you di dn' t know t he shot. (David Mamet) fuck a duck! An expression of surprise and incredulity. • I wish to Christ I had had brains enough to think of a title like that... Well, fuck a duck! I congratu- late him just the same. (Henry Miller) 10. b Expressions with "shit' shit, jackshit Very little or nothing. • There's a gulf in this country, an ever-widening abyss between the people who have stuff, and the people who don't have shit. (Grand Canyon) • You think you know it all, don't you? You're 25 years old. You're a baby. You don' t know shit. (Swimming With Sharks) • You guys don't say shit about who you are, where you been or what you've done. (Reservoir Dogs) • Finally I said, 'Fuck this shit.' I'm making this bitch rich. She didn't have to do jack shit, she never even had to meet all these people. I was doin' all the work. (Reservoir Dogs) ... and shit Words often tagged on to the end of statements, meaning (when they mean any- thing): and so on, etcetera. • My book, ' Whi t e-Hat i ng Coon' , don't have any of that bullshit. The hero's name is Maleequa and he's descended from the black tribe that established the first society on the planet while all you European motherfuckers were all hiding out in caves and shit, terrified of the sun. (Chas- ing Amy) • I thought you had this place cased, man. You said you had maps and shit. (Robert Stone) • Me and Rick Derris used to hang out with her for awhile... 'cuz her parents were like never home, and shit. (Chasing Amy) • And one day, Rick just whips it out, and starts rubbing it on her leg and shit. (Chasing Amy) She's all wet and shit, and I just went to work. (Chasing Amy) full of shit Wrong, mistaken, ill-informed, not to be credited. • I was young, too. I felt just like you. Hated authority. Hated all my bosses, thought they were ful l of shit. (Swimming With Sharks) • 'John,' she said, 'you are so full of shit. Honestly — you're a bad guy.' (Robert Stone) • You sit on a barstool next to a man who's full of shit and pretty soon you'll know it. (Ethan Coen) • If everybody here says you are full of shit, and you don't ac- knowledge it or see how that as- sessment serves you, you are doomed. (Business Week) a shitload of... A great deal of, a lot of. • Oh wow, she doesn't know you're here. Jesus, you could get in a shitload of trou- ble for this. (Cruel Intentions) • These little gadgets here are real popular. We're moving a shitload of them right now. (Stanley Home) give a shit Identical in mean- ing to give a fuck in 10.a above. • You're so self-engrossed, you don't give a shit who you de- stroy. (Deconstructing Harry) • Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one here who gives a shit about the rules? (The Big Lebowski) a crock of shit Nonsense; lies and exaggerations; mendacious cant. • — This is such a crock of shit. — Mr Slade, will you watch your language. (Scent of a Woman) • My sane mind seems more and more in charge. What a crock of shit sobriety is! It makes every- thing that used to be so easy sud- denly so hard. (Erica Jong) tough shit An i roni cal and mocking expression, meaning: that's too bad, that's a terrible shame. • Your girlfriend doesn't love you? Tough shit, that's the way it goes. (Swimming With Sharks) • That ' s t ough shi t , man, my heart really bleeds. (W.T. Tyler) (all) to shit An expression used as an intensifier, equivalent in meaning to (all) to fuck, (all) to hell, (all) to pieces, etc. • 'Hue City,' Hicks said. 'We had guys who were dead the day they hit that place. I had six buddies shot EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 107 www.FreeLibros.org to shit in Hue City in one morn- ing.' (Robert Stone) • The car starts rolling down the hill, and my right knee is cut up all to shit. (Chasing Amy) shoot the shit To chat amiably. • Too bad I won' t be around for a lively conversation, but I'm getting out of here. It would have been nice to talk with you. We'd have had great fun shootin' the shit, you and I. (William Styron) • Listen, I'm gonna come over, we' ll shoot the shit, OK? See ya. (Lenny Bruce) shit somebody To lie, exagger- ate, try to deceive someone. • Carl looks at me in despair. 'Is he shitting me, that bastard?' he mur mur s in my ear. (Henry Miller) • What are you smiling for? Was he shitting me about that? (Henry Miller) • The sky's the limit, Wilson, I shit you not. (W.T. Tyler) cut the shit To stop talking non- sense. Similarly, cut the crap. • — Cut the shit! I don't think you called anybody except some cooze you once fucked... And I don't think that' s good enough. — Yeah, well I don' t give a fly- ing fuck what you think! (Res- ervoir Dogs) talk shit To talk nonsensically or pretentiously. See 7.f above. • 'Please stop talking shit' , she begged him. (Robert Stone) look like shit To look terrible. • — What are you doing here? You look like shit. — Just try- ing to blend in wi t h the sur- roundings. (Naked) take shit from somebody In this expression, shit signifies disrespect, insults, offensive or contemptuous treatment which one refuses to accept. • — Don' t forget who's doing who a favor. — If the price of that favor is I gotta take shit, he can stick his favor straight up his ass. (Pulp Fiction) • 'He's a tough guy. He doesn't take any shit from any- body.' A good quality when a salesperson is wrangling with competitors; bad when he or she is dealing with customers and colleagues. (Peter Carbonara) be on someone's shit list To be on an imaginary list of people who are hated, not trusted, to be avoided, etc. • You are definitely top of my shit list, man. I don't care how long it takes. Sooner or later I' ll get you for t hi s. (Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia) to pull shit To behave dishon- estly or outrageously. • You see that slut behind my back. You've been talking to her on the phone for weeks! Then you pull that shit this morning, freaking out because I' ve gone down on a couple of guys. (Clerks) • You ai n' t Lennie Fleming. I don' t know what kind of shit you' re trying to pull here, pal, but I in- tend to find out. (Lew Cole) when the shit hits the fan When trouble breaks out; when things turn nasty; when the cri- sis erupts. • You're tight as a drum. . . you' r e like t he most wired guy I ever been wit h. . . but I bet you' re a good man when the shit hits the fan. (Sea of Love) a shit storm A very confused situation or affair; a crazy, dan- gerous j umbl e. • You know I have a kid, he's twelve now. Last summer I sent him to survival school. Toughen him up for the big shit storm. (Robert Stone) be in deep shit To be in serious trouble. • 'I think we're in deep shi t , guys, ' Gr at t ar ol a said. 'These are the dumbest bastards I' ve ever run into. We' ve got managers who don't understand, and are a bunch of hust l ers. We've got brokers who are stu- pi d, and not well t r ai ned. ' (Business Week) be up shit creek (without a paddle) To be in serious diffi- culty; ruined. • If the cops see you, you' ll be up shit creek for sure. (Robert L. Chapman) • Where does all this leave Japan, in Simpey's view? Up shit creek. Simpey is bearish about Japanese multinationals. (Fortune) shit a brick To have an emo- tional crisis, usually to become upset or angry. • 'None of you came to me, I approached all of you. I know you. I know your work, I know your reputation. I know you as men. Except for this guy.' Joe points a finger at Freddy. Freddy shits a brick. (Reservoir Dogs) that shit A phrase used to refer back to a previously stated sub- ject. • What you don't know about me I could just about squeeze into the Grand fucking Canyon. Did you know I always wanted to be a dancer in Vegas? Bet you didn't even know that shit, did you? (Chasing Amy) • — She worked for a theater in the city. Before that she worked in the Anthropol- ogy Department at U.C. She stud- ied acting in New York a long time ago. — I know all that shit, man. (Robert Stone) this shit Refers to the present unpl easant or annoyi ng situa- tion. • 'Why does this shit hap- pen to me?' he asked Marge. 'Do I like it?' (Robert Stone). • Don' t tell nobody about this. This shit' s bet ween me and 108 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org you. . . It ai n' t nobody else' s business. (Pulp Fiction) scared shitless Terrified. A var i ant is shit-scared. From the verbal expression to scare the shit out of someone; see 8.g above. • Well, what aren' t you scared of? You live in a safe little world where no one challenges you and you're scared shitless to do any- thing but defend yourself be- cause that would mean you' d have to change. (Good Will Hunting) • You' re j ust shi t- scared, you' re like a frightened little lad, who wants to run home to his mammy. (John McGrath) • When art lies, it becomes worth- less. So I gotta keep telling the truth, even if it scares the shit out of me, like it scares the shit out of you. (Grand Canyon) go batshit (US) To become crazy, uncontrollable. • Some guys couldn' t take it, they went batshit. It would drive you nuts. (Robert Stone) go apeshit (US) To become ir- rational and destructive; run ber- serk. • Okay, so I tailed Bud White. Dud was afraid he'd go apeshit over some hooker snuff, 'cause White had that tendency where young st uf f was con- cerned. (James Ellroy) holy shit An expression of sur- prise, incredulity, etc., in which shit is substituted for Moses, Je- sus, God, etc. • Holy shit, is that the time? We've gotta beat traf- fic. (Chasing Amy) • Holy dogshit! Texas! Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cow- boy! And you don' t look much like a steer to me, so that kinda narrows it down. (Full Metal Jacket) 10. c Expressions with "ass", "arse somebody's ass (US) The word ass is often used for emphasis and euphony to si gni f y the whole person, i.e. the person being addressed or talked about. Thus, your ass means you, her ass means her, etc. • You're not lying, are you, John? You're not lying to protect her ass? (Lew Cole) • I will never forgive your ass for this shit. This is some fucked-up repugnant shit. (Pulp Fiction) • God was here before the Marine Corps! So you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the Corps! (Full Metal Jacket) bust one's ass (US) To work or perform to one's utmost; to ex- ert oneself considerably. • You don't have any idea what you're talking about. These peo- ple bust their ass. This is a hard job. (Reservoir Dogs) • —A guy busts his damned ass and you don' t appreci ate it. — You haven' t been busting your ass, Chinaski. (Charles Bukowski) get one's ass in gear To get down to work; become opera- tional; stop loafing and wasting time. • Go on home, get a nice hot bath. Rest up... 15 minutes. Then get your asses back in gear. We're under a lot of pressure, you know. (All the President's Men) haul ass (US) To leave, de- part, clear out; to act promptly, especi al l y in r esponse to a command. • Now come on, haul ass. Just get the hell outta here! (Lenny Bruce) kick ass To assert power, be rough, take revenge, punish. • So revolution is in — boots and car- tridge belts and Chinese shit. All the rich suburban kids — their parents never bought them cap pistols, now they want to kick ass. (Robert Stone) • Don, I talk straight to you 'cause I respect you. It's kickass or kissass, Don, and I'd be lying if I told you any different. (David Mamet) • You made me bleed, motherfucker! You gonna pay. I'm gonna kick ass for this! (Joseph Wambaugh) kiss my ass To kiss someone's ass is to flatter one's superiors; see 6.b above. The imperative kiss my ass is unr elat ed and means the same as go and fuck yourself. • What the fuck hap- pened to the Delta I used to know? Where' s t he spi ri t? Where' s the guts, huh? 'Ooh, we' re afrai d to go wi th you, Bluto, we might get in trouble.' Well, just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this. (Animal House) • You ever heard of 'marshalling your sales force' ...what are you, you' re a secretary, John. Fuck you. That's my message to you. Fuck you and kiss my ass. (David Mamet) my arse An expression of utter scepticism, disbelief or defi- ance. • — What's up? — Noth- ing. — Nothing my fuckin arse. (Shaun Herron) • — One was a man, a good-looking man at that. — Man my ass, they were lesbos. (Chester Himes) in a pig's arse An expression EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 109 www.FreeLibros.org of vehement denial, meaning: not at all, never. • — Look, if it'll make you happy, I'll go and apologize. — In a pig's arse you will. You've done enough dam- age already. (John Ogilby) not know one's arse from one's elbow To be ignorant, hope- lessly ill-informed or stupid. • As for foreign policy, it's clear to everyone that Mr Gore doesn't know his ass from his elbow. (Village Voice) • Can I show you something, pal? You see that at the top of your legs? That's your arse, and that t here' s your fuckin' elbow. Do you wanna write it down? (Naked) have one's head up one's ass (US) To behave stupidly, blindly, without a proper regard for the consequences. • What are you asking that guy for? What's he gonna tell you? What's he know, for Christ's sake? He has his head up his ass 'on a permanent basis. (William Bennet) a pain in the arse An annoying or obnoxious person or thing. • Then that got to be a pain in the ass. People called me on the phone all the f ucki n' time. I couldn't rent a fuckin' tape with- out six fuckin' phone calls inter- rupting me. (Reservoir Dogs) • You can see immediately what a pain in the ass the Borowskis are. (Henry Miller) • 'I can see where you could be a pain in the ass,' he told her. (Robert Stone) • I thought he'd never shut the fuck up. What a pain in the ass. (GoodFellas) tight-assed A tense or morally rigid person. • Beth Kramer's an aggressive, tight-assed, busy- body cunt, and it's none of her fucking business how I speak to my son. (Deconstructing Harry) • He sucked my cock. After- wards I fucked him. It was dif- ficult to get in. He had a very tight arse. A Catholic upbring- ing, I expect. (Joe Orton) • Out- side the main building was a group of stuffy, tight-arsed Eng- lish and American businessmen. (Joe Orton) someone's ass is on the line Someone is at risk; the subject has taken a dangerous responsi- bility. • We lose the perspective of who we are. It's tragic that our entrepreneurs — the people who put their asses on the line every day, the people who have the intelligence, drive, ambition, commitment, and courage — should wake up one morning and realize that they've created a mon- ster that's devouring their life. (Lanny Goodman) • The reason I make the decisions and you don't, sweetheart, is because it's my ass that's on the line, not yours. (Lew Cole) a horse's ass A persistent and obnoxious fool; a contemptible person. • Baxter, you sound like a silly pseudointellectual horse's ass. You're gettin' embarrassin'. (Joseph Wambaugh) laugh one's ass off To laugh heartily, unrestrainedly. Substi- tution of ass for head in laugh one's head of f . • I'll bet you ten thousand dollars he laughs his ass off. (Pulp Fiction) assways Incorrectly, awkwardly. • He stands there with one arm in his coat sleeve and his hat on assways and he begins to dream aloud. (Henry Miller) 10. d I Expressions with "balls" "ballocks' a lot of balls Balls signify cour- age, nerve, guts. • I got respect for this kid. He's got a lotta fuckin' balls, this kid. Good for you. Don't take no shit off no- body. (GoodFellas) • My second ex-wife. I liked her best in some ways. She had the most balls. Took every dime I had. I like to see her once in a while and visit my ex-dog and my ex-car. (Joseph Wambaugh) • Eddie had balls and audacity and he was not basically rash. (Robert Stone) bust one's balls To take a great deal of trouble with something; to exert oneself to the utmost. • Give me the fucking money! You hear me? I got to come here and bust my balls! Give me the fucking money! (GoodFellas) bust (break) somebody's balls To cause someone a great deal of trouble, or to punish harshly. • People remember. They'll re- member specific people who broke their balls. (Lenny Bruce) • She' s a good woman. You di dn' t treat her ri ght . She walked. You want to kick some- body's ass about it, kick your own. You want to break balls? Break your own. (Sea of Love) • I'm hearing things from secu- rity. They're all ex-cops. The Sheriff's lookin' to bust your balls. (Casino) • — I swear to God I've never known a ball- buster like you in my whole life. — Hey, who loves you more than I do? I'll do anything for you. — Yeah, except to stop busting 110 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org my balls. (GoodFellas) • Mackey was j ust finishing up the second oh-so-qui ck mar- riage to that cunt who not only busted his balls but jumped up and down on them with cleats, l eavi ng hi m as ba nkr upt as Chrysler Corporation. (Joseph Wambaugh) have somebody by the balls To have someone in a helpless situ- ation; to have absolute control over someone. • They have me by the balls. On account of the bust they can put me back in the madhouse for life. If I do what they want, I'll get maintenance and stay out. (Robert Stone) • You take him and you put him down in some strange town with just a nickel in his pocket, and by nightfall he'll have that town by the balls. This is not talk, Bob, t hi s is act i on. (David Mamet) • You're in no position to dictate terms, Jacky. We have you by the balls. (William Bennet) give someone a ballocki ng (UK) To reprimand someone. • I explained to them that Kathy was due at any moment and I needed a mattress for her to sleep on. Frank gave me a ballocking for not drawing the mattress earlier. (Ken Lukowiak) • Sir John French, CIGS, came down for open day, gave every- one a bollocking for slackness and indiscipline, and shortly af- terwards retired the Commandant. (Times Literary Supplement) not get one's balls in an uproar (US) To avoid becoming excited or upset, to remain calm. (The British equivalent of this expres- sion is not get one's knickers in a twist.) • Okay, okay, okay, I'm sorry. I put that rather badly. I expressed myself clumsily. No need to get your balls in an up- roar. (Robert Morrison) 10. e Expressions with "hell' not give a hoot in hell To be ut- terly indifferent to; to have no re- spect for. • Americans love a win- ner and do not tolerate a loser. Americans play to win all the time. I wouldn't give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. (Pattori) for the hell of it For no definite or useful reason; for fun; casually. • What the hell, good for the goose, good for the gander. We were legally separated. I made it with a lotta chicks, you're enti- tled to make it with a lotta guys. I'd just like to know, for the hell of it. Did you make it with a lot of guys? (Lenny Bruce) a snowball's chance in hell Not even the remotest possibility, no chance whatever. • Can he beat Wilkenson? Can he beat a former world champion? Are you kid- di ng me? He doesn' t have a snowball's chance in hell. (John Ogilby) give someone hell To reprimand or punish severely. • If Itor sus- pected I was doing stuff behind his back, he' d give me hell, I suppose, and then we'd end up getting rather angry with each other. (Gabriella T. Oldfield) play hell with something To damage, destroy; to thwart. • This is a holiday resort, we live for the summer months. If peo- ple watch t.v. all winter long and see the oil washing up on the beaches and the birds covered with slime and whatnot, believe me, t hat ' s the kind of public- i t y t hat pl ays hel l wi t h our bookings. (Guardian) 10. f I Expressions with "bitch' bitch about something To complain, to gripe. • It started over Sam' s bi t chi ng about Kimberly' s cooking which like everyt hi ng else in their mar- riage had deteriorated to the point that even she could hardly eat it. (Joseph Wambaugh) • We then spent the rest of the day- light hours having to listen to Frank bitching about Yank and Yank bitching about Frank. I swear, the way they were go- ing on you would have thought t hey were mar r i ed. (K en Lukowiak) I'll be a son of a bitch! An expression of surprise or incre- dulity, identical in meaning to / ' / / be damned. • Austin? They promoted Austin? They chose the most dishonest, incompe- t ent , usel ess ni ncompoop i n the group? Well, I'll be a son of a bitch! Now I know they're ca- pable of anything. (aE.R. Lever) EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 111 www.FreeLibros.org 10. g I Expressions with "bugger' bugger somebody about (UK) To cause difficulties for someone. • Well, if your New Year resolu- tion is not to let any bugger bug- ger you about , mi ne is not to give a bugger for any bugger. (Philip Larkin) • Police interven- tion is common. 'They bugger us about f or no r eason, ' sai d Rainey. 'They move us on just for the sake of it.' (Guardian) bugger off (UK) To leave, de- part, go away. Cf. fuck o ff, etc. • Tell him to bugger off from me. Emot i onal f uckwi t . (Hel en Fielding) • There was no sign of life. Either he had buggered off home already or he was sleep- ing on the job. (Roy Logan) bugger all (UK) Absol ut el y nothing. Cf. fuck all, damn all, so d all, etc. • Admittedly I know bugger all about politics. (Philip Larkin) • I have got a first in my Schools... It is all the more re- markabl e because I made nu- merous blunders and knew sweet bugger al l about my subject . (Philip Larkin) 10. h Expressions with "piss' piss with rain • It was pissing with rain when we left the house. Mud al l over t he pl ace. (Joe Orton) • You may think that ac- quiring water on a place like the Falkland Islands would not fall into the category of one of the world's most difficult things to do; after all, it does piss wi t h rain all day almost every day. (Ken Lukowiak) get pissed, be pissed (UK) In Br i t i sh usage, pissed means drunk. Related expressions are to go o n the piss (to go drink- i ng) and a piss-up (a dri nki ng session). • I've got a great idea, Alexander. I think I'm going to get pissed and jump off the wa- t er-t ower. (John McGrat h) • Three months before that, out on an exercise, he climbed up a py- lon, pissed as a fart, and swung hand over hand along the wire; t hen he d r opped of f . (John McGrath) • I used to have fanta- sies about him getting pissed and wrapping his car around a lamp- post. That would have made me happy. (E.A. Whitehead) piss off Go away, depart . Cf. fuck o ff, so d o ff, etc. • His boils are slightly better but still pain- f ul . ' Imagi ne how Job fel t ,' I sai d, ' and you' l l f orget your trouble.' 'Piss off,' he said. (Joe Orton) • He leaned round the door and shouted something in Arabic. It sounded like some phrase like, 'You won' t be needed tonight.' The boy pissed off. (Joe Orton) • We were going to get there, do a bit of sabre rattling, the Argies would piss off back to Argentina and we' d all sail home disap- poi nt ed . (Ken Lukowi ak) • I would be able to get the job done in half the time if they would all just piss off and leave me alone. (Ken Lukowiak) piss somebody off In both Brit- ish and American English, this means to make somebody angry or i ndi gnant . Onl y in the US, however, does pissed used with- out o ff mean angry. • Well, what- ever he said pissed off the bar- t end er pl ent y. And t hose unsavory characters I was tell- ing you about? They got pissed too. St art ed pul l i ng guns and knives and what have you. (Des- perado ) • I d on' t mi nd t hat you're careful. This doesn't piss me off. What gets me mad is when you get l oose. (Davi d Mamet) • Everybody was pissed off when I was a kid. I was pretty pi ssed of f mysel f . (Rober t Stone) • This guy' s a fucki ng psycho. And if you think Joe's pissed at us, that ai n' t nothing compared to how pissed off I am at hi m, for put t i ng me i n t he same room as this bastard. (Res- ervo ir Do gs) piss somethi ng away To wast e, squander. • I mean, we pi ss away a mi l l i on dollars on Radio Free Europe, and don' t know anyt hi ng about the coun- t ry wi t hi n t he count ry — don' t know anyt hi ng about Mi ssi s- si ppi . We got to stop pi ssi ng away all the money on Radi o Free Europe. (Lenny Bruce) take the piss (out of somebody) (UK) To tease, make fun of or mock someone. • Oh, d on' t fucki n' take the piss out of me, you bastard! (Naked) • — Are you taking the piss? — You're f ucki n' gi vi ng i t away, aren' t yer? (Naked) • — Why do you feel the need to take the pi ss? — I'm not taking the piss. It's ni ce t hat . (Naked) • I had the feeling he was t aki ng the piss 112 El Ingles Prohi bi do EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org out of me. Bloody cheek. (Helen Fielding) piss against the wind To waste one's time and effort. • This will never wor k. Don' t you see, we' re j ust pissing against the wind. We don't have a hope in hell of convincing them with this. (Daniel Ogg) a piece of piss (UK) Something extremely easy to do. Humorous alteration of a piece of cake. • So what's hard about teaching in a school like this? Compared to your inner cities, it's a piece of piss. (David Bellis) pisswarm As warm as fresh urine. • — What do you want? — Beer. — All I have is piss- war m Chongo. — That' s my brand. Mmmmm... this is damn good. (Desperado) full of piss and vinegar (US) Brimming with energy; peppy and assertive. • I hate that bas- tard. How does he manage to be so bright-eyed and bushy tailed and full of piss and vin- egar at this hour of the morn- 10. i Expressions with "tits get on somebody's tits (UK) To annoy or irritate someone, espe- cially repeatedly. • — And what about Andrew? Why are you al- ways needling him? — Oh, he gets on my tits. (E.A. Whitehead) tits and ass A display of female bosoms and bottoms. • Tits and ass, tits and ass, that's what the attraction is. (Lenny Bruce) a tit man A man whose favourite part of the female body is the breasts. • Rufus is a tit man / Suck- ing on his momma's gland... / Come on, give the little baby a squirt. (Loudon Wainwright) cold as a witch's tit Extremely cold. • For the love of Jesus, get a fire going quick! It's colder than a witch's tit in here. (Ian Cochrane) 10. j I Expressions with "finger' stand around with one's finger up one ass To be idle and unpro- ductive; to be helpless. • Why are you here then? If all you're going to do's stand around with your fin- ger up your arse, you're fuck all use to me. You might as well fuck off right now. (John Ogilby) get one's finger out To be- come serious, to get down to work. • Strong language in the mouth of royalty still surprises. Back in the sixties Prince Philip caused a stir by telling British workers it was time to get their finger out. (Daily Mirror) give somebody the finger (US) To make a lewd, insulting ges- ture by brandishing the middle finger while the other fingers re- main folded down. Another ex- pression with the same meaning is to flip somebody the bird. The meaning of the gesture is fuck you or up yours! In Britain the equivalent gesture involves rais- ing two fingers; hence one is said to give somebody the V-sign. • What amazes me is that you have decided not just to disagree with the U.S. government but to give it the finger in public, to embarrass and demean the in- dividuals leading the govern- ment's efforts. (Fortune) • — Can you sum up your reaction to the government's proposal in a few words? — I can sum it up in two fingers. (Ballymena Times) MM 10. k Expressions with "farr an old fart Any middle-aged or older male. • — So why did ya mar r y her ? — I love her. Pretty silly, an old fart like me, huh? (Reservoir Dogs) • Go into wor k looking drop-dead gorgeous. Leave no one — espe- cially Daniel — in any doubt that you've thrown him over and sud- denly discovered how marvellous life is without that pompous, dis- solute old fart bossing you around. (Helen Fielding) not give a fiddler's fart To be completely indifferent to; not to care at all. Cf: not give a fuck, etc. • What happens next has nothing to do with me anymore. I'm out of it. I don't give a fid- dler's fart what happens. (Shaun Herron) EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 113 ing? (Bert Garigan) www.FreeLibros.org 10. 1 I Expressions with "pussy to pussy out on somebody To cancel an action or wi t hdraw from it because of fear; to get cold feet. • Don't pussy out on me now. They don't know. They don' t know shi t . You' re not gonna get hurt. (Reservoir Dogs) pussy whipped (US) The term is used of a man henpecked or dominated by a woman. • Dan, I can advise, I can counsel, I can speak to you out of my experi- ence ... But in the final analy- sis, you are on your own. If you want my opinion, however, you are pus s y- whi pped. (Davi d Mamet) • Some men are pussy whipped from the day they are born, some have it happen to them later in life, some never. (Judith Krantz) 10. m Expressions with "up' up yours A vigorous exclamation of defiance, contempt, rejection, etc. Short for shove it up your ass or stick it up your hole or stuff it up your bum and similar expres- sions. • Roberta was quite sur- prised by the note sent the Fields Foundation by Mrs Ralph. 'Up yours' the note said. Mrs Ralph did not appreciate rejection. (John Irving) • 'You're dismissed as of this day,' he said in a strained voice. 'You may pick up your fi- nal paycheck at five o'clock.' 'Up yours, Weasel, you're firing a man who's going to be as famous as Thomas Wolfe.' (William Styron) get it up To achieve and retain an erection. • It was no good. I couldn't get it up in the state of Israel. (Philip Roth) 10. n Expressions with "get get stuffed (UK) Equivalent of go and fuck oneself. • Discuss, compare, contrast, illustrate. Do not write on both sides of the pa- per at once. Candidates prefer- ring to be ranked by continuous assessment can get s t uf f ed. (Philip Larkin) get off with something To get relief or pleasure from some- thing; to have an orgasm. • So just who the fuck do you think you are, God's gift to Women? I mean where do you fucking get of f wi t h t hi s shi t ? (Davi d Mamet) • It is led by trendy bi- sexual types, who love to get off amidst the chic accoutrements of a big smack-and-coke party. (Albert Goldman) get somebody off To bring some- body to sexual climax. • Sixteen years in the slammer without so much as a whiff of pussy. I got him off in f our seconds flat. (Gabriella T. Oldfield) get a little on the side To be s e xua l l y u n f a i t h f u l . • How woul d I feel if I learned my husband was getting some on t he si de? Di s appoi nt ed, of course, hurt — but not neces- sarily surprised. (Salon) get it on To perform the sex act. • The guy' s working for me for years and all the while, unbe- knownst to me, he's getting it on wi t h my old lady. (Leonard Warin) 114 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org EXERCISE 10.1 Complete the following sentences by choosing the appropriate words in a, b, c, d, or e. In each case, only one answer is possible. 1. I don't give a fuck what he thinks. He can go and take (a) a rat's ass (b) sweet fanny adams (c) a rubber duck (d) a flying fuck 2. If he wants to keep his job, he'd better get his at the moon for all I care. (e) a fiddler's fart . in gear and stop fucking about. (a) ass (b) arse (c) backside (d) bottom (e) butt 3. Those bastards didn't pay me what they owed me. They fucked three months' salary. (a) me over (b) me around (c) me out of (d) me away from (e) with 4. Listen, I have a lot of work to do. Why don't you stop and let me get on with it? (a) cutting my crap (b) cutting the cheese (c) hauling ass (d) buggering my backside (e) busting my balls EXERCISE 10.2 Translate the following sentences into English. 1. No podia comprender por que no la mandaba a la mierda de una punetera vez. 2. No tiene ni puta idea. 3. Vete a la mierda! 4. —,;,Que gilipolleces estas haciendo, tio? — Yo no hago gilipolleces! 5. jA la mierda con esto! Me voy a casa. 6. Bueno, hazlo como quieras; ;Que mierda importa! 7. No hizo un carajo! 8. Voy a dejar este trabajo y me voy al cono de una vez. 9. Que cono pasa contigo? Donde cono vas? 10. — No es esto peligroso? — Carajo si lo se. 11. Estoy mas jodido que el cono. 12. Me cago en la mar! Como has logrado hacerlo? 13. jQue examen ni que cono! Tu te vienes conmigo. 14. ;Se jodio el invento! 15. No me importa un carajo lo que digas. 16. i,Que le pida yo disculpas? jUn carajo! 17. Entonces me dijo: 'Dame solo un besito.' ';Vete a tomar por culo!' le dije. 18. Repetir la escena? Me cago en la mar! 19. Lo mas probable es que hicieras alguna de tus gilipolleces como de costumbre. 20. — Te gustan mis piernas todavia? — Cono, si. EXERCISE 10.3 Translate the following sentences into English. 1. Ya es hora de que espabile. 2. Lo que me jode es tener que hacer el trabajo de ella. 3. Francamente, es un pesado de mierda. 4. Deja de darme el conazo, ya te he dicho que no lo tengo. 5. — Se casaron en Japon. — No jodas! 6. jQue conazo eres! 7. No le hagas caso, es un mentiroso de mierda. 8. Es como la polvora. Francamente, le odio. 9. El ruido le dio un susto de muerte. Estaba cagada de miedo. 10. Deja de ref unf unar! La situacion ya es lo suficientemente mala sin necesidad de que tu te quejes. 11. Se pone muy nervioso cuando hay dificultades, cuando la mierda empieza a salpicar. 12. Estoy harto de que me jodan. 13. No lo quiero. Que se lo metapor el culo! 14. Dejade burlarte de mi! 15. Le importa una mierda lo que piensen los demas. 16. Si hay algo peor que un conazo es una zorra conazo. 17. Su mujer le armo una buena por llegar tarde. 18. Ahora si que estamos jodidos. 19. Me esta cabreando. 20. El contable se marcho con todo el dinero y les dejo con el culo al aire. EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 115 www.FreeLibros.org E X E R C I S E 10.4 (A magazine columnist pays tribute to the most frequently used swearword in the English language.) I love the F-word. I never tire of it. I 've been told its unladylike, and I 'm sure that's true, but what the heck — nothing says it better. Maybe the best thing about it is its manifold use: From the essential 'Fuck you!' to the relatively genteel 'Well, fuck me!' You don't have to be a sailor to revel in this word. Here is a sample of its infinite variety: 'Fucking A! That motherfucker totally fucked me, it was un-fucking-believable! S o I said, 'Go fuck yourself, you fuck.' That fucked him up. But you know what? I really don't give a fuck.' Where did this word come from? Could Quentin Tarantino have had a career without it? The first question we can approach. The term first appeared at the start of the 16th century, and its initial dictionary appearance is in John Florio's World of Wordes (1598): 'Fottere, to iape, to sard, to fucke, to swive, to occupy.' Some say the word derives from Germanic roots that have to do with thrusting, or with the Latin pungare, which means to strike. One appealing but inaccurate theory is that during the time of the plague — when it was necessary to increase the population — a royal injunction was issued telling the common folk to 'Fornicate Under C ommand of the King.' The fact is, no one really knows for sure where it started, not even the OED. Fortunately, in spite of increasing public usage, it hasn't entirely lost its pizazz — the New York Times still refuses to print it, and people still say, 'Oh, fudge!' or 'I 'm so effing mad!' The most famous story of an F-word euphemism concerns Norman Mailer. When The Naked and the Dead was published in 1948, he was forced to render it as fug. When Dorothy Parker met Mailer at a party, she said, 'S o you're the young man who can't spell fuck?' From an article in Salon by Amy Wallace Using what you have learned in this chapter and in the preceding exercises and what you can guess from the context, find words or phrases in the above passage corresponding to these descriptions: 1. A euphemism commonly used when referring to the word 'fuck'. 2. Two expressions which mean approximately: go to hell, be accursed, etc. 3. An expression of surprise or incredulity. 4. An exclamation of pleasure, joy, triumph, etc. meaning: absolutely, definitely. 5. Two terms of abuse used of a man. 6. A figurative use of the word 'fuck', meaning to cheat, swindle, maltreat or take advantage of. 7. A phrasal verb which means to injure or maltreat someone. 8. An expression which means not to care at all about something. 9. A euphemistic substitute for 'fuck' used as an interjection. 10. A euphemistic substitute for 'fucking' used as an adjective or adverb. www.FreeLibros.org K E Y T O E X E R C I S E S www.FreeLibros.org E X E R C I S E 1.1 l. (b) All the words are syno- nyms for cunt (vagina) except putz, which is a synonym for cock (penis). 2.(e) All the words are synonyms for cock except beaver, which is a synonym for cunt. 3.(c) All the words are synonyms for balls (testicles) except pu- bes, which is now a vulgar term for pubic hair. 4.(a) All the words are synonyms for tits (female breasts) except privates, which is a common term for genitals. 5.(d) All the words are syno- nyms for ass or arse (but- tocks) except bush, which is a synonym for pubes. E X E R C I S E 1.2 1. the female breasts 2. the pe- nis 3. the vagina 4. the tes- ticles 5. the buttocks E X E R C I S E 1.3 1.1 began to rub my cock against her belly. S he pushed me away. 2. I began to play with her cunt. Her clit emerged and I caressed it gently. 3. My husband didn't have any personality, only an enor- mous cock. 4. Don't just sit on your arse, do something. 5.1 had an itchy arsehole but there were too many people and I couldn' t scratch it. 6. Tits and ass. The only thing that matters to you is tits and ass. 7. We got under the sheets and I began to play with her private parts. 8. With one movement of its jaws, the dog could rip my balls off. 9. My scrotum was itchy. The itch was getting unbearable. I kept on going, scratching my balls. 10. S ometimes they put harmf ul chemical sub- stances up their asses. 11. The girls didn't have any tits and their asses were tiny. 12. Her pubes were long and twisted and tangled. 13. She sat on my lap and kissed me. My cock stiffened against her firm backside. 14. He needs a kick up the arse before he'll do anything. 15. I rubbed a finger along her cunt, which quickly got wet and began to open. I put my finger inside. 16. My foot slipped and I fell on my arse. 17. S he was afraid of diseases of the skin, the scalp and the asshole. 18. He was still sucking C lare's tits. Her nipples were erect. 19. She had her hand on Tom's balls, then she moved it up and grabbed his cock. 20. I t was a question of courage. I won- dered if I had the balls. E X E R C I S E 1.4 1. Fucking: an adverb meaning extremely in ' f ucki ng in- sane'; an adjective added for negative emphasis in 'Madi- son fucking Avenue' and 'a fucking weave' (wig). 2. Tits, niddlers, boobs. Niddlers are speci f i cal l y very small breasts. 3. Ass. The British equivalent is arse. 4. To fuck ar ound (wi th someone or something). 5. Pubes, bush. 6. Bullshit. 7. Fucker. E X E R C I S E 2.1 l.(c) All the words are terms re- lated to shit (excrement) ex- cept bogey which is a syno- nym for snot (nasal mucus). 2.(a) All the words are verbs meaning to puke (to vomit) ex- cept bumf which is a common slang term for toilet paper. 3.(b) All the words are syno- 1, nyms for come (semen) except fart which is an emission of in- testinal gas from the arsehole (anus), especially an audible one. 4.(f) All the words are synonyms for the verb to piss (to urinate) except spew, which is a synonym for puke (vomit). 5.(c) All the words are syno- nyms for shithouse (toilet) ex- cept roaster, which is a cat- egory of fart. E X E R C I S E 2,2 menstruation 2. semen 3. excrement 4. vomit 5. flatu- lence 6. the toilet 7. urine 8. to defecate 9. pregnant 10. to urinate E X E R C I S E 2.3 1. I undressed, sprawled out in the middle of the bed and farted. 2. I t was the worst blowjob I had ever had. S he took out her handkerchief and gobbed into it as if she were hawking something up. 3. I stretched out next to her. We kissed. Her mouth smelled of puke. 4. The nearest bar was at least fifty years old. You could smell the stench of piss and shit and puke built up over half a century rising up through the floor from the toilets in the basement. 5. I 'm going to come, C hrist, I 'm going to come! 6. He opened the shithouse door and went in. The place stank. He got out his cock and began to piss. 7. S he told him she was on the rag but that didn't cool his passion in the least. 8. The dog began to piss. The dog was full of piss. I t ran in long, yellow ri vulets across the kitchen floor. 9. 'Listen,' she told me, ' when you' ve put that thing inside me, take it 118 E l I ngles Prohibido E DI TOR I AL S TANLE Y www.FreeLibros.org out just before you come, ok ?' 10. After that dinner, I had the shits for a month. 11. You had to put up with the farts of those fat-assed nurses. 12. At last I came. Then I rested on top of her. Both of us were soaked with sweat. 13. He felt sick and went to the bogs (crapper / shithouse / etc.). When he threw up, some of the puke got on his shoes and his socks. 14. I'm going to tell her the truth. I'm going to put an end to this shit! 15. Don' t forget to buy some bumf (or asswi pe). We' re nearly out. 16. I ran to the bathroom and puked. I tried to brush my teeth but the only thing I managed to do was to puke again. 17. The door was near the bathroom. There was always somebody coming and going to have a piss (take a leak / etc.). 18. From one of his nos- trils a nearly invisible thread of snot was running and gath- ering, finally, into a little gleaming ball. 19.1 got up and went to the crapper. I had the shits / the trots / the runs / etc. Then I got up and wiped my ass and looked at what I'd done: what a mess! 20. I had to go for a piss. The shithouse was at the end of the corridor. E X E R C IS E 2.4 1. John, restroom, shithouse 2. dong, dick, cock 3. balls 4. to take a leak 5. fruit 6. to blow somebody E X E R C IS E 3.1 l.(d) All the words are syno- nyms for a hard-on (an erec- tion) except stud, which re- fers to a male of great sexual prowess, or reput edl y so. 2.(e) All the words are syno- nyms for horny (sexual l y aroused) except dolly which is a term referring to a sexu- ally attractive girl or young woman. 3.(f) All the words are more or less derogatory terms for women considered purely as sexual objects, ex- cept stunner whi ch is an admirative term for an excep- tionally attractive woman. 4.(a) All the words usually re- fer to men consi dered as sexual object s, except for crumpet whi ch denot es a sexually desirable woman. 5.(b) All the words refer to states of sexual desire and arousal except jailbait, which refers specifically to a girl who is under the legal age of consent. E X E R C IS E 3.2 1. an easy woman 2. an erec- tion 3. sexually aroused 4. a lecher E X E R C IS E 3.3 1. R on Jeremy isn't exactly the typical st ud. 2. Oft en I' ve thought how nice it would be if a guy came into my home, fucked me and just left, with- out chatting me up or saying anyt hing. 3. I took off my trousers and began to kiss her. I soon got a hard-on. 4. He's got the hots for my girlfriend, it's disgusting. 5. Look how nice the science-fiction babes are in their tight jumpsuits. 6. We went out a few times. We never had sex, but we fooled around. 7. She crossed her legs and her dress moved up even higher. Damned cockteaser! 8. Don't talk like that, you're making me horny / randy. 9. S he was beautiful! S he was young! S he was in- nocent ! S he was t he best piece of ass I've ever had! 10. I haven't had a hard-on for ages. 11. S ome fucker tried to chat me up! He was really crude! I really hate those guys! They're repulsive. 12. There are dirty movies like Deep Throat, which are like wet dreams. 13. It was excit- ing. I felt as if I was being raped. I started to get a hard- on. 14. Who in his right mind would have thought that she had the hots for hi m? 15. Sexual relations means sexual intercourse. We were only fooling around. 16. — C lara's cheating on me. — What do you mean? — That my wife's screwing around. 17. It was suddenly as if my life were taking place in the middle of a wet dream. 18. I could see those long legs, the knees, the delicate ankles. I began to get horny. 19. 'He said I was a great piece of ass,' Laura an- nounced nostalgically. 20. I listened to her breathe deeply, then whimper. It excited me and I got a hard-on. E X E R C IS E 3.4 1. Fucking: 'a fucking house- wife' , 'a fucking leper', 'a fucki ng hypocri t e' . 2. To fuck. The verb can be used in- transitively (' if I woul dn' t fuck' ), transitively (to fuck someone), and in passi ve constructions ('to get fucked by the first man I could'). 3. To chat someone up: 'I chat- ted him up and then took him back to the house. 4. To snog: 'we sat on the couch and started snogging'. The term is Bri t i sh. The Ameri can equivalent is to neck. 5. On the game. 6. To bang some- E DITOR IAL S TANLE Y E l Ingles Prohibido 119 www.FreeLibros.org one: 'if he banged me on the spot'. 7. To bugger off: 'I told him to bugger off. 8. To lick someone out. 9. To wank oneself off. Usually this verb is not used phrasally and is simply to wank. 10. Bas- tard. 11. Dick. 12. Come: 'there was come all over the couch'. E X E R CIS E 4.1 l.(d) All the terms relate to acts of oral sex except wank, which means to masturbate. 2.(e) All the words are syno- nyms for the verb fuck, used transitively (to engage in the sex act with someone) except snog, which means simply to kiss and caress. 3.(c) All the words are synonyms for a rubber (a condom) except cherry which is a synonym for virginity. 4.(b) All the words relate to different de- grees of amorous engagement short of actual intercourse ex- cept shag which is a synonym for fuck. 5.(f) All the terms mean to jerk off (to mastur- bate) except get one's rocks off, which means to fuck. E X E R CIS E 4.2 1. a condom 2. sexual inter- course 3. caressing, foreplay 4. to perform fellatio 5. to have sex, copulate 6. to have anal intercourse 7. female masturbation 8. group sex 9. (performing) cunnilingus 10. male masturbation E X E R CIS E 4.3 1. Here's a lovely girl, only she doesn't want to. go down on me / blow me / give me a blowjob / suck me off / etc. 2.1 jerked off / wanked / beat my meat / etc. regularly, but the idea of having a relation- ship with a woman was be- yond my imagination. 3. If one of my friends found out that my wife was having a bit of nooky with (was fucking / screwing /etc.) someone else, I wouldn't want him to tell me. 4. It wasn't an accident, it was because you were fucking his wife. That's why he shot you. 5. Her voice was soft and sad. I'd like to fuck you, I thought. 6. I had my own ideas about sex. I was constantly horny and jerked off continuously. 7. He had been buggered by a sailor and had to be operated. 8. This bastard has been banging / fucking / screwing / etc. her since he got out of jail! 9. S he felt upset and humiliated, al- legedly because the president had groped her. 10. All that night I would screw you re- lentlessly, until I split you down the middle... I'd make you come more than you' d ever dreamed of in all your life. 11. Did I ever tell you about the Asian girl we used to gangbang in Vietnam? 12. Victor goes into a chemist's and buys a packet of frenchies (rubbers, etc.) 13. When was the last time you had a fuck? 14.1 went to bed, had a wank / jerked off / etc. and fell asleep. 15. I don't want to see her body, or ca- ress it, or go down on it. 16. The men are pressing against you. Their hands are all over your body, squeezing against you and groping you. 17. When a chick goes down on me, I tell her where to go and how it feels. 18. What hurt me most was when you told me I hadn't 'the least fucking idea of how to screw'. 19. I used to be completely frigid. Now all I do is think about fucking / screwing / getting laid / etc. 20. — I've never been called that in my life. — Well, you' ve j ust lost your cherry. E X E R CIS E 4.4 1. son of a bitch 2. ass 3. swinger 4. to eat someone's pussy 5. a wet dream 6. to go down on somebody 7. joint 8. to suck somebody off E X E R CIS E 5.1 l.(f) All the words relate to the world of 'straight' prostitu- tion except tearoom, which, in American E nglish, refers specifically to a public lava- tory or urinal frequented by male homosexuals. 2.(c) All the words refer to dykes (fe- male homosexuals) except gender-bender, a synonym for a bisexual person or per- son who deliberately affects an androgynous appearance. 3.(c) All these terms relate to bi-sexuality except flash, which refers specifically to the practice of exposing one's genitals for sexual gratifica- tion. 4.(e) All the words are synonyms for a homo (a male homosexual) except fag-hag which describes a woman, not necessarily homosexual, who habitually consorts with male homosexuals. 5.(a) All the words are synonyms for pros- titute except bulldyke, which denotes a l esbi an wi t h strong mascul ine tenden- cies. 6.(b) All the words relate in different ways to sexual perversion except swish, which is a term for a 120 E l Ingles Prohibido E DITOR IAL S TANLE Y www.FreeLibros.org male homosexual of mark- edly feminine tendencies. E X E R C I S E 5.2 1. a brothel 2. a female homo- sexual 3. a pimp 4. a prosti- tute 5. a male homosexual E X E R C I S E 5.3 1. You want to use me for every weird, kinky thing you can t hi nk of. 2. Other women worked for a pimp and solic- ited on a dai l y basis. 3. Women fainted when they saw him on the screen, but in reality Hudson was a fruit / homo / etc. 4. I 'm going to put the hookers on Times S quare to shame with all the guys I go down on now. 5. Patricia was a nympho, she could never get enough. 6. You have to be really careful with dykes, if not they'll beat you up. 7. The city has be- come famous for its whore- houses / cat houses / etc. 8. The guy was ambisextrous... I mean that he fucked men as well as women and that men and women fucked him. 9. Analysis has turned me into a nympho, with sex on the brain. 10. He was feeling so horny he decided to take the rest of the day off and maybe find a thirty-dollar whore / hooker / pro / etc. 11. Danny had come out of the closet and had declared that he was queer / bent / homo / etc. 12. Most good pimps try not to mash up the face. They hit on the cheek, next to the jaw, avoiding the eyes and the mouth. 13. The hooker was havi ng a look at her trick book. 14. Why do you refer to yourself as a dyke? 15. What' s the first thing they do? Kill the priests, rape the nuns, and turn the churches into whorehouses / cat houses / knocking shops / etc. 16. S ally had a little cottage and there we had a good time, fucking and eating. S he fed me well and drai ned my strength at the same time. S he could never get enough. S ally was a nympho. 17. Jack does it with t r anni es. S ome of them look better than a lot of women do. 18. He says he wants to do something really kinky. 19. I s he a homo then? I don't know that I 've ever met any homos before. 20. They say that the dyke stuff in the letters section in Pent- house is written by guys. E X E R C I S E 5.4 1. a spook 2. a whore 3. a bug- ger 4. a fairy, a queen 5. come 7. f ul l of shi t 8. f ucki ng (' t hose f ucki ng creeps') 9. a pimp 10. to screw E X E R C I S E 6.1 l.(c) All the words are insulting terms for women except bummer, which denotes any bad experience, occasion, situation or place. 2.(d) All are insulting terms applied to men but none has any particu- lar meaning in this context beyond its value as an insult except brown-nose, which re- fers specifically to a syco- phantic employee seeking to curry favour with his superi- ors. 3.(f) All the words can be applied to the unpleasantly non-human: objects, experi- ences, concepts, problems, etc. All, that is, with the ex- ception of slut, which can only be applied to a woman, meaning that she is of loose morals or disreputable con- duct. 4.(c) All the words are insulting terms for men ex- cept shithole, which refers to an unpleasant or insalubrious place. 5.(e) All the words can be insulting terms for men except bitch which (except in a homosexual context) can only be used of a woman. 6. (b) All the words refer to venereal disease with the ex- ception of pisshole, which refers to an unpleasant, back- ward or insalubrious place. 7.(a) All the words refer to loathsome substances except slag, an insulting term used of either a man or a woman. E X E R C I S E 6.2 1. crab lice 2. disgusting filth 3. syphilis 4. gonorrhoea E X E R C I S E 6.3 1. What...? You admit that you did it on purpose, you fucking bastard? 2. This oven's a bas- tard / bitch / motherfucker / etc. to clean. 3. I 'm sorry, you've got the clap. 4. There isn't one loyal bone in that bitch's body. 5. I t was good for a short while. Then it be- gan to accumulate blackened crud. 6. You're on my shit list, you bastard / motherfucker / cocksucker / etc! I 'm going to bust your ass! 7. Who would want to go there? I t's the arsehole of the earth. 8. My idea was to wander about doing nothing, always dodg- ing the boss and avoiding the arselickers who could rat to the boss. 9. I want you to re- member that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. 10. What happens if she's infected? I t's possible E DI TOR I AL S TANLE Y E l I ngles Prohibido 121 www.FreeLibros.org that she's all crudded up. 11. This paint' s a real bugger / bastard / bitch / motherfucker / etc. to get off. 12. High school is the pits. Being an teenager sucks. 13. The last bitch he married never even saw to it that he had clean un- derwear. 14. They specialized in male requirements and ail- ments: rubbers and clap. 15. You don' t deserve me, you bitch! Well, it's over! Get out! 16. He's only an arselicker. It makes me puke just to think of him! 17. Prostitution, pornog- raphy, drugs — the city looks pretty cruddy. 18. Damn! You couldn' t go back wi t hout a signed receipt! The bastards always asked for signatures for everything. 19. I hate my life. My li fe sucks / is the pits. I'm completely fucked. 20. A bottle of whisky - just what' s needed for a bloody rainy cold afternoon in this arsehole of the earth. E X E R C IS E 6.4 1. gook, gunk, goo, dreck, glop, gunge 2. gunge (' gunged at every stage') 3. yucky 4. to cream oneself off 5. dildo 6. beaver 7. schlong 8. to fuck E X E R C IS E 7.1 l.(c) All the terms are phrasal verbs meani ng t o behave f ool i shl y, especi al l y in a time-wasting or distracting way, except shit about, which means nothing. 2.(e) All the words are adjectives meaning insignificant, of poor quality, tedious, unpl easant , mali- cious, or unwell, depending on the context; all, that is, ex- cept horseshit, a noun mean- i ng nonsense, pr et ent i ous talk, baloney. 3.(a) All the words can mean nonsense, pretentious or deceitful talk, except chickenshit, an adjec- tive which means cowardly, petty, insignificant. 4.(f) All the terms are phrasal verbs meaning to make a mess of something (to mess up, foul up, spoil or ruin) with the ex- ception of piss-up, which is a noun denoting, in British E nglish, a serious drinking session (see C hapter 10). E X E R C IS E 7.2 l.(a) 2.(e) 3.(d) 4.(e) 5.(b) E X E R C IS E 7.3 1. He tried to bullshit me with some excuse. 2. From time to time something snafus and there is one hell of a mess. 3. Look, stop fucking about. If you're going to do it, just do it, ok ? 4. My children won' t grow up in a shitty council house. 5. He fucked-up the ar- rangements, (or He made a complete balls-up / cock up / etc. of the arrangements.) 6. He works in a shitty video club. 7. Yesterday's events ap- peared to be a large-scale pub- lic relations snafu. 8. — S he says he's rich. — Bullshit! 9. The numbers are all screwed / fucked / cocked / bollixed / etc. up. 10. He tried to bul l shi t me with some ex- cuse. 11. He has some kind of half-assed objection to pu- bescent antics that took place almost ten years ago. 12. Please, let's not bullshit our- selves about this business. 13. Try not to f uck / cock / ballocks / etc. it up this time. 14. Don't bullshit me! 15. I didn't say I wasn't going to do it. I only said how shitty the situation is! 16. They say that the world is coming to an end. They say that's why it's so fucked up. 17. It was a l ousy / cr ummy / shi t t y / crappy / etc. film. 18. His decision fucked up / buggered up / cocked up / etc. our holi- days. 19. You want to go back to your shitty little existence? Go ahead. There's the door. Nobody's stopping you. 20. It wasn' t the result of some fan- tastic thought process. They were just fucking about, ba- sically. E X E R C IS E 7.4 1. to get someone off 2. a dago 3. fun pimple 4. a cocksman 5. to fuck 6. dick 7. fucking ('stupid fucking Polack') 8. a Polack E X E R C IS E 8.1 l.(d) All the words are syno- nyms for f ucki ng, used as an expl et i ve, except half- assed, which means ineffec- tual, incompetent or stupid (S ee C hapter 7). 2.(b) All the phrases are expressions of emphatic annoyance, in- di gnat i on, r ej ect i on, sur- prise, etc, with the excep- tion of shit it, which means n o t h i n g . 3.(e) Al l t he phrases can be used as ex- clamations, expressing ex- asperation, anger, surprise, despair, etc., wi t h the ex- ception of the fuck, which is also used as an intensifier but not as an exclamation. 4. (c) All are expl et i ve phrases which can be added par ent het i cal l y to a sen- t ence, except for cunting well, which means nothing. E X E R C IS E 8.2 . (c) 2.(a) 3.(d) 4.(b) 122 E l Ingles Prohibido E DITOR IAL S TANLE Y www.FreeLibros.org E X E R C I S E 8.3 1. What the f uck has it got to do with you, you idiot. Fuck off out of here! 2. That's one hell of a chop you' re eating! 3. Fuck the nei ghbou rs! Who gives a fuck what they think? They never worried us before. 4.1 didn't understand a bloody / f ucking / etc. word. 5. He put his hand over her mouth. 'For f u c k ' s sake, there are people out there!' 6. What the f uck were you doing the other day spying on my wif e? 7. Jesus C hrist, why don' t you ju st shut the f uc k up! You're giving me a f u c k i ng head- ache. 8. Luisa is a bloody / f u c k i ng / goddamned / etc. f antastic player! 9. I t's a hell of a shirt. I bet it cost you a bomb. 10. What the f uck do I care what Lou Reed says! 11. I know that this sounds as pretentious as hell, but I think of us as artists. 12. Turn off that bloody / damned / goddamned /f u c k i ng/et c . television! 13. Get you r f u c k i ng (goddam / bloody / etc.) foot out of the door and leave me the f u c k alone (and f ucking leave me alone / etc.)! 14. This ef f ing dog is an ef f ing nuisance (a pain in the arse / a pain in the balls / etc.). 15. How do I know what he said? I know what he said because I was f uc king well there. 16. Lis- ten, I know I ' m boring the hell / the shit / the f uck out of you, but I 've got to talk to somebody. 17. I don' t know how the f u c k / the hell / in hell / etc. he passed. 18. Our war had consisted of watch- ing the Argentine Air Force bomb the shi t ou t of ou r Navy. 19. He comes in here like I 'm his f ucking doorman. 20. You're not going to do a f u c k i ng t hi ng. S hu t you r f ucking mouth / shut the f uck up / etc. E X E R C I S E 8.4 1. motherfucking, fucking ('pay the fucking rent', 'the fucking heat' , 'that f ucking money' , etc.) 2. prick 3. to f uck with someone 4. to make a f uck out of someone 5. the f uck ('get the f uck out of here') 6. to fuck up E X E R C I S E 9.1 l.(a) All the words are insulting terms for Jew, except kraut, which is a derogatory term for a German. 2.(d) All the terms can be derogatorily ap- plied to people of Latin Ameri- can origin, except frog, a per- son from France. 3.(f) All the words are insulting terms for people of Oriental origin ex- cept wop, which is a deroga- tory word for an I talian. 4.(b) All the words are derogatory terms used by blacks to de- scribe whit e people, except for paddy which is refers to a person from I reland. 5.(c) All the words are synonyms for kraut (a Ger man) exc ept raghead, which is a deroga- tory term for an Arab. 6.(d) All the words are insu l t ing terms for blacks with the ex- ception of dink, a Vietnamese. E X E R C I S E 9.2 1. a S paniard, a person of S pan- ish descent, or a Latin Ameri- can 2. the I rish 3. the French 4. the Jews 5. Black people 6. the Arabs 7. the Germans 8. I talians EXERCI S E 9.3 1. You're a dirty Polack, and all Polacks are thieves! 2. France is a l ovel y c ou nt r y, wi t h lovely women, great food and great wine, but unf ortunately it's f ull of frogs. 3. He wants to know if you can get him a deal on one of those wop (dago / E yetie) sports cars. 4. The typical Whitey has eve- rything, the nigger doesn' t have shit. 5. The Micks put up signs on the piers which said no wops. 6. He' d have loved to have gone to Africa and been hired as a merce- nary. 'I magine getting paid to kill niggers,' he thought. 7. I 'm t ryi ng to cheer her up, you stupid Kraut! 8. S tupid fucking Polack, he wipes his cock on the drapes. 9. Why do Yanks say 'blow' when they mean ' su c k ' ? 10. You and I know what a kike (sheeny / heebie / Yid / etc.) is — One Who Kil l ed Our Lord. 11. Apparently some sort of deal has been done with the f ilthy wop and t hey' ve recovered some of the money. 12. I f t here was one t hi ng he wanted, it was that there was a word as dirty as 'nigger' to apply to all mankind. E X E R C I S E 9.4 1. pu k es 2. f u c k i ng ( ' hu man f u c k i ng beings' , ' the f airy f u c k i ng godmot her ' , ' ou t - f ucking-standing' , 'until you f u c k i ng di e' , ' a f u c k i ng worm') 3. grabasstic 4. shit 5. nigger 6. kike 7. wop 8. gr easer 9. bu l l shi t 10. sc umbag, c oc ksuc ker, f u c k (' you sc roungy little f u c k ' ) 11. asshol e 12. the f u c k ('Who the f uck said that?' ) E DI TOR I AL S TANLE Y E l I ngles Prohibido 123 www.FreeLibros.org E X E R C I S E 10.1 2.(a) 3.(c) 4.(e) E X E R C I S E 10.2 1. I couldn' t understand why I di dn' t tell her to go and f uck herself (get f uck ed / take a f lying f uck / etc.) once and for all. 2. He knows f uck all / bugger all / damn all / sod all / etc. (about it). 3. Go and f uck yourself / f uck off / go and get f ucked / etc. 4. - What are you f ucking around with now, man? — I 'm not f uck ing around! 5. Fuck this / f uck this shit! I 'm going home. 6. Okay, do it your way. What the f uck ! 7. S he did f uck all / damn all / bugger all / etc. 8. To hell with it / f uck it all / etc., I 'm leaving this job. 9. What the f uck ' s wrong with you? Where the f uck are you going? 10. — I sn' t this dan- gerous? — Fucked (damned / buggered / etc.) if I know. 11. I ' m t ot a l l y f uck ed / f ucked out / k nack ered. 12. Fuck me! How did you man- age to do it? 13. Fuck the exam! You' re comi ng wi t h me. 14. Now we' ve real l y f ucked (screwed / buggered / cocked / etc.) things up! 15. I don't give a f uck / a damn / a shit / a bugger / etc. what you say. 16. Me apologize to him? Like hell I will! (Like f uck I will! / Will I f uck ! / Will I hell! / etc.) 17. Then he said to me: ' Just give me a little k i ss' . 'Go and f uck yourself !' I told him. 18. Do the scene agai n? What the f uck ! 19. Most probably you were fucking around as usual. 20. — Do you still like my legs? — Fuck, yes. E X E R C I S E 10.3 1. I t' s about time he pulled his f i nger out . 2. What pi sses me of f is havi ng to do her work . 3. Frank ly, he' s a bor- ing old f art. 4. S top bust i ng my balls, I ' ve already told you I haven' t got it. 5. — They got married in Japan. — No shit! 6. What a pain in the ass you are! 7. Don' t pay any at t ent i on t o hi m, he' s f ul l of shit. 8. He' s f ul l of pi ss and vi negar. Qui t e f rank l y, I hat e hi m. 9. The noise f r i ght ened the lif e out of her. S he was shit scared / scared shi t l ess. 10. S top gr umbl i ng! The situation is bad enough as it is wi t hout your b i t c hi ng. 11. He be- comes really nervous when t hi ngs go wr ong, when the shit hi t s the f an. 12. I 'm f ed up wi t h being pissed about. 13. I don' t want it. He can shove it / stick it up his ar se! 14. S t op t a k i ng t he pi s s out of me! 15. S he d o e s n ' t gi ve a s hi t wh a t a nyb ody t hi nk s . 16. I f t here' s anyt hi ng worse t han a pain in the arse, it' s a fe- male pain in the arse. 17. His wif e gave him hell for arriv- ing late. 18. Now we're really in the shit / up shi t creek (without a paddl e). 19. I 'm getting really pissed off with him. 20. The accountant left with all the money and lef t them up shit creek. E X E R C I S E 10.4 1. the f -word 2. f uck you, go f uck yourself 3. f uck me 4. f uck ing A 5. motherf ucker, f uck (' you f uck ' ) 6. to f uck someone (' the motherf ucker totally f ucked me' ) 7. to f uck someone up 8. to not give a f uck 9. f udge 10. ef f ing www.FreeLibros.org I N D E X O F TE RMS www.FreeLibros.org This page intentionally left blank www.FreeLibros.org I N D E X O F T E R M S References in this index are to the chapters and sections in which items are listed and exemplified. A Aussie 9o Aztec revenge 2d AC-DC 5d all to shit l0b am I fuck l0a ambisextrous 5d and shit 10b arse la; arse about 7b; arse-bandit 5a; arse-licker 6b; a pain in the arse l0c; half-arsed 7d; in a pig's arse l0c; my arse l0c; not know one's arse from one's elbow l0c; arse about 7b arse-bandit 5 a arsehole, asshole 1b; 6a; arsehole of the earth 6g arse-licker 6b as fuck 8e as hell 8e as piss 8e ass la; a horse's ass l0c; a piece of ass 3h; assways l0c; ass-wipe 2f; bust one's ass l0c; get one's ass in gear l0c; half-assed 7d; haul ass 10 c; have one's head up one's ass l0c; kick ass lO c; kiss my ass lO c; kiss some- body's ass 6b; laugh one's ass off lO c; raggedy-ass 7e; somebody's ass lO c; someone's ass is on the line lO c; tight- assed lO c; tits and ass 101 assways lOc ass-wipe 2f B babe 3g backside la bag 6c ball 4b ballocks, bollocks (testicles) I d; (non- sense) 7f; (repri- mand) lO d balls (testicles) I d; (nonsense) 7f; a lot of balls lO d; balls up 7a; bust one's balls lO d; bust (break) somebody's balls lOd balls up 7a bang 4b banjax 7a barf 2g bastard (term of abuse) 6a; (unpleas- ant thing or experi- ence) 6d bazooms li be all over 3c be in deep shit lOb be on someone's shit list lOb be pissed lOh be the pits 6i be up shit creek (without a paddle) lO b beam la beat one's meat 4g behind la bent 5a bi 5d bi-guy 5d bike 3n bimbo 3h bit of all right, a 3g bitch (term of abuse) 6c; (difficult situa- tion) 6d; (complain) bitch about some- thing l0f; (expres- sion of surprise) I'll be a son of a bitch l0f bitch about some- thing l0f blazes, the 8f bleeder 6a bleeding 8b; bleeding well 8e; bleeding hell 8e blood 9n bloody 8b; bloody well 8e; bloody hell 8e blow 4e; blowjob 4e blow beets 2g blowjob 4e blue veiner 3f Boche 9f bog, bogs 2e; bog-roll 2f; bog-trotter 9c bogey 2i bog-roll 2f bog-trotter 9c boke 2g bollix, bollox 7a bone, boner 3f bonk 4b boobs li booger 2i boogie 9n boozer 2g Boss Charley 9a breezer 2c bristols li Brit 9b brother 9n brown-nose 6b B rummy, Brummie 9b bugger (to sodomize) 4i; (unpleasant expe- rience) 6d; (empha- sis) 8a; bugger up 7a; bugger about 7b; play silly bug- gers 7b; bugger somebody about l0g; bugger off l0g; bugger all l0g bugger about 7b bugger all l0g bugger off l0g bugger somebody about l0g bugger up 7a bulldyke 5b bullshit 7f bum boy 5 a bum-bandit 5a bumf 2f bummer 6c buns la bush I g bust (break) some- body's balls l0Od bust one's ass lO c bust one's balls l0d butch 5b butt la butt-fuck 4i c camel jockey 9j camelfucker 9j can la; 2e canoodle 4a cat house 5i chat up 3c cheeks la cherry 4h chickenshit 6a; 7e E D I T O R I AL S T AN LE Y E l I ngles Prohibido 127 www.FreeLibros.org chink, chinkey 9m chippy 3h chopper Ic chuck up 2g chunder 2g clap 6e clit If cobblers Id; 7f cock Ic; cocksucker 3b; cockteaser 3i; cock-knocker 6a; cock up 7 a; suck somebody's cock 4e cock up 7a cock-knocker 6a cocksucker 3b; 6a cockteaser 3i cold as a witch's tit 10i come, cum 2j coon 9n cooze 6c cottage 5c cow 6c crabs 6e cracker 9a crap (body waste) 2b; (poor quality) 7e; (nonsense) 7f crapper 2e crappy 7e crock of shit, a l0b crud 6f crummy 7e crumpet 3h cunt (vagina) le; (term of abuse) 6a and 6c; cunt-struck 3b curse, the 2k cut the shit l0b D dago 91 daisy chain 4d damn well 8c damn, damned (ex- pletive) 8a; (empha- sis) 8b; damn well 8c darkie, darky 9n dick Ic dickhead 6a diddle 4b diesel 5b dingleberry 2b dink 9m dip one's wick 4b dipshit 6a dipstick Ic dolly, dollybird 3g dong Ic doodley-squat 2b dork Ic; 6a dose, a 6e douche bag 6a drag queen 5e dreck 6f dryhump, dryfuck 4a dump 2b; 6h dung 7f; horsedung 7f dunny 2e Durex 4f dyke, dike 5 a E eat 4e; eat pussy 4e; eat somebody out 4e eat pussy 4e eat somebody out 4e effing 8b eye (the), the glad eye 3 a eye, glad eye 3 a Eyetie 9h F fag 5 a faggot 5 a fag-hag 5b fairy 5a fanny (US buttocks) la; (GB female geni- tals) le fart (body function) 2c; 10k; fart about 7b; an old fart 10k; not give a fiddler's fart 10k fart about 7b feel up 4a femme 5b fig-eater 9j finger 10j; stand around with one's finger up one ass l0j; get one's finger out l0j; give some- body the finger l0j fingerfuck, fingerbang 4a fink 6a fist, fist-fuck 4i fladge, flage 5f flag 5 a flash 5f floozie, floozy 3h fool around 3d footsie 4a for Christ's sake, for Chrissakes 8e for fuck's sake 8e for God's sake 8e for the hell of it l0e for the love of Christ 8e for the love of God 8e fox 3g french 4e; french let- ter; frenchie 4f french letter, frenchy 4f frig 4b frigging 8b Fritz 9f frog 9e fruit 5 a fuck (sexual activity) 4b; (unpleasant thing or person) 6a; (em- phasis) 8a; am I fuck? lOa; as fuck 8d; for fuck's sake 8e; fuck about, around 7b; fuck all lOa; fuck around with somebody lOa; fuck around with something l0a; fuck a duck l0a; fuckface 6a; fuckhead 6a; fuck knows l0a; fuck up 7a; fuckwit 6a; fuck somebody in the ass l0a; fuck somebody out of something lOa; fuck somebody over lOa; fuck with somebody lOa; fucked if I know lOa; fuck off lOa; get to fuck lOa; go and fuck yourself lOa; give a fuck lOa; sure as fuck lOa; take a flying fuck lOa; thank fuck lOa; the fuck 8f; what the fuck lOa fucker 6a; 6d fuckface 6a fuckhead 6a fucking 8b; fucking well 8c; fucking hell 8e; fucking A lOa fucking hell 8e fucking well 8c fuckwit 6a fudge packer 5 a full of piss and vin- egar l0h full of shit l0b fun pimple le G gangbang 4d gender-bender 5d get a little on the side l0n get a rise 3f get it on l0n 128 El Ingles Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org get it up 10m get off with get off with some- thing lOn get on somebody's tits 10i get one's ass in gear lOc get one's end away 4b get one's finger out 10i get one's hole 4b get one's leg over 4b get one's oats 4b get one's rocks off 4b get pissed l0h get somebody off lOn get stuffed lOn get to fuck lOa get, git 6a gissum 2j give a fuck lOa give a shit l0b give head, give a headjob 4g give oneself a hand- job 4e give somebody the finger l0i give someone a ballocking l0d give someone hell l0e go and fuck yourself lOa go apeshit l0b go batshit l0b go down on someone 4e go for a piss 2e go for the big spit 2g gob 2h gobshite 6a god damn, goddamn, goddamned 8a; 8b goddam well 8c gook (disgusting sub- stance) 6f; (East Asian) 9m goolies Id goose 4b greaseball 9k; 91 greaser 91 gringo 9a grope 4a gross, gross out 6i grot 6f grotty 6g guinea 9k gunge 6f gunk 6f H half-arsed, half-assed 7d hanky-panky 4c hard-on 3f haul ass lOc have one's stand up one's ass lOc have somebody by the balls l0d head 2e Heinie 9f hell: a hell of a 8d; a snowball's chance in hell l0e; ...as hell 8e; for the hell of it l0e; give someone hell l0e; the hell 8f; the hell out of 8g; not give a hoot in hell l0e; play hell with something l0e; to hell with 8 a hellish 8b hole 6h holy Jesus 8e holy shit l0b homo 5a honky, honkey 9a hooker 5g horn 3f horny 3b horse's ass, a lOc horsedung 7f horseshit 7f hot 3b hot pants 3 a hots 3 a hots, the 3a how's your father 4c hummer 2c hump 4b Hun 9f hunk 3e hustler 5g I icky 6g in a pig's arse lOc it sucks 6i la kick ass lOc kike 9g kinky 5f kiss my ass lOc kiss somebody's ass 6b knackers Id knee-trembler 4c knock off 4b knockers li knocking-shop 5i kraut 9f L J J. Arthur 4g jack 6e jack off 4g jackshit l0b jag off 6a jailbait 3h Jap 9m jerk 6a jerk off 4g; 6a Jerry 9f Jessie 5a Jesus Christ 8e jigaboo 9n jism 2j jizz 2j jock 5b Jock 9b John 2e; 5h John Thomas Id johnny 4f Johnson Ic joint Ic jugs li jump 4b jungle bunny 9n K karzy 2e keister la Khyber, Khyber pass laugh one's ass off lOc lav, lavo 2e lay 3h; 4b leak 2a lech, letch 3 a Ies5b lesbo, lesbie 5b limey 9b loo 2e look like shit lOb lot of balls, a l0d lousy 7e M make a balls of some thing 7 a make a hen's arse of something 7a make a pass 3c make it 4b make out 4a make out 4b man eater 3h Man, the 9a marbles Id melons li Mick 9c monthly flowers 2k moo 6c mother 6a motherfucker 6a; 6d EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 129 www.FreeLibros.org motherfucking 8b muff Ig muff-dive 4e muff-diver 5b my arse lOc N nail 4b nancy-boy, nance 5a neck 4a nigger 9n Nip 9m nonce 5f nooky 4c not get one's balls in an uproar l0d not give a fiddler's fart 10k not give a hoot in hell l0e not know one's arse from one's elbow lOa numbnuts 6a nuts Id nympho 3h O ofay 9a old fart, an 10k on the game Sg one of those 5 a one-night stand 4c other, the 4c P paddy 9c pain in the arse, a l O c Paki 9n pansy 5 a parts 1h pecker Ic pee 2a perve (to ogle) 3a; (abbreviation) 5f peter Ic; pull one's peter 4g pick up 3c piddle 2a piddle about 7b piece of ass 3h pimp 5j pish 2a piss 2a; as piss 8d; a piece of piss l0h; full of piss and vin- egar l 0h; get pissed, be pissed l0h; go for a piss 2e; piss about 7b; piss against the wind l 0h; piss artist 6a; pisshole 6h; piss off l 0h; piss-poor 7e; piss somebody off l 0h; piss something away l 0h; pisswarm l0h; piss with rain l Oh; take a piss 2a; take the piss (out of somebody) l Oh piss artist 6a pissant 6a pissy 7e play footsie 4a play hell with some- thing l0e play sil l y buggers 7b pogue 5 a poke 4b pommie, pommy 9b ponce 5 a poof, pouf, poove 5 a poofter 5 a pooh, poo, poo-poo 2b poontang 4c poop, poopy 2b pox 6e poxy 8b prat 6a prick (anatomy) Ic; (term of abuse) 6a prickteaser 3h private parts Ih privates Ih pro 5g professional girl 5g prosty 5g pubes Ig puke 2g pull one's peter 4g pull one's putz 4g pull one's wire 4g pull shit 10 b pussy 3h; to pussy out on somebody 101; pussy whipped 101 pussy out on some- body 101 put the make on 3c putz (penis) Ic; (un- pleasant person) 6a; pull one's putz 4g Q queen 5a queer 5a R rag, the 2k raggedy-ass 7e raghead 9j ralph 2g ramrod 3f randy 3b randy-arsed 3b ream, rim 4i rear l a ride 4b rise 3f roaster 2c root 3h; 4b rubber 4f ruddy 8b rug-muncher 5b rumpy-pumpy 4c runs 2d runs, the 2d Russkie 91 s S.O.B., s.o.b. 6a scared shitless l0b scarfing 5f schlong, shlong Ic schmuck 6a score 4b scouse 9b screw (sexual activity) 3h; (emphasis) 8a; screw around 3d; screw up 7a scrote 6a scum 2j scumbag 6a scuzzy 6g shag 4b; 8a; shagbag 6a shagbag 6a shine 9n shit bag 6a shit out of, the 8g shit somebody l0b shit storm, a l0b shite, shite 6a; 7e; If; all to shit l 0b; ...and shit l0b; be in deep shit l 0b; be on someone's shit list l0b; be up shit creek without a paddle l 0b; a shit storm l0b; crock of shit l 0b; cut the shit l 0b; full of shit l0h; give a shit l 0b; go apeshit l 0b; go batshit l 0b; holy shit l O b; horseshit 7f; look l ike shit lOb; pull shit l O b; scared shitless l O b; shit; jackshit lOb; shit a brick l O b; shitbag 6a; shit-eat- ing 7e; shithead 6a; shithole 6h; shit- house, shite-house 130 El Ingl6s Prohibido EDITORIAL STANLEY www.FreeLibros.org 2e; shitload of lO b ; shit somebody lOb; shitty 7e; shoot the shit lO b ; take shit from somebody lO b ; talk shit lO b ; that shit lO b ; the shit out of 8g; this shit lO b ; the shits 2d; tough shit lOb; when the shit hits the fan lOb; shit-eating 7e shithead 6a shithole 6h shit-house, shite- house 2e shitload of, a lO b shits, the 2d shitty 7e shoot 2j shoot the shit lOb short-timer 5h shouse 2c shtup 4b sixty-nine, soixante- neuf 4e skank 6c skin 4f slap and tickle 4a slash 2a sleep around 3d slip it to somebody 4b slope 9m slopehead 9m slut 6c smoke 9n smooch 4a snafu 7c snatch-hair Ig snog 4a snot 2i snowb all's chance in hell, a l0e sod (homosexual) 5a; (unpleasant person) 6a; (emphasis) 8a; sod up 7b sodding 8b; sodding well 8c sodding well 8c somebody's ass lOc someone's ass is on the line lOc son of a bitch 6a spade 9n spew 2g spic, spick 91 spook 9n spunk 2j squarehead 9f squelcher 2c squits 2d squits, the 2d stand 3f stand around with one's finger up one ass l0j stones Id stud 3e stuff 4b stunner 3g suck somebody's cock 4e suck up to somebody 6b suck, suck off 4e; 6b; suck somebody's ass 6b; suck up to somebody 6b sure as fuck lOa swing 3d; swing both ways 5d swing both ways 5d swish 5 a syph, siph, siff 6e T Taff, Taffy 9b tail la take a flying fuck lOa take a leak 2a take a pee 2a take a piss 2a take shit from some- body lOb take the piss (out of somebody) lOh talk shit lOb tart 3h; 5g tear it off a bit 4b tearoom 5c thank fuck lOa that shit lOb that way 5 a thatch Ig this shit lOb throw up 2j tight-assed lOc tinkle 2a tit man, a 101 tits li; get on some- body's tits 101; tits and ass 10 i; tit man; a 10 i; cold as a witch's tit 101 to hell with 8a Tojo 9m tool Ic toss off 4g tosser 6a touch up 4a tough shit lOb toy boy 3e trade 5 a tramp 3h trannie 5e trick 5h trim 3h Trojan 4f tumble 4c turd (body waste) 2b; (unpleasant person) 6a turned on 3b TV5e twat (female genitals) 6a; (term of abuse) 6c u Uncle Tom 9n up yours 10m v T versatile 5d W wang Ic wank 4g wanker 6a wee-wee 2a wet dream 3e; 3j wetback 91 whack off 4g wham, bam, thank you ma'am 4c whang, whanger Ic what the fuck lOa when the shit hits the fan lOb whitey 9a whorehouse 5i whoresmelt, boor's melt 6a widdle 2a willy Ic wog 9n wop 9k working girl 5g v J. Yank, Yankee 9d yucky 6g EDITORIAL STANLEY El Ingles Prohibido 131 www.FreeLibros.org This page intentionally left blank www.FreeLibros.org FONDO EDITORIAL STANLEY ENGLISH 3000 TESTS ELEMENTARY LEVEL KEYS 3000 TESTS 2000 TESTS ADVANCED LEVEL KEYS 2000 TESTS 1500 STRUCTURED TESTS I 1500 STRUCTURED TESTS II 1500 STRUCTURED TESTS III KEYS STRUCTURED TESTS DIDACTIC CROSSWORDS I BILINGUAL BUSINESS LETTERS NEW GUIDE TO BUSINESS LETTERS ENGLISH GRAMMAR I (N/E) ENGLISH GRAMMAR II (N/E) ENGLISH GRAMMAR III (N/E) KEYS ENGLISH GRAMMAR 2000 BILINGUAL PHRASES I 2000 BILINGUAL PHRASES II 2000 BILINGUAL PHRASES III GUIDE OF PREPOSITIONS USING PREPOSITIONS - EXERCISES 159 TRANSLATIONS I 159 TRANSLATIONS II 159 TRANSLATIONS III 159 TRANSLATIONS IV FILL IN THE GAPS I FILL IN THE GAPS II FILL IN THE GAPS III KEYS FILL IN THE GAPS DICTATIONS IN ENGLISH I DICTATIONS IN ENGLISH II GUIDE TO PHRASAL VERBS USING PHRASAL VERBS ENGLISH VERBS ONE BY ONE MY ENGLISH TELLTALE CONVERSATION IN ACTION - Let's talk! THE IRREGULAR VERBS AND MODALS 1 000 EVERYDAY IDIOMS IN BUSINESS A TO ZED, A TO ZEE • A GUIDE TO THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN BRITISH AND AMERICAN ENGLISH FRANQAIS 1000 TESTS EN FRANCAIS I 1000 TESTS EN FRANQAIS II 1000 TESTS EN FRANCAIS III 1000 TESTS EN FRANQAIS IV 1000 TESTS EN FRANCAIS V 5000 CLES DICTES EN FRANCAIS I-A DICTES EN FRANQAIS I-B DICTES EN FRANQAIS I-C MOTS CROISES DIDACTIQUES L'lLE MYSTERIEUSE -Lecture 20.000 LIEUES SOUS LES MERS -Lecture LES TROIS MOUSQUETAIRES - Lecture LE COMPTE DE MONTE CRISTO -Lecture UN CAPITAINE DE QUINZE ANS -Lecture MICHEL STROGOFF -Lecture QUI SAIT? -Lecture LA FAMILLE LENOIR -Lecture TRADUIRE AUJOURD'HUI 1 TRADUIRE AUJOURD'HUI 2 MON BILAN GRAMMATICAL NOUVEAU GUIDE DE CORRESPONDANCE COMMERCIALE DEUTSCH 1000 TESTS I 1000 TESTS II 1000 TESTS III 1000 TESTS IV 1 000 TESTS V 5000SCHLUSSEL ITALIANO 1000 TESTS ITALIANO II + CLAVES LETTERS COMMERCIALI BILINGUI ESPANOL TESTS ESPANOL I TESTS ESPANOL II TESTS ESPANOL III TESTS ESPANOL IV TESTS ESPANOL V CLAVES TESTS ESPANOL DICTADOS EN ESPANOL I-A DICTADOS EN ESPANOL I-B DICTADOS EN ESPANOL I-C CRUCIGRAMAS DIDACTICOS I CRUCIGRAMAS DIDACTICOS II CRUCIGRAMAS DIDACTICOS III GRAMATICA ESPANOLA CLAVES GRAMATICA ESPANOLA GUIAS PARA VIAJAR GUiA DEL VIAJERO - INGLES CONVERSATION GUIDE -SPANISH GUJA DEL VIAJERO - ALEMAN SPRACHFURER KONVERSATION -SPANISCH GUJA DEL VIAJERO - FRANCES GUIDE CONVERSATION - ESPAGNOL GUJA DEL VIAJERO ITALIANO GUIDA Dl CONVERSAZIONE - ESPAGNOLO GUIA DEL VIAJERO - PORTUGUES EDITORIAL STANLEY • Apdo. 207 • 20300 IRUN • Tel. 943 64 04 12 • Fax. 943 64 38 63 • e-mail: [email protected] www.FreeLibros.org