Quotes

Transcript

If you have a secret sorrow, a burden or a loss, An aching need for healing. . . Hang It On The Cross. If worry steals your sleep and makes you turn and toss, If your heart is feeling heavy. . . Hang It On The Cross Every obstacle to faith or doubt you come across, Every prayer unanswered. . . Hang It On The Cross. For Christ has borne our brokenness and dearly paid the cost To turn our trials to triumph. . . Hanging On The Cross. -Lisa O. Engelhardt "If I believe in God and then die and he fails to exist what have I lost? But if I choose not to believe and when I die find out he does exist I will have a lot to answer to and possibly lose everything." It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not. -Andre Gide Some people can read War and Peace and come away thinking it's a simple adventur e story. Others can read the ingredients on a chewing gum wrapper and unlock the secrets of the universe." -Lex Luthor A determined soul will do more with a rusty monkey wrench than a loafer will acc omplish with all the tools in a machine shop. -Robert Hughes so tie me to a tree and let the smoke and ash collect no, i won't regret to let love do what love will let and you can drown in mixed emotions and walk across an angry sea this is the cost of being free Who Is God? A little kid asks his father, "Daddy, is God a man or a woman?" "Both son. God is both." After awhile the kid comes again and asks, "Daddy, is God black or white?" "Both son, both." "Daddy, does God love children?" "Yes son, he loves all children." The child returns a few minutes later and says, "Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?" A good friend will bail you out of jail ; A best friend will be sitting next to you saying "MAN THAT WAS F*CKIN AWSOME!!!!11!1!!!". Peter: Ray has gone bye-bye Egon, what do you have left? Egon: Sorry Venkman, I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought In the Should Saddam Hussein be killed thread: But in this case, I say go for him as a trophy. I say laminate his ass and put i t in the Smithsonian! In beauty theres truth, in truth theres beauty that why ugly people have to lie like fuck to get laid A friend is someone who knows your own personal song, and is there to sing it fo r you when you forget it - Wolverine "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." ~ Benjamin Franklin Don't assume it makes an ass outta u and me You don't go to funerals for the dead, you go to comfort the living No parent should have to bury their child - King Theodan Your home is where your heart is, and at one time our hearts beat as one here I used to get quite anxious when my life just didn't fit, the pattern I imagined when I planned it bit by bit. I used to search the world to find the missing "piece" in me; then God revealed His Love and Life by dying on a tree. Now when twists and turns -life's puzzlestest me without cease, I open up my heart and then I find... The Missing Peace The saddest thing every parent has discovered since the days of the cave is that some things cannot be taught. Every single generation has to rediscover them all on their own. And the parents have to stand back and let it happen. And it hurts. - Peter Dugdale It?s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full o f darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn?t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it wa s when so much bad had happened. But in the end, it?s only a passing thing, thi s shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with y ou. That meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I th ink, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of c hances of turning back only they didn?t. They kept going. Because they were hold ing on to something. Frodo: What are we holding on to, Sam? That there?s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it?s worth fighting for. They say the 2nd worst thing you could ever do was love somebody and not tell th em It says a lot about the world when the tallest basketball player is Chinese, the best rapper is white, the best golfer is black, and Germany doesn't want to go to war. I asked that everything would go right this day Lord, and I know better than to doubt you...I just wish that the right thing didn't hurt so much. - Anonymous War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded st ate of moral and patriotic feelings, which thinks that nothing is worth war, is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing , which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of bett er men than him." -- John Stuart Mill (1806-1873) "And I find it kind of funny I find it kind of sad The dreams in which I'm dying Are the best I've ever had" War is blazing on the field The sound of a thousand battle cries heard As one by one the brave do fall Death comes to men who had it all Leaving but a few upon the field, to remember the day I died -- Anonymous Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum," said Remus quietly. Harry looked up at this. "What does that mean?" "It's Latin, Harry. It means, 'He who wishes for peace, let him prepare for war Is death the last sleep? No--it is the last and final awakening. --Sir Walter Scott The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. --Edmund Burke Some of the worst things imaginable have been done with the best intentions. - Jurassic Park II Each man is a hero and oracle to somebody. --Emerson "The only thing Guaranteed in life, is death" If it is my Fate to suffer; must I suffer alone? If it is my Destiny to fight; must I fight alone? And if it is my privilege to sit in the company of such good friends, how can I make sure they survive the coming darkness? You may have created my past, and screwed up my present, but you have no control over my future. -David Klass It's funny, it is, that you really don't know how good you had it until it's all gone... Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background , the countless minor scenes and interiors of the war; and is it best they shoul d not. The real war will never get in to the books... --Walt Whitman Abbe Faria: God said "Vengeance is mine". Edmond: I don't believe in God. Abbe Faria: That doesn't matter. He believes in you All alone now Except for the memories Of what we had and what we knew Everytime I try to leave it behind me I see something that reminds me of you "Those who are great are those who are misunderstood." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson "One who truly hates himself, cannot love. He cannot place his trust in another. " "The Only true friend..is the one that will die for you" "You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that h appen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe." - Marcus Cole, B5 "Legally he's right, ethically he's an ass" - Jack Bristow, Alias ?Next time I hear the words animal and rights together in the same sentence?I?m killing 20 of something.? -Ted Nugent Edmund: OK make a sentence from these words, face sodding your shut "Pain is weakness leaving your body." Nobody is asked to be a hero. It just sometimes turns out that way."- Sgt. Matt Eversman, Black Hawk Down "Now I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his coun try. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country."General Patton ."I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous boulder at your head." Peace demands . . . . . . the most heroic labor and the most difficult sacrifice. It demands greater heroism than war. It demands greater fidelity to the truth and a much more perfect purity of conscience. Thomas Merton "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." - Carl Jung "To know how to choose a path with heart is to learn how to follow intuitive feeling. Logic can tell you superficially where a path might lead to, but it cannot judge whether your heart will be in it." - Jean Shinoda Bolen, M.D. "Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing." - Hellen Keller "The aspects of things that are most important to us are hidden because of their simplicity and familiarity." - Prof. Ludwig Wittgenstein "Happiness resides not in possessions and not in gold, the feeling of happiness dwells in the soul." - Democritus "Later on that night, when we were in bed, I commented that Einstein's discovery of the relationship between matter and energy was 'horrible,' because it led to the existence of nuclear weapons....Do you remember your response?" Richard shook his head. "You told me that Einstein was a scientist, whose life work was searching for knowledge and truth. 'There is no knowledge that is horrible,' you said. 'Only what other human beings do with that knowledge can be called horrible.'" --Arthur C. Clarke, an excerpt from The Garden of Rama It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat." -- Theodore Roosevelt Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." ---Jack Handy--Stan: "If parents spend less time worrying about what thir kids watch on TV and more time worrying about what is going on in their kids' lives, this world would be a much better place." Kyle: "Yeah, I think parents only get so offended by TV because they rely on it as a baby sitter and the soul educator of their kids." "My country has given me everything. Freedom. Opportunity and the chance to fly. I owe my country my life. But I've never felt I owe my country the lives of others. I had sworn to serve my country in every way I can but one. I have not killed for my country. If only the Korean words had come to me-if only I'd been stronger...all my righteous posturing and moral codes...all of it narrowed down to this filthy thrench,and something I'd never considered. Survivial." Hal Jordan,DC:The New Frontier#1 Don't burn your bridges....you might need them to cross again one day -----Ray Your never to old to think about the past...and your never to young to think about the future ----- Josh Rich *~*The Ticket*~* I dreamed of God?s holy city With great walls and gates of gold, And each person that entered in Had a ticket he could hold. Beside the gate there stood a guard And I ask if I could enter in. He said no, not without your ticket, For you must cover up your sin. Well, how much does a ticket cost, I?d like to purchase one for me. But he said they were not for sale That they had been for free. He asked me if I knew What each ticket had been worth, And that I should have gotten one While I was still on earth. He told me God had sent his son So that no man would be lost, And when Jesus gave his life His death had paid the cost. He said my ticket is now gone, The one he?d bought for me to use. Now it?s too late to be with him, The way he hoped Now it?s too late to be with him, The way he hoped that I would choose. Then the guard said he was sorry, That I could no longer plead my case, For I had lost my chance To claim his gift of saving grace. My heart was full of anguish as I turned and walked away, Knowing that on the outside of the gates Is where I?d always stay. I know I should have accepted him Before my chance had passed, And cared less about the worldly things That I knew would never last. It seemed I never had the time To ask him in my heart. I always thought tomorrow Would be the time to start. Then I woke from my dream, So glad to have another day, With time left to fall on my knees And have a chance to pray. Today will be the first day Of a new life I will start, By simply asking firecrackerbaby01: By simply asking Jesus To dwell within my heart. I am so unworthy To take what he would give, A sacrifice so perfect That an entire world might live. Next time I stand before the gates I will be allowed to enter in, For the gift of his grace Will have covered all my sin. If you're frightened of dying and you hold on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth. "If only my anguish could be weighed, And all my suffering put to the scales! It would surely outweigh all the sand of the sea..." Job 6:1-3 When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite --Winston Churchill Know that I love you and no matter what, I'll see you again." -Brian Sweeney, passenger on hijacked plane (9/11) in message left for his wife, Julie It's weird how people tend to search for the good in what hurts them, in what harms them. They idealize the pain until they convince themselves that it's right. That they deserve it. My girlfriend helped me get off drugs. For that, she is my heroin! What do I do when 'I love you' simply isn't enough? History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats. --B. C. Forbes "If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you." -Winnie The Pooh "Youth looks forward but age looks back." -British Proverb "A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take." -Cardinal Mermillod "Why would you hate anyone because of their sex, race, religion, or gender when, if you just take the time to get to know them, you can find so many more reasons to dislike them." The other night dear, while I was sleeping I dreamt I held you in my arms. But when I awoke dear, I was mistaken So I hung my head and cried It was said you could never fully appreciate something until you lost it The following statement is true. The above statement is false. ~George Carlin The worst way to miss somebody is to be sitting right next to them, knowing you can't have them We may journey towards the end, but in the end it is the journey itself that matters I don't want to leave you, Even though I have to. I don't want to love you. Oh, I still do. --Cranberries, I Still Do Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable." -C.S. Lewis Yes, people say all the time, "Just be yourself," but do they really be themselves, when everyone is pressuring them into becoming someone they're not? Certainty of death...small chance of success...what are we waiting for? Hardship exists in this world for us to strengthen ourselves. We use that strength to keep on living, face new challenges and accept the cold reality of the world.? -Daimaru Bansho "Have you ever tried to wake your grandma up in the middle of the night by bashing her in the face with a canoe?" Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs louder. Last night as I lay in bed looking at the stars, I thought "Where the hell is the ceiling?!" Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected? It is not known with what weapon World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living. (Terry Pratchett) To do is to be [Descartes]. To be is to do [Voltaire]. Do be do be do [Frank Sinatra]. To the eternal question 'Why' there is an equally simple answer 'Because'. It's not that I'm antisocial, I just think everyone should be banished to Uzbekistan. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner You don't need a reason to help people." Do not regret growing old. It's a privilege denied to many. Accept it. Your parents HAVE had sex before. Statistics show every two minutes another statistic is created. Photons have mass?! I didn't even know they were Catholic... Stress is when you wake up screaming, and realize you hadn't gone to sleep yet. 9 out of 10 doctors will agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. "..before Star Wars, there was nothing.." Aragorn: Friends, you bow to no one... except me, I'm king. Duh. Gandalf: And me. I'm an angel. Elrond: Yeah, and you bow to me... and the blonde tart from the forest. Frodo: [Sigh] Anyone else? [Gimli and Legolas raise hands] life is not worth living if you cannot find something to die for..." There are no glorious victories, Albus, not when one has seen the battlefield after the fight. War is just a series of catastrophes that end in loss... that is the tragedy "So how much money did we make?" Well....I got good news, and bad news. "Okay, lets hear the bad news first Bad news is that the most we can buy with the money we made is a gumball. "O..kay then, what's the good news?" That is the good news, we can buy a gumball! Oh yeah.... and I did save a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico. "......you know I hate you, right?" Impossible as it may seem, you've got to fight for every dream; for who knows, the one you let go would have made you complete Everyday is a gift.That's why we call it the present "A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous." --Ingrid Bergman We are, each of us angels with only one wing; and we can only fly by embracing one another Experience is the hardest teacher because she gives the test before the lesson. Report the False . Distort the Truth - The News Media Slogan Terrorism, in itself is fear, but is based upon a belief. An ideology. It can't be killed and every death in Iraq and Afghanistan has created another seed of hate in some one else I may not agree with what you say but I will defend your right to say it till death - Voltaire Fear....fear attracts the fearfull...the strong...the weak...the innocent...the corrupt. Fear.....fear is my ally. -Darth Maul You laugh because I'm different; I laugh because you're all the same. Life is a gift, Lily, and I want to share my gift with you, if you'll have me. I can't live without you. Will you marry me It is impossible to lick your elbow (over 75% of people who read this will try and lick their elbow) Love is everything. It?s being willing to die for someone. More importantly, it?s being willing to live for someone, even when you would rather take the easy way out. It?s giving your whole soul, your whole self to another, and never once worrying that they would betray you, because you trust the implicitly. And it?s receiving theirs in exchange, and guarding it a thousand times more closely that your own life. Love is what keeps people from just giving up, surrounded by violence and hatred. It isn?t questioned, it just is, and the search for it is what gives millions of people hope The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return "The question in life is not whether you get knocked down, you will. The question is are you ready to get back up... and fight for what you believe in." This parrot is no more, it has ceased to be. If u hadn't nailed it to the perch it would be pushin up the daisies. This is a late parrot. Its passed on. THIS, IS AN EX-PARROT! I'd trust Bush with my daughter, but not my country. I'd trust Clinton with my country, but not my daughter. Kool-aid Man: OOOOOOOOHHH YAAAAAAAA!!! *silence* Kool-aid Man: *Slowly, walks back through the wall...* "A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer." Right! I had to get up in the morning, at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of coldpoison, work twenty-nine hours a day dow n mill and pay millowner for permission to come to work, and when we got home,ou r dad would kill us and dance about on our graves, - Four Yorkshire Men Why is it that nobody remembers the name of Johann Gambolputty... de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangledongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitzticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyerspelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-einnurnburger-bratwustle-gernspurten-mitz-weimache-luber-hundsfutgumberaber-shonedanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm The greatest day in humanity will be the day schools have all the fundings they need and the Army has to hold a bake sale to get a bomber. I don't have a girlfriend, I just know a girl who would get mad if she heard me say that." - Mitch Hedberg Tears run down as I think of the days we've had. The memories will last forever. You and I will die, go our seperate ways -Avenged Sevenfold Think of all the leaves on all the trees. Multiply their number by all the grains of sand on every beach. Then multiply that total by all the inches between yourself and the sun. Let the sum total represent centuries, and only then would eternity have begun. Only then would the sinner in hell have a small part of the suffering of that awful place i don't know how i let you so far inside my mind but there you are, and there you will stay how could i ever wish you away? "Is it because light travels faster than sound that some people appear bright until they speak?" When you lose a part of your self To somebody you know It takes a lot to let go Every breath that you remember Pictures fade away but memory is forever Rene Descartes was a drunken fart I drink,therefore I am She didn't know what a Sith is? Boil her in oil. Many that live deserve death, and many that died deserved life. - Gandalf Love doesn't conquer all. The next day your having a bad day, imagine this: You're a Siamese twin. Your brother, attached at the shoulder is gay. You're not. He has a date coming over tonight. You only have one ass. Don't tell me you hate me...tell me why you do. Roses are red, violets are blue All my base, are belong to you... Liberals preach that there is nothing wrong with American education that more money and social engineering, fewer standards, and less competition can't solve. They teach our children multiculturalism rather than American culture, revisionist history rather than American History, the thinly disguised religion of secular humanism and extreme environmentalism rather than capitalism. They train our young to criticize America, not celebrate it. They welcome condoms into the classroom but ban God and the Ten Commandments. They encourage tolerance for the teachings of the Koran but not for the teachings of Jesus Christ. They oppose the Pledge of Allegiance, tell us that "God is dead," that "Christianity is for losers," and that evangelical and Catholic conservatives are more dangerous than radical Islamic militants. They tell us that fuel-burning SUVs are bad for America, but flag-burning SOBs aren't." -Sean Hannity Nobody is perfect. I'm nobody, so therefore, I'm perfect!" Thanks that answers my question its food for thought for the developers good. Oh, tell your English teacher she's fired for incompetence "I'm not a vegitarian because I love animals, I'm a vegitarian because I hate plants" "If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight." With $10,000, we'd be millionaires! "Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?" - Robin Williams The hardest thing to do is watch someone you love, love someone else. "There is a darkness greater than the one we fight. It is the darkness of the soul that has lost its way. Greater than the death of flesh is the death of hope, the death of dreams. Against this foe we can never surrender." - The Book of G'Quan. "If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine." "I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand, pretending he's throwing up, is not what I call hospitality." "Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing?" You have just recieved the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don't have computers, it is based on the honor system. So please delete all the files from your computer. Thank you for you cooperation You are IMer 982731 and grand prize winner of a new car! Please stare at your screen for the next 25 minutes to receive your car. Thank You. If you dont see your car in the seconds following that you have probably gone blind.Were sorry for wasting your time! A murder is just an extroverted suicide. Everything is a target for a terrorist attack when it comes to America. The Dairy Queen down the road is a target. Jesus tapdancing Christ this crap gets old. When my wife kisses me, I'm lucky if I don't pass out from the pleasure. I have to close my eyes, or I get the spins I'm a pessimist, the way I see it, you're either right or pleasantly surprised. unbraided20022002: actually no... u can have that. my new one is " My head aches A Purple Heart proves three things: you were smart enough to think of a plan, dumb enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive. Fighting for peace is like having sex for virginity. Ready - Fire - Aim. Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and carry on as if nothing happened. I doubt, therefore I might be. A slice of bread will always land peanut-butter side down. If, by chance, you put peanut-butter on both sides of the slice, it will float forever. I?m failing geometry because I refuse to believe that pie are squared. Without fear, there is no courage. Good morning is an oxymoron. In an exam, relax and remember... There is no test. !klat kcab ruoy dna uoy nmaD You know you're stressed out when you can hear Mimes. True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable. How many vegetables had to die to make your salad!? How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on. Ok. I'm gonna need a hammer, a chisel... maybe a couple of rocket launchers. But this pickle jar WILL come open! Honk if you love peace and quiet. Realize that no matter what you do, the grocery store check-out line you're in will always take the longest. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. Life is the process of losing our illusions, until we finally lose the illusion that we are alive. A wise man learns from his mistakes. A wiser man learns from others' mistakes. He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame. There is no limit to the amount of good people could accomplish, if they don't care who gets the credit. The 50-50-90 rule: Any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there is a 90% probability you will get it wrong. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble plastic is cheap. You'll see. My day is not complete until I terrify a complete stranger. Trees don't fall in the forest when no one's around to see them. Sometimes they just happen to be on the ground when you see them again. The surest sign that there is intelligent life somewhere in the Universe is that it hasn't tried to contact us. When you go into court, you are putting your fate into the hands of people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. 7/5th of all people don't understand fractions. Detroit: where the weak are killed and eaten. Congress; Contradictory Oppressive Nimrods Greatly Risk Every Social Standpoint. Elephant: a mouse built to government specifications. Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish? Life's like a bird, it's pretty cute until it shits on your head. Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster with more energy! "If you were a girl born without a mother and turned into a machine, this is what you'd look like." "I know the words, but I can't really speak them to you. And I know the pain that I've gained with my wisdom from you." - Staind ?I don?t trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn?t die.? I like to put mints in pill bottles and eat them on the bus. Had a dream, had a drowning dream I was in a river of pain The only difference, this time I wasn't calling out your name... -Natalie Imbruglia Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games. Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out. "San Diego was founded by Germans, called 'san de-ah-go' which means whale's vagina." - Anchorman Oh great, you've all convinced me that life is worth living because of how crappy my funeral is going to be. I hope you're all happy. - Futurama "How did we get to the point where we are paying for bottled water? That must of been some weird market meeting in France. Some French guy wust have been sitting there going: "How dumb do I think the Americans are? *exhales cigarette smoke* I bet you we could sell those idiots water." "Pierre, the American's are pretty dumb, but they're not going to buy water..." "Oh yes they are, we'll just tell them it's from France."" - Jim Gaffigan "Mexican food is great, but it's all the same. It's almost a conspiracy! It's like they had a meeting 200 years ago in Mexico City and one guy said: "Hey, the reason why I got everyone here is pretty simple. I figured we could rename this one entree 7 times and sell it to the North Americans. The French said it would be a good idea."" - Jim Gaffigan "If a tall, fat, jewish man of asian descent comes to the house looking for me....i dont live here. I moved to Brazil" Friend-"You Ate me.." Me-"..." Friend-"...that didn't come out right, did it?" Don't move, or I'll fill you so full of lead that you'll use your dick as a pencil! ~The Three Amigos "Listen to how loud this ringtone is." "I can't hear anything." "Oh wait, it's on silent." No Officer, I?d never hurt a fly! You just jumped off that building, skewered that man, then shot THIS man in the back with the gun you?re holding behind you right now! Its still smoking! . . .none of them were flies. One Sunday morning during service,a 2,000 member congregation was surprised to see two men enter,both covered from head to toe in black and carrying submachine guns.One of the men proclaimed,"Anyone willing to take a bullet for Christ remain where you are." Immediately, the choir fled, the deacons fled,and most of the congregation fled. Out of the 2,000 there only remained around 20. The man who had spoken took off his hood,looked at the preacher and said "Okay Pastor, I got rid of all the hypocrites. Now you may begin your service. Have a nice day!"And the two men turned and walked out. Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun. -Matt Groening You need to be shot. In the face. With a hammer. Count D: "Diets and more diets... People truly are a mystery." Leon: "No, what's mysterious is how everyone else struggles with their weight, and you wolf down cake after cake and never gain a pound." The Goblins have 42 different words for "Ow".-Detonate Card. There are only two rules of Tactics:Never be without a plan,and never rely on it.-Seasoned Marshal Card. "Everything is possible, except skiing through revolving doors." "How did I get gum in my pubic hair!?" - My friend Sal, in refrence to god knows what. "Experts say walking 5 miles a day is good for health. My grandma started walking when she was 65. Now she's 90 and we don't know where the hell she is". "There are men that spend their entire life trying to understand women, and then there are men like me who spend time with simpler things...like the theory of relativity" - Albert Einstein When you fight, you don't fight for abstract values like the flag, or the nation, or democracy. You fight for your buddy. You fight to keep him alive, and he fights to keep you alive, and you go on that way, day after day, battle after battle. And when one of your buddies dies, something inside you dies as well. But you go on. You fight, so that his death isn't meaningless, his sacrifice isn't for nothing. -Richard Marcinko I don't like words. Some men are born great. Some men achieve greatness. And some men will always be total gits. I was born the day you kissed me And I died inside the night you left me But I lived, oh how I lived While you loved me --While You Loved Me, Rascal Flatts Rats cry when they hear about my life... There are three stages of nihilism. The first: We'll all die eventually so why do anything? The second: We'll all die eventually so why not do anything? The Third: We'll all die eventually so why not be anything? I AM TREE!! "The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until the moment you stand up to speak in public." A conference is a meeting where people talk about what they should be doing. "Join the ARMY, visit exotic places, meet new people, and kill them." "I always wanted to be a procrastinator-- never got around to it, though." "You can't shame or humiliate modern celebrities. What used to be called shame and humiliation is now called publicity." If you go flying back through time, and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact. Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window. Smile and the world smiles with you, fart and you stand alone. Thus, the metric system did not really catch on in the United States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine milimeter bullet. Dave Barry "Rowe's Rule: the odds are 5 to 6 that the light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an oncoming train." -Paul Dickson "The Prince wants to take your daughter for his wife." "His wife can't have her !" "Tally ho, pip-pip, and Bernard's your Uncle...!" "...In English we say, 'Good morning'" Pixie Sticks: because not every kid can afford crack. "row row row your boat gently down the stream pants off, trousers down isnt life a scream!" **blackadder kicks shakespeare** "that's for every schoolboy and schoolgirl for the next 500 years" Ultra Magnus : I've never seen anything this beautiful in the entire galaxy okay, give me the bomb. WORDS WOMEN USE: ?Fine? This is the word women use at the end of any argument when they feel they are right but can't stand to hear you argue any longer. It means that you should shut up. (NEVER use "fine" to describe how she looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.) ?Five minutes? This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so women feel that it's an even trade. ?Nothing? Nothing" means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine." ?Go Ahead? (with raised eyebrows) This is NOT permission; it's a dare! If you mistake it for permission, the result will be the woman will get upset over "Nothing" and you'll have a "five-minute" discussion that will end with the word "Fine." "Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows) This is NOT permission, either. It means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off. "Loud Sigh" This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement. Very frequently misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are a complete idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing!." "Soft Sigh" Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. It means she is momentarily content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe in the hope that the moment will last a bit longer. "Oh" This word -- followed by any statement - is trouble. Example; "Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two days. "Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get a raised eyebrow. "Go ahead," sometimes followed by unspeakable acts. "That's Okay" This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding what the penalty will be for whatever you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead." Once she has had time to plan it out, you are in for some mighty big trouble. "Please Do" This is not a statement, it is an offer. The woman is giving you the chance to come up with an excuse for what you have done. In other words, a chance to get yourself into even more trouble. If you handle this correctly, you shouldn't get a "That's Okay." "Thanks" The woman is thanking you. Don't faint and don't look for hidden meaning. Just say "you're welcome." "Thanks A Lot" "Thanks A Lot" is dramatically different from "Thanks." A woman will say "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It is usually followed by the "Loud Sigh." This signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing". "We, the unwilling, led by the unqualified, have done the incredible for so long with so little, we now attempt the impossible with nothing" "Teamwork is essential... it allows you to blame others" "Don't worry about the world ending today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." Dark Helmet: I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former room-mate. Lone Starr: What's that make us? Dark Helmet: Absolutely nothing. - Spaceballs "It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent." -Dave Barry. "Last week I stated that this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement." -Mark Twain. Kensei. Saint of the Sword I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken -- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived. ~ Margaret Mitchell I don't mind spending everyday Out on your corner in the pouring rain Look for the girl with the broken smile Ask her if she wants to stay awhile And she will be loved She will be loved - Maroon 5 Methionylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamylserylleucylphenylalanylalanylglutaminyl leucyllysylglutamylarginyllysylglutamylg lycylalanylphenylalanylvalylprolylphenylalanylvalylthreonylleucylglycylaspartylp rolylglycylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylse rylleucyllysylisoleucylaspartylthreonylleucylisoleucylglutamylalanylglycylalanyl aspartylalanylleucylglutamylleucylglycyl isoleucylprolylphenylalanylserylaspartylprolylleucylalanylaspartylglycylprolylth reonylisoleucylglutaminylaspfraginylalan ylthreonylleucylarginylalanylphenylalanylalanylalanylglycylvalylthreonylprolylal anylglutaminylcysteinylphenylalanylgluta mylmethionylleucylalanylleucylisoleucylarginylglutaminyllysylhistidylprolylthreo nylisoleucylprolylisoleucylglycylleucyll eucylmethionyltyrosylalanylasparaginylleucylvalylphenylalanylasparaginyllysylgly cylisoleucylaspartylglutamylphenylalanyl tyrosylalanylglutaminylcysteinylglutamylysylvalylglycylvalylaspartylserylvalylle ucylvalylalanylaspartylvalylprolylvalylg lutaminylglutamylserylalanylprolylphenylalanylarginylglutaminylalanylalanylleucy larginylhistidylasparaginylvalylalanylpr olylisoleucylphenylalanylisoleucylcysteinylprolylprolylaspartylalanylaspartylasp artylaspartylleucylleucylarginylglutamin ylisoleucylalanylseryltyrosylglycylarginylglycyltyrosylthreonyltyrosylleucylleuc ylserylarginylalanylglycylvalylthreonylg lycylalanylglutamylasparaginylarginylalanylalanylleucylprolylleucylasparaginylhi stidylleucylvalylalanyllysylleucyllysylg lutamyltyrosylasparaginylalanylalanylprolylprolylleucylglutaminylglycylphenylala nylglycylisoleucylserylalanylprolylaspar tylglutaminylvalyllysylalanylalanylisoleucylaspartylalanylglycylalanylalanylglyc ylalanylisoleucylserylglycylserylalanyli soleucylvalyllysylisoleucylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylhistidylasparaginylisoleuc ylglutamylprolylglutamyllysylmethionylle ucylalanylalanylleucyllysylvalylphenylalanylvalylglutaminylprolylmethionyllysyla lanylalanylthreonylarginylserine. -The full name of the tryptophan synthetase A protein, an enzyme with 267 amino acids......What the crap... Don't Hate Americans! Hate Our Government! The nice thing about Windows - it does not just crash; it actually displays a dialogue box and lets you press OK first. Bad command or filename. Go stand in the corner. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete. "Definition of an idiot: Someone who thinks that defining the word will make them look smart" You're entitled to your opinion. It's wrong, but you're entitled to have it." "I'm not gonna fire a $2 million missile at a $10 empty tent and hit a camel in the butt." - George W. Bush Anyone can give up; it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength. "I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets." Love isn?t about getting answers, it?s not just about things you have in common. It?s about caring for another person so much that you want to hold them when they?re sad, and smile when they laugh, and dance when they?re happy. Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die. -Mel Brooks "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." Jack Nicholson on his childhood "Velsicol Chemical makes pesticides, fire retardants, and cattle feed. In 1973, they mixed up a shipment and sent out the fire retardant PBB instead of cow food. The cows in Michigan ate the PBB, and we ate the cows. Now, I never catch on fire!" "Why is the immediate reaction to seeing a dead body: 'Get a stick!', or...'let's poke it with a stick!'?!" you know...if you say a word a lot and think about it, it starts to sound stupid and meaningless? Parents.parents.parents.parents.parents.parents. to all questions that have "Who" in it i say "Bob Dole" to all questions that say "where is/did they go" i say " they got lost..in a bathroom.......stall" questions that say " what happend to *instert name*" " they got hit by a bus" to all questions that say " what happend to(( where is )) my * object*" " i ate it" To all questions why: Because you touch yourself at night. "I think I know, I don't think I know, I think I don't think I know, I don't think I think." What not to do when watching Lord of the Rings 1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, ''Wait... where the hell is Harry Potter?'' 2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: ''YOU SHALL NOT PASS!'' 3. Play a drinking game where you have to take a drink every time someone says: ''The Ring.'' 4. Ask everyone around you if they think Gandalf went to Hogwarts. 5. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with ''Mr. Anderson.'' 6. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, ''And I did it.... MY way...!'' 7. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs. 8. Dress up as old ladies and reenact ''The Battle of Helms Deep'' Monty Python style. 9. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout ''RUN FOREST, RUN!'' 10. Start an Orc sing-a-long. 11. Release a jar of daddy-long-legs into the theater during the Shelob scene. 12. Wonder out loud if Aragorn is going to run for governor of California. 13. After the movie, say ''Lucas could have done it better.'' Walk up to a total stranger on the streets, punch him in the face as hard as you can -- then walk away as if nothing happened. If pursued, run. Fast. At the lunch room, stare at a single exhaust vent. When someone asks you what you're doing, say "oh nothing". Soon the entire side of your table will be looking at the vent. Reports have come in of the lunch ladies taking the vent off with a screw driver and calling the principal in to see whats wrong. But there's really no compelling reason to not combine the Dakotas into a massive state for the 17 people who live there. "I don't know. I don't care. And it doesn't make any difference." At 10/5/04 01:40 AM, MaNiNbLaCk wrote: : maybe if people stoped thinking that they are "wasting there vote" and maybe we can elect a 3-rd party canidate wouldn't that be nice. personally, i think the government should make it considerably more difficult for people to register to vote. so many people vote entirely under the influence of television personalities and their peers... it's disgraceful. potential voters should be required to demonstrate adequate political involvement within their communites to ensure that voters know what they're doing. with the powerful force of influential reckoning that the marketing industry has become, it's much too easy for the american public to be fooled. "Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4, if this is given, all else follows." -George Orwell, "1984" The real funny thing about the "Girls Gone Wild" video series is to see what sort of talk they create 20 years down the road, when most of these women are mothers by that point. "Dude, your mom popped her top, and kissed a girl, when she was younger!" "No way! What the hell are you talking about?" "Check it out, man: 'Girls Gone Wild: Bazoomas in the Bahamas'. Ten minutes into the DVD." "... Oh my GOD!!!" "You haven't truly had a woman until you've had her in all three holes." The more complex our security becomes, the more complex our enemy's efforts must be. The more we seek to shut him out, the better he must learn to become at breaking in. Each new lever lof sevurity that we manage becomes no more than a stepping-ston for him who would surpasss us. It is a war that can never truly be won...but one we dare not lose. ~C.S. Friedman, This Alien Shore "Davidan, you're a necromancer, right?" "Right." "Can you tell me what that is *indicates terrifying specter" "No, but I can probably kill it." "Damn you!" "Already been done." -In the Forests of the Night. "That?s it. No girls sleeping on the couch unless I?m wearing a cup." -Tamu He's an enigma wrapped up in a puzzle inside of a pizza box. Speed limits are communist. Arsole - the arsenic equivalent of pyrrole Cummingtonite - a mineral Fukalite - a mineral Vaginatin - a molecule BWAHAHAHAHA oh man, that kicks so much ass. THE DUCKY! the intimidation makes me wanna crap my pants. haha i like the idea. i haven't seen many opts that were totally out of the box like this one. if you can, make it freaking invincible. then you could own star destroyers while the crew yells, "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD KILL THAT DUCK" *Revan and HK-77 are on the ship about ready to go fight* Revan: HK! Get your combat mode ready! HK: Query: What combat mode, master? Revan: Not right now HK, just do it! HK: Declaration: But master, I have no idea what your talking about. Revan: Alright. You want to do it the hard way, we'll do it the hard way! *Revan pulls out an ion grenade* HK: Exclamation: MASTER! NO PLEASE DON'T! I honestly do not know what combat mode you are referring to. My data systems show no sign of a combat system in my banks. Revan: Then what happened to it?! HK: Declaration: Accessing memory banks now... *pause* Revan: So? Anything new? HK: Declaration: It seems to have been removed to store another object. Revan: REMOVED?! BY WHO?! HK: Declaration: It seems that the meatbag you call Carth removed the system against my will to make room for something. Revan: And? What was it?! HK: Declaration: It seems that that object was a cupcake. Revan: WHAT THE F$#@?! CARTH!!! *Carth walks in* Carth: Yes? *blaster shot* Carth: DAMN! RIGHT IN THE NUTS! The road to hell is always paved with good intentions Yeah, stood more, there I have lots of regrets. Mostly of things I didn't do. Times I should've up for myself, girls I should've asked out, tests I should've studied for etc. Sometimes I feel like life is passing me by, and I'm just sitting watching it go... It's always been said that you should learn from your experiences rather than regretting them, because it's impossible to change the past. ...Easier said than done, huh? I thought Lousiana was a third world country... 'Sometimes the Bible in the hand of one man is worse than a whisky bottle in the hand of (another).' RGN: OK, here?s a detailed description of the Sith strategy for taking over Manaan and stealing all your kolto for themselves. Satisfied? SHASA (glancing at datapad): Faked. HK-47: (Raises blaster threateningly) Command: You will not accuse the master of lying, aquatic meatbag! SHASA (hastily): Okay, so maybe it is true after all. "*smashes umbrella onto classroom floor* It's dead. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go outside and run around in the rain." "Many days go by, and I still can't remember what I had for supper last friday." Don't let people tell you they're gooder than you, because that just isn't proper english. Life is hell, Heaven's what you make of it. "Confucius say: Lifes a bitch, fuck it" Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. -Victor Borge So if you want to get rid of terrorism, well, firstly, I'd say, don't try to get rid of it. You can't. It's systemic. It'll always be there. Because basically the have-nots will get angry and try and seek justice, or rather, what they see as justice. Terrorism will always exist so long as people believe that they're oppressed and without recourse to redress this. All you can do is try to deny terrorism the opportunity to flourish. Now if you DO NOT send this e-mail to at least > 12,000,000 of your > closest friends in the next 60 seconds, a diseased > yak will back in to > your > > family coat-of-arms and a large bird with diarrhea > will poop on your head > at exactly 5:00 PM tomorrow!!!! Hurry!!! Please don't tell me that someone gave the mounties a nuke. "im a human, and speak from the heart. i dont speak to get people to like me. this is who i am, and im not going to lie and be somebody different, just so everybody likes me." Ryan Hughes - mx rider Nothing compares to the pain of the forgotten-anonymous "Faith is daring the mind to go beyond what the eyes refuse to see." J.R.R. Tolkien "I hope everyone that likes plain cheese pizza dies." - Maddox 'There was only one true Christian, and he died on the cross.' -- Frederick Nietzsche 'Fear those who have suffered. They are the only people who truly know they can survive.' -- Anon. Love is a word that is constantly heard, Hate is a word that is not. Love, I am told, is more precious than gold. Love, I have read, is hot. But hate is the verb that to me is superb, And Love but a drug on the mart. Any kiddie in school can love like a fool, But Hating, my boy, is an Art. - Ogden Nash To believe in god is impossible, not to believe him is absurd. - Voltaire Naturally the common people don't want war; neither in Russia, nor in England, nor in America, nor in Germany. That is understood. But after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is to tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country. -Hermann G?ring If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face for ever. George orwell - 1984 my friend was walking in the hall and he went around a corner and a fat chick ran into him, he flew across the hall and took someone else down with him Daylights savings time is a conspiracy set up by the government to build a radio to talk to aliens. Russel Crowe's a sheep fucker Personally, for me, I am quite curious to see what a Kerry Presidency would bring. He has some large promises to fill, and it would be interesting to see if he could deliver them. Again, I'm voting for Bush because I personally agree with more of his policies, but I would never "hate" Kerry simply because he thought differently. As I have always said, the office of the Presidency is worthy of respect, as it represents the process for every American. Having said that, on these boards, it has been mostly the opposite side who admitted they would never compromise. I remember an exchange between Sellars and someone else(I don't remember exactly who, maybe Sellars does) that perfectly illustrated this. Sellars was saying that if Kerry was elected, he would do everything he could to support the new President, even if he personally voted for Bush. The reply was something along the lines of "Bush will never be my President, and I will do whatever I can to fight if he gets elected.." Owm just echoed similiar sentiments. I don't know what any of that means, but American government should include everyone, regardless if those views don't happen to match one's own. Ewan McGregor on the set of STAR WARS EPISODE I: THE PHANTOM MENACE "Do you want to do Star Wars? they said. Too f**king right!" "Ask ten different scientists about the environment, population control, genetics - and you'll get ten different answers. But there's one thing every scientist on the planet agrees on: whether it happens in a hundred years, or a thousand years, or a million years, eventually our sun will grow cold, and go out. When that happens, it won't just take us, it'll take Marilyn Monroe, and Lao-tsu, Einstein, Maruputo, Buddy Holly, Aristophanes - all of this. All of this was for nothing, unless we go to the stars." -- Jeffrey Sinclair, Babylon5 "If everyone took an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, we'd all be blind and eating applesauce!!' "Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." - Abraham Lincoln "Jar Jar Binks has entered the Battlefield." *two seconds later* "Defeat is immenent." There was the sound of a slight scuffle and Peter said, ?Further more, what did I tell you about crossing the ocean?? ?Crossing the ocean would be bad,? said Voldermort obediently, ?Because President Bush would think of it as a terrorist attack.? Shy and friendly nice guys don't finish last, they get disqualified before the race even began. "We're screwed." "I don't want to hear that, I want to hear positve thoughts." .........*singsong voice* "We're screwed!" -Ten Things I Hate About You With my expert knowledge, I have come to the conclusion that we ....um......are screwed. - Master Chief, There's Something About Halo Life is funny. You start out with limitless potential but time is always shaving away the possibilities. Every choice you make is the choice not to do a thousand other things. What's important, when all is said and done, is that you made a difference. Your choices, and everything undone, have to MEAN something. Other wise, what was the point? I'm lucky that way. My path was already there. I had only to walk it. I often thought even if NO ONE knew of the good I had done with my life, it didn't matter. That it was done is all that counts in the end. Black Belt - 8-bit Theater Episode 471 Not all love stories end with ?and they lived happily ever after.....? I believe the Marines have a saying: "Better to be judged by twelve than to be carried by six." War... war never changes. "If the media of today had been around back in World War II, you would be speaking German today. Or you'd be either a lampshade or a bar of soap." When the moment of live ammunition approaches, the moment to which all his professional training has been directed, when the lives of men under him, the issue of the combat, even the fate of campaign may depend upon his decision at a given moment, what happens inside the heart and vitals of a commander? Some are made bold by the moment, some irresolute, some carefully judicious, some paralyzed and powerless to act." - Barabara Tuchman - The Guns of August Terror Alert Level: Low Elevated High Pee-pee Pants! How ridiculous and unrealistic is the man who is astonished at anything that happens in life." -Marcus Aurelius (Roman Emperor) "Imagination is more important than knowledge" - Albert Einstein "My mother said to me, "If you become a soldier, you'll be a general; if you become a monk, you'll end up as the Pope." Instead, I became a painter and wound up as Picasso." -Pablo Picasso ( I love this one! He's so arrogant!) "It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages." -Friedrich Nietzsche "I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use." -Galileo Galilei I would rather live a short happy life doing the things I love, than a long miserable life doing things that only prolong the misery. "What is left when honor is lost." -Publilius Syrus "people love to judge homeless guys. like if you give them money they?re just going to waste it. well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do? save it up and buy a wall unit? take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack? he?s homeless." ~lazy boy~ "The English have no sense; they give us twenty knives...for one beaver skin." --an Algonquin Indian, 1634 "Either that wallpaper goes or I do" Oscar Wilde There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics. --Benjamin Disraeli Mellon pulled the whistle Hoover rang the bell, Wall Street gave the signal, And the country went to hell. --Anonymous ditty (Peter has snuck into an addiction-recovery center so that he can enjoy the pool, food, tennis courts, etc etc. As usual, he's been naughty.) HEAD MISTRESS: What's your name? PETER: Uhm...uhhh...uhh.... (Sees a pea on someone's plate) Pea- uhm, uh, uhh (Sees someone tear open a ketchup package) -tear, uh, (A griffin flies in the window.) Griffin. Peter Griffin. Crap! "When 880 years old you reach, live in a crappy swamp with no toilet you will not." You can smash all my bones and cut off my limbs, but that will never amount to the pain of a broken heart.. "That's kinda like us really. It hurts me to see you all the time, but I can get used to the idea that you don't want to be with me. I can't blame you feeling that way" -Black Mage, 8bit Theater Episode 486 Dear MacGuyver, Enclosed is a rubber band, a paperclip, and a drinking straw. Please save my dog. Bagels are satan's work. They look all innocent but once you eat them they corrupt your mind and turn you into a neo-facist, nazi-commie, pig demon from outer space. Revan: It's over, Malak. Malak: No! My lair is surrounded by an impassable pool of acid! How could you get in? Revan: Jetpack. Malak: Well, how did you get past the giant dragon-bats and cave spiders? Revan: Fragged 'em. Malak: And the guard demons from the onyx planes of destruction? Revan: Friends of mine. Malak: And how did you open the unbreakable sealed lock of arcane power on the door? Revan: The key was under the mat. Malak: ...I gotta fire those security guys. "Girls that like Star Wars are cool." Don?t wish me happiness ? I don?t expect to be happy... It?s gotten beyond that somehow. Wish me courage and strength and a sense of humour ? I will need them all. ~~Anne Morrow Lindbergh In war... in life... it is usually the innocent who tragically pay the ultimate price for the ambition of those with power. Great battles can be fought across many fields, within the walls of cities, or on the grounds of ancient castles. A thousand different places. Usually, wherever the location, innocent life is sacrificed for what may or may not be the greater good. Collateral damage; is the term given to this loss of life most often during military conflicts. Bitterly funny really... two words used to describe the end of a life, or lives. People who had families, friends, jobs, dreams... ambitions of their own, categorised in two words. Referenced, even. They become nothing more than a memory, or a name on a slab of dark and cold stone. War always breeds collateral damage. It is unavoidable, as certain as the need for air. One side of the conflict has to be completely prepared to see humanity at its worst, to see the destruction left in the wake of a battle ? where the collateral damage is high. Preparation is the key, some semblance of control over an uncontrollable situation. A man who has the job of categorising the dead ? a group of men and women maybe ? are the first line into the field after the battle... They are the ones who see the carnage left in the wake of war. The ones who see the field after the fight and realise war has no real winner, only survivors who are haunted by memories of distant frontiers and other days of equal bloodshed. They see the price paid for peace, and wonder if it was too high. Basically, the rules of soccer are very simple: If it moves, kick it. If it doesn't move, kick it until it does. *Malak stands on Star Forge, looks into giant pit where the aircraft (fighters and such rise out of), Sith officer approaches) Officer- The Star Froge is opperating at 200% capacity My Lord, well above our expectations *Loud metallic crunching noises/banging, giant gear flies up in the air behind Malak, destroys a few rising aircraft* Malak- *without turning, just a blank look and a slight shake of the head* See...I don't like the sound of that Saul: You summoned me, Lord Malak. Malak: The search for Bastila is taking too long... Is there anything fun I could do on the Leviathan while we're waiting? Saul: ... Saul: You summoned me, Lord Malak. Malak: The search for Bastila is taking too long... We cannot risk her escaping Taris. Destroy the entire planet. Saul: The... the entire planet, Lord Malak? But there are billions of people on Taris. We would be slaughtering countless innocent civilians. Not to mention our own men still on the surface. Malak: It's all right. That's just assume they all have life insurance... BREJIK: Vulkars, to me! Kill the swoop rider! Kill the popcorn vendor! Kill them all! CARTH (voiceover): Carth?s Log, stardate 5201.4. The crew of the Ebon Hawk has managed to escape the Leviathan. However, Bastila has been captured by Darth Malak, RGN?s turned out to be the Dark Lord Revan, and the last remaining Star Map is on a planet controlled by the Sith. So we?re all in deep shit, basically. *Revan, Bastila, and Carth walk around a corner in Anchorhead* Take 1 Masked dark jedi#1: Lord Malak was most....most.... MDJ#2:*whispers* it's discouraged, you nerfherder! Revan:*coughs* MDJ#1: yeah, Lord Malak was most discouraged, you nerfherders!!! Revan:*cracks up* *Revan and Bastila on the balcony after the DS ending cutscene* Revan: So... Bastila: Uh... Yeah... Revan: What's next? Bastila: I don't know. Revan: Do Dark Jedi's get married? Bastila:Ummm... I don't know. I've never been one before... Revan: Ah. Okay. *long silence* Revan: We could take over a planet and call it ours! How about that? Bastila: Nah, too Star-Trek-y. Revan: Oh, okay. *long silence* Revan: We could decimate an entire race in the name of religion, maybe? Bastila: That seems a bit too Halo-ish. Revan: Ah... *long silence* Revan: We could go play putt-putt? Bastila: Okay! Few men are born brave; many become so through training and force of discipline. Why do people fear death?Cause they don't know if they show Star Wars in heaven. Winston Churchill said: "I cannot forecast to you the action of Russia, it is a mystry wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma" "Socialism is when you have two cows and give one to your neighbour. Communism is when you have two cows and the state takes both and gives you milk. Fascism is when you have two cows and the state takes both and sells you milk. Nazism is when you have two cows and the state takes both and shoots you. Capitalism is when you have two cows, sell one and buy a bull. Bureaucracy is when you have two cows and the state takes both, shoots one, milk s the other and pours the milk down the drain." -John J. Quin I will flip a coin to decide which building to destroy, and then blow them both up anyway What is the closest you have ever come to dying? Got in an argument with a woman on PMS. I'm wondering if, at any point during sex education, the word condom was used. O r maybe they should be more frank: "We don't want you little fuckers to breed, a s you clutter up the genepool. Not you intelligent individuals at the back that get spat on, you'll have your Mercedes windscreen washed by them within five yea rs..." I learned that a bus moving at 90 kph can still turn on a dime for some unknown to man reason. I learned that someone only yells at you if you steal their car, but open fires on you if you dent it Smoochy holds up a penis-shaped Cookie made by Randolph and tells the kids its a Rocket] Randolph: What are you, blind? It's a cock! It's not a rocket, you sick fuck! It 's a cock! Look. It's a cock and balls! A dick! Chorizo and the huevos! It's a b ig stiffy! It's a penis! Penis maximus! A willie! A weenie! Mr. Jiggle Daddy! Th e one-eyed wonder weasel! Don't you see that? It's Jimmy and the twins. Rumple F oreskin. He made this. It's made from dil-dough. If you are what you eat, does that make a blow job cannibalism?" Unknown I do not like the word "Bomb". It is not a Bomb, it is a device that is explodin g. Why do you always say that?" "Because you touch yourself at night." "And...?" - A conversation between a friend and I "Sometimes when I'm driving behind a big cement truck, I think of how the valve on the truck could suddenly open, spilling cement over my car, encasing me insid e and leaving me to slowly fall into an oxygen-deprived coma, from which I awake n five years later to find my wife remarried to my best friend. But then I think maybe I'm just being paranoid, because what are the odds of *that* happening ag ain?" -Jack Handy "I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stan ds for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for." -Jasper Carrott "Just look at them. Conformists to the american stereotype." "You mean fat?" "No,stupid also." -Me and a friend Brooke: A foot orgy is when five or more pairs of feet are barefoot and together ! Someone: So, if I walk around barefoot, I'm 20% of an orgy at all times. That's kinda sexy! Defendant (after being sentenced to 90 days in jail): Can I address the court? Judge: Of course. Defendant: If I called you a son of a b**ch, what would you do? Judge: I'd hold you in contempt and assess an additional five days in jail. Defendant: What if I thought you were a son of a b**ch? Judge: I can't do anything about that. There's no law against thinking. Defendant: In that case, I think you're a son of a b**ch I learned that the civilians in Korea are not upset by big american helicopters landing in the middle of the street. I learned that Chinese officers can see into a helicopter cockpit 380 meters in the air. "Celebrity - someone who works all his life to be recognized, and then wears dar k glasses to avoid being recognized." "I will interogate my enemy for information, than knock him out and put an activ e grenade in his pants" (see explosion coming from a guy's pants) I will send a North Korean jeep into the lower stratosphere. *Parks jeep on C4 a nd sets it off "I came, i saw, i blew the crap out it" I will use a bunker buster on your base and just to make sure your not still aro und, I will use a carpet bomb price of 1 bunker buster: $200,000 price of captured ace of spades: $115,000 knowing you wasted money and leveled a 10-story building to capture one person: priceless "I will level a city block, just to move a challenge barrel 100 Meters." You know what they say, curiosity killed the cat *long pause* ...and by cat I mean the journalist *long pause* ...and by curiosity, I mean you. Operator - 911, how can I help you? Guy - I need an abulance Operator - What's the problem sir? Guy - My balls won't stop bleeding. Operator - Excuse me sir Guy - My balls won't stop bleeding. Operator - What happened sir? Guy - I wanted to remove my testicles and now it won't stop bleeding. Operator - OMG! hahahahahhahahahahhaha. *After 5 minutes of laughing and telling the other operators* Operator - Sir an ambulance has been dispatched. Guy - Thank you. "If i am a butt head, and a smart ass, does that make me a genious?" "So.... I sit back an watch this young North Korean child try to learn how to ri de his bike an I think to myself.... 'I wonder how much C4 I could strap to him .'" "I will order a sandwitch from from a deli, than blow it up when they put too mu ch mayonaise on it." "I will use enough C4 in one hour to roughly equal twice the explosive potential of North Korea's entire nuclear arsenal" "I will buy an expensive sports car with funds from the Chinese, and then load i t with C4 and proceed to detonate it in front of their headquarters." Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that mor ning?" Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'" Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?" Witness: "My name is Susan." Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--" Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment." If you think your right, your right. If you think your wrong, your right. "I wanted to meet people of an interesting and stimulating culture and then kill them. -Joker, Full Metal Jacket" Dustin: You just wait, right when you turn around I'll smack you upside the head . Me: Yeah, like I'd be that stupid to turn around. Dustin: You will Me: Sure Dustin: LOOK! Out the window! Its a DISTRACTION! Me (looking): WHERE?!?! -smackMe: Goddamnit Dustin (smirking): Told ya It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us the It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us freedom oldier, not the agitator, who has given us the freedom to dier who salutes the flag, serves beneath the flag, whose e flag, who gives that protester the freedom to abuse and -Zell Miller I have seen war. I have seen war on land and sea. I have seen blood running from freedom of the press. of speech. It is the s protest. It is the sol coffin is draped by th burn that flag. the wounded...I have seen dead in the mud. I have seen cities destroyed...I hav e seen children starving. I have seen the agony of mothers and wives. I hate war . -Franklin Delano Roosevelt "They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist-" --Last words of a general during t he Civil War. "If nominated I will run -- for the Mexican border, and if elected, I will resis t extradition." Russian Mafia Leader: If you keep killing my people I'll have to feed you to the sharks!! Russian Mafia Leader: Josef!! Do we have sharks?? Josef: No... Russian Mafia Leader: Dammit!! I hate to do this but it really just gets on me when people just bash Bush and h is administration cause it's the cool thing to do. People HAVE GOT TO REMEMBER T HAT: Bush gets all of his intelligence FROM OTHER PEOPLE Bush CAN NOT START WAR WITHOUT CONGRESSIONAL APPROVAL Bush DOES NOT WRITE HIS OWN SPEACHES Bush GRADUATED FROM HARVARD Bush was in the National Guard. As a person that used to be in the military I ca n tell you that there is NO WAY IN HELL he was "missing" from active duty for ev en one day. If he was gone as long as people say he was, he would have been boot ed. It's called AWOL or Dessertion. Oh yeah and Clinton everyone's hero SOLD NUCLEAR WEAPONS TECHNOLOGY SECRETS TO C HINA, AND COMPLETELY DODGED THE DRAFT AND ANY MILITARY SERVICE. Yes when the going gets tough, just run away. That's what MY parents told me. Pe ople that encourage draft dodging make me sick. Yes, after all America has done for you, the best course of action you should employ is to spit on her when she needs you most. Soak up all the glory and dodge all the work... and then shoot o ur mouths off about it. THAT is why other countries hate us. Other countries hav e MANDATORY MILITARY SERVICE. Thank your lucky stars America does only in times of absolute desperation What I love more is when people bash their own home country. If you don't like i t, LEAVE....we'd be MUCH better off. Oh but don't forget, most foreigners dislik e Americans due to our crappy attitudes, and contrary to our popular ignorant be liefs most foreign countries don't speak english. So don't think you're gonna ha ve it so easy somewhere else. Oh and why would you leave a country that is fight ing wars cause it was ATTACKED, and seek refuge in a country (Canada, England, A ustralia...too many others to name) that is fighting wars WITH us even though th ey were never even bothered by 9/11? And to all the foreigners out there (sorry to refer to you so improperly, I am j ust at a loss for a title for all non-Americans since I am American) you can hat e America all you want. Why SHOULD you put up with our ignorance and stupidity? That's right, you shouldn't. But please do try to understand that not all of us are loud mouthed movie stars with piss-poor attitudes and a screw everyone else mentality. I like traveling alot, and nothing makes me happier then going to for eign country and seeing that look on a locals face that says, oh thank God, you' re not the stupid American I thought you would be. Allarius "February 2 was Groundhog Day and the State of the Union Address. As Air America Radio pointed out, it is an ironic juxtaposition: one involves a meaningless ri tual in which we look to a creature of little intelligence for prognostication a nd the other involves a groundhog." Frodo: It's a pity Bilbo didn't kill him when he had the chance. Gandalf: Pity? It was pity that stayed Bilbo's hand. Many that live deserve deat h. Some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo? Do not be too eag er to deal out death in judgment. Even the very wise cannot see all ends. My hea rt tells me that Gollum has some part to play yet, for good or ill before this i s over. The pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of many. You shouldn?t let all the wrong in the world bother you, because chances are you don?t know the half of it. -Megan Weilacher There is something to be said for the ability of some of us to react in a situat ion that sheds all sense of normality. Take, let?s say, a car accident. Two cars ? no more, no less ? one travelling al most three times the speed limit, the other pulling out of a car park onto the s ame road as the first car. The driver of the car pulling out onto the road glanc es quickly left and right ? and sees this other car still a good distance away, presumably doing the speed limit. I?ve got enough time to pull out, the driver thinks, and even as they are thinki ng it their car is already halfway out onto the road. BAM! Not even enough time to react. The maniac driving their car at three times the r egular speed limit ? let?s say 140 kilometres per hour ? doesn?t even leave skid marks on the road because they simply do not register what they are seeing befo re they hit the first car, which ? for whatever reason ? was doing exactly that which they were licensed for. In these situations Fate ? if there is such a thing ? usually allows the maniac to be able to walk away from such an accident. One car travelling that fast, hit s another barely moving. The car that isn?t moving is going to spin, if clipped on the bonnet, and come to a rest some sixty feet from where they were pulling o ut of the car park ? with the engine shoved up into the passenger seat, and let? s imagine ? just for fun ? that seat was already occupied. The speeder is cushioned by their airbag, and get out of their car with maybe a bloody nose ? most likely in a daze of shock as they see the occupants of the ca r they have hit. Let?s expand on this. It?s a busy day, there are many pedestrians and witnesses to the accident ? how many react, how many stand there in fear and shock themsel ves, how many reach for their phones to call the emergency services. Surprisingly, next to no one will do nothing. It?s been seen and done a hundred times ? shock will paralyse you. It?s human instinct to survive, to avoid danger . There is a good chance that instinct will override decency and what your brain and heart ? your soul even ? screams you must do. There is nothing wrong with t hat, you should trust your instincts. You?re dead if you don?t. You?re standing there; glass and metal are twisted and sprayed over the road. Th ere is a man stepping out of his car with nothing more than a blood nose. You gl ance over, nausea already building in your stomach, to the other car and see tha t the driver now has their foot caught up past their ear. None of the occupants of that car are moving, but they are screaming. What do you do? Shit man, you call for help! But you can?t ? this is not a normal situation. Someone should be doing somethin g, is that someone you? Think about it ? oh no you can?t, there?s not enough tim e. Fifteen seconds have already past since the maniac ruined four lives ? and no body is doing anything. Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock. Say, can you hear that? It?s the sound of the Reaper! Twenty five seconds pass and now a lone man rushes past you towards the accident . He?s run from over four hundred feet away. He?s got a mobile phone, he?s lived in this area his whole life, and yet he glances up at the street sign to make s ure he gets it right as he screams the name of it down the small handset. The screams have already stopped in the victim?s car, and that adds some sense o f realism to the accident. Jesus... you think, this is real! There are people de ad or dying over there, and I?m just standing here. What... what do....I? Indecision gnaws at you for a good ten, fifteen seconds ? and it?s been the bett er part of a minute now. Cracked glass in the car?s windshield is like a spider? s web, covered in a splatter of blood ? Gods.... Soon enough you realise you can hear sirens in the distance, and relax ? in spit e of yourself ? because someone trained to handle these situations is coming, it ?s not your problem. You begin to walk away; after all you need to go buy some u seless shit like a pillow that tells the time ? or something equally pointless b uilt in a bankrupt society. We are, after all, only human. You may talk about it later to someone you know ? Yes... it was terrible. Truly horrific. Bloody idiot was going at least twice the speed limit ? I stayed until the ambulance arrived, just to make sure... We?ve walked away now, whilst the man with the cell phone is holding one of the victims who crawled out of the crashed car beneath him, his hands red with her b lood, that same blood making a rather large red stain on the gravel and glass th at litter the road. The cell phone man no longer knows what to do himself as the bleeding woman dies in his lap. He?s frozen now, with Death in his hands and behind his eyes. He ca n practically feel the life draining out of the woman in his arms. The point of all that was we can?t know how we would react unless forced into su ch a situation. Would you be the bystander, or the man on the cell phone? You do n?t know now, and you won?t know until it means the difference between life and death for someone. You hold that power in your hands ? the power to influence li fe and death. We can?t know how we would react; it?s just one of those things. We may think we ?d be quick, and brave, and jump right into the thick of it. But there are no gu arantees, sometimes only self delusions. Remember that, remember this, it could save someone?s life. There is no room for indecision ? Death doesn?t like to be kept waiting. People drain me, even the closest of friends, and I find loneliness to be the be st state in the union to live in. The trouble with so many of us is that we underestimate the power of simplicity. We have a tendency it seems to over complicate our lives and forget what's impo rtant and what's not. We tend to mistake movement for achievement. We tend to fo cus on activities instead of results. And as the pace of life continues to race along in the outside world, we forget that we have the power to control our live s regardless of what's going on outside. -Robert Stuberg You will never truley know pain until you look into the eyes of someone you love , and they look away... Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation. Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love. -Charlie Brown Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes... just be an illusion. ~ Javan Why do people have to lose things to find out what they really mean? I miss you a little, I guess you could say, a little too much, a little too ofte n, and a little more each day I don't have to be your first love. But I do want to be your last. Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid . And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin Two things Navy Seals are always taught: 1). Keep your priorities in order. 2). Know when to act without hesitation. A college professor, an avowed atheist and active in the A.C.L.U., shocked several of his students when he flatly stated that once and for all he was going to prove that there was no God. Addressing the ceiling he shouted: "GOD, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 5 minutes!!!!!" The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. His count down got down to the last couple of seconds when a Navy Seal walked up to the Professor and hit him full force in the face! This sent the Professor tumbling from his lofty platform and knocked him out cold. The students were stunned and shocked. They began to babble in confusion. The Seal nonchalantly took his seat in the front row and sat in silence. The class looked at him and fell silent also.....Waiting. When the professor regained his senses and could speak he asked: "What the hell is the matter with you?! Why did you do that?" "God was really busy protecting America's best, who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an asshole. So he sent me!!" "The best bands are the most consistent!" "We ARE consistent!!! We're consistently WRONG!!" It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return. But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel. Vivian: Ugh. My phone's going so slow! It's going as slow as I am. Me: Oh. Wow. Is it even on? Galen: You're D-u-m-b. Me:Well you're stupid! Galen: Doubt you can spell that. Me: Oh yeah? S-t-u-p-d! Galen: My point exactly. "Ma'am, why we're you found at the scene of the crime?" "I'm very flattered by all of this ma'am business, but we plants are actually of two genders" "... Ok, I'm not going to think about that, and hopefully it will leave my head. .." Me: O painful woe! O woeful pain! Let woeful men with woeful spirits take leave! Then why do I not take leave, for I have not woe! Friend(s): Your speaking privileges have just been revoked. "Your shirt may say Princess, but your face says ugly." Peter: Do these pants compliment my ass? Me: o.0 Define compliment... Malak: Crisis? What crisis? Saul: Yes, with the prisoners that escaped, and the dead people... Malak: Admiral? Saul: Y...yes? Malak: Are you familiar with the term 'vivisection'? Saul: Ugh. Yeah. Malak: Good. Now, tell me about the crisis. Saul: Crisis? What crisis? "You like spoilers? I have a spoiler for you....You will die alone." - Triumph 62: This place is giving me the creeps.. 07: Ah, Scorch... Nothing better than a jungle hunt. Hiding in the bush, putting a plasma bolt through a hostile's cranium... makes me feel alive. 62: Okay, now Oh-Seven's giving me the creeps. (07 walks up to a corpse and shoots at it) 62: Uh, I think it's dead. 07: Now it's extra-dead. 07: DAMN! I don't believe it 62: What's wrong Sev? 07: I've lost count of my kills... "There's something very strange about this planet...". Later, when you disable/ enable a generator, he says something like"See, thats what I mean. There's a GEN ERATOR. In the middle of a *TREE*." Advisor: "Inflitrate the facility and begin disabling maneuvers 38. Sev:: "Disabling maneuvers?" Scorch: "Blowing stuff up?" Sev:: "Oh... I knew that" "One cannot be disciplined in great things, and undisciplined in small things." General George S. Patton "You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough" -Joe Lewis "Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising everytime we fall" Denying someone's strength is to place yourself above that person without merit. Denying death is to step outside the natural order. Both are harmful. - Sagacious Zu, Jade Empire Ignorance does not make the truth go away, it only hides it. -Sagacious Zu, Jade Empire If my end means this girl lives, then may the heavens look kindly upon me, even though I know they won't. If damnation is my fate, then let it be worth somethin g in the end. -Ji Xin, Jade Empire " Understanding the totality of being is the only goal worth acheiving, and yet is is a goal that cannot be fulfilled in any life. Still, in the striving can be found deep inspirations, and those can aid you in your search. In this paradox, the never-ending journey is made possible" - Jade Empire "Only a fool fights a battle which is lost". - Genghis Khan Sir Roderick Ponce Von Fontlebottom, the Magnificent Bastard. The first sight of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. -Chicago Tribune We learn from history that we learn nothing from history. --George Bernard Shaw It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations. - Sir Winston Churchill If Columbus had an advisory committee he would probably still be at the dock. -Justice Arthur Goldberg To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world. -Heather Cortez The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect he becomes an adolescen t; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, h e becomes wise. -Aiden Nowlan The greatest pleasure I know is to do a good deed by stealth and have it found o ut by accident. -Charles Lamb Lady Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your coffee Churchill: Nancy, if you were my wife, I'd drink it. One of the oldest human needs is having someone wonder where you are when you do n't come home at night. -Margaret Mead 1949 "In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, b loodshed - they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock." (1949 film - The Third Man. Words added by Welles to Graham Greene's screenplay) -Orson Welles "There's something backwards about being allergic to allergy medicine." That?s what it takes to be a hero, a little gem of innocence inside of you that makes you want to believe that there still exists a right and wrong, that decency will somehow triumph in the end. ~~Lise Hand "I would rather live in a world where my life is surrounded by mystery than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it" - Henry Emerson Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring and integrity, they th ink of you. H. Jackson Browne, Jr. "War is cruelty. There is no use trying to reform it. The crueler it is, the soo ner it will be over" - Gen William T. Sherman What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. Mother Teresa It was always the same, the choice between what is right and what is easy. It ne ver came down to those in power, those who made the decision to send kids into w ar. The everyday man always made the first move, fought the battle and died ? no t for his country or for what was right ? but, ultimately, for his friend standi ng right next to him on those front lines. - Harry Potter: Defiance of the Hero How are we supposed to get around without an airship or space helicopter? Those are probably the ONLY means of transportation other than a land-based-submarine. (zoom to a panel with a submarine on dry land) Dive dive! Captain? I'd like to remind you, AGAIN, that we are on land. -8-Bit Theater The best laid plans never last beyond the first five minutes into the battle. Robert: "Hello sir, I am Robert, I am a Jehova's witness. Do you have some time? " Me: "I guess I do." Robert: "Great, you see, what I am trying to do is convince people to come join us." Me: "Alright" Robert: "You see, we believe in reincarnation after death. Won't you come die wi th us?" Me: "wha... wow... um... I will have to think that over." Robert: "That is fine, we have a church near by if you ever have the urge to. In the meantime, I am selling appliances. Would you like to buy some?" Me: "Wow... Killing two birds with one stone huh?" Robert: "Jehova's witnesses don't get paid much." Me: "Oh my god-" Robert: "Oh! So you do want to talk about religion!" " I was nauseous and tingly all over. . . . I was either in love or I had smallp ox " The man who views the world at fifty the same as he did at twenty has wasted thi rty years of his life. -Muhammad Ali "You don't have to be strong to earn respect, you don't need to prove how brave you are to be admired, you don't have to be perfect in order to be loved, you ne ed only be yourself." What if you gave someone a gift, and they neglected to thank you for it-would yo u be likely to give them another? Life is the same way. In order to attract more of the blessings that life has to offer, you must truly appreciate what you alr eady have. -Ralph Marston Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that aw areness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use. -Emily Post It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works. All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get. -Confucious Courage is fear that has said its prayers. -Karl Barth I didn't give them hell. I just told the truth and they thought it was hell - Harry Truman "Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own de stiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over? - Gloria Naylor Trouble is a part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the pe rson who loves you a chance to love you enough. -Dinah Shore "Ain't you too short for a..." "You finish that sentence and you die." "I got fifty storm troopers shooting at three people from ten feet away, and nob ody ever gets hurt. Who's gonna believe this?" -George Lucas, 1976 "Stormtrooper Tactics 101: Okay class, repeat after me. 'There he is! Blast em!' Very good." "Computers will never replace books. You can't stand on floppy disk to reach a h igh shelf." "It really has to do with learning," Lucas says, "Children teach you compassion. They teach you to love unconditionally. Anakin can't be redeemed for all the pa in and suffering he's caused. He doesn't right the wrongs, but he stops the horr or. The end of the Saga is simply Anakin saying, I care about this person, regar dless of what it means to me. I will throw away everything that I have, everythi ng that I've grown to love- primarily the Emperor- and throw away my life, to sa ve this person. And I'm doing it because he has faith in me; he loves me despite all the horrible things I've done. I broke his mother's heart, but he still car es about me, and I can't let that die. Anakin is very different in the end. The thing of it is: The prophecy was right. Anakin was the chosen one, and he does b ring balance to the Force. He takes the one ounce of good still left in him and destroys the Emperor out of compassion for his son." And, really, what more can you ask of any character? (or person, if you want to get into RL) How many past mistakes can honestly be fixed without traveling back in time? Apologies and requests for forgiveness are important, but I think ther e are times when it is more significant to simply act on convictions. It's about moving forward instead of dwelling on the past. There was no way that Anakin could ever is life, but he made darn sure it would ue "parent" mode, notice that he didn't , but instead on telling Luke to get to ter word) his sister. make ammends for the past 20+ years of h never happen to anybody else. And, in tr waste his final breaths on "I'm sorry's" safety and to comfort (for lack of a bet --George Lucas, The Making Of ROTS, Page 221 "There are NO innocent victims. If you're living on this planet, you're guilty. Next case. Next. ****ing. Case." -George Carlin Good thing redemption doesn't entail 'making up for anything'. As has been stated numerous times in this thread, you can never take back things you did. You did them, and you can't undo them. You lie once. No matter how many truths you tell afterwards won't wipe that lie away. Redemption is more akin to saying 'no, I'm going to stop this, and turn my life around'. You can never take away misdeeds. No one's keeping a score card and watching you r checks and balances. But you CAN say 'no more'. I think in the case of real child murderers, it's the same deal. Each person is unique. We as a society have a right to punish these people for the benefit of p ublic safety and as a deterence, but we can't really judge what the soul of the person is made of. That's the kind of thing that's gauged between man and God. I t's the one thing every single one of us has to face alone and there's no foolin g yourself. People can fake redemption or even innocence but that person knows t he truth deep inside, and no one can ever change that fact "Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that crap." - George Carlin "You ever run a guy over? Then you panic? and run him over again? Then, you driv e away and run him over a 3rd time?" - George Carlin Good people are good because they've come to wisdom through failure. We get very little wisdom from success, you know. -William Saroyan It is in vain to expect our prayers to be heard, if we do not strive as well as pray. -Aesop IAN MCDIARMID Execute order 66. CLONE TROOPER Kill all shrieking CGI creatures. (to his troops) Alright men, shoot down the giant Iguana. IAN MCDIARMID Oh, and order 67. CLONE TROOPER Jedi, too. Got it. Our deaths follow us everywhere, and no arguing, no end can change that. et, death may be the greatest of all the more richer if you know that one d leave it all behind. claim us when the time is right. No reason, We are all doomed that path to tread. And y human blessings. Everything in life is all day, no matter who you are, you will die an Harry Potter and the Defiance of the Hero This is how it feels to be Anakin Skywalker, forever: The first dawn of light in your universe brings pain. The light burns you. It will always burn you. Part of you will always lie upon black glass sand beside a lake of fire while flames chew upon your flesh. You can hear yourself breathing. It comes hard, and harsh, and it scrapes nerves already raw, but you cannot stop it. You can never stop it. You cannot even slow it down. You don?t even have lungs anymore. Mechanisms hardwired into your chest breathe for you. They will pump oxygen into your bloodstream forever. Lord Vader? Lord Vader, can you hear me? And you can?t, not in the way you once did. Sensors in the shell that prisons your head trickle meaning directly into your brain. You open your scorched-pale eyes; optical sensors integrate light and shadow into a hideous simulacrum of the world around you. Or perhaps the simulacrum is perfect, and it is the world that is hideous. Padme? Are you here? Are you all right? you try to say, but another voice speaks for you, out from the vocabulator that serves you for burned-away lips and tongue and throat. ?Padme? Are you here? Are you all right?? I?m very sorry, Lord Vader. I?m afraid she died. It seems in your anger, you killed her. This burns hotter than the lava had. ?No? no, it is not possible!? You loved her. You will always love her. You could never will her death. Never. But you remember? You remember all of it. You remember the dragon that you brought Vader forth from your heart to slay. You remember the cold venom in Vader?s blood. You remember the furnace of Vader?s fury, and the black hatred of seizing her throat to silence her lying mouth- And there is one blazing moment in which you finally underStand that there was no dragon. That there was no Vader. That there was only you. Only Anakin Skywalker. That it was all you. Is you. Only you. You did it. You killed her. You killed her because, finally, when you could have saved her, When you could have gone away with her, when you could have been thinking about her, you were thinking about yourself? It is in this blazing moment that you finally understand the trap of the dark side, the final cruelty of the Sith ? Because now, your self is all you will ever have. And you rage and scream and reach through the Force to crush the shadow who has destroyed you, but you are so far less now than what you were, you are more than half machine, you are like a painter gone blind, a composer gone deaf, you can remember where the power was but the power you can touch is only a memory, and so with all your world-destroying fury it is only droids around you that implode, and equipment, and the table on which you were strapped shatters, and in the end, you cannot touch the shadow. In the end, you do not even want to. In the end, the shadow is all you have left. Because the shadow understands you, the shadow forgives you, the shadow gathers you unto itselfAnd withing your furnace heart, you burn in your own flame. This is how it feels to be Anakin Skywalker. Forever... Padme walks in while he is on the PSP... Padme: "What are you doing?" Anakin: "trying to beat obi-wans score." *screen flashes* "game over" Anakin: "I HATE YOU Obi-Wan!" the true fall to the darkside Severence Tien: If anyone is drawn to my cause , I will do my best not to endang er them. Sagacious Zu: Your best may not be enough. That is why it is so often used as co mfort after failure." You tried your best, but death consumed the nation anyway. Sorry" Sagicious Zu: The sides of the coming conflict seem very well defined. That will not always be the case. It is sometimes difficult to see the truth behind the a ctions of others. - Jade Empire My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes. -Ronald Reagan "I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters." -- Solomon Short "And she disciplines me! She disciplines me real good... five times a day! With bricks! And a pillowcase..." "The deepest definition of youth is life as yet untouched by tragedy." - Alfred North Whitehead "Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." - Erma Bombeck "I have three things I'd like to say today. First, while you were sleeping last night, 30,000 kids died of starvation or diseases related to malnutrition. Secon d, most of you don't give a shit. What's worse is that you're more upset with th e fact that I said shit than the fact that 30,000 kids died last night." - Pastor Tony Campolo "I support the death penalty for spammers." - Michael Wong "It's too bad that stupidity isn't painful" - Anton LaVey "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and th rough me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. W here the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." - Frank Herbert's Dune, Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear I would not live forever because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever , which is why I would not live forever -Miss Alabama,1994 Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of congress.But I repea t myself. -Mark Twain "Oh, that's him. Tom Hanks. Anything he says is funny!" Tom Hanks-"I have AIDS..." "Hahahahahah!" "Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; it is not il lmannered, or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, and patience never fail. Love is eternal." There are many things across Existence that are beyond explanation. There are ma ny things in our own world that refuse explanation. Some, mankind think they hav e explained, but more often than not we are wrong.... Take war, for example. The wiser we get the greater the chance that our weapons, made for defence, will completely and utterly annihilate us from the face of this world. And yet we bu ild bigger weapons, leave the old tools of mass destruction rotting in undergrou nd storage houses for the rust, and form more final battle plans. Where is the explanation in that? Where is the right in keeping enough weapons t echnology on the surface of this world, and above it, that at any moment we coul d simply all be destroyed? One button pressed, and there will be nothing but a b arren, lifeless world, smouldering with smoking craters and whispered thoughts o f good intentions. And yet, those in power think this can be explained or justified! But that is wh en it comes back to the true nature of war. Remember this, and remember it well: Nothing is ever resolved without war. It is the way of the universe. And we are not alone on our small planet in this universe. Imagine, for a moment, that our world was under threat from an extraterrestrial force. Imagine that we were invaded by aliens, hell bent on wiping us off this w orld and making it their own. Would our ticking time bomb of weapons be justified then? Perhaps.... But go further and realise the final implications of this. An intelligent, senti ent life ? something equal to or greater than our own, and they have come to des troy us ? to take our home by force. It would be one of the greatest days in human history, and for one reason.... It would be on this day, as we faced a threat out of this world, that we would f inally realise, without a doubt and any preamble, that we are all one species on this planet. We are all human, and our petty differences over race or perspecti ve were pointless. Mankind would know world peace on the day their greatest threat descended from t he heavens. It would be extraordinary. All our weapons of mass destruction, aime d at the heart of foreign nations, would no longer be needed to protect our bord ers ? but our entire world as one. We would be one species on this planet. Humanity as a whole, and if it was our f ate to go down to this alien aggressor, then we would go down as one, and we wou ld go down with our guns blazing. Remember: Nothing is ever resolved without war. It is the way of the universe. Q: What were Davie Crockett's last words as he stood at the gates of the Alamo? A: Holy S***! Where the f*** did all of these landscapers come from? "Saddam's palaces all have a dolphin pool and an amusement park.If you didn't th ink this guy was creepy before,now he's starting to sound like Michael Jackson." "In a bizarre move, Saddam Hussein has released all prisoners being held in jail s. Isn't that amazing? Iraq has prisoners that are still alive." Nothing of what you said to me was real And you still can't find the strength to apologize You just go on laughing and telling everyone lies Brother:"What's the date?" Mom:*absent-mindedly*"When?" Brother:0_0 We all just stared. For five minutes. Didn't say a word. Let us so live that when we come to die, even the undertaker will be sorry. -Mark Twain I have tried and I cannot find, either in Scripture or in history, a strong-will ed individual whom God used greatly until He allowed them to be hurt deeply. -Charles Swindoll Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rab bit. -R.E. Shay Democracy: Two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. Representative democracy: Two thousand wolves and one thousand sheep electing tw o wolves and a sheep who vote on what to have for dinner. Constitutional republic: Two thousand wolves and one thousand sheep electing two wolves and a sheep who vote on what to have for dinner, but are restricted by a Constitution that says they cannot eat sheep. The Supreme Court then votes 5 wo lves to 4 sheep that mutton does not count as sheep. Liberty: Well-armed sheep contesting the above votes. We should not ask whether God is on our side but whether we are on his -Abraham Lincoln People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figur e out which it is, you'll know exactly what to do. -Michelle Ventor Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. -Jose Addison Other person: Hey, what are we supposed to do? Me: Sacrifice a small goat to your pagan gods. Guess whos the goat. If a guy has been betrayed and dumped by the woman he loves... what good is frie ndship going to do? ... If he still loves her, despite what she's done to him, then all it's going t o do is remind him of how he can't be with her in the way that he wants and how much he misses her... And if he hates her for what she's done, he wouldn't want to be friends anyway, with someone that hurts him so easily, without a thought... making the last year and a half of a relationship seem wasted and meanlingless... So much seemed baring em piss time, emotions, money, invested in someone that didn't really care, just to. so much of one's self invested in a relationship that was pointless. your soul, sharing yourself completely with another person and having th on you for your trouble. Future hopes destroyed, dreams ruined, memories sullied... All that's left... pain, loneliness, and the feeling of being betrayed and un-lo ved by anyone in the world. Great. Now let's be friends. (God accidently sets woman/bar on fire) "Jesus Christ!" (jesus enters scene) "What is it?" "Get in the Escalade we're outta here!" Teahouse Bartender:"When one's foot knows what one's hand is doing one is danger ous; But if the belly button hasn't been consulted, havoc will ensue" PC: "What does that mean?" TB: "I have absolutely no idea "I spent all my allowence on Yu-Gi-Oh trading cards and meat flavoured bubble-gu m!" "Oh, my angel!" -Red vs. Blue, Mother's Day Special "Look what I found!" "I Found It!" "Look at what I took credit for finding! -Red vs. Blue, Episode 44 "We're planting a volleyball..." "It's not a ball. It's a bomb" "We're planting a volleybomb?" -Red vs. Blue, Episode 47 "Your sure it was Lopez?" "Well, I heard screaming in Spanish, and bullets flying through the air. So eith er that was Lopez, or this is Mexican New Year." -Red vs Blue. Episode 49 " All right, that's it I quit I'm gonna go live in a cave..." -Red vs. Blue, Episode 50 "I am so happy that you made it in time to die with me. We will get to be smithe reens together." -Red vs. Blue, Episode 52 " Time...line? Time isn't made out of lines....it is made out of circles. That i s why clocks are round!" -Red vs. Blue, Episode 53 "As long as everyone is calm and peaceful, and there's nothing else to make us e xcited...I don't care" ( Explosion hits nearby) "Ha ha ha, attack my robot legions!" "....I can almost feel that coming...right as I finished the sentence...." -Red vs. Blue, Episode 56 Having just challenged the entire world, Harry decided he was in need of somethi ng to eat, and reappeared thousands of miles away from the IC near Fiji, in Lond on, one of the places he knew best. - Harry Potter and the Soul of the Hero Discipline is the key to life. - Major Ballard I'm VERY matu... Hey, BOOBIES!! " You know that is a remarkable resemblence Brad. You, on your back, in the wate r. You look like one of my STOOLS!" - Stewie, Family Guy: the Movie " Now get over to Caboose and help him hold that position" "I don't have a gun, I am a pacifist" "Well then just get over there and yell Bang bang bang!" - Red v. Blue, Episode 21 "All right blues...first off...we want your flag..." "W-w-wait just a second. The last time we got the flag the chick in the black ar mor showed up." "To stay right where it is." -Red vs. Blue, Episode 22 (Griff is screaming no the entire time.) " Uhh, go up there and get him Simmons." "If he keeps screaming like that, he's gonna pass out and fall off the cliff." "Cancel that order Simmons.......Donut get me a sniper rifle" "Yesss sir" -Red vs.Blue, Episode 58 This is a test of the emergency announcement system. It is only a test. Had this been an actual emergency, you would be rolling around on the ground on fire. Th ank you It is so funny listening to this ignorant sap speak next to someone as well spok en as Mike Myers. Seriously did anyone expect anything better from a HipHop sing er? I mean half their music is racist towards whites anyways. I like how he talk s about those are his people down there, as if New Orleans were the only place t o be affected by this hurricane. White family's will lose more in this hurricane then blacks will anyways. The only reason you have so much attention on New Orl eans is because their dumbass mayor, who is black btw, did not use their public transportation or thousands of school buses to get the poor out after a mandator y evacuation was declared. Also what the fuck is he talking about when he talks about they were given permission to shoot his people? Is he talking about the lo oting, murdering, raping thugs that are shooting at vehicles that are trying to save his people? Those people should be shot dead. There was enough food and sup plies in that city to provide for a week easily if it was rationed out correctly . As far as this forum goes its pretty damn sad that all the racism towards whit es goes unnoticed while anyone being racist towards blacks gets an auto ban. But hey thats just like real life American society. Every white person must have wh ite guilt and accept any negativity towards there race, while blacks can have pr ide in there own race and hate others and it is acceptable. Sorry for being so l ong, I just have to vent sometimes when stupid shit like this is brought up. Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass tha t's twice as big as it needs to be. - George Carlin We make war that we may live in peace - Aristotle No one can make you feel inferior without your consent - Eleanor Roosevelt Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation - Oscar Wilde "It requires more courage to suffer than to die." "Sometimes even to live is an act of courage." The thing always happens that you really believe in; and the belief in a thing m akes it happen. -Frank Lloyd Wright Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience. -Victoria Holt The best antidote I have found is to yearn for something. As long as you yearn, you can't congeal: There is a forward motion to yearning. -Gail Godwin Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know w hat you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. -Steve Jobs I can't give you a sure-fire formula for success, but I can give you a formula f or failure: Try to please everybody all the time. -Herbert Bayard Swope Wars may be fought with weapons, but they are won by men. It is the spirit of me n who follow and of the man who leads that gains the victory. -George S. Patton I have always believed that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value. -Hermann Hesse "But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanit y to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?" -Mark Twain "My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if no t, you'll become a philosopher." -Socrates "The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender." -Vince Lombardi The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes. -Winston Churchill You desire to know the art of living, my friend? It is contained in one phrase: make use of suffering. -Henri Fr?d?ric Amiel "The price of greatness is responsibility" - Winston Churchill "There is nothing more complicated in the universe than the United States tax sy stem" -Albert Einstien "History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon." -Napoleon Bonaparte "Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, ho nest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then - we elected them." <--- Lily Tomlin Nancy Astor - You're drunk. Churchill - And you're ugly. But in the morning, I shall be sober. Sometimes when we are generous in small, barely detectable ways it can change so meone else's life forever. -Margaret Cho Always do the thing you fear the most. Courage is an aquired taste, like caviar. -Erica Jong " They will all taste oblivion....which tastes just like Red Bull...which is dis gusting" -Red vs. Blue Episode 36 "Absolutley...He has not tried to bite me, at all" (covenant elite roars) "Since he but me the first time." Red vs. Blue, Episode 61 "If you love someone, let them go. If they return to you, it was meant to be. If they don't, their love was never yours to begin with..." "I mean, if a series of images doesn't involve three asians in schoolgirl unifor ms, four black men and two head of cattle; it's barely even "porn" these days. " Cold was my soul and untold was the pain I faced when you left me; a rose in the rain. "I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self." Ya never know... Loneliness is truly a state of mind. There is always at least o ne person, hidden before your eyes that is trying their best to relieve you of t his epidemic. Open your eyes and let them. There is no greatness. Only the loneliness and bitterness of a man who stands al one, and will stand alone forever P.A.N.I.C.S. - People Acting Normal in Crazy-ass Situations the speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by t he time needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom sh outs "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING" "I'm starting to like this culture though. Any dude who trips is a hero. I'm pre tty sure that makes Caboose God" Red vs. Blue, Episode 64 "...the death toll may be in the hundreds of millions. Beaverton has only a popu lation of about 8,000 so this would be quite devistating." - South Park "Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat." -John Lehman, Secretary of the Navy 1981-1987 " " " " " Oh I liked them. They were funny." Caboose, they tried to kill you because of a flag." I try not to remember the bad things about people." That's all they tried to do. There were no good things!" That's okay... I have a really bad memory...wow, look a beach!" - Red vs. Blue, Episode 47 " Will you promise to help me clean my armor?" "How about I promise to help you clean it, but then just convince Donut to do it later" Red vs. Blue, Episode 65 " Oh up yours..." "What was that!..." " Up yours, sir" "That's better!" Red vs. Blue, Episode 65 Rank is no guarantee of honorable conduct. "It's not dying that hurts ... only the pain." ( on the hunt for Osama Bin Laden) "... I know this. He is a 6'5 arab on dialysis....why is that so fucking hard to find?" - Robin Williams You're asking how "bad" Nudity will be in a game that feature scalping and peopl e getting their head/limbs blown to bits? Why does nudity in america have to be a "bad" thing? Personally I'd think violen ce would be worse the nudity, seems a bit weird to think seeing someone getting killed is "better" then seeing a nude representation of natural human anatomy. If you fall either I fall with you or I'll catch you pull you back up. Success is blocked by concentrating on it and planning for it.?Success is shy ? it won't come out while you're watching. -Tennessee Williams "Some men are born great, some achieve greatness, some get it as a graduation gi ft." -Robin Williams Love is like a flower, even the most beautiful kind dies. - Till Lindemann Just because something hurts doesen't mean it's not supposed to be that way - Black Mage, 8 bit Theater, Episode 486 A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. -H. L. Mencken A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future. -Sidney J. Harris A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoe s. -Mark Twain There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. Love means telling you why you're sorry. The world needs anger. The world often continues to allow evil because it isn't angry enough. -Bede Jarrett Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop It takes a couple seconds to say Hello, but forever to say Goodbye. You don't die from a broken heart - you only wish you did. Love is giving someone the ability to hurt you but trusting them not to. "Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumble bee do esn't know it so it goes on flying anyway." "Life is wasted on the young." "The only true wisdom is knowing you know nothing." -Socrates "I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my ene mies ridiculous.' And God granted it." -Voltaire Crystals are like pretty daggers,give a woman enough of them and she can cut you r heart out Not only that, they deserve our respect because they are doing a job that they v olunteered for knowing that they might be injured or killed defending our countr y. Like I said earlier, I don't agree with the reasons for this war but I will s upport our troops that are fighting it because it's soldiers like them that gave me the right to post my opinions here or anywhere else. "Men of genius are admired. Men of wealth are envied. Men of power are feared. B ut only men of character are trusted." I enjoy filibusters. Maybe they will start reading from the phone book or someth ing, that would be entertaining. If I were doing it I'd just bring in the most r andom collection of reading materials ever. There's a different group to get pissed off at you in this country for everythin g your not supposed to say. Can't say Nigger, Boogie, Jig, Jigaboo, Skinhead, Mo olimoolinyon, Schvatzit, Junglebunny. Greaser, Greaseball, Dago, Guinea, Whop, G inzo, Kike, Zebe, Heed, Yid, Mocky, Himie, Mick, Donkey, Turkey, Limey, Frog. Zi p, Zipperhead, Squarehead, Crout, Hiney, Jerry, Hun, Slope, Slopehead, Chink, Go ok. There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of those words in and of themselv es. Their only words. It's the context that counts. It's the user. It's the inte ntion behind the words that makes them good or bad. The words are completely neu tral. The words are innocent. I get tired of people talking about bad words and bad language. Bullshit! It's the context that makes them good or bad. The contex t. That makes them good or bad. For instance, you take the word "Nigger." There is absolutely nothing wrong with the word "Nigger" in and of itself. It's the ra cist asshole who's using it that you ought to be concerned about. We don't mind when Richard Pryer or Eddie Murphy say it. Why? Because we know their not racist . Their Niggers! Context. Context. We don't mind their context because we know t heir black. Hey, I know I'm whitey, the blue-eyed devil, paddy-o, fay gray boy, honkey, mother-fucker myself. Don't bother my ass. Their only words. You can't b e afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth, like t he fact that there's a bigot and a racist in every living room on every street c orner in this country. - George Carlin Join the Legion. See the world. Freeze your arse. Cold, wet, no sun, ugly women. Yeah. This is some paradise all right. Spyder - If we don't make it, I want everyone to know that it has been an honor to serve with you. Maestro - Man, lighten up, Spyder. We're not gonna die, we are going to win ! Zero - Maestro, if you die can we pick through your stuff before we get back to sol ? Maestro - You can burn in hell ! The one important thing I have learned over the years is the difference between taking one's work seriously and taking one's self seriously. The first is impera tive, the second is disastrous. -Margot Fonteyn Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure." - Ross MacDonald People put the Holocaust in a bad light all the time. I actually think that the newly elected President of the Islamic Republic of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, wa s the most high profile holocaust denier of last month. Where were the car bombs of Mosques by octogenarian Holocaust survivors? Where was the gunfire shutting down Islamic Embassies? Where was the random violence and kidnapping of Middle E asterners? That?s the thing. When Holocaust survivors here stuff like the things President Ahmadinejad says, they go out and do things that win them nobel prize s so that people can know and never forget the truth about them and the lives th ey've led. They get amazingly offended I'd imagine, but their dignity and grace silences their offenders. I dont see the double standard. Jews hate the offenses they receive, radical Islam does too, but the difference is in how they react t o it; radical Islam sees a cartoon and they?ve got to at the very least burn som ething. That?s what I took from the illustrations collectively (Mohamed?s bomb turban an d the jitter illustrator shaking while drawing at his work place in particular), that Islam does not react well to criticism or even light roasting and that peo ple shouldn?t bend to this imaginary right to not be offended. The papers were r ight to publish the cartoons because no matter what, they?ve got a right to free speech and no one not even religion, be it Judaism, Christianity, or Islam, hav e the right to not be offended. Now if the papers give offense they?ve got to ac cept the consequences but that?s the cost of exercising liberties liberally. How ever, burning, explosion, assault, and death, shouldn?t be one of those conseque nces. The real story to these cartoons I think isn?t really the pictures themselves, i t?s the reaction to them, especially the ones from Islamic leaders and organizat ions that called for the Danish to censor the newspaper and sanctions against De nmark for not doing so. Even if the pictures are offensive, I think it shows tha t they didn?t get the overall purpose of the posters, which wasn?t really to ins ult, just to get us thinking about free speech. "I once asked Axl why he left the 'E' off his name. He started crying and said h e thought he'd spelled it right." MY GLASS MAY BE HALF FULL BUT IT'S CRACKED Jesus god. Get off my internet "Now listen up! Back in my day, we didn't have fancy tanks! We had sticks. Two s ticks and a rock for the entire platoon! And we had to share the rock! You shoul d consider yourself very lucky marines!" If I had one wish it would be to have no reason to make one. "I love sleep...my life has a tendency to fall apart when I'm awake." Spiteful words can hurt your feelings, but silence breaks your heart But finally, after all the tears, Ive drowned After all the cuts, blood still runs down The distance between us is hurting; my heart seared, But the closeness was what really killed me, what I really feared life without love is just a clock ticking How fucking anal do you have to be for the English to go: "Get the fuck out!" "T ake your pimp shoes and go!" India has the bomb. Pakistan has the bomb, and we're preparing to fight over Kas hmir, and your fucking president probably thought it was a sweater. What an assh ole! You realize how drunk they get, they could wear a skirt and not care! And only they could invent a sport like golf. Here's my idea for a fucking sport. I knock a ball in a gopher hole. - Like pool? - Fuck off pool. Not with a straight stick, with a little fucked up stick. I whack a ball, it goes in a gopher hole. - Oh, you mean like croquet? - Fuck croquet! I put the hole hundreds of yards away. Oh, fuck of ya ! Big fun, yeah! - Oh, like a bowling thing? - Fuck no! Not straight. I put shit in the way. Like trees and bushes and high grass. So you can lose you fucking ball. And go hacking away with a fucking tire iron. Whacking away, and each time you miss you feel like you'll have a stroke. Fuck that's what we'll call it, a stroke, cause each time you miss you feel like you're gonna fucking die. Oh great, oh and here's the better part. Fuck, this is brilliant! Right near the end, I'll put a little flat piece with a little flag to give you fucking hope. But then I'll put a little pool and a sand box, to fuck with your ball again. Ay, you'll be there cracking you ass, jacking away in the sand. - And you do this one time? - Fuck no! fucking times! That's my idea of a sport! I just bought a new car stereo... When you shout out "Soul", it plays soul music . When you shout out "Rock", it plays rock music. Some kids ran in front of my c ar, and I shouted "fucking kids!", and it played Michael Jackson. As for Michael Moore, he is one of the finest fantasy writers and movie director s of our time. Poverty dosn't force individuals to commit crime. There are plenty of poor peopl e who don't go out on drive-by's, shooting at little kids' birthday parties. Jus tifying crime under the pretext of "Poverty" allows us to escape personal respos ibility for one's actions "If loving you is wrong, I don't wanna be right." "Behind this smile is everything you'll never understand." "Life is just one damned thing after another." You shelter a Water Demon :Very quiet and cunning, the water demon is one of the cruelest and most destructive demons once provoked : he awaits in the shadows t he opportunate moment to strike and then, either with the force of a raging sea or the sharpness of a knife, he stabs the most sensible part of the target. Alth ough he will not wake up if unecessary. Then he will show a calm and gentle imag e of himself Albert Einstein once said "As long as there is man, there will be war". This is one of the truest statements I have ever heard. As long as humans walk this plan et there will always be someone trying to conquer, there will always be someone trying to kill, and there will always be someone trying to destroy a certain way of life. For example, Hitler trying to eradicate the Jews, or in todays world R adical Muslims trying to destroy the American way of life. What are you supposed to do in those situations, stand around and allow yourself or your way of life to be killed? I highly doubt it. Everyone has something they would fight for, ev eryone has one reason or another that they would go to war. The biggest reason w e fight and die is so other people can live, in peace. If I had a choice of risk ing death in a war that would help secure my family's future or allowing some op pressor to take away our way of life and future, I choose to fight. "We sleep soundly in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm." - George Orwell There are three ways to defeat your enemy. The first, and most obvious, is to be tter him in a trial of force. The best way is to have him destroy himself . . . The middle way is to destroy your enemy from within. Judicious application of th e middle way shall make your blows more effective if you later take the way of f orce. From the middle way it is also possible to push your enemy onto the path o f self-destruction. Line of battle The most basic unit in the Imperial Navy was a line of battle, or simply a line. The Imperial Starfleet shaped four to twenty starships into lines, depending on the type of line. Commanded by a captain of the line, the line was the most amo rphous level of organization in the Starfleet. The Imperial Starfleet Order of B attle outlined five types of lines: attack, heavy attack, reconnaissance, pursui t, and skirmish. Attack and heavy attack lines aggressively engaged enemy starsh ips in combat, reconnaissance lines gathered intelligence of the disposition of enemy forces, pursuit lines chased and trapped retreating enemies, and skirmish lines harassed capital starships and engaged enemy picket lines. You'd think people would be a little more tolerant of others in this day and age . I gues stupidity and ignorance will never go out of style. " It's quiet, too quiet...(shot goes past his ear) now suddenly it's too loud. I preferred it when it was quiet. - Red vs. Blue episode 74 30 Things Guys Want Girls To Know #1-We're not as perverted as you think we all are. #2-No matter what YOU say, your ex-boyfriend IS a LOSER. #3- We like you to give us hugs and kisses sometimes too. #4-Don't argue with us when we call you beautiful. #5-Don't treat us like crap, what goes around comes around. #6-We know you're pretty, that's one of the reason's we're going out with you. #7- Don't go into detail about your period. It scares us. #8- If you have cramps and we ask you what's wrong, just tell us it's that time of the month and nothing more. #9-If you really liked us for us, you would let us think that our mustache, bear d, or sideburns looked cool. #10-We never shave our legs. So get over it. #11-NEVER ask us if you can put makeup on us. It's just wrong............ #12-Don't make bets about us, because one of your friends will tell us, if you d on't. #13-When we tell you that you're not fat, believe us. #14-We absolutely do not care about the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, 98 Degrees, or what any other guy looks like for that matter. #15-We may not be able to pee accurately all of the time, but at least we can st and up and go pee. #16-Just cause you think you're always right, doesn't mean that you don't have t o apologize when you do something "wrong." #17-You expect us to say and do sweet things for you, but it would be nice if yo u did the same every once in a while. We like to know that you love us. #18-We can't always be spontaneous, so try to help us make the plans sometimes. #19-Don't ask us to beat up another guy for you, cause you might get what you wi sh for. #20-Never kick us in the nuts "just to see what we would say". That's just mean. #21-Never pretend like you are going to break up with us and laugh when we belie ve you. #22-Pamela Anderson's boobs aren't fake anymore, but we like yours better anyway . #23-Size doesn't matter, except two idiots who don't want a relationship. #24-PMS is not an excuse. #25-If you want us to put the seat down when we're done, you should put it up wh en you're done. #26-........... Don't tell us how cute your ex-boyfriend was. That doesn't turn us on. #27-And always remember: The way to a guys heart is through his stomach..... and maybe....oh nevermind. #28-NEVER ask us to kiss other guys. You might be that comfy with your friends, but to us it's just wrong. #29-We always notice how funny it is after your rip out our heart, stick it down our throat and still want to be friends. #30-And last but not least: We know you're not always right, but we'll pretend l ike you are anyway. " The capacity for good or evil, like the force itself, is in all living creatur es. And belonging to the Jedi Order, or the Sith, or an group, won't change what you are at your core." "Corruption" is a word the pitiful use to describe the natural longing for power that they deny. "Evil" is a word trumpeted by the weak to ease their heart. Conflict forces one to better oneself. It forces change, growth, adaptation...ev olution...or death. They are not our laws but the universes. Without conflict yo u only have stagnation. Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae. Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition. -T. Leary Surgery of the heart has probably reached the limits set by Nature to all surger y. No method, no new discovery, can overcome the natural difficulties that atten d a wound of the heart. -Stephen Paget, English Surgeon 1896 In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back. -Charlie Brown Rule through the fear of force rather than through force itself - The Tarkin Doctrine In life, there is no such thing as a happy ending. Who Cares If a soldier dies Take a man and put him alone, Put him twelve thousand miles from home. Empty his heart of all but blood, Make him live in sand, in mud. This is the life I have to live, This the soul to God I give. You have your parties and drink your beer, While young men are dying over here. Plant you signs on the white house lawn: "Lets get out of Iraq". Use you signs and have your fun, Then refuse to use a gun. There's nothing else for you to do, Then I'm supposed to die for you? There is one thing that you should know, And that's where I think you should go! I'm already here and it's too late. I've traded all my love for all this hate. I'll hate you till the day I die. You made me hear my buddy cry, I saw his leg and this blood shed, Then I heard them say, "This one's dead". It was a large price for him to pay, To let you live another day. He had the guts to fight and die, To keep the freedom you live by. By his dying, your life he buys, But who gives a damn if a soldier dies. The wise only seek attention when capable of dealing with it -Jade Empire "Being in a nudist colony probably takes all the fun out of Halloween." "There is no inherent villany in any martial action, only in the hearts who wiel ded them. If you rely too much on simple force, then you cannot act without it" - Jade Empire Never think of anything as being obvious. Always leave a little room for doubt, because doubt in turn leaves room for precautions.? I sometimes feel that magic is not just waving your wand and making things fly a round or conjuring things. No, what is truly magical is having someone care for you for who you are. What?s magical is someone spending years at something to be come the best that they can be. Someone overcoming all their shortcomings to fin d their own place in this world. What?s magical is that you live your life in su ch a manner that it inspires others around you. So no, you may not be able to do magic, but nothing can stop you from being magical Living well is the best revenge. What would Jesus do if he were on cadre? - Professor Leland Maybe I don't know what my future is, but to try and pick out the pieces and dec ipher what it is won't help me out in the slightest. I just have to live day by day, hoping that when I look back on all of this, I can say I did it right. Leadership isn't about getting to the top. It's about Curahee, we stand alone t ogether. - MSGT Burnette If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunction al family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five m inutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.' - Jeff Foxworthy I can't promise you that I will bring you all home alive, but this I swear : I w ill be the first one to set foot on the field, and I will be the last to step of f. And I will leave no one behind. Dead, or alive, we all come home together - We Were Soldiers "What you would call hell; I've come to call home. So go and drink your alcohol, party like there's no tomorrow, sleep half the day, skip class, because when th e day is done we can say all this; While you were drinking, I was pushing, While you were partying, I was running, While you were asleep, I was getting hazed, W hile you were eating, I was getting screamed at, While you were studying, I was studying harder, While you're complaining, I m sucking it up, pushing on. But yo u know what? At the end of the day, when I am exhausted from the abuse I have ta ken and look ahead with no end in sight, I know that you have enjoyed yourself a ll the time, and I can accept it. Because I know, I have taken the road less tra veled." "It is not enough for me to succeed. I must see all others fail." -Genghis Khan "You have enemies? Good. That means you stood up for something, sometime in your life" - Winston Churchill. When you come to the end of all the light you know, and it's time to step into t he darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things shall happen : Either you will be given something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. - Edward Teller "The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway." - Mother Tersea. "We all lose friends...we lose them in death, to distance and over time. But eve n though they may be lost, hope is not. The key is to keep them in your heart, a nd when the time is right, you can pick up the friendship right where you left o ff. Even the lost find their way home when you leave the light on." -Amy Marie Walz ?I think of you often and make no outward show, But what it means to lose you, no one will ever know You wished no one farewell, not even said good-bye, You were gone before I knew it, and only God knows why. You are not forgotten nor will you ever be, As long as life and memories last, I will remember thee. To some you may be forgotten, to others a part of the past, But to me who loved you dearly, your memories will always last. Nothing can be more beautiful than the memories I have of you. To me, you were someone special, God must have thought so too! If tears could build a staircase and memories a lane, I would walk all the way to Heaven, and bring you back again,? - Anon ?Three billion people on the face of the earth go to bed hungry every night, but four billion people go to bed every night hungry for a simple word of encourage ment and recognition.? -Cavett Robert ?Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths pure theatre." - Gail Godwin ?Toys tossed on the floor Hand prints on the wall Slamming of the door And footsteps down the hall Boxes made into towers Covers turned into tents Voices get a lil' louder Guide lines get a lil' bent Boxes now go untouched Covers in a folded pile Silence never was so much Guide lines never been n' awhile Did we waste our time a way We once had back then Never taking time to play To 'oft we walked right past them Now they're grown and gone The house stands still and neat Only memories left to carry on Oh, how our hearts do often weep Would we change time if we could Would we play a bigger part Did we get to wrapped up in the world For now we're left with just Memories of the heart.? -Gloria Babb ?There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the w ays in which you yourself have altered.? -Nelson Madela ?We are at the very beginning of time for the human race. It is not unreasonable that we grapple with problems. But there are tens of thousands of years in the future. Our responsibility is to do what we can, learn what we can, improve the solutions, and pass them on.? -Richard Feynman ?I decline to accept the end of man. It is easy enough to say that man is immort al simply because he will endure: that when the last dingdong of doom has clange d and faded from the last worthless rock hanging tideless in the last red and dy ing evening, that even then there will still be one more sound: that of his puny inexhaustible voice, still talking. I refuse to accept this. I believe that man will not merely endure: he will prevail. He is immortal, not because he alone a mong creatures has an inexhaustible voice, but because he has a soul, a spirit c apable of compassion and sacrifice and endurance. The poet's, the writer's, duty is to write about these things. It is his privilege to help man endure by lifti ng his heart, by reminding him of the courage and honor and hope and pride and c ompassion and pity and sacrifice which have been the glory of his past. The poet 's voice need not merely be the record of man, it can be one of the props, the p illars to help him endure and prevail.? -William Faulkner If one feels the need of something grand, something infinite, something that mak es one feel aware of God, one need not go far to find it. I think that I see som ething deeper, more infinite, more eternal than the ocean in the expression of t he eyes of a little baby when it wakes in the morning and coos or laughs because it sees the sun shining on its cradle. - Vincent van Gogh "The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone sa id to themselves: 'I want to set those people over there on fire but I'm just no t close enough to get the job done' " -George Carlin Do we print this? Yes. Are you tricking me? Yes. In that case I'll print this. A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now, Class, I won 't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nucl ear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would yo u say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhausti on?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, sha kes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand. It takes 1,000 uh-huh's to make up for one oh shit. ?Every painful event that has happened to you either brought or will bring you a gift. Part of today is spent going into the pain to find that gift.? A photograph holds more than just pictures. It holds memories, it holds the forg otten faces of your loved ones or friends, and it holds emotion. When you look at someone, you can't tell their emotions. But in a photograph, th e emotions are frozen, and preserved forever. You can study it, and never find o ut what the person was thinking, or they can be read like a book. Sometimes, you see sadness or happiness, and somethimes you see hate or love. Sometimes both. But sometimes, just looking at the picture, you realize how much you miss the pe rson if he or she is gone. You can see their smiling faces and their sparkling e yes. And you can hope that you will see them again. Sometime . . . somewhere . . . maybe a meeting just by chance. But you can hope. And that's all you can do. Actions are born from choices, and those choices are what dictate what is light and dark You know you're at VMI: * Rat/4th Class Year* 1.) If it makes sense, you're doing it wrong. 2.)The girl next door is NOT hot. 3.)The sink doubles as a urinal. 4.) When every guy is a dyke, and it's accepted. 5.) When you have .5% girls, and that's too many. 6.) Whenever you drink water, it reminds you of something bad. 7.) You no longer realize how bad your room smells. 8.) When stuff you used to care about dosen't matter anymore. 9.) First names no longer apply. 10.) Homerotic jokes are completely acceptable, and encouraged, anytime, anywher e. 11.) Walking two miles to a McDonalds is worth it. 12.) Veiled death threats are totally acceptable, encouraged, and 99% of the tim e, not acted upon. 13.) Snowball fights are sanctioned by the faculty. 14.) The first toilet is never usable. 15.) 99% of the time number fourteen happens is because it's too disgusting to i magine who the hell did that to the toilet. 16.) The 1% of the time you do use the first toilet is because somone wrote some thing new on the stall door. 17.) The one day when someone comes in to inspect your room, it looks like compl ete shit. 18.) Your success in the military is relative to how much dust is not on your fl oor. (HR: Capt. Blakey) 19.) You have a giant rubber band in your room. 20.) Having a guy hit on you is perfectly normal. 21.) Knowing how to do advanced calculus is more important than how good a shot you are if you're commisioning. 22.) No one really cares when something goes bump in the night. 23.) Someone who yelled at you two months ago is now your best friend. 24.) Facebook is your life. 25.) Tuesday is Wednesday, Wednesday is Tuesday, Thursday is Monday, Friday is F riday. (HR: John McCain) 26.) Out of all the sports offered, the croquet team has the best record. 27.) Saturdays are boring as hell. 28.) You understand the true meaning of boredom. 29.) Burning things is fun. 30.) VMI has the power to alter time and space. 31.) Women with power abuse the hell out of it. 32.) The highlight of your day is getting a granola bar and a banana before you go to bed. *Third Class Year * 33.) Third Class Year sucks. 34.) Getting a giant coin flung at your head is the funniest thing to happen in awhile. 35.) Through a very complicated process, you figured out that the superintendent is gay...( if you are someone important, there is an explanation) 36.) When everything you do has a sexual connotation to it. 37.) Being on time means you're early. 38.) Knife fight! 39.) Every one has anger problems. 40.) Mood swings are a social norm. 41.) The best part of a football game is getting to sit down at half time. 42.) The future leaders of this country would rather make a ginger bread house t hey got from Walmart than go and do PT. 43.) Absolutley no one has a problem with number #42. 44.) Christmas Parade...boo... 45.) You have balanced something on your head at one point. 46.) Your Filipino roommate thinks he's an African woman (see #45). 47.) You're not really drunk, you've just embraced the craziness of it all. 48.) Popcicles in the TAC Hole. ( Once again, HR: Capt. Blakey) 49.) You no longer realize how much you curse. 50.) #49 is so fucking true. 51.) One roommate farts and it's disgusting. When the whole room farts it's the funniest thing in the world. 52.) The names Jenkins and Phillip have a completely new meaning to you. 53.) You are labeled with a mean nickname the first week and it sticks with you for the rest of your life. 54.) Christmas was last year. 55.) Singing BADLY to Christmas carols. 56.) The most comfortable thing in the world is a flattened matress on a piece o f wood...as a result, you can't sleep on anything else anymore. 57.) Spooning with 6 other guys in the woods is perfectly ok. 58.) Doing your best is frowned upon. 59.) Stealing is now known as tactically acquiring. 60.) Roommate yours phonics sucks at. 61.) Your phonics-impared roommate tries to legitimize his retardedness. 62.) Gummy Bears + bear traps = nonstop laughter. 63.) Don't turn your back on Dan Day is every day. 64.) Your best meals here give you horrible gas. 65.) Disgusting shit on the internet is made fun of in 5 minutes. 66.) You make a habit of drawing obscene shapes in the ground whenever it snows. 67.) ualuealuealeuale! 68.) Objects will randomly explode at various parts of the day, and no one reall y gives a damn about it. 69.) A few inches of snow will make a twenty year old man regress ten years. 70.) Guitar Hero is the solution to everything. 71.) You start talking to the radiator in your room...and it answers back. 72.) Innuinuating. 73.) You have to combine at least two words each day. 74.) Addendum to # 71: You named that radiator Shaniqua, after a PMSing black gi rl. 75.) The answer to everything ie either Yut, kill oorah, hoo-ah, or any non sens ical phrase to not include air power. 76.) Any day where you get to use your knife is a good day. 77.) Anything you learn here cannot be applied outside the Institute 78.) However, if you learn anything outside of the Institute, you can bring that in with no strings attached. 79.) The shower only comes in two temperatures; searing hot or freezing cold. 80.) AIDS, MRSA, and ADD always lead to hilarity. 81.) Distractions are everywhere...Cookies! 82.) Confusing this place with home every once in awhile brings you ever closer to wanting to kill yourself. 83.) Bringing common sense into a test generally gives you the wrong answer. 84.) You're underwear is longer than your shorts...and you're wearing tighty-whi ties. 85.) What is she going to do, bleed on me? 86.) When you're bored, you start shining stuff that has nothing to do with your uniform. 87.) The only incentive for you to give blood is to be able to sleep in the next day. 88.) Good economic policy includes killing babies. 89.) You have compared pubic hair lengths at some point in time. 90.) The counterforce to logic is laziness. 91.) You must come up with an extremely outlandish solution to an insanely easy problem. 92.) No one has a problem with #91. If you do have a problem, you are immediatly excommunicated. 93.) Getting your ass kicked every once in awhile is a sign that people like you . 94.) You don't need alcohol to look like you're wasted. 95.) Having a messy room means that your superiors will hate you. Do something o utrageously stupid and they will embrace you with open arms. 96.) You have learned how to cook by playing a stupid game on the internet. 97.) You have gotten a rule specifically made by something you did. 98.) You need five people to cut a slice of pizza. 99.) You use an injury gotten from something simple to claim that you tried to k ill yourself earlier. 100.) Your roommates will either help alleviate your troubles, or give you somet hing else to be pissed off at. *Second Class Year* 101.) Walking 100 yds to take a shower is worth it. 102.) When things start to make sense you freak out. 103.) You have to be some kind of retarded to go to a place like this. 104.) You go to your foreign language class to end up relearning english. 105.) You just came back from the hospital, and the only thing any one cares abo ut is that you're not wearing shoes. 106.) The daily upkeep of your everyday clothes requires multiple rubber bands, tape, and a safety pin. 107.) Your response to any stressful situation is to strain...even if you're not a Rat. 108.) You're only justification to get hurt is to be able to break a couple of r ules. 109.) Everything you do goes towards fighting Communism. (HR: COL Hutchings) 110.) One of the prerequisites to come here is to have watched Black Hawk Down.. .multiple times. 111.) If you weren't told to do so from either word of mouth or e-mail, then you don't have to do it. 112.) Common sense, isn't. 113.) If you're going to do something wrong, do it with style. 114.) Back in the Old Corps, there were only 150 Pokemon. 115.) Being called a little child is actually a compliment. 116.) Instead of getting standard military equipment, you get a camo Jansport Ba ckpack and a VHS tape. 117.) You don't need a reason to give someone a hug. 118.) Pizza is a major catalyst for mood change. 119.) You have hated your life at some point. 120.) You either freeze to death or blow yourself up. 121.) Good luck translates into, " You are so fucked." 122.) Random wild animals are a source of great entertainment, i.e turkeys and d eer. 123.) Every pumpkin you carve for Halloween must either be vomiting, be getting killed in an extremely horrible way, or have a penis somewhere. 124.) You have shown a 7-year old child how to set-up a mine. 125.) The few times something does make sense, the Institute has nothing to do w ith it. 126.) If it didn't make you want to kill yourself at some point it wasn't a hard workout. 127.) A potentially hazardous situation makes you laugh your ass off. 128.) Dangerous situations means it's a good time for ice cream. 129.) Nothing is ever cancelled...EVER. 130.) You get more enjoyment out of speculation than actually living life. 131.) The idea of getting shot at with rubber bullets makes you scared shitless. At the same time, it gives you a hard on. 132.) It always seems to rain at the most inoppurtune tim...oh what the fuck!? 133.) You're not surprised at all when something goes completely wrong. 134.) Christmas Parade...boo...again... 135.) A sign of a good party is when people have to call the police, the fire de partment and HAZMAT afterwards. 136.) 4 Floors, X amount of floor space, 12 bathrooms and there is only ONE roll of toilet paper. 137.) The worst part of the last four years was not being able to take a shit fo r that first week. 138.) Boredom leads to random acts of kindness...or stupidity. 139.) The best part about people playing Christmas Carols before bed is when the y play Haunakah songs. 140.) If it's stupid and completely retarded you'll do it just for the fact. 141.) Chapter IV Paragraph 3, Subsection Q in the Blue Book is about love. 142.) You lift weights so you can masturbate better. 143.) You managed to waste an entire night learning how to do yoga. 144.) The first thing you think about when returning from a break is how long it is until the next one. 145.) You've learned to appreciate the fact that 30 degrees is actually pretty w arm. 146.) You yell out personal information for everyone to hear...just because it's funny. 147.) You have to leave your room and go into another building to use the bathro om. 148.) You were apart of the biggest cock block ever. 149.) Two days off of furlough and a weeks worth of walking around in a circle s o we can do the real thing in front of fifty people. 150.) Band is a four letter word...wait... 151.) There are still dinosaurs around post. 152.) Single handedly changing the course of a morning nets you the lowest punis hment you can get. 153.) Spring cleaning is room bonding. 154.) Finding a 7 week old banana is a good icebreaker. 155.) Free pizza is a known cause for a stampede. 156.) The number one way to break an awkward moment is to look at porn. 157.) All of your equipment is made by blind people...or criminals. 158.) You've realized just how awesome the 90's were. 159.) Grenade->Grenada->carrot->Aruba->Kokomo? 160.) A good PT session is defined by how many rules you break and how many peop le you wake up. 161.) A snow day means you get out of class early. 162.) Definition of a snow day: a chance for you to talk about how everyone else doesn't have class today...with your teacher...in class...damn it all. 163.) Academics ALWAYS comes first...except for when they get in the way of mili tary and athletic events. 164.) You now make it a priority to do # 160 as much as possible. 165.) You know how I know you're gay..." You're dick tastes like ass!" 166.) You use Girl Scout cookies as a form of torture. 167.) Adding the word Gunny in front of anything automatically gives it 5 awesom eness points and 105% pure motivation. (i.e, Gunny Jeopardy, Gunny Geology, Gunn y News at 6.) 168.) When accessorizing, the first thing on your list is a knife. 169.) The first day back is a good oppurtunity for teachers to dump a shitload o f work on you. 170.) Band Aids, fuck yeah! 171.) The Goose step and the Nazi salute are always funny. 172.) You get married to prove to your roommates that you're not gay. 173.) Easter was last year. 174.) Literally raining on your parade is the happiest moment of your life. 175.) An appropriate response to the question, " What's for dinner?" is either M eh, Ugh, or a big dose of sardonic laughter. 176.) Things often happen at just the right moment. 177.) You remind yourself that there are some things you really don't want to kn ow the answer to. 178.) There is no such thing as a random question. 179.) The only people on Facebook at 7 in the morning are VMI cadets. 180.) Earth Day: A day for you to bring out the recycled forks, knives and spoon s to only watch them break at the slightest amount of pressure to then only thro w them away to rot in a landfill for a few years. 181.) The Benny Hill Theme song makes even the most mundane situations funny. 182.) A flesh eating virus and a flu pandemic are nothing compared to the Barrac ks Plague. 183.) Concerning water boarding: No, we don't water board people and we never ha ve...we're willing to try it out though to see what everyone's talking about. 184.) For every one emergency situation that comes up, you think of five differe nt ways that it could go horribly wrong. 185.) Emergency situation #1: In the event of a shooting, the entire corps will head to a building with numerous entrances by way of an extremely narrow flight of stairs, over an extremely narrow bridge. 186.) Emergency situation #2: In the event of an extremely over-hyped pandemic, the entire corps will use that pandemic as a punchline. 187.) ...I have a huge bottle of lotion! 188.) You make it a priority to yell random things at people as they walk by you r door. 189.) They have to make a rule outlawing CONSENSUAL torture. 190.) Pacman in barracks. 191.) If you wait until the last minute, it only takes a minute. (HR: Nick Cambe ll) *First Class Year* 192.) I kept losing lacrosse balls in the closet...wait, what? 193.) Masturbation is a self-bone. 194.) ...so I need to get on my knees when I wake you up in the morning? 195.) Nightly entertainment: watching your rat try to open a trashbag...and fail . 196.) 44 Urinals, 3 sinks, and 9 showers...what the fuck... 197.) You need a boner before you wake up. 198.) You look into your phone to get a number, and you tell your roommate to ca ll it instead of you. 199.) You spend a night "studying" finding out numerous ways to turn on a lamp. 200.) Frequent cursing, yelling, and witty remarks make for a great teacher. 201.) One of your professors got his doctorate approved by a terminally ill guy in a bathtub. 202.) You use the threat of killing your 8 year old kid as an analogy for intern ational politics. 203.) 15 People need to die in order for school to be cancelled. What the fuck. 204.) The best part of being a first classmen is that when you are unsure of wha t ice cream flavor is in the line, you can actually take a bite and taste it. 205.) The first thing anyone thinks of when they see someone with a hand injury is that they've been jerking off too much. 206.) Fuck cement trucks, can be an accurate description for a weekend. 207.) When a classroom is rearranged you are completely befuzzled by it. 208.) You have been asked why it is a bad idea to piss in the sink. 209.) Every Physics problem involves a VMI cadet doing commiting some act of vio lence. (i.e a vmi cadet jumps off a bridge, a vmi cadet throws a cocktail at Smi th Hall...) 210.) Rats: Making VMI easier since 1839. 211.) There is no North Korea or Chad. 212.) You were called genetically deficient by your professor. ( HR: Capt. Turne r) 213.) You've used a South Park reference to illustrate a fault in foreign policy . 214.) Any physics problem involving the military is automatically solved with a tacitical air strike. 215.) Addendum to #196: This is actually pretty useful after the post-drumout ba throom rush. 216.) If it doesn't make sense, it belongs at VMI. 217.) In-animate objects have a frequency to grow legs and walk away. (i.e Rat B ibles) 218.) Freshly shaved heads are a thing to be admired. 219.) Your first thought when waking up on a Monday morning is," Is it the weeke nd yet?" 220.) Graduation was last year. 221.) Kilbourne Hall is now known as Stillborn Hall. 222.) Impending danger is a good excuse to go streaking. 223.) The Great Barracks Fire of 09 Part II: Still No Fucking Danger. 224.) Showering with other guys: If you don't like it, you're gay. 225.) Dumplings and Coffee ice cream make for a good evening. 226.) It takes you twenty minutes to get to your car. 227.) Having sex with girls gets you in trouble. Having sex with a guy is perfec tly all right. 228.) You're getting consistently annoyed with the fact that everytime you want to show your roommate something cool you found on the internet, he had already s een it three weeks ago. 229.) The most motivating song you've ever heard in the weight room is "Party in the U.S.A" by Miley Cyrus. 230.) Twenty mintues before class is a lot of time to do something stupid...like running around like a ninja. 231.) Apparently, eating a french fry while standing up is one of the worst thin gs you can do. 232.) You're not surprised when you find out that they only got 800 vaccinations for 1500 people. 233.) You're strategy for passing a room inspection involves dancing to Oldies m usic with the broom you're using to sweep up. 234.) Akwardness grows with time...including my boner. 235.) The Great Barracks Fire of 09 Part III: Seriously, what the fuck!? 236.) Any time a group of guys get together, it normally results in a video that get's posted on the internet. 237.) Addendum to #150: Band is also a contact sport. 238.) It was big, red, and smelly... 239.) The Great Barracks Fire of 09 Part 592: I *bleep* this *bleep* fire alarm with *bleep* and a *bleep* with a rusty *bleep* and a *bleep* *bleeping* *bleep* on a *bleep* sandwich! 240.) NEVER leave your Facebook open. 241.) The cow mooed when I mooned the door because the hugbees ate the bacon tha t I sodomized. 242.) # 241 is insanely epic. 243.) Addendum to # 229: sung repetitively, this song is an effective torture de vice...kinda like thin mints. 244.) Addendum to # 151: Velociraptors have a habit of popping up every once in awhile. 245.) Somebody shitting themself is a good time to meet someone new. 246.) It's never too early to say it's too early in the morning. 247.) When faced with double-doors, everyone goes in and out through ONE door ou t of sheer laziness...or stupidity. 248.) Never say something good will happen to you. Your friends will make it the ir utmost priority to do the exact opposite to you. 249.) Addendum to # 247: Opening that second door is the most amazing fucking th ing in the world. 250.) The more confident you are in a test, the more you begin to think that you 've actually got it completely wrong. 251.) Like. 252.) Do you have dum-dums in your coconut? 253.) The most evil thing anyone has ever done to you while at VMI is play "Part y in the U.S.A" by Miley Cyrus over and over and over... 254.) "Nuke the bastards," is an accurate summarization of your take on National Security Policy. 255.) This place makes you love Asians more. 256.) When guessing someones computer password, your first instinct is to go for either penis, vagina, or any variation of the two. 257.) You never know who we're playing in football, nor do you care. 258.) Addendum to # 254: You've spent three years taking political science class es only to come to the conclusion that nuking everyone is the only policy you're willing to use. 259.) Way to greet someone: Upon making eye contact, have an epice stare down fo r 10 seconds while doing something insanely stupid (i.e raising your eyebrows up and down or chewing your food slowly like a mule). Afterwards, smile and wave g iddly, then carry on as normal. 260.) Addendum to # 259: Insulting someone is a good way to get someones attenti on and carry on a conversation (i.e "John Smtih is a bitch/whore...) 261.) Addendum to # 253: Sometimes it's the things that annoy you the most that help lift you up when the going get's tough. (RIP John Evans. 7 Nov 09) 262.) The only holiday that VMI recongizes is the same holiday that they created for themselves. What the fuck... 263.) Addendum to # 226: After walking in 70 degree weather wearing a uniform ma de completely out of wool, you've realized that it actually takes you THIRTY min utes to get to your car. 264.) There's a couple! 265.) The day after a 20 mile road march, an entire stoop manages to look like a n old folks home. 266.) The First Class Shuffle. 267.) The sight of a port-a-potty passing by is one of the happiest things you w ill ever see. 268.) Take comfort in knowing that everything you do, you do for the last time. 269.) Don't judge me cow! 270.) The most beautiful sight you've ever seen is 1500 cadets doing YMCA at a b asketball game. 271.) "Man, this guys a major dick...""...yeah, a dick covered in snow!..." 272.) My keys are still in the coconut by the way... 273.) Waking up to your alarm is a sign of a bad day. 274.) Any response to something on Facebook must have homosexual tendencies. 275.) Apparently, all you need to do to attach something to an e-mail is to ment ion that you attached it to the e-mail, IN the e-mail...oh, wait. 276.) You add "-ism" at the end of every word to denote a philosophy. i.e angeri sm, piss-off-ism, PMS-ism... 277.) Studying or working out? Nah, I'd rather play chat roulette and try to get a girl to show me her boobs. 278.) "I can't get this song out of my head."...Turn it up. 279.) "You just commited a felony!?"..."Oh well... 280.) Whenever you see a blueprint of a building, your first thought is, "I wond er where the best place to put a bomb is." 281.) Hard, honest work loses its monotony when someone gets hit in the nuts. 282.) Addendum to # 124: In retrospect, you're not surprised that this was in a GERMAN class. 283.) Addendum to # 162: Your teachers don't have to come to class, but YOU do! 284.) When faced with an uphill snowbattle, you immediately think of the invasio n of Normandy. 285.) You will slam a face into a girls door, but have no qualms putting your ha nd on another guys thigh. 286.) The day you see crushed up granola bars being passed off as cereal at dinn er just about makes you want to kill yourself. 287.) Never go up to someone and say," Here, destroy this." The end result is ty pically a " Hell yeah," followed by an" Oh shit" ending with a "fuck me" 288.) After snowing on and off for a few weeks, you've come to realize just HOW much you hate snow. 289.) Addendum to # 288: You're happy whenever it snows, not because of the snow itself, but because you get to see everyone get pissed off out the wazoo. 290.) Never say I love you to another man while you're in the shower. 291.) This is the only place where you can go up to another guy and ask," Hey, w ant to go take a shower?" and it's completely normal (HR: Paul Belmont) 292.) There's nothing like having a surprise inspection by two Generals that mak es you realize how badly you DON'T need to go to the bathroom. 293.) It's been 4 years, and you still don't know which rooms are on the 100 lev el of Scott Shipp. 294.) Addendum to # 229: Hearing "Bad Romance" by Lady GaGa made you want to pun ch a hole in a wall. 295.) Your socks are glowing, even though you're not wearing any. 296.) Random Drug Testing: About as random as the sun coming up in the morning 297.) Don't tell anyone to "blow me" or "suck my dick". We will actually conside r it. 298.) Addendum to # 155: Free food will cause cadets to make a 100 yard sprint t owards the source of the food. 299.) Upon taking the National Political Science Test at the end of the year, ev ery IS major had these exact four words running through their heads: " Man, fuck this test!" 300.) You've reached a point during the week where you can no longer count how m any times you've said," fuck this place, fuck VMI, or any iteration of the two," on your hands and feet...and it's only Tuesday. 301.) 8-9= rain. 10-12= sunshine. 12-1= rain again. Parade starts at 1050...if t here wasn't any more compelling evidence that God hates this place, I haven' t s een it yet. 302.) VMI: FIne producers of gay straight men since 1839. 303.) VMI: Where you get enjoyment out of seeing how far back you can piss into a urinal. 304.) Your best ideas come out of nowhere while standing around taking a piss. 305.) If you walk into a room blasting music, you must immediately forget about your orignal reason for entering the room and proceed to start dancing to said m usic. 306.) Two weeks left at VMI means doing things that are even more unusual than n ormal, like eating fried chicken while taking a shower. 307.) Never utter the phrase," Could it possibly get any...", because it will. 308.) Jumping off of the 4th floor of a building onto a pile of mattresses is yo ur idea of relieving stress during exams. 309.) It is entirely appropriate to say go fuck yourself when saying goodbye to someone. 310.) The sound of an airhorn going off means one of two things: 1.) The end of something that worked the piss out of you or B.) The beginning of something that will cause you to run away from the bathroom, and in the process piss yourself. 311.) There are two types of explosions at VMI. One makes you go, "Fuck Yeah!" a nd the other makes you go," Mother fucking son of a bitch I was asleep!" 312.) Things that are normally cool in the middle of the day, like lighting thin gs on fire, explosions and kicking people out of the school, are not so cool whe n it's the middle of the night. 313.) Weird things to hear over the radio:" Yeah, I need to call my mom. 314.) Kathy Lavender/Wirtanen DOES exist! 315.) Addendum to # 190: Pacman at last BRC formation 316.) (20110215) Re-living these memories through The List makes you realize tha t VMI wasn't really all that bad. Hell is relative to those serving its needs. To anybody but us, it's brimstone a nd sulfur. But to those who live here, its home. The four walls of barracks are our protection from the weakness and piety of the civilian world. There is no st rength, no honor, no devotion to duty beyond them. Attention to detail is only d rilled here because it is so lacking elsewhere. We put up with a lot of bullshit ; but only because we're able to suffer through it and use it to our own advanta ge. There is no wrong in failing; but we rarely ever fail, and when we do, it ju st makes us that much stronger. We burn, and we bleed. We carry the standard so few will ever see. And we do so gladly. We are cadets of VMI. Today we salute you, Mr. Fraternity Big Shot. As you fill up that ZTA fr;)mans c up with everclear disguised as koolaid, and think back to your pledging days whe n you had to roll your shoulders back, tuck in your chin ,and speedwalk around c ampus. Then shave your head, square your corners, and spend friday's after parad e running and PT'ing until you threw up while responding to every question eithe r "Yes sir, no sir, or no excuse sir." You had to go to class everyday regardles s of how you felt because missing a class was just not an option. All of this wh ile becoming engulfed in a system that lasts an entire year and controls every a spect of your life. It molds you into a man, a man of integrity and honor, with a band of brotherhood that hasn't changed for 166 years. Oh wait you can't becau se you didnt do it. So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Sig Epsilon and enjo y it while you can because you'll be working for me soon. So all of Iran lack a pair of balls and can't take it in and suck it up? ( on ou trage of ancestors portrayal in the movie The 300) This world is ending right now. "I'm not young enough to know everything." Behold the vain man, and observe the arrogant; he clotheth himself in rich attir e, he walketh in the public street, he casteth round his eyes, and courteth obse rvation. He tosseth up his head, and overlooketh the poor; he treateth his infer iors with insolence, his superiors in return look down on his pride and folly wi th laughter. Stalin originally wanted to be a priest...oh the irony. Change only comes through struggle. Things aren't as black and white now. A gray area is steadily forming to serve a s a "what if" or an exception area. Originally Posted by theMAILmanK2 View Post OMFGZZ he's asian?!? I never would have thought that an asian would be good at G uitar Hero. Are you insane? We have no souls thus, we rock at everything Such an attitude stems from a tragic misconception of time, from the strangely r ational notion that there is something in the very flow of time that will inevit ably cure all ills. Actually, time itself is neutral; it can be used either dest ructively or constructively. More and more I feel that the people of ill will ha ve used time much more effectively than have the people of good will. We will ha ve to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people. Human progress never rolls in on wheels of inevitability; it comes through the tireless efforts of men willing to be co-workers with God, and without this 'hard work, time its elf becomes an ally of the forces of social stagnation. We must use time creativ ely, in the knowledge that the time is always ripe to do right. Now is the time to make real the promise of democracy and transform our pending national elegy i nto a creative psalm of brotherhood. Now is the time to lift our national policy from the quicksand of racial injustice to 6e solid rock of human dignity. -MLK, Letter from a Birmingham Jail "It behooves every man to remember that the work of the critic is of altogether secondary importance, and that, in the end, progress is accomplished by the man who does things." " Even if we have no written contract, the words of men ought to be more reliab le then paper. As long as there is the promise, I must not break it." -Yukichi Fukuzawa Unless you have lived it, you can NEVER understand what we go through. You will never have the right to criticize us, nor can you have the privilege of saying y our education was more difficult. You think we are all sick for telling you how much hatred we hold for what lies within these walls, and with the same breath t ell you we would rather be no where else on this planet. When I get home people 'll ask me, "Hey Hoot, why do ya do it man? Why? Just som e war junkie?" Ya know what I'll say? I won't say a damn word. Why? They won't u nderstand. They won't understand why we do it. They won't understand that it's a bout the men next to you, and that's it. That's all it is. Whatever, you guys can say whatever you want. I just find that 16 year old playing pokemon is more normal then a 16 year old w ho is drinking, getting wasted and sleeping around. Thats just my opinion. Sex is too great a gift from God to give to the casual. Free speech isn't always going to mean intelligent speech. You smell like gay -Me "Harry Osbourne, you are an idiot!" - Some random kid while watching Spiderman 3 Some people are dumber than hell. -Professor Dimmick "I'm canadian, everyone loves us. We're like the worlds gay friend." - The Daily Show Has American Idol turned solely into a popularity contest!? - The Colbert Report You don't just bring an army to war, you bring a country. Somebody slipped on a banana peel, let's nuke Ecuador! - The Colbert Report It doesn't matter what people say you should be. What's important is how you wan t to be. -BLEACH Boobs can make a six month old baby and a 65 year old man act the same way. - Bill Engvall ...'Never forget the price you pay for the things you want. Ensure that you thin k beyond the glittering prizes of wealth, fame or even noble deeds.These things are all fleeting. But a child who is close to you and proud of you, that is pric eless' Ideals alone don't change a country I wasn't dropped on my head as a kid, I was thrown across the room - Larry the Cable Guy ?It is important to understand the past. However it is risky to glorify the past or to allow for only one interpretation of history. Knowing history allows us t o escape the mistakes of the past and do things better in the future.? ?Liberty is important because it allows everyone to become the best they can be and live a life to which they are best suited. Naturally there are some limits t o liberty but it is among the most important of principles.? ?Stability is overrated. Old habits and practices can always be improved upon. B esides which change is refreshing and a natural part of life. As long as we can ensure that change is for the better then it is worthwhile.? ?Family is important but we must recognise that it can take all sorts of forms r ather than just the traditional nuclear family. Family relations are just one of the many kinds of relationships that can form in a diverse and tolerant society .? 1 Chronicles 28:20 And David said to Solomon his son, Be strong and of good courage, and do it: fea r not, nor be dismayed: for the LORD God, even my God, will be with thee; he wil l not fail thee, nor forsake thee, until thou hast finished all the work for the service of the house of the LORD. Why combine the cell phone and the camera, you just end up with a crappy phone a nd a crappy camera. -The Daily Show Money and power are all that drive most people, and they?ll do anything to get i t. Even if it means stepping on a few innocents to get it Human nature will gravitate to the lowest possible standard A true leader is completely honest with his followers Your momma is so stupid, she went to Bangkok to get a TIE fighter. -Robot Chicken Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Your momma is so stupid, she spent all day sayin am not to R2. - Robot Chicken "There are times when the end justifies the means. But when you build an argumen t based on a whole series of such times, you may find that you?ve constructed an entire philosophy of evil." - Luke Skywalker Any opinion can easily become fact provided that one has enough armed soldiers a t their disposal. Raw strength is nothing compared to the power of ones will. Everyone is made up of events in their past, and it forms walls around ones spir it, or breaks such walls down. The mind makes some powerless, and gives strength to others. To believe in an ideal is to be willing to betray it.That's the lesson of streng th. A real leader sleeps in the same conditions as the lowest of his men. After all, how can you effectively lead without knowing what they're going through? War happens everywhere. Between two people, five, ten, one hundred, one thousand , millions, billions. It destroys and it builds; it kills and gives birth; it en compasses everything and everyone. These men have been trained to kill. They were taken from their families or volu nteered, but they can never return to society as just another person. They?ve bl ood on their hands. But with that blood, they make us safe. These men are here because if they weren?t, we?d be worse off. If everything could be resolved with apologies, wars wouldn't erupt and we would n't need soldiers. "sha yi jing bai" Execute one enemy to warn a hundred. Theres no need to be stronger than the enemy. All you need to do to make them gi ve up is make them acknowledge that you would give them a good fight. Political Correctness - an eager willingness to offend 96% of the population bec ause you are far more afraid of offending the remaining 4%. "We swear a lot, we have been known to drink a little heavily from time to time, we walk around with a certain confidence about us that can be more accurately d escribed as only one thing; arrogance, so I temporaily arrived at the conclusion that collectively we are a bunch of cocky, foul mouthed drunks... yet as I look out at this elite group of arrogant, foul mouthed drunks, I realize that these are the finest men I will ever know." - Wes Swank VMI Validictorian 2003 The day VMI screws up cereal is the day I outprocess. - Vince Abruzzese The nature of power- whether it is 'normal' or fanciful, does not change the mor al obligations which go with it. Power breeds responsibility. The ability to hel p others and the moral obligation to do so- especially where fewer or no other p eople can, which is where we come back to your idea about a rare 'magical' gift, go hand in hand "Perfection, it is not the goal, it is the standard." Excellence is my namesake. When you are in someone elses home, you do not fuck his wife. - Col. Baragona Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you: Jesus Christ and the American soldier. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom. Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our li ves? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn't fall in love, or have ba bies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come int o your life and people go. But it's comforting to know the ones you love are alw ays in your heart. My religious belief teaches me to feel as safe in battle as in bed. God has fixe d the time for my death. I do not concern myself about that, but to always be re ady, no matter when it may overtake me. - Stonewall Jackson "History teaches that a society that does not value its warriors will be destroy ed by a society that does." Great harm has been done to us. We have suffered great loss. And in our grief an d anger we have found our mission and our moment. Freedom and fear are at war. T he advance of human freedom -- the great achievement of our time, and the great hope of every time -- now depends on us. Our nation -- this generation -- will l ift a dark threat of violence from our people and our future. We will rally the world to this cause by our efforts, by our courage. We will not tire, we will no t falter, and we will not fail. -George W. Bush Extreme unhappiness and tremendous pride. That's VMI. But happiness is temporary , and pride lasts forever. Pride is the only reason we stay. Do you know why the youth always go to war? They're the only ones brave enough to fight. "I was not the lion, but it fell to me to give the lion?s roar." -Winston Churchill This is a battle that can't be fought or won only by armies. We are so much more powerful in all convential ways than the terrorists, yet even in all our might, we are taught humility. In the end, it is not our power alone that will defeat this evil. Our ultimate weapon it not our guns, but our beliefs. - Tony Blair Those who would deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves. - Abraham Lincoln. Finishing the fighting is not finishing the job. What we do in life echoes in eternity. Strength and honor. Army is just a four letter word for the devil. Let us show our thankfullness by the manner of our living. America is not at war. The military is at war. America is at the mall. Things grow weak unless they are constantly challenged He asked me, "what were the usual causes or motives that made one country go to war with another?" I answered "they were innumerable; but I should only me ntion a few of the chief. Sometimes the ambition of princes, who never think the y have land or people enough to govern; sometimes the corruption of ministers, w ho engage their master in a war, in order to stifle or divert the clamour of the subjects against their evil administration. Difference in opinions has cost man y millions of lives: for instance, whether flesh be bread, or bread be flesh; wh ether the juice of a certain berry be blood or wine; whether whistling be a vice or a virtue; whether it be better to kiss a post, or throw it into the fire; wh at is the best colour for a coat, whether black, white, red, or gray; and whethe r it should be long or short, narrow or wide, dirty or clean; with many more. Neither are any wars so furious and bloody, or of so long a continuance, a s those occasioned by difference in opinion, especially if it be in things indif ferent. "Sometimes the quarrel between two princes is to decide which of them shal l dispossess a third of his dominions, where neither of them pretend to any righ t. Sometimes one prince quarrels with another for fear the other should quarrel with him. Sometimes a war is entered upon, because the enemy is too strong; and sometimes, because he is too weak. Sometimes our neighbours want the things whic h we have, or have the things which we want, and we both fight, till they take o urs, or give us theirs. It is a very justifiable cause of a war, to invade a cou ntry after the people have been wasted by famine, destroyed by pestilence, or em broiled by factions among themselves. It is justifiable to enter into war agains t our nearest ally, when one of his towns lies convenient for us, or a territory of land, that would render our dominions round and complete. If a prince sends forces into a nation, where the people are poor and ignorant, he may lawfully pu t half of them to death, and make slaves of the rest, in order to civilize and r educe them from their barbarous way of living. It is a very kingly, honourable, and frequent practice, when one prince desires the assistance of another, to sec ure him against an invasion, that the assistant, when he has driven out the inva der, should seize on the dominions himself, and kill, imprison, or banish, the p rince he came to relieve. Alliance by blood, or marriage, is a frequent cause of war between princes; and the nearer the kindred is, the greater their dispositi on to quarrel; poor nations are hungry, and rich nations are proud; and pride an d hunger will ever be at variance. For these reasons, the trade of a soldier is held the most honourable of all others; because a soldier is a YAHOO hired to ki ll, in cold blood, as many of his own species, who have never offended him, as p ossibly he can. -Gullivers Travels (Part IV, Chapter V) But when a creature pretending to reason could be capable of such enormities, he dreaded lest the corruption of that faculty might be worse than brutality itsel f. He seemed therefore confident, that, instead of reason we were only possessed of some quality fitted to increase our natural vices; as the reflection from a troubled stream returns the image of an ill shapen body, not only larger but mor e distorted." -Gullivers Travels (Part IV, Chapter V) "Secrets are like Herpes, if you've got 'em you might as well spread 'em" Heavenly Father, We come before you today To ask your forgiveness and To seek your direction and guidance. We know Your Word says, "Woe to those who call evil good" But that is exactly what we have done. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium And reversed our values. We have exploited the poor and Called it the lottery. We have rewarded laziness And called it welfare. We have killed our unborn and called it choice. We have shot abortionists And called it justifiable. We have neglected to discipline Our children and called it Building self esteem. We have abused power And called it politics. We have coveted our neighbour's Possessions and called it ambition. We have polluted the air with profanity and Pornography and called it Freedom of speech and expression. We have ridiculed the time Honoured values of our Forefathers and called it enlightenment. Search us, Oh, God, And know our hearts today; Cleanse us from every sin And set us free. Amen!" "I have two rules I follow," Saren explained. "The first is: never kill someone without a reason." "And the second?" "You can always find a reason to kill someone." You smug faced Who cheer when Sneak home and The hell where crowds with kindling eye, soldier lads march by, pray you'll never know youth and laughter go. Our safety, our liberty, depends upon preserving the Constitution of the United States as our fathers made it inviolate. The people of the United States are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitu tion, but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution. -Abraham Lincoln When it gets to the point where the people back home have to worry about war, th en we've already lost. You can't predict how people will react, but you can control how you respond. In the end that's all that matters. - Mass Effect Two things Americans like: Technical Expertise and Things that go boom! Moderation in everything, including moderation. Coward (Shouting)-Fucking baby killer! (Spits in my eye.) I hate you for fightin g in a war where you kill innocent civilians! All you soldiers are alike! I hate you all! Three-P (Shouting)-Worthless chicken-shit! (Punches his eye.) Unless you were th ere and know what you were talking about, you need to shut your fucking mouth! What would I do? I'd allow myself to go to war, fight for my country. Regardless of the motives behind the war, there's no honor in running and hiding like a ro dent. If I die in combat in an unjust war, that's how the great flow of chronolo gy and relativity was supposed to unfold. Who am I to deny the great perpetual c hurning maelstrom of organic destiny? Destiny is not running towards one's death. You aren't a hero. Destiny is not hiding from conflict or adversity either. I never said I would jo in voluntarily, but if there is conflict, and I am called, regardless of the rea sons, I will go. I am not a lightweight, and even though I do not willingly seek it, I am not afraid of battle. I will take a life if I have to, and I will refl ect on it later in regards to the moral and existential implications. Nor am I s o attached to the idea of living another moment that I will fear death should it present itself to me. I have not regret a moment of life I have spent on earth, so if my time comes, so be it. Indeed the great danger confronting religion is not so much theoretical atheism as practical atheism. Not so much denying God's existence with our lips, but den ying God's existence with our lives. Doesn't matter if he's real or not. Some people believe in him and it gives them hope and the power to go on with their lives. In the end, that's all that matte rs. VMI wouldn't be as bad if it weren't for the Army. Imagine having a politician call you a liar. The Lottery is a tax on people who can't do math. If a tree falls down in the forest and the news isn't all over it did it really happen? Daily show 10 March Code pink: ...It is t is very important Rob Riggle: If only Code pink: wouldn't 2008 (shuting down the Marine Recuriting station at Berkley) our responsibility as the public to shut this place down...i to protect free speech there was an organization sworn to defend free speech that be great ?Coincidence is God's way of staying anonymous? Will this not be our greatest shame, when our grandchildren climb onto our knee and ask us what we remember from these days? Will they not go hunting for news c lippings of Darfur and find themselves sorting through piles of photos of Lindsa y Lohan passed out in a car? Let the pieces fall wherever they may be. "Everyone dies. It's the final and only lasting Justice. Evil exists; it is intelligence in the service of entropy. When the side of a mountain slides to kill a village, this i s not evil, for evil requires intent. Should a sentient being cause that landsli de, there is evil; and requires Justice as a consequence, so that civilization c an exist. There is no greater good than Justice; and only if law serves Justice is it a go od law. It is said correctly that law exists not for the Just but for the unjust , for the Just carry the law in their hearts, and do not need to call it from af ar. I bow to no one and give service only for cause." -Boba Fett Bender Bending Rodriguez: I am a Conscientious Objector Phillip J Fry: A what? Bender Bending Rodriguez: You know, a Coward. As soon as men decide that all means are permitted to fight an evil, then their good becomes indistinguishable from the evil that they set out to destroy. Think of how humbling it is to realize that the world wouldn't be the same if on e person did not exist. "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in ou r pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world." "Woman was God's second mistake." "If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man' s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility." It is easier to find men who will volunteer to die, than to find those who are w illing to endure pain with patience." Anyone who says violence never solves anything strikes me as very ignorant. Viol ence has solved more problems than anything else in the history of mankind, and as far as I can tell, that record will remain intact as long as we walk the eart h. "We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the com plete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not tru e." - Robert Wilensky The United States has become a place where entertainers and professional athlete s are mistaken for people of importance. Imagine a world in which the hyphen in words were moved to the next word. That's a big ass-dick. "Do you beleive in the devil? An evil, destructive entity bent on the corruption and destruction of mankind?" To which Hobbes replys, 'I don't think mankind needs the help." "I believe in my fellow citizens. Our headlines are splashed with crime yet for every criminal there are 10,000 honest, decent, kindly men. If it were not so, n o child would live to grow up. Business could not go on from day to day. Decency is not news. It is buried in the obituaries, but is a force stronger than crime . I believe in the patient gallantry of nurses and the tedious sacrifices of tea chers. I believe in the unseen and unending fight against desperate odds that go es on quietly in almost every home in the land. If we must die, let it not be like hogs Hunted and penned in an inglorious spot, While round us bark the mad and hungry dogs, Making their mock at our accursed lot. If we must die, O let us nobly die, So that our precious blood may not be shed In vain; then even the monsters we defy Shall be constrained to honor us though dead! O kinsmen we must meet the common foe! Though far outnumbered let us show us brave, And for their thousand blows deal one deathblow! What though before us lies the open grave? Like men we'll face the murderous, cowardly pack, Pressed to the wall, dying, but fighting back! Mastermind?s another word that comes up all the time. You keep hearing about th ese, these uh, terrorist masterminds that are being killed over in the Middle Ea st. Terrorists masterminds. Mastermind is sort of a lofty way to describe what these guys do, don?t you think? They?re not masterminds. ?OK, you take bomb, right? And you put in backpack. Then you get on the bus and you blow yourself up.? ?Why do I have to blow myself up? Why don?t I put?? ?Who?s the fucking mastermind here, me or you?? Americans, let?s face it: We?ve been a spoiled country for a long time. Do you know what the number one health risk in America is? Obesity, obesity! They say we?re in the middle of an obesity epidemic. An epidemic like it is polio. Like we?ll be telling our grand kids about it one day. The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004. ?How?d you get through it grandpa?? ?Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere.? We?re in one of the richest countries in the world, and minimum wage is lower th an it was thirty five years ago. There are homeless people everywhere. This ho meless guy asked me for money the other day. I was about to give it to him and then I thought, ?he?s just gonna use it on drugs or alcohol.? And then I though t, ?that?s what I?m going to use it on.? Why am I judging this poor bastard? P eople love to judge homeless guys. Like if you give them money they?re just goin g to waste it he?s gonna waste the money. Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do with it? Save it up and buy a wall unit? Take a little run to th e store for a throw rug and a CD rack? He?s homeless. I walked behind this guy the other day. A homeless guy asked him for money. He looks right at the homel ess guy, he goes ?why don?t you go get a job you bum.? People always say that t o homeless guys ?get a job? like it's always that easy. This homeless guy was w earing his underwear outside his pants. I?m guessing his resume ain?t all up to date. I?m predicting some problems during the interview process. I?m pretty s ure even McDonalds has a ?underwear goes inside the pants? policy. Not that the y enforce it very strictly, but technically I?m sure it is on the books. "[Physicist Richard Feynman] believed that it was not certainty but freedom from certainty that empowered people to make judgements about right and wrong: knowi ng that they could never be more than provisionally right, but able to act nonet heless. Only by understanding uncertainty could people learn how to evaluate the many kinds of false knowledge that bombard them: claims of mind reading and spo on bending, belief in flying saucers bearing alien visitors. Science can never disprove such claims, any more than it can disprove God. It can only devise expe riments, and explore alternative explanations until it gains a commonsense suren ess. 'I have argued flying saucers with lots of people,' Feynman once said. 'I w as interested in this: they keep arguing that it is possible. And that's true. I t is possible. They do not appreciate that the problem is not to demonstrate whe ther it's possible or not but whether it's going on or not.'" "I believe what really happens in history is this: the old man is always wrong; and the young people are always wrong about what is wrong with him. The practica l form it takes is this: that, while the old man may stand by some stupid custom , the young man always attacks it with some theory that turns out to be equally stupid." When Joanna-(to judge) my ex wife-when she was talking earlier about how unhappy she was during our marriage, well, I guess most of what she said was probably t rue. There were a lot of things I didn't understand, a lot of things I'd do diff erent if I could. Just like I guess there's a lot of things Joanna wishes she co uld change. But we can't. Some things, once they're done, can't be undone. Joann a says she loves Billy. I believe she does. So do I. But the way it was explaine d to me, that's not the issue. The only thing that's supposed to matter here is what's best for Billy. When Joanna said, "Why shouldn't a woman have the same am bitions as a man," well, I suppose she's right. But by that same token what law is it that says that a woman makes a better parent simply because of her sex? I guess I've had to think a lot about what it takes to make a good parent: constan cy, patience, understanding, .... love. Where is it written that a man has any l ess of these qualities than a woman? Billy has a home with me, I've tried to mak e it the best I could. It's not perfect, I'm not a perfect parent. I don't have enough patience. Sometimes I forget he's just a little kid. But I love him. More than anything else in this world, I love him. You want to know why the world is full of dictators like Kim Jong Il pushing to get nuclear programs? Because a few decades ago, they were kids. And they waited patiently for their mail order nuclear sub, only to find it was a cheap cardboa rd piece of crap. And they shook their fist and thought, "Some day, when I'm a g rown up ... " "The only way to truly know a person is to argue with them. For when they argue in full swing, then they reveal their true character." Don't ever become a pessimist... a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist , but an optimist has more fun, and neither can stop the march of events. If the universe has any purpose more important than topping a woman you love and making a baby with her hearty help, I've never heard of it. The weather is like America at the moment, getting darker by the minute and maki ng you feel threatened. Fox News, bashing the Republican and praising the Democrat...this truly was a hi storic night. - The Daily Show, Jun 4th, 2008 Correct. If you had evacuated the city, the enemy would have been alerted to its lost transmission. You wisely allowed the loss of life for the ultimate victory . Evaluation will continue. Hypothetical: Same situation as before, but you are not at war. Your Republic has stagnant and decaying, and your people have grown complacent. Your enemies are small and weak, but you learn that they will attack you in five days. What do you do?? ?I let the attack happen,? Vincent answered. ?Correct. Your people will rally under you against the common threat. Evaluation complete. It's the point that soldiers are people who are willing to risk their lives for something they believe to be the right thing. I can disagree with what they beli eve to be the right thing, but I appreciate the courage of fighting for it. They 're not the ones lying to their population, they're not the ones who decide to s acrifice other people's lives, but they are the ones who take all the risk that follows from those decisions. First off, Im in the military. The war in Iraq is bullshit. Its another case of "When the rich wage war, its the poor that die." I joined after 9/11 and I knew what I would be getting into (afghan. not so much Iraq.) The war in Iraq has not hing to do with american freedom. I mean fuck, since the beggining all it has do ne has thousands of lives, over 500 Billion dollars, and tripled oil prices. And the longer it goes, the richer the President, his father, and the VP get. Please dont be so stupid as to think that the great majority of us in the milita ry dont see this. But at the end of the day it comes down to the fact that we si gned up to do what our president and chain of command says to do, and because of our integrity we do it.Im no hero, hell Im just doing a job that needs to be do ne. I dont care if you hate the war and me for being in it. The only thing I ask is this:Next time you feel the need to talk shit about the troops fighting the war stop for a second and realize that they, along with every troop that has eve r served in the US armed forces, put thier ass on the line everyday so you have the ability to talk shit about them. It was ironic really...we had come to explore the moon and in reality we had jus t discovered the Earth. -Apollo VIII Boyfriend and Girlfriend Discuss "Sex and the City" Boyfriend: Why are you and your friends so obsessed with "Sex and the City?" Girlfriend: Because the characters are just like us! Boyfriend: Like the fact that only one of you is kind of attractive? "Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and han ded on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years tellin g our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United S tates where men were free." -Ronald Reagan I said to my children, 'I'm going to work and do everything that I can do to see that you get a good education. I don't ever want you to forget that there are m illions of God's children who will not and cannot get a good education, and I do n't want you feeling that you are better than they are. For you will never be wh at you ought to be until they are what they ought to be.' -Martin Luther King, Jr. "Stop worrying about me. I joined the parachutists to fight. I intend to fight. If necessary I shall die fighting, but don't worry about this because no war can be won without young men dying. Those things that are precious are saved only b y sacrifice." -Private David Webster ? Easy Co- in a letter to his mother before D-Day Security ... what does this word mean in relation to life as we know it today? F or the most part, it means safety and freedom from worry. It is said to be the e nd that all men strive for; but is security a utopian goal or is it another word for rut? Let us visualize the secure man; and by this term, I mean a man who has settled for financial and personal security for his goal in life. In general, he is a ma n who has pushed ambition and initiative aside and settled down, so to speak, in a boring, but safe and comfortable rut for the rest of his life. His future is but an extension of his present, and he accepts it as such with a complacent shr ug of his shoulders. His ideas and ideals are those of society in general and he is accepted as a respectable, but average and prosaic man. But is he a man? has he any self-respect or pride in himself? How could he, when he has risked nothi ng and gained nothing? What does he think when he sees his youthful dreams of ad venture, accomplishment, travel and romance buried under the cloak of conformity ? How does he feel when he realizes that he has barely tasted the meal of life; when he sees the prison he has made for himself in pursuit of the almighty dolla r? If he thinks this is all well and good, fine, but think of the tragedy of a m an who has sacrificed his freedom on the altar of security, and wishes he could turn back the hands of time. A man is to be pitied who lacked the courage to acc ept the challenge of freedom and depart from the cushion of security and see lif e as it is instead of living it second-hand. Life has by-passed this man and he has watched from a secure place, afraid to seek anything better What has he done except to sit and wait for the tomorrow which never comes? Turn back the pages of history and see the men who have shaped the destiny of th e world. Security was never theirs, but they lived rather than existed. Where wo uld the world be if all men had sought security and not taken risks or gambled w ith their lives on the chance that, if they won, life would be different and ric her? It is from the bystanders (who are in the vast majority) that we receive th e propaganda that life is not worth living, that life is drudgery, that the ambi tions of youth must he laid aside for a life which is but a painful wait for dea th. These are the ones who squeeze what excitement they can from life out of the imaginations and experiences of others through books and movies. These are the insignificant and forgotten men who preach conformity because it is all they kno w. These are the men who dream at night of what could have been, but who wake at dawn to take their places at the now-familiar rut and to merely exist through a nother day. For them, the romance of life is long dead and they are forced to go through the years on a treadmill, cursing their existence, yet afraid to die be cause of the unknown which faces them after death. They lacked the only true cou rage: the kind which enables men to face the unknown regardless of the consequen ces. As an afterthought, it seems hardly proper to write of life without once mention ing happiness; so we shall let the reader answer this question for himself: who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? - Hunter S. Thompson We need to build buildings with high asses and huge tits! - The Colbert Report It's like a bucket list...in that I want to bomb them until their most advanced technology is a bucket. - The Colbert Report "People always say we can't have gay marriage because marriage is a sacred insti tution. No it's not! Not in America! Not with 'Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire' and 'The Bachelor' and 'Who Wants to Marry a Midget!" -Chris Rock " We may be tired of hearing about the War in Iraq five years from now, but the soldier is still going to have to do his job over there." -Lara Logan "Bottom line is, even if you see 'em coming, you're not ready for the big moment s. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So what are we , helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come. You can't help that. It 's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are." -Whistler, 'Becoming (Part I)' 2.21 BtVS Some people lose their Faith because Heaven showed them too little, but how many people lose their Faith because It showed them too much? "I believe in God like I believe in the sun rise. Not because I can see it, but because I can see all that it touches. " All governments suffer a recurring problem: Power attracts pathological personal ities. It is not that power corrupts but that it is magnetic to the corruptible. Such people have a tendency to become drunk on violence, a condition to which t hey are quickly addicted. -Chapterhouse: Dune by Frank Herbert "this job - indeed all of LIFE ITSELF might just be a BIG FAT JOKE TO YOU PEOPLE but some of us have to PLOW THROUGH IT REGARDLESS we don't GET BREAKS or VACATIONS or BULLSHIT LIKE THAT it's just a NONSTOP WINTER PAGEANT of BILLS and DEBTS and MOPPING and NEVER SLEE PING" -- Tristan A. Farnon, Leisure Town: Winter Pageant Hank Hill (King of the Hill), concerning Christian Rock: You aren't making Christianity better, just making Rock n' Roll worse! ?General Rosencrantz, in his report of the battle of Murfreesboro?, estimates... that out of 2,000,000 musket shots, 13,822 told. The result of this valuation i s that it required 27 cannon shots, or 155 musket balls, to hit one man.? -Illustrated London News, April 4, 1863 Am I the only one who thinks NASCAR would be a lot more fun if after the 250th l ap they have to start turning right? We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love. Ah yes Viacom, the masterminds behind intelligent and incredibly thought stimula ting programming such as MTV and BET. Fuck finding the cure for cancer, I want t o see what Soulja Boy's "crib" looks like and check out another vehicle getting "pimped" Forced optimism is more of a hindrance than people like to think. People who mak e themselves be happy, who say that everything is going to be alright, are only lying to themselves. Of course, optimism gives people hope, but hope is only use ful if there is something to be afraid of. I think optimists are constantly terr ified. It is the cynic/realist who tells the world to give them what it may and will be satisfied with it. The era of the state church has been replaced by an age in which the state itsel f is the church. European progressives still don't get this: they think the idea of a religion telling you how to live your life is primitive, but the governmen t regulating every aspect of it is somehow advanced and enlightened." -Mark Steyn "There's only one thing worse then threatenin' a man, and that's threatenin' his friends and family." - Fred, Typically Lost Something Forever "The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crisis." - Dante Alighieri "Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It o pens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get ins ide you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole s uit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life? You give them a pi ece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss y ou or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostag es. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, s o simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass spli nter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart p ain. I hate love." -Neil Gaima Paul Keating - Aus PM from 1991 - 1996, in "The Redfern Speech", 10 Dec 1992 (co ncerning plight of indigenous Australians. Safe to say the government line has c hanged since then.) It begins, I think, with the act of recognition. Recognition that it was we who did the dispossessing. We took the traditional lands and smashed the traditional way of life. We brought the disasters. The alcohol. We committed the murders. W e took the children from their mothers. We practised discrimination and exclusio n. It was our ignorance and our prejudice. And our failure to imagine these things being done to us. With some noble exceptions, we failed to make the most basic h uman response and enter into their hearts and minds. We failed to ask - how woul d I feel if this were done to me? As a consequence, we failed to see that what we were doing degraded all of us. ... There is one thing today we cannot imagine. We cannot imagine that the descendan ts of people whose genius and resilience maintained a culture here through 50 00 0 years or more, through cataclysmic changes to the climate and environment, and who then survived two centuries of dispossession and abuse, will be denied thei r place in the modern Australian nation. We cannot imagine that. We cannot imagine that we will fail. And with the spirit that is here today i am confident that we won't. I am confident that we will succeed in this decade. Thank you. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference" --Reinhold Niebuhr A protest raged on a courthouse lawn, Round a makeshift stage they charged on, Fifteen hundred or more they say, Had come to burn a flag that day. A boy held up the folded flag, Cursed it, and called it a dirty rag. An old man pushed through the angry crowd, With a rusty shotgun shouldered proud. His uniform jacket was old and tight, He had polished each button, shiny and bright. He crossed that stage with a soldier's grace, Until he and the boy stood face to face. "Freedom of speech," the old man said, "Is worth dying for; good men are dead, So you can stand on this courthouse lawn, And talk us down from dusk to dawn, But before any flag gets burned today, This old man is going to have his say! My father died on a foreign shore, In a war they said would end all war. But Tommy and I wasn't even full grown, Before we fought in a war of our own. And Tommy died on Iwo Jima's beach, In the shadow of a hill he couldn't quite reach, Where five good men raised this flag so high, That the whole damn world could see it fly. I got this bum leg that I still drag, Fighting for this same old flag. Now there's but one shot in this old gun, So now it's time to decide which one, Which one of you will follow our lead, To stand and die for what you believe? For as sure as there is a rising sun, You'll burn in Hell 'fore this flag burns, son." Now this riot never came to pass The crowd got quiet and that can of gas, Got set aside as they walked away To talk about what they had heard this day. And the boy who had called it a "dirty rag," Handed the old soldier the folded flag. So the battle of the flag this day was won By a tired old soldier with a rusty gun, Who for one last time, had to show to some, This flag may fade, but these colors don't run. It is not blindness that is the disability. It is fear. Power is when we have every justification to kill and we don't We wanted our heroes to be simple, grizzled everymen with nothing to lose; one f oot in the grave, the other wrapped in an American flag and lodged firmly in a t errorist's asshole. - The Colbert Report My God is a God of strength. He does not like the smell of frankincense and the dishonoring crawl of the crowd. I stand before him proudly, with the head held h igh, like he created me, and I confess gladly and freely before him. -Joseph Goebbels "So the foreign plumber jumps on the turtles, grabs some gold coins, and then ea ts a flower that makes him spit fire? That kid's on dope!" "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves...who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manif est the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our light shine, we uncons ciously give other people permission to do the same." "I certainly wish Michael well in the future. I believe in second chances. I bel ieve in third chances. That doesn't mean I believe in forever chances. But I do believe he's capable of redemption and learning from his mistakes." -Arthur Blank Human will, instilled through leadership, is the driving force of all action in war. It's not a matter of who will win the election, but who should. I'm a pissed of son-of-a-bitch because I can't time travel. - Col. Burnett A true warrior does not fight because he wishes to but because he has to. A man who yearns for war, a man who enjoys his killing, he is a brute and a monster. -Brisingr It's a humbling thought to realize that the world wouldn't be the way it was if one person didn't exist. The purpose of life is not to do what we want but what needs to be done. This is what fate demands of us. -Brisingr "What sort of society needs to remind people not to rape?!" I saw a PSA that said 1/3 of all car accident involve someone who has THC in the ir bloodstream, I'm no statistician, but what the fuck is wrong with the 2/3 of sober people who suck at driving? "He beats my wife and has sex with my kids..." "Don't you mean have sex with your wife and beat your kids?" "...yeah...thats what I meant..." - Jason Morgan, Owen Trotman, and Me The Blue Book is our Bible, which is funny because I didn't know that Hell could HAVE a Bible. - me These four walls will house a generation capable of leading a changing world. -Chaplain Park ?Each of us will one day be judged by our standard of life -- not by our standar d of living; by our measure of giving -- not by our measure of wealth; by our si mple goodness -- not by our seeming greatness.? -William Arthur Ward ?Leadership is based on inspiration, not domination; on cooperation, not intimid ation.? -William Arthur Ward The question is not how far. The question is, do you possess the constitution, t he depth of faith, to go as far as is needed? -Boondock Saints Is it cruel and unusual punishment to put an Amish man in an electric chair? Humanity will always gravitate to the lowest common denominator. "The key to having a successful relationship is to find someone that not only WA NTS to be there for you....but can." The sign says dangerous but my mind says yes... - Chuong Having the power or ability to do something doesn't mean you should use it. Since Cocoa Puffs make normal milk chocolate, I thought they might turn chocolat e milk normal. Instead it just turned my body diabetic. I started drinking soy milk recently because they say it's better for you. So if that's the case, I think on the carton they should put pictures of kids we've f ound. "...And while it could be said that stocking up on a small but furious country?s worth of firearms in order to fight a demographic that is largely armed with op timism and a can-do attitude is a bit of an overreaction, some people see every act of this new administration as a sign of the impending apocalypse, no matter how retarded that might seem." -On Obama as president For every complex problem, there is a simple solution that is elegant, easy to u nderstand, and wrong. Do you think if Jesus was on the penny, it would be called a JC Penny? If ?Plan A? doesn?t work out, don?t worry cause you?ve got 25 more letters. ?You are free to make your choices, but you are not free to choose the consequen ces." "Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phe nomenon as firstlove? Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that special girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That's relativity." - Albert Einstein. "America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You've got to want it bad, because it's gonna put up a fight. It's gonna say, "You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil who is standing cent er stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lif etime opposing at the top of yours. You want to claim this land as the 'land of the free'? Then the symbol of your country cannot just be a flag. The symbol als o has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protes t. Now show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then you ca n stand up and sing about the 'land of the free.'" -movie The American President "They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people." -Eddie Izzard America is still a nation separated by color. Red vs. Blue. I like my meat rare. Not that I like it cooked less; I only eat endangered speci es. Sing like no one is listening. Dance like no one is watching. Poop like no one is sitting in the stall next to you. The worst way to hit on a girl is with a bat. A hammer is pretty bad, too. Bad company corrupts good character. "We the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungratef ul. We have done so much for so long with so little, that we are now qualified t o do anything with nothing." To be counted on is the greatest compliment. "And what is it you think you have accomplished? If you seek to aid everyone tha t suffers in the galaxy, you will only weaken yourself and weaken them. It is th e internal struggles, when fought and won on their own, that yield the strongest rewards. You stole that struggle from them, cheapened it. If you care for other s, then dispense with pity and sacrifice and recognize the value in letting them fight their own battles. And when they triumph, they will be even stronger for the victory." -Kreia "Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have liv ed by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life th at will live on in the memories of your loved ones" - Marcus Aurelius "We learn wisdom from failure much more than success. We often discover what we will do, by finding out what we will not do" "So what about that two second fog?" "Dude, you know what was real scary? The fog was yellow!" "...um, maybe that's just from your lights...?" - David and Chuong "People come to my concerts to roast marshmellows on the fire coming out of my a ss." -Ted Nugent I'm not a comedian, I'm a motivational speaker. We all lose our faith at some point in life. Sometimes we just need to remember what we have. -Independence Day "Humanities unfailing capacity to believe what they prefers to be true rather th an what the evidence shows to be likely and possible has always astounded me. We long for a caring Universe which will save us from our childish mistakes, and i n the face of mountains of evidence to the contrary we will pin all our hopes on the slimmest of doubts. God has not been proven not to exist, therefore he must exist" -Academician Prokhor Zakharov, Alpha Centauri Roy: We don't need no education... Moss: Yes you do, you've just used a double negetive! I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned. "The soldier above all others prays for peace, for it is the soldier who must be ar the deepest wounds and scars of war." -Douglas MacArthur "Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can' t help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs." You know you're in love when you cant fall asleep, because reality is finally be tter than your dreams. "My loyalty is never to the leaders. The leaders are meant to lead their people to a better tomorrow, but 9 times out of 10, they're there because they want to make the world better for themselves. Year by year, decade by decade, these guys come through and screw the world over. I'm fighting for three things - my frien ds and family, my country, and my God." "So God tells us whats right by whats easiest? Look at the human body. There are over 50 million different ways you can kill a man, but only one way to create o ne. Does God want us to go around stabbing, shooting, poisoning, or strangling o ur neighbours instead of sharing our love with our wife? Whats right is never th e easy way, if it were it wouldn't need to be whats right." "Mankind points to Gods wrath as proof that we should not worship him. Yeah, tha ts really gonna stop all the wrath." "'Mother' is the name for God on the hearts and lips of all children" - The Crow "We succeeded in taking that picture, and if you look at it, you see a dot. That 's here. That's home. That's us. On it, everyone you ever heard of-- every human being who ever lived-- lived out their lives. The aggregate of all our joys and sufferings, thousands of confident religions, ideologies and economic doctrines , every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer o f civilizations, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every hopef ul child, every mother and father, every inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every superstar, every supreme leader, every saint and sinner in the history of our species, lived there on a mote of dust, s uspended in a sunbeam." --Carl Sagan (spoken while he looked at a photograph Voyager took of the Earth a s it was leaving the Solar System) "The right to an opinion does not include the right to be taken seriously," "Ignorance can be solved with a book. Stupidity requires a shotgun and a shovel. " If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at some guys, throw one o f those little baby-type pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think of how crazy war is, and while they're thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them. -Jack Handy The Constitution is not an instrument for the Government to restrain the people, it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government. - Patrcik Henry "Join me again next week on this episode of "Let's make no fucking sense", when I will be waxing an owl..." You've got the thinking man's vote That's not enough I need a majority! One day you will become marines, and on that day you will become immortal. Becau se marines are not allowed to die without permission. -Full Metal Jacket "You thought we could be decent men in an indecent time. But you were wrong. The world is cruel, and the only morality in a cruel world is chance. Unbiased. Unp rejudiced. Fair. " -Harvey "Two Face" ?Lonliness accepted becomes a gift leading one from a life dominated by tears to the discovery of one's true self and finally to the heart of longing and the lo ve of God.? The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears. I'm reserving judgment on Obama's performance until he's been in office for at l east a day. But if, on January 20th, he's not busy legalizing marijuana, closing Guantanamo Bay, pulling our troops out of Iraq, rebuilding the American image around the wo rld, single-handedly forcing industry to comply with the Kyoto protocols, active ly seeking alternative energy other than biofuels, improving the financial marke ts through innovative legislation, ending "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" in the militar y, reforming the federal government's budgetary problems, lowering taxes for eve ryone except the top 5% immediately, and promoting net neutrality, well then I'm going to be burning an Obama effigy in my front yard on Jan 21, goddammit. Colonel Trautman: It's over Johnny. It's over! Rambo: Nothing is over! Nothing! You just don't turn it off! It wasn't my war! Y ou asked me I didn't ask you! And I did what I had to do to win, for somebody wh o wouldn't let us win! Then I come back to the world, and I see all those maggot s at the airport, protestin' me, spittin', callin' me a baby killer and all kind s of vile crap! Who are they to protest me?! Huh?! Who are they?! Unless they be en me and been there and know what the hell they yellin' about! Colonel Trautman: It was a bad time for everyone, Rambo. It's all in the past no w. Rambo: For you! For me civilian life is nothin'! In the field we had a code of h onor. You watch my back I watch yours. Back here there's nothin'! Col. Trautman: You're the last of an elite group. Don't end it like this. Rambo: Back there I could fly a gunship, I could drive a tank, I was in charge o f million-dollar equipment. Back here I can't even hold a job PARKING CARS! School zone speed limits don't make sense If you run over a kid going 20, it's still going to die. The Mongols ripped through the world like a lawnmower. They were like an army of Batman villains. Only Asian, and on horseback. Racism is okay as long as the other side laughs. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue. Have an awesome day, and know that someone has thought about you today.... Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing. I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies. If you do something because you're a dick, but then it works out okay anyway, yo u're still a dick. The movie "Hotel for Dogs" could be doubly named "Buffet for Asians". I ate a $6,000 pizza the other night- it was half pepperoni, half stegosaurus. Why bother to fight for a future that is nothing more then a dream? To this Supe rman responds: "You know what, Black..? I wouldn't have it any other way. Dreams save us. Dream s lift us up and transform us. And on my soul I swear... until my dream of a wor ld where dignity, honor and justice becomes the reality we all share... I'll nev er stop fighting. Ever." Be careful how you live. You may be the only Bible some people will ever read." "Every man lives for something, only the strong can die for something" If you can choose who you are, you can choose who you can become. "Well...I could start studying for this exam I have in four days..." " What!? Now why would you want to do that? - Roommates and me If evil did not clothe itself in good deeds good men would have stomped it out l ong ago. "Baldrick, what are you doing out there?" "I'm carving something on this bullet sir." "What are you carving?" "I'm carving "Baldrick", sir." "Why?" "It's a cunning plan actually." "Of course it is." "You see, you know they say that somewhere there's a bullet with your name on it ?" "Yes?" "Well, I thought if I owned the bullet with my name on it, I'd never get hit by it, 'cos I won't ever shoot myself." - Blackadder "At it's peak, al-Qaeda was a band of fanatics in possession of small arms and a network of camps in the Afghan desert. Today, they're just a band of fanatics i n possession of small arms - and they should be discussed as such." Dan Gardner - Risk: The science and politics of fear What greater way to start a friendship than one based on faith? "In an age of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act." -George Orwell "Sometimes it is entirely appropriate to kill a fly with a sledge-hammer!" -Major Holdredge. SECRETARY of State Colin Powell put an Iraqi reporter in his place the other day. The scribe tried to sandbag the statesman by asking, "Isn't it true that only 13 percent of young Americans can locate Iraq on a map?" "That may be true," Powell snapped. "You're probably right. But, unfortunately for you, all 13 percent are Marines." People complain that the only two constants in this world are death and taxes, b ut it's just not true. The kid I hit with my car never paid taxes. I overheard a guy say that he was knee-deep in pussy. I was really impressed; I didn't even realize you could go in foot first. "Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decid ed to look beyond the imperfections." -Aristotle "Political correctness is tyranny with manners." -Charlton Heston I suppose if the original poster is going to make blanket statements on a group of individuals based on a few of said individuals, I'll do my own. All liberals are homosexual, each and every single one without exception. The only woman that any of them have ever been close with is when their boyfriends dress up in drag for them. Haikus are easy but sometimes they don?t make sense Refrigerator That's the last straw... Singling out American troops as stupid is absolutely the most mindless thing I'v e ever heard. Yes, the military does employ idiots... everybody employs idiots. The only difference is that you don't see McDonalds employees on the news every day for something like burning a dog. Scratch that, you do see the employee on the news, but they don't bring up the f act that they work at McDonalds when they talk about the stupid moves that they make. I'm more than a little angry about this, because I have 3 friends in the marines , all 3 of them are in the middle east right now, fighting for Bush's stupidity. I will not tolerate people talking bad about the bulk of our military over what an extreme minority of the soldiers do. "Look, all I know is what they taught me at command school. There are certain ru les about a war. Rule number one is young men die. And rule number two is doctor s can't change rule number one." - M.A.S.H "Three hours ago, this man was in a battle. Two hours ago we operated on him. He 's got a fifty-fifty chance. We win some, we lose some. That's what it's all abo ut... no promises, no guaranteed survival... no 'saints in surgical garb.' Our w illingness, our experience, our technique are not enough. Guns and bombs and ant i-personnel mines have more power to take life than we have to preserve it. Not a very happy ending to a movie. But then again, no war is a movie." - M.A.S.H "Well, this is supposed to be an uncensored affair, so in that fashion: Cock, bullocks, pussy, cunt, tits and ass flaps." Throughout the centuries there were men who took first steps down new roads arme d with nothing but their own vision. Their goals differed, but they all had this in common: that the step was first, the road new, the vision unborrowed, and th e response they received--hatred. The great creators--the thinkers, the artists, the scientists, the inventors--stood alone against the men of their time. Every great new thought was opposed. Every great new invention was denounced. The fir st motor was considered foolish. The first airplane was considered impossible. T he power loom was considered vicious. Anesthesia was considered sinful. But the men of unborrowed vision went ahead. They fought, they suffered and they paid. B ut they won. -Ayn Rand "Value" has no meaning other than in relationship to living beings. The value of a thing is always relative to a particular person, is completely personal and d ifferent in quantity for each living human-"market value" is a fiction, merely a rough guess at the average of personal values, all of which must be quantitativ ely different or trade would be impossible. [...] This very personal relationshi p, "value", has two factors for a human being: first, what he can do with a thin g, its use to him... and second, what he must do to get it, its cost to him. The re is an old song which asserts that "the best things in life are free". Not tru e! Utterly false! This was the tragic fallacy which brought on the decadence and collapse of the democracies of the twentieth century; those noble experiments f ailed because the people had been led to believe that they could simply vote for whatever they wanted... and get it, without toil, without sweat, without tears. " -Robert A. Heinlein(exerpt from Starship Troopers) "Something I've noticed about history; there are two types of villains. There ar e the guys who are on the other side, and pose a threat to you and the people yo u care about, and there are the people on your side who are willing, in times of peace to make themselves out to be the bad guys. Y'know, I always admired peopl e like that. People need a bad guy; they need to be able to point at someone and say, 'People like this are everything that is wrong with the world.' You've got to admire someone who loves his country enough that he's willing to become a vi llain for it." A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way,shoot it i n the head. Don't be afraid to be the first to resort to violence. 'This is how I'll always remember you: surrounded by winter; forever young, fore ver beautiful. Rest well, my love - the monster who took you from me will soon l earn that revenge is a dish best served cold...' A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproo f is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. -Douglas Adams "Y'know what the problem with today's youth is? No respect. Now, I'm sure you pr obaby hear that a lot, but let me explain; When I think of respect, I think of t his guy...Volitare, I think his name was. Anyway, he said, 'I don't agree with w hat you have to say, but I'll fight to the death for your right to say it.' Wher e's that? I don't see that anymore. If someone disagrees with someone else, it's always 'Fuck you'. Why? Why can't a guy just have a different opinion than you? No respect, that's why." Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. -Samuel Clemens *"You're gay!" "Yeah, well I stick it in your butt!" "...um..." - Steve and Shawn * this is a rape situation Speak your piece, even if your voice shakes. I heard about this guy who broke into a lion's den at the zoo and got mauled and people were talking about how there should have been better defences put up to prevent people getting into the cage. A friend of mine suggested setting up some kind of deterrent for example, putting some sort of fierce animal in the cage, which would attack anybody who climbed in. The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of ev erything and let the problem solve itself? I helped the EMTs at a car wreck and got blood all over my arms and shirt. It lo oked like I murdered 20 people with a fork... anyway, I walked into a convienian ce store down the street and said my girlfriend needs a tampon. The guy at the c ounter was mortified. I wish my lawn was emo, so it would cut itself. Too many people buy things they don't need, with money they don't have, trying t o impresss people they don't even like... I don't know which fate is worse: No longer being able to wear those millennium New Years novelty glasses after 2010, or having eyes so deformed you can. Ladies and gentlemen. This was war. War is not won by being nice. War is won by "The patient, systematic and total application of overwhelming force". The atom bomb constitutes overwhelming force. Therefore it was nothing more than another act of war. A cruel act of war, but then again, war is about cruelty. Can't stomach the concept of death to prove a point? Be glad the world is no lon ger so cruel as it used to be. You just verbally punched me in the face! -Ralphie May Laughter becomes more valuable as this fucked up world becomes worse. -The Lost and the Damned "I'm drunk, you're Asian, let's f*ck," has never worked as a pick-up line for me . But I refuse to throw it away, at least until I get to try it out on an Asian. My friends and I celebrate the Olympics with our own Beerlympics. It's just like the real Olympics, but all the events are based on drinking. This summer I won the gold medal in losing my job and abusing my wife. In 2012 I hope to add killi ng a pedestrian to that list. If Boba Fett was at the Battle of Waterloo I would immediately change my citizen ship to French. "You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift." "You cannot help small men by tearing down big men." "You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong." "You cannot lift the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer." "You cannot help the poor man by destroying the rich." ?You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than your income.? "You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred." "You cannot establish security on borrowed money." "You cannot build character and courage by taking away men's initiative and inde pendence." "You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves." -William J.H. Boetcker "There's this one celebrity, Rosie O'Donnell, a talk show host, and she said thi s: "I don't know anything about Afghanistan, but I know it's full of terrorists, speaking as a mother." So what is this "speaking as a mother" then? Is that a e uphemism for "talking out of my arse"? "Suspending rational thought for a moment "? As a rational human being, Al-Qaeda are a loose association of psychopathic zeal ots who could be rounded up with a sustained police investigation. But speaking as a parent, they're all eight foot tall, they've got lasers under their moustaches, a huge eye in their foreheads and the only way to kill them is to NUKE every country that hasn't sent us a Christmas card in the the last 20 y ears!! Speaking as a mother." "Sometimes innovation just means throwing an extra handle on it" Did You Know... Peanut butter contains the ingredient rape-seed? Which explains why my sandwhich es are always screaming. "There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which s tates that this has already happened." - Douglas Adams "Any man can live for something, that's just basic human nature. We aspire. Or s omething of that matter. But it takes a different kind of person to fight for so mething, and a hero to die for it" " People always talk about how love is finding the perfect person. The way I see it, love isn't finding the perfect person because no one is, 'cept God of cours e. Love is finding the broken person that you can repair" "The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true" -James Branch Cabell "Why do you build highways?! Highways are built so people from point A can trave l quickly to point B while people from point B travel quickly to point A!Point C is between point A and B, and the people there don't see whats so special about point B that people from A travel there, and whats so special about point A tha t people from B travel there, and they want to know where they want to be. Mr. Prosper wanted a little cottage in point D, which is nowhere special, far aw ay from Points A, B and C, from there he can go to point E, which is the local B ar." -Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy "My computer beat me at chess but it was no match for me at kick boxing." I'm the kind of person who laughs at their mistakes, which is why it's really ha rd for me to hang out with my kids. I want to throw a communist party and have everyone get hammered. It would be si ckle. You know you?re in love with a person when you talk to them for a minimum of 20 minutes a day in your head. "Do you know the difference between reliability and accuracy? If I put someone a gainst a wall and put twelve bullets into it a foot away from their head, these results are reliable but not accurate. You know what would happen if it was accu rate? Yeah, Jimmie here would be dead." Have you ever found yourself at the end of a sequence of events that started wit h ordering a Big Mac, and ended with being roughly sodomized on national televis ion? "The Cylon War is long over, yet we must not forget the reasons why so many sacr ificed so much in the cause of freedom. The cost of wearing the uniform can be h igh, but...sometimes it's too high. You know, when we fought the Cylons, we did it to save ourselves from extinction . But we never answered the question, why? Why are we as a people worth saving? We still commit murder because of greed, spite, jealousy. And we still visit all of our sins upon our children. We refuse to accept the responsibility for anyth ing that we've done. Like we did with the Cylons. We decided to play God, create life. When that life turned against us, we comforted ourselves in the knowledge that it really wasn't our fault, not really. You cannot play God then wash your hands of the things that you've created. Sooner or later, the day comes when yo u can't hide from the things that you've done anymore." -Commander Adama, Miniseries Night One. Pick up line for girls with OCD: "That's a nice dress, but it would look a lot better folded neatly in a drawer" I find it rude when deaf people talk to me with their hands full. There's something about listening to Blue Man Group and reading about Islamic Ji had that meshes together... - me "You must be the change you wish to see in the world" -Ghandi When you play in the grass, you eventually get to the house...wait, what? - Shawn, Steve, and Me "When I die I want to be buried in a washing machine to confuse archaeologists" -Spike Milligan A Ledher associate describes how he would be picked up at the airstrip in a Land Rover driven by naked women--which is so awesome because Land Rovers are qualit y vehicles... "You cannot exaggerate about the Marines. They are convinced to the point of arr ogance, that they are the most ferocious fighters on earth- and the amusing thin g about it is that they are." -Father Kevin Keaney, 1st Marine Division Chaplain, Korean War It must've been awful, you didn't have online porn!? - Cody Hennely "You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do n othing for him." -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the o thers that have been tried." ~Sir Winston Churchil Hay fever and disco fever are very similar. The only difference is with disco fe ver you're snorting cocaine not snot. My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex for my birthday. It's nice, but I think the y misunderstood me when I said, 'I wanna watch'. A sign at the Los Angeles International Airport reads "LAX Security." That doesn 't fill me with confidence. Commitment never dies. Germany, the original Polish remover. Some one told me the phrase "trust people as far as you can throw them", turns o ut I trust babies A LOT. Look at this capitalism with its monopolies, its usury...at this individual free dom, devoid of human sympathy and responsibility for relatives except under forc e of law; at this materialistic attituted which deadens the spirit; at this beha vior, like animals, which you call "free mixing of the sexes"; at this vulgarity which you call "emancipation of women'; at this evil and fanatic racial disrcim ination. - Sayyid Qutb (said in late 1940's) "It is not enough these days to question authority, you?ve got to speak with it too." - Taylor Mali ?Somewhere, someone is practicing. And when you meet him on the ice, face to fac e, one on one, he?ll beat you. Unless that someone who?s practicing is you. So w ork the left, run the stairs, crank the corners. Give it everything you?ve got, every day. And when you get tired and feel like quitting, ask yourself, is the o ther guy tired? Is he quitting?" Slinky + Escalator = Everlasting Fun "I believe everything happens for a reason! People change so you can learn to le t go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they're right, you be lieve lies so that you will eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and s ometimes, good things fall apart, so better things can fall together." --Marilyn Monroe "We have no scars to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace." "The only reason I care about swine flu is because that means I can't eat bacon that much anymore." - Me My only motivation as a soldier is to prevent my family from suffering under opp ression. -Tae guk Gi A meal tastes better with more people at the table. -Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood You know it's bad when AFRICA tells you to get out of their country...for assaul t! Mahatma Gandhi's "seven modern sins": * * * * * * * Wealth without work Pleasure without conscience Knowledge without character Commerce without morality Science without humanity Worship without sacrifice Politics without principle People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they 're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost. -Dalai Lama ?Let every man judge according to his own standards, by what he has himself read , not by what others tell him.? -Albert Einstein ?We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their ow n pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.? -Paulo Coelho Foley artists use everyday objects to create movie sound effects. For example, t o replicate screaming, they use a saw and a leg. The Goodwill by my house burned down. There was over $15 worth of damage. Man, what if there was a gun club president who also had a huge dick? There'd be no stopping that guy. Led Zeppelin was a British rock band who in the 70s repeatedly and flagrantly ro cked the world so fucking hard that scientists can still detect residual vibrati ons in the Earth's mantle to this day. "Sorry I'm late. I was busy predicting the future." "Then why didn;t you predict you'd be late?" "Because shut up!" - Yu gi Oh: The Abridge Series "Well maybe if he loved me he'd get me a Playstation 3." "Well maybe Santa can't afford one." "Well maybe Santa can just go to hell then." "Well maybe Santa thinks he'll see you there after he smothers you with a pillow in your sleep!...pleasant dreams!" - Yu gi Oh: The Abridge Series "Do your duty in all things. You cannot do more, you should never wish to do les s." -Robert E. Lee "It is well that war is so terrible -- lest we should grow too fond of it." -Robert E. Lee "The rung of a ladder was never meant to rest upon, but only to hold a man's foo t long enough to enable him to put the other somewhat higher." ~Thomas Henry Huxley, Life and Letters of Thomas Huxley "Wherever you go, go with all your heart." ~Confucius "Why do you necessarily have to be wrong just because a few million people think you are?" -Frank Zappa This crippling of individuals I consider the worst evil of capitalism. ... An ex aggerated competitive attitude is inculcated into the student, who is trained to worship acquisitive success as a preparation for his future career. - Albert Einstein No mercy.No retreat. No remorse. It appears that the AR-15 is kind of the gun-dweeb's version of Linux: All kinds of modifications can be made to it, but most of them make about as much sense a s tying your dick to a roller skate In the year 3000, youtube, facebook, and twitter will combine to create one supe r timewasting website called 'YouTwitFace' - Conan O'Brian Snakes that eat other snakes look the same during digestion. -"I wonder if Helen Keller ever heard anyone make fun of her" -"Of course not, you idiot. She's dead." My grandparents were married for 68 years. When my grandmother passed away, my g randfather died the very next day. The doctor said he died of a broken heart. An d sternum. When the truck hit him, his neck snapped backwards and it pretty much crushed his spine. His head was unrecognizably maimed. It was actually quite ho rrible. When a world begins it is innocent and pure, but as time goes by the world and i ts people become corrupted by sex, war and other things we pay 10 dollars a tick et to see at AMC. An open battlefield is nothing but a death trap - in war any visible target is a casualty no matter how well protected it may be. The meaning of victory is not the defeat of your enemy but his utter destruction , to eradicate him from living memory, leaving no remnant of his endeavours, cru shing utterly his every achievement and removing from all record his every trace of existence. From that defeat no enemy can ever recover. That is the true mean ing of victory. If a job's worth doing it's worth dying for. Success is measured in blood; yours or your enemy's. What do I ask of my officers? Merely that they do their duty with fire in their bellies and a prayer on their lips. The most dangerous thing on the battlefield is a junior officer with a compass a nd a map. For my own part, I come down on the side of courage. For courage can sometimes m ake a virtue of inexperience. I myself have commanded Imperial Guard troops whos e probitor units have achieved great things, because they were too inexperienced to realise that their goal was impossible. Give me a squad of marines first. But second, give me army troops and a solid wa ll. The past is always with us. Doesn't matter what the press says. Doesn't matter what the politicians or the m obs say. Doesn't matter if the whole country decides that something wrong is som ething right. This nation was founded on one principle above all else: the requi rement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequen ces. When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job i s to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole wo rld - "No, you move." - Captain America The words of the faithful are the mountains. But the deeds of the faithful are t he world. A Heretic may see the truth and seek redemption. He may be forgiven his past and will be absolved in death. A Traitor can never be forgiven. A Traitor will neve r find peace in this world or the next. There is nothing as wretched or as hated in all the world as a Traitor. Lay a fire within your soul and another between your hands, and let both be your weapons. For one is faith and the other is victory and neither may ever be put out. As you can imagine from the name, blister beetles are horrible little creatures that are real pains in the ass. Their main hobbies are slaughtering other insect s, basket weaving and poisoning horses to death. Shrimp are an amazing species, blessed with the rare abilities to be delicious, ugly as a mule's ass and really easy to catch "When it comes to life, confidence is more important than intelligence. Act righ t, and you are right. Always." "Politics is derived from the words 'Poli' meaning many and 'tics' meaning blood sucking parasites." I want to install rear spoilers on my car, but I can't find any bumper stickers that say "Rosebud's His Sled" and "Bruce Willis Is Dead." It must be very confusing for J.K. Rowling to sign her text messages. " How could we scew this up, we have gorgeous, scantily clad women and fire?" - Timewarp Rape games are essentially interactive porn: that is their purpose, the intent b ehind their creation. That having been said: porn is legal in the US, even the raping variety. So I fa il to see us having any right to criticize the Japanese. Also, one must wonder at the source of the uproar behind this: is it that the ra pes are in the games, that they can be performed (as in, they are interactive), or that they are the goal? In the case of the first option, I would like to remind everyone that rape has b een a common factor used in both art, music, and movies for quite some time now (the latter especially so if you're a vivid watcher of Lifetime Movies like my m other is). Before you ban rape in games, you must ban it in all mediums. With regards to the second option: I think that this isn't the real issue people draw with the game either. If rape were put into the game as a tool for pushing the storyline, or just as an extra option added to a sandbox game like GTA (as in, it would be a extra thing to do, and not the overall objective), people woul d get angry, but not as angry as they are now. That's just being realistic: we c an't say NO USING RAPE to game developers, because that's discrimination against the medium. It's in the same school of thought as the Hide Your Children trope of game development, and I object to that. Why should we tell people that they c an't use rape or child violence in games when they could be used to tell a story or make a point? When venturing into the third option, I must say that my morals make me inclined to agree: rape as the goal of a game is disgusting. But should we generally ban rape in games just because of this? Or more importantly: why should we? I think that rape in games, for better or worse, is here to stay. All we can do is use our wallets to decide the context in which it is used. If you put bacon bits on bacon strips you could probably travel back in time. ..."what about those people who don't use ketchup, what do you call them, Al-Qae da? "The same mistakes we made as cavemen, we still make. So maybe we're supposed to fight and hate and torture each other. Maybe suffering and misery is the point of life. Consider that the earth is a processing plant, a factory. Picture a tum bler used to polish rocks: A rolling drum filled with water and sand. Consider t hat your soul is dropped in as an ugly rock, some raw material or a natural reso urce, crude oil, mineral ore. And all the conflict and pain is just abrasive tha t rubs us, polishes our soul, refines us, teaches us over lifetime after lifetim e. Then consider that you've chosen to jump in, again and again knowing this suf fering is your entire reason for coming to earth. The only alternative is we're all just eternally stupid. We fight wars, for peace, for hunger. We love to figh t. We just fight and fight, with our guns or mouths or money. And the planet is never one lick better than it was before us. Maybe we're living the exact way we 're meant to live. Maybe our factory is processing our souls... just fine." People who are brutally honest get more satisfaction out of the brutality than o ut of the honesty. "Because it's up to the people. You can't blame it on the government saying "Oh they're doing this!" and "Oh they're going to put us into war!". We put em there and we allow it and we can change it if we really want to change it. We can cha nge it." -John Lennon "Never let anyone convince you that professional soldiers want war, love war. Th ey know war is horror on a grand scale. They know it must be avoided if at all p ossible, but that it cannot always be avoided. Therefore, they prepare so that w ar's effects can be minimized. Those insane enough to really like war are weeded out early on. Even those that want to fight a war because they feel they have a destiny there, don't really want it. They merely feel in some way that they hav e something to contribute above most other professional soldiers." Gohan: I'M GOING TO EVISCERATE YOU, AND USE YOUR GASTROINTESTINAL TRACT AS A CON DOM WHILE I FORNICATE WITH YOUR SKULL! Nappa: ...Wha? Gohan: I'M GONNA SKULLF**K YOU! - DBZ Abridged money is only worth what you do with it I'm certain Survivor is just a reality show about America. The last person still actually watching is the winner. You're not supposed to follow the bible word for word. It's merely a book of sto ries meant to enlighten one's life. It teaches not to steal and not to murder, n ot to lust or be greedy.You're not supposed to take it literally. Remember also this was written long ago, when stoning was acceptable punishment. Times change and so do traditions, but the general lessons taught should be the same. Whether it is 'real' or not, whether God exists or not, the Bible is an excellen t guideline for us all. When asked which was the most important commandment Jesu s said "Love thy neighbour." How can you object to that? When it comes to subjec ts such as homosexuality and eating shrimps (!!!) the Bible does indeed suffer f or being about 2000 years old because these things change with time, societies c ome and go on them, make up their own minds. And, in fairness, do you really thi nk God minds whether you eat shrimp or love men? But "Love thy neighbour." that really is timeless. Some soldiers are heroes. Some heroes are soldiers. Not all soldiers are heroes. Not all heroes are soldiers. "The Oath I took to serve my country, did not include a contract for normal luxu ries or comforts enjoyed by others; on the contrary, it implied hardship, discip line, and dedication to duty, regardless of rank." I've been having a rough week. My dog was stolen, my car was run over, and my do ctor diagnosed me with dyslexia. She said that I always think with my penis, so I asked her to blow my mind. "Let companies and people who make mistakes FAIL. From failure lessons are taugh t." I locked up my bicycle and someone stole my front tire and my seat. I'm on the l ookout for anyone riding a unicycle. They say that there's no use beating a dead horse. So, are they implying that it 's efficient to beat a horse as long as it's alive? Is it me, or do crickets have really shitty taste in comedy? That's more adorable than puppies covered with ice cream. Today, Truman is back at work at a desk job. He says he can still do the things he did before the accident like swimming, playing with his kids and screaming, " Fuck you!" at every train he passes. Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish eac h moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as impor tant as how we have lived. - Jean Luc Picard Alexander, Caesar, Charlemagne, and I have founded empires. But on what did we r est the creations of our genius? Upon force. Jesus Christ founded his empire upo n love; and at this hour millions of men would die for him. ? Napoleon Bonaparte To maintain one's ideals in ignorance is easy; to maintain them with the full re alization of the existing circumstances is not. ? Uta Hagen "Ridicule serves a vital purpose in human culture and communication. Few things can shine the light on incongruity as effectively. So if we believe that the har sh eye of the comedian can help identify the flaws in politics and relationships and society as a whole, and thus help improve it, then we must believe the same thing with religion... If you hate that some element of your faith is being hel d up as ridiculous, perhaps it's because deep down you know that it is ridiculou s. And maybe that element needs to be looked at with a more critical eye. If you believe in a creator, then you have to believe that all of those mental process es?humor, logic, reason, critical thinking?are given by the creator to help us s ee our way through the world. If there is a religion that cannot withstand press ure applied by those processes, then it cannot be from the creator who gave them to us." ? David Wong [T]hose people going around saying things like "government is the problem" are e ither complete idiots or, at best, people who don't bother thinking things throu gh with enough effort to avoid sounding like complete idiots. When they say "gov ernment is the problem" what they're really saying is "Having a state police for ce is the problem." Having a justice system is the problem. Having schools is th e problem. Providing care for the indigent elderly and the physically or develop mentally disabled is the problem. Public transportation is the problem. This is what they're saying, whether or not they care enough to realize that this is wha t they're saying. And what they're saying is indefensible and abysmally stupid. ? Fred Clark Christianity met the mythological search for romance by being a story, and the p hilosophical search for truth by being a true story. ? G. K. Chesterton Above all we must at all times remember what intellectuals habitually forget: th at people matter more than concepts and must come first. ? Paul Johnson Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle. ? Philo of Alexandria Ships in harbour are safe, but that is not what ships are for The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. -Mahatma Gandhi It's impossible to turn on the news or go the movies without hearing about some disease or cataclysm that's about to end the world. There's a movie coming (2012 ) that as far as we can tell is about every apocalypse happening at once, and in the news the flavor of the week is swine flu--though so far the fatality rate h as fallen rather short of, say, Popsicles. The phrase "God works in mysterious ways" is completely untrue. God's ways are p erfect and holy, and in no way mysterious. The only thing "mysterious" is that o ur FINITE little minds cannot in any way, shape, fashion, or form fully comprehe nd the INFINITE perfection of God's plan. Once we can understand that we don't u nderstand, then God's ways aren't "mysterious" anymore; they become beautifully "surprising" I got a fortune cookie at this Irish pub and it said, "this is weird." Modern empiricism demands that everything be observable, definable, and repeatab le, or it doesn't exist. Modern science is so completely full of itself it has d ecided it is the only possible answer to absolutely everything. God does not fit into the modern empiricist's view and cannot be observed, defined, or made in a test tube, and therefor cannot exist, they say. Of course, in the end, everyone still has faith in science, as the average person doesn't have access to a part icle accelerator, or knowledge of quantum physics, even if they did. In short, m ost people are actually taking scientists' word for it, in much the same way peo ple of faith take holy books' or religious leaders' word for it. It was actually quite amusing to me, the day I realized that modern science is in many ways a r eligion. I came out of the closet to my parents last night... Scared the sh*t out of 'em! I wouldn't say I believe in God, but I do believe in something bigger and higher than us. Thats why I believe in a bear on stilts. Ever since I got pregnant, everyone asks whether I'm hoping for a boy or a girl. I just hope my penis still works after it comes out. ?Logic dictates that the surest, swiftest method of victory over this insurrecti on is the application of quick and ruthless retribution upon the perpetrators. W ar cannot be diminished through illogical arguments of humanity or morality. It must be accepted as the condition it is?brutal, deadly, and lawless. The applica tion of laws or moral codes to the method in which war is carried out cannot be described as anything less than sheer human arrogance, for which we shall pay th e lives of the common soldier as the sacrifice.? Why no, I have no idea what would prompt a kid to combine two ridiculously hard things like playing Guitar Hero on expert while solving (two) Rubik?s cubes. May be he?s trying to invent one of those ridiculous Guinness World Records that sho uldn?t exist, like the world record for the most M&Ms stuffed in one?s mouth whi le tap dancing on a flamingo. At last nights Teen Choice Awards, Britney Spears was handed a lifetime achievme nt award, once again reminding us why we don't let teens vote. - Conan O'Brian I'm a bit torn about attacking the protests at the health care town halls, even assuming they're organized. I mean, that's sort of what democracies are ab out.These protests do worry me, but for a different reason -- they worry me beca use they're a test of whether our media instititions are capable of informing th e public.To back up, I completely agree with Josh Marshall that physical threats and disruptions are different from protests. Those cross the line.But the mere fact that industry groups are organizing these protests doesn't really bother me . Progressives should be countering rather than complaining about it. My anti-in surer cred is hopefully strong by now, but even the dread insurers can send peop le to meetings if they want.What does trouble me, though, is the misinformation. Many protesters (along with many Republican/talk radio critiques) are just flat -out lying about what the coverage reform bills do. There's really no way to sug arcoat it -- they're lying. And the lies are going out in a coordinated way ampl ified by modern communications networks (blogs, 24 hour cable, email forwards, D rudge, talk radio, etc.).This misinformation campaign poses a deep and fundament al challenge to our country. I mean, the whole idea behind the marketplace of id eas is that it will inform and educate the public. To disseminate lies (and to d o it effectively) challenges our democracy in a very fundamental way.But that sa id, there's nothing you can really do about it -- that's one of the necessary co sts of freedom of speech. The challenge of addressing it falls to our media inst itutions.And so here's the question -- can our media inform the public? If peopl e are lying, will the public know? Our media institutions failed us in the run-u p to the Iraq War. They failed not because the war happened, but because the pub lic wasn't properly informed.And by "media," I don't just mean Chris Matthews an d AP newspaper stories. I'm talking broadly about blogs, social networks, and ot her new media. Can our collective institutions inform the public this time aroun d? That's all I want -- I want people to be informed. If the bill is so wretched , there shouldn't be any need to lie about its contents.In sum, people can show up and yell at Representatives all they want -- that's a time-honored tradition. But if they're going to lie, the public needs to know that they're lying. Our s ystem doesn't really work otherwise.In this sense, the importance of the health coverage debate goes far beyond health care. It will also determine whether Amer ican institutions are capable of dealing with important problems. Can the Senate with its malapportionment and filibusters solve a real problem? We're about to find out.In short, the health care debate will determine whether David Simon is right about America and its institutions. When I was little I was allergic to strawberries. Last week I tried a strawberry , and to my surprise, I still hate my mother. God doesn't get mad. He gets even. I want to get a full body tattoo of my own body, only 2 inches to the left, so I can stand outside 3D movies and really mess with people. In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a pos ition over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We th rive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter tr uth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average pie ce of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. - Ratatouille Stan, you all right in there? Yeah dad, we're just practicing with our band. Oh, I thought a group of Vietnamese people were having their intestines pulled o ut of their mouths.. - South Park Golf with air horns, explosions, or the occasional rugby tackle would be much mo re respectable "Mr al-Megrahi did not show his victims any comfort or compassion. They were not allowed to return to the bosom of their families to see out their lives, let al one their dying days. No compassion was shown by him to them," he said. ... "But that alone is not a reason for us to deny compassion to him and his family in his final days." ... "Compassion and mercy are about upholding the beliefs the we seek to live by, re maining true to our values as a people - no matter the severity of the provocati on or the atrocity perpetrated," he added. -Kenny MacAskill "I want the sky to fracture under the impossible weight of an apology because I' m sorry. I'm sorry that I want so much. I'm sorry that I'm using "I'm sorry" as a crutch to lean on for so long but if you sing me that song of sweet logic agai n then I promise to make the effort to stand on my own. There is a reason that o ur hearts are more like a muscleand less like a bone. I've known so many people who've have grown up flexing in front of mirrors and falling for their own refle ction as if that's adequate but that's bullshit. Because we only get now until t he time we go and if they've only got time to love themselves then nobody is goi ng to be around to hear the sound of their heartbeat echo.So lady, don't expect an apology when I tell you I'm only held together by a heart that pumps blue, it 's the strongest muscle in my body and I'm flexing it for you." -Apology, Shane Koyczan "That's 'cause we all wanna be problemless. To fix ourselves. We look for some m agic solution to make us all better, but none of us really know what we're doing . And why is that so bad? That's all we humans can do. Guess. Try. Hope. But, Ju stin, just pray you don't fool yourself into thinking you've got the answer. Bec ause that's bullshit. The trick is living without an answer. I think. " - From the movie Thumbsucker ?Mankind as it is constituted is a boil and a canker. Observe the specimens in a ny nation other than Lakedaemon. Man is weak, greedy, craven, lustful, prey to e very species of vice and depravity. He will lie, steal, cheat, murder, melt down the very statues of the gods and coin their gold as money for whores. This is m an, this is his nature, as all the poets attest.?Fortunately God in his mercy ha s provided a counterpoise to our species? innate depravity. That gift, my young friend, is war.?War, not peace, produces virtue. War, not peace, purges vice. Wa r, and preparation for war, call forth all that is noble and honorable in a man. It unites him with his brothers and binds them in a selfless love, eradicating in the crucible of necessity all which is base and ignoble. There in the holy mi ll of murder the meanest of men may seek and find that part of himself, conceale d beneath the corrupt, which shines forth brilliant and virtuous, worthy of hono r before the gods.?Do not despise war, my young friend, nor delude yourself that mercy and compassion are virtues superior to andreia, to manly valor.? -Polynikes. The Moon landing was a hoax. It was actually Mars. We didn't want to brag. Just the other day, John McCain had an angry woman thrown out of a townhall meet ing for refusing to stop yelling. Apparently, he hasn't patched things up with S arah Palin. - Conan O'Brian But we can?t do that; it would make us as bad as her.? ?Semantics,? Padma sniffed. ?Treating someone as they deserve does not make us as bad as her.? First Bush was Hitler, now Obama is Hitler. Let?s clear something up right now. All U.S. Presidents are gonna have some bad ideas, regardless of which political party they?re in, but until they've decide d to kill 6,000,000+ people for having ?inferior genes? let?s hold off on the na me calling. A morning of akwardness is far better than a night of loneliness. By elementary school, you're old enough to like girls but young enough that you' re embarrassed to admit it. Who you have a crush on is the BIGGEST secret a 10-y ear-old can have. Seriously, I water-boarded my little brother and he still woul dn't tell me. Kidding, of course. I don't have a little brother. He was my cousin. "If there is a lesson to be learned from the history of the Caesars from Augustu s to Romulus, it is that government must represent the collective moral wisdom o f society. It is the duty of an administration not simply to ensure justice and peace for its people, but also to create a viable way for those people to make t heir voices heard. Government that withdraws from the realities of the world aro und it, or simply asserts banal 'truths' that have little resonance with the opi nions of its people, ultimately only erodes the very foundation of society. The fall of the western Roman empire was not so much the result of barbarian invasio n as of a failure of imagination in assimilating the new arrivals. Appeals to pr edjudice and fantasies about the nature of the world were then, and always will be, a recipe for disaster." -David Potter From Marcus Aurelius' Meditations (trans. Needleman & Piazza)... When you see the shameless behaviour of someone, immediately ask yourself: IS it possible for there to be no shameless people in the world? Impossible, so do no t ask for what is possible, for this person, too, is one of those shameless peop le who are destined to exist in the world. Let this thought be at hand also for the villain, the lair, and everyone who has gone astray. For when you remember t hat this type of person cannot help but exist, you will be kinder toward each an d every one of them. It is also useful immediately to consider this: what power has Nature given us f or dealing with such people? For She has given us kindness as an antidote for th e arrogant, and other faculties for dealing with other difficulties. In a word, it is in your power to teach whoever has lost his way, and everyone who is in er ror is so in relation to his true goal and has gone astray from that goal. And h ow has this harmed you? For you will discover that not one of those who have mad e you angry has done anything which makes your mind worse, and it is there, in y our understanding, that all evil and harm have dwelling. What is evil or even strange about an ignorant person doing ignorant things? Rat her, see to it that you aren't to blame for not anticipating that this person wo uld be in error; remember that you possess the resources of Reason (logos), whic h will allow you to see that this person will most likely be mistaken, and yet y ou have forgotten, and so you are amazed when he does so. But, most important, whenever you accuse someone of being a liar or unkind, turn inward to yourself, for the fault clearly lies with you, either because you tru sted that such a person would keep his word or because, once you had given a fav or,you did not do this unconditionally and you forgot that you received the enti re fruit of your action in that moment. For what more do you want, dear man, onc e you have done something good? Do you want some additional compensation? Does t he eye demand wages for seeing or the feet walking? Just as these were made for something and, in accomplishing their task, gain what is truly theirs, so too is man naturally a doer of good actions, and when he has done such an action, he h as accomplished what he was made for and received what is truly his. People will then often say, ?But surely it?s better to remain an Agnostic just i n case?? This, to me, suggests such a level of silliness and muddle that I usual ly edge out of the conversation rather than get sucked into it. (If it turns out that I?ve been wrong all along, and there is in fact a god, and if it further t urned out that this kind of legalistic, cross-your-fingers-behind-your-back, Cli ntonian hair-splitting impressed him, then I think I would choose not to worship him anyway.) ? Douglas Adams "Do you believe in fate or free will?" " Well, there's definitely forces at work that influence the courses of our live s. Whether these "forces" can be ascribed to a divine will, a more esoteric conc ept such as "fate" or merely the inevitable culmination of all previous events, I can't say. I do know this however. Though we all end the same, it's the decisi ons that we make on the way that make our lives unique. - 8-Bit Theater 415 ?Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything go od in the world.? - Helen Keller "I can't be sure whether a persons destiny is like a cloud floating on a current that it can't escape. or if people are able to ride on whatever breeze they cho se, I don't know, I don't completely understand it yet, and maybe the destinatio n is the same no matter what you chose. Just when you chose one course along com es someone whose picked a different path, one that's devoted to living life to i t's fullest, there's real strength to be found in this love of life. I finally u nderstand that because of this latest experience, now i have only one goal, to b ecome stronger so that I don't lose to anyone again, that is what I feel my goal is now" It is only the ignorant who despise education. --Publilius Syrus Jesus came down from heaven to replace those 10 commandments with just 1- selfle ss, pure love. And that's what I believe, in my Roman Catholic mind. Adversity reveals genius, prosperity conceals it" - Horace Anyone who uses the phrase "easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried ta king candy from a baby. Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side and a dark side, if used proper ly it binds the universe together, and if used inproperly it sticks your cats to the wall. Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh, my God... I could be eating a slow learner. The shin bone is an evolution of man that was created to help find furniture in the dark. Make somthing idiot-proof and someone out there will invent a better idiot. "Remember Luke, the suffering of one man is the suffering of all. Distances are irrelevant to injustice. If not stopped soon enough, evil eventually reaches out to engulf all men, whether they have opposed it or ignored it." -Obi Wan Kenobi in the novel version of A New Hope "If there ever comes a day when we can't be together keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever" -Winnie The Pooh "Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day." -Winnie The Pooh "If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and s marter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i' ll always be with you." -Winnie The Pooh "You also rule a world, Morpheus. A world of sleepers and dreamers, of stories. A simple place compared to hell. I envy you. Can you imagine what it was like? T en billion years providing a place for dead mortals to torture themselves? And l ike all masochists, they called the shots. 'Burn me.' 'Freeze me.' 'Eat me.' 'Hu rt me.' And we did. Why do they blame me for all their little failings? They use my name as if I spent my entire day sitting on their shoulders, forcing them to commit acts they would otherwise find repulsive. 'The Devil made me do it.' I h ave never made any one of them do anything. Never." - Lucifer "When I was 5 years old, my mom always told me that happiness is the key to life . When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wro te down "happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment and I told them they didn't understand life." Let go of what kills you. And hold on to what keeps you breathing?? - SpongeBobSquarePants. The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money. For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone. People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed , and redeemed; Never throw out anybody. Remember, If you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your ar m. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yo urself, the other for helping others. The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carr ies, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in h er eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is ref lected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that s he shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows! - Sam Levenson "Never compromise... even in the face of armageddon." -Rorscach "Silence is Golden, but Duct Tape is silver" Are socks like condoms for people with foot fetishes? Going though airport security is like a really boring obstacle course. "Is there anything worse than a forced laugh?" "...rape?" "...I don't think he meant in that way..." - Brian Cvengros and me China: Are you willing to lose California over this? US:...yes? Watching Boondock Saints is a pre-requisite for becoming a man. " The craft of Freemasonry has given me a deep respect for that which transcends human understanding. I've learned never to close my mind to an idea simply beca use it seems miraculous." - The Lost Symbol. "There's a difference," Langdon said," between the existence of gravity...and th e ability to transform objects with a touch of your hand." " Is there? Is it not possible that we are still living in the Dark Ages, still mocking the suggestion of "mystical" forces that we cannot see or comprehend. Hi story, if it has taught us anything at all, has taught us that the strange ideas we deride today will one day be our celebrated truths. I claim I can transform this pyramid with a touch of my finger, and you question my sanity. I would expe ct more from an historian. History is replete with great minds who have all proc laimed the same thing...great minds who have all insisted that man possesses mys tical abilities of which he is unaware." - The Lost Symbol "From the Crusades, to the Inquisition, to American Politics- the name Jesus had been hijacked as an ally in all kinds of power struggles. Since the beginning o f time, the ignorant had always screamed the loudest, herding the unsuspecting m asses and forcing them to do their bidding. They defended their worldly desires by citing Scripture they did not understand. They celebreated their intolerance as proof of their convictions. Now, after all these years, mankind had finally m anaged to utterly erode everything that had once been so beautiful about Jesus." - The Lost Symbol Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first? "The object in life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape find ing oneself in the ranks of the insane.? - Marcus Aurelius " It'll last until you do something stupid" " ...well, that won't take too long." - Matt and Me A true leader has the confidence to stand alone, the courage to make tough decis ions, and the compassion to listen to the needs of others. He does not set out t o be a leader, but becomes one by the quality of his actions and the integrity o f his intent. If you put a scale upside down on the floor it would just explode under the weig ht of the world. When an action is born out of necessity, it is rarely strange. VMI life is like a fire alarm. Randomly occuring and annoying as Fuck - Andrew Compton "Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys, in a p ocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd be t my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time..." We vegetarians love the environment. carnivores are sick freaks. How can vegetarians possibly love the environment.. you keep eating all the fucking plants "I'm hoping it leads to me getting kids, eventually." "So how many are you hoping for, five?" "No, wait he's a Pacific Islander, make it twelve." "I'm Catholic too so that makes it twenty-four." - Roommates and me Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. The cow mooed when I mooned the door because the hugbees ate the bacon that I so domized. - Steve and me *singing to Miley Cyrus song" "Lemme smell yo dick" "...right as the OD walks by." " Wouldn't Jason walk in and be like what the fuck?" " He'd probably pull out his wang." " Then he'd have to bone himself...wait." - Steve, Shawn, and me The hognose snake is venomous, so you might think that's all the defense it'd ne ed. The problem is it only has small fangs at the back of its mouth, so you'd on ly have to worry about a hognose bite if it was deep-throating you and we're gue ssing you gents have already tossed caution to the wind when you're taking that for a run. A true optimist would think the glass is half awesome. The only thing worse than having to poop in public is trying to poop in public a nd not being able to. "I'm 50% Black..." " You know, 100 years ago that used to matter..." - Paul Belmont "Dad who won the Mexican-American War?" "Well, who ended up with Texas son?" "...so Mexico won then?" "I was sleeping in a field and woke up surrounded by cows. I was scared, I thoug ht they were going to eat me!" "At least it wasn't velociraptors sir." - Maj. Brooke and Kier The Beginning of the Ultimate Physics problem: A Velociraptor in a pick-up truck is pulling a crate, filled with more velociraptors up a hill when a t-rex in a monster truck with baby arms made of fire is chasing him... ?Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you al lows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to f ind people who will understand you, someone to fill that space. And intelligent, sensitive person is the exception, the very great exception. If you expect to f ind people who will understand you, you will grow murderous with disappointment. The best you?ll ever do is to understand yourself, know what it is that you wan t, and not let the cattle stand in your way.? ? ?White Oleander? by Janet Fitch "It is a shameful example to observe today how the entire democratic world disso lves in tears of pity, but then in spite of it's obvious duty to help, closes it s heart to the poor, tortured people." - Adolf Hitler They're not talking about building a machine that spits out fully-grown human ph otocopies. They're talking about cloning embryos and letting them grow up normal ly. You can still think they're unnatural and weird, in the sense that you are a lso free to think identical twins are unnatural and weird. But if you treat them as less than human, you're the dick in that situation. "There's a little guy in your computer right now...probably Korean." "How about if I put it in...BOLD, Red print with...Fucking Fireworks around it." "Is there any rational for anything you do here?" - Capt. Turner "Since alot of people here like to make blanket statements about groups of peopl e based on unfair assumptions predicated on the acts of individuals, I figure th at I'll join that bandwagon as well: All Athletes are shitbags, all rankers are toolbags, all privates are shitbags, All Marines are idiots, all Army guys are l azy and ineffectual, all Navy and Air Force people are lazy fucks." You shouldn't give up. Fight for yourself and who you are. You've got to go through the worst times in life to get the best. I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry,but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel. I've learned that no matter how good a friend is,they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself. I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give,when a friend cri es out to you,you will find the strength to help. "There are some questions that you ask yourself here that you really don't want to know the answer too." "Like, why is my roommate on top of me at 3 in the morning?" "..." - Matt and me Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize on the same day we bombed the moon. The confession was prompted when Bower's wife noticed unexplained high mileage o n his car and began to suspect him of having an affair, though Cracked feels tha t after learning the truth--that Bower was actually going out at night with anot her man to flatten hectares of wheat--she may actually have wished that adultery was to blame. I never watched star wars. Jesus, Mary, Jospeh and the wee donkey. You what? You should be banned for a wee k. Not from I-A-B, I mean from Life in general. Now go to your room and think ab out what happened here today. We are at the very beginning of time for the human race. It is not unreasonable that we grapple with problems. But there are tens of thousands of years in the f uture. Our responsibility is to do what we can, learn what we can, improve the s olutions, and pass them on. -Richard Feynman There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. -Josh Billings If liberty means anything at all it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear. -George Orwell The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering. -Brandon Lee Whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing well. -Phillip Stanhope What if this weren't a hypothetical question? Evil is powerless if the good are unafraid. -Ronald Reagan Work like you don?t need money, love like you?ve never been hurt, and dance like no one?s watching The mind of a bigot is like the pupil of the eye. The more light you shine on it , the more it will contract. -Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. Lasting change is a series of compromises. And compromise is all right, as long your values don't change. -Jane Goodall Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appa lling waste of energy; you can't build on it; it's only for wallowing in. -Katherine Mansfield There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. -Washington Irving Adversity makes men, and prosperity makes monsters. -Victor Marie Hugo It is not fair to ask of others what you are unwilling to do yourself. -Eleanor Roosevelt Manhood and Christlikeness Are Synonymous - I don't know what tomorrow holds - b ut I know who holds tomorrow. Every novel is post-apocalyptic if you're a dinosaur. Laugh when you can, apologize when you should. Let go of what you can't change. Kiss slowly, play hard, forgive quickly, take chances, give everything, and have no regrets. Life is too short to be anything but happy. I swear, you're like some type of cock-blocking robot developed in some secret f ucking government lab. - Zombieland It is your duty to continue fighting until a decison has been made. Then you mus t be loyal -Mindset of George C. Marshall - While watching Korean covers of the Backstreet boys" "Hey Justin, there's a girl in this video who looks like Lady GaGa..." "So she has a penis?" "..." - Shawn and Me Walking your talk is a great way to motivate yourself. No one likes to live a li e. Be honest with yourself, and you will find the motivation to do what you advi se others to do. On Tila Tequila: 3. Conspiracy theorists suggest she's a secret U.S. Army attempt to combine ev ery STD in existence into the ultimate biological weapon. Naysayers point out U. S. Army projects never work that well. "If I can't take you at your worst then I don't deserve you at your best." To everyone here, My daughter died yesterday. She took her own life. I am not telling you usually happy people here this to garner sympathy, but to a sk some of you to do something for me in her name. Please, Oh God, please, if you are in pain, if you are in soul torment, tell the ones who love you. Tell them how you feel. Don't lie to them with smiles and jo kes, don't make them feel that everything is alright when it isn't. Tell them. T ell them now. Don't hide from them. You will not disappoint them with your failures, they aren 't failures, they are lessons. And the people who love you know this. Don't force yourself into the world when you are wounded, the people who love yo u will shelter you until you are healed. And please, please do not leave them behind as we have been left behind. This is how I will always remember you, my Leahbelle. Wait for me in The SummerL ands. I miss you, my baby. I will always love you. Mummy. "Is that a Venezuelan Calculator?" "Instead of batteries it uses units of cocaine..." - Winkler and Chang "There's a point in life when you get tired of chasing everyone and trying to fi x everything, but it's not giving up. It's realizing that you don't need certain people and their crap." Scientists have recently discovered that naked mole rats are immune to cancer. W hile they're trying to figure out what it is about them that makes them immune, I think the answer is very, very simple: they can't get cancer because they're n aked, therefore if we want to avoid cancer we have to be naked, ALL the time. ?The truest characters of ignorance are vanity, and pride and arrogance.? - Samuel Butler Learning and innovation go hand in hand. The arrogance of success is to think th at what you did yesterday will be sufficient for tomorrow. - William Pollard ?Leadership is an opportunity to serve. It is not a trumpet call to self-importa nce.? - J. Donald Walters You say that your hope is in God, and he will, I am sure, stand by you. But you must not forget that you have been given worldly means to use and employ against human arrogance and wrong; it is necessary to see such things with a broad mind in order to oppose them. - Knute Nelson What is wrong with us human beings, and has been wrong since time immemorial, is that without ever stating it in so many words, we believe that we have entered the realm of immortality. We behave as if we are never going to die - an infanti le arrogance. But even more injurious than this sense of immortality is what com es with it : the sense that we can engulf this inconcievable universe with our m inds. - Carlos Castaneda When men are the most sure and arrogant they are commonly the most mistaken, giv ing views to passion without that proper deliberation and suspense which alone c an secure them from the grossest absurdities. - David Hume All your life, you have heard yourself denounced; not for your faults, but for y our greatest virtues. You have been hated, not for your mistakes, but for your a chievements. You have been scorned for all those qualities of character which ar e your highest pride. You have been called selfish for the courage of acting on your own judgment and bearing sole responsibility for your own life. You have be en called arrogant for your independent mind. You have been called cruel for you r unyielding integrity. You have been called anti-social for the vision that mad e you venture upon undiscovered roads. You have been called ruthless for the str ength and self-discipline of your drive to your purpose. You have been called gr eedy for the magnificence of your power to create wealth. You, who've expended a n inconceivable flow of energy, have been called a parasite. You, who've created abundance where there had been nothing but wastelands and helpless, starving me n before you, have been called a robber. You, who've kept them all alive, have b een called an exploiter. You, the purest and most moral man among them, have bee n sneered at as a 'vulgar materialist.' Have you stopped to ask them: by what ri ght? - by what code? - by what standard? - Ayn Rand The fist bump of peace. One letter makes a BIG difference when it comes to the meaning of a word. I.E. a sking for more crucifers for mass, and asking for more CRUCIFIERS for mass. Whoo ps. - Me "What is the meaning of life?" "The real question is whether life has any meaning at all?" 90 people get Swine Flu and everyone wants to wear a mask. A million people have AIDS and no one wants to wear a condom. "Love is like a Rubix Cube, there are countless numbers of wrong twists and turn s, but when you get it right, it looks perfect no matter what way you look at it ." - Brian Cramer Tradition is what you resort to when you don't have the time or the money to do it right. - Kurt Herbert Alder In science, 'fact' can only mean 'confirmed to such a degree that it would be pe rverse to withhold provisional assent.' I suppose that apples might start to ris e tomorrow, but the possibility does not merit equal time in physics classrooms. - Stephen Jay Gould (1941 - 2002) If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things. - Rene Descartes Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itse lf. - John Adams I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go. My own wisdom, and that of all about me, seemed insuff icient for that day. - Abraham Lincoln Whereas it is the duty of nations as well as of men, to own their dependence upo n the overruling power of God, to confess their sins and transgressions in humbl e sorrow, yet with assured hope that genuine repentance will lead to mercy and p ardon, and to recognize the sublime truth announced in the Holy Scriptures and p roven by all history, that those nations only are blessed whose God is the Lord. - Abraham Lincoln Have we now forgotten this powerful Friend? Or do we imagine we no longer need H is assistance? I have lived, Sir, a long time, and the longer I live, the more c onvincing proofs I see of this truth; that God governs in the affairs of men. An d if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without His notice, is it probable that an empire can rise without His aid? We have been assured, Sir, in the Sacred Wr itings, that 'except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it' . I firmly believe this. - Benjamin Franklin find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep? wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you?re just as pretty without makeup on. one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you? the one who turns to his friends and says, ?that?s her!? ~ anon ~ Radio interview quote from Marine Corps General Reinwald and a female rad io host. He wants to host some boy scouts at the training center for some practi ce excercises. As follows : So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach t hese young boys when they visit your base? : We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and s hooting. : Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it? : I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range. : Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children? : I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle disci pline before they even touch a firearm. : But you're equipping them to become violent killers. : Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one , are you? The radio went silent and the interview ended. You gotta love the Marines! Crocs are for people who have given up on life. Don't worry about being popular. The "weird" kids are much more fun and will end up being your most interesting friends. Also, when it comes to friends, you can 't trump quality with quantity. Choose wisely. Who would you call to drive your white Bronco? Speaking of sports, pick a team and stick with them. There are few things more i mportant in life than loyalty. It's a dying trait currently in short supply. Tru st me. I'm a Mets fan. Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage it the quiet voice at the end of the day saying," I will try again tomorrow." - Mary Anne Radmacher As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a lig ht in the darkness of mere being. - Carl Jung Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or har d work. It meants to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your h eart. ?When I am able to resist the temptation to judge others, I can see them as teac hers of forgiveness in my life, reminding me that I can only have peace of mind when I forgive rather than judge.? - Gerald Jampolsky What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail? The fact that Beethoven was deaf was actually an incredible boon for his live pe rformances - losing his hearing had heightened his other senses. giving him the strength to lift up his grand piano and smash it on stage after every show. ?The reward for conformity is that everyone likes you but yourself.? - Rita Mae Brown "Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy." - Eskimo Proverb As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever le t you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than onc e and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt w hen yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new lov e for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast and you 'll eventually lose someone you love. So take TOO many pictures, laugh TOO much and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. "The angels are always near to those who are grieving, to whisper to them that t heir loved ones are safe in the hand of God." - Eileen Elias Freeman "For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with H im those who sleep in Jesus." Be kinder than necessary 'cause everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battl e. Whatever your cross, whatever your pain, there will always be sunshine, after the rain.... Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps even fall; But God's always ready, to answer your call.... He knows every heartache, sees every tear, a word from His lips, can calm every fear... Your sorrows may linger, throughout the night, But suddenly vanish, by dawn's early light... The Savior is waiting, somewhere above, to give you His grace, and send you His love. May God fill your day with blessings!! Should the American people chose to ignore the sarcifice of its noble one percen t, then may it reap the whirlwind it so justly deserves. Beware the anger of the Legions. To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affect ion of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betra yal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeem ed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded. - Ralph Waldo Emerson "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." - Martin Luther King Jr. People can have many different kinds of pleasure. The real one is that for which they will forsake for others. - Marcel Proust When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at t he closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us. - Helen Keller Maturity is knowing WHEN to back down, not to always do it. I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and ki ndness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers. - Kahlil Gibran A person may cause evil to others not only by his actions but by his inaction, a nd in either case he is justly accountable to them for the injury. - John Stuart Mill It is the secret of the world that all things subsist and do not die, but only r etire a little from sight and afterwards return again. Nothing is dead; men feig n themselves dead, and endure mock funerals and mournful obituaries, and there t hey stand looking out of the window, sound and well, in some new strange disguis e. Jesus is not dead; he is very well alive; nor John, nor Paul, nor Mahomet, no r Aristotle; at times we believe we have seen them all, and could easily tell th e names under which they go. - Ralph Waldo Emerson The purpose of the expressive freedoms embodied in the First Amendment is not to simply permit the greatest possible scope of expression, but also, in so doing, to also strive for excellence in the conveyances of ideas. In three words, describe the worst day ever: 1.) Manatees 2.) Jetpacks 3.) Rayguns Our time on this earth is precious and unpredictable. No man knows the hour nor the weather on the day he finds his wings to paradise. What we can do is pray; p ray for the living, pray for the peace of those who have gone ahead, and finally pray that we may all meet once again in a place more special than this. To thos e... that grieve, to those that feel pain, hold fast to God and you shall be hea led. "If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of so rrow" - Chinese Proverb If you can't make fun of it, it's probably not worth taking seriously. Twitter is surely the clearest and most pathetic sign of the downfall of our civ ilization. It's a damning byproduct of an attention-deficit, egocentric and aiml ess population, with millions of us reporting that we went to see Paranormal Act ivity movie and that it was "totally creepy lol!" "If there exists no possibility of failure, then victory is meaningless" -Robert H. Schuller Hiding from disturbing information that is a part of reality makes us extremely vulnerable to the dark side of life which will, unfortunately-yet inevitably-aff ect every person's life at some point. Denying that bad things happen leaves us clueless in how to prepare or react. - Ted Nugent I got a traffic ticket the other day for not getting in any accidents. The cop t old me he pulled me over for "wreckless driving." If a 410 pound gorilla is running east towards the White House at 22 mph, and Wh oopi Goldberg is 27 miles behind the gorilla, pursuing him on a motorcycle at 68 mph, how much acid did I do? Have you noticed that the "lol" symbol looks like a drowning guy, and all you se e is his head and arms sticking out of the water? I bet he's not laughing out lo ud Q: If we had to start burning books for heat, which section of the library shoul d we start with? A: What section of the library are they keeping all the "Twilight" books in? Sometimes, people have to die for things to change. So what about men that like Twilight? If you're male and you like Twilight, you're gay. I don't mean that in the derog atory sense, I mean it in the "you want to put your testicles against another ma n's testicles while gripping handfuls of chesthair" kind of way. The comments section on YouTube is generally regarded as a black hole of intelli gence in the space-time continuum of the Internet. At 30 a man should know himself like the palm of his hand, know the exact number of his defects and qualities, know how far he can go, foretell his failures - b e what he is. And, above all, accept these things. - Albert Camus ?When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws. Only catapults.? ?I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. Se e, the paper I used said ?Happy Birthday? on it. I didn?t want to waste it so I just wrote ?Jesus? on it.? ?I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that?s 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it s ays ?go outside.?? ?I feel stupid when I write the word banana. Its like, how many na?s are on this thing? ?Cause I?m like ?Bana ? keep going. Bananana ? damn.? ?I like sports; I like professional football. I like to get to the stadium and s ee the games live, you know. And I paint my chest before I leave the house. But I don?t have many friends, you know, so I usually just do punctuation and tack o n a group already in progress. But sometimes it works out kind of weird because we ended up on TV one time and it said ?JETS??? If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I?d probably just start calling out let ters. I heard this lady say ?I love kids.? That?s nice, a little weird though. It?s li ke saying ?I like people, for a little while.? ?How old are you? 14? Fuck off!? You can say ?I love kids? as a general statement, that?s fine. It?s when you get specific that you get in to trouble. ?I love twelve-year-olds.? - Demetri Martin Say all you want to about how, with all of the technology we have and all of the medical advancements we've made, that we are "living in the future," but until we have flying cars, we don't have to believe you. "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" - Martin Luther King Jr. It's strange how the simple things in life go on while we become more difficult. - Richard Brautigan The maker puts us all on our paths for a reason, and fighting our intended cours e is what causes us so much anguish. - Dragon Age: Origins Wynne: You can find your family in the people around you, that you can love your work and find fulfillment in duty. There is joy, even in self-sacrifice: if you put others before yourself, then their well-being is yours, and their happiness is your happiness. The Warden: It won't be easy to live that way. Wynne: You can scream and cry about your path in life, or you can accept it and allow yourself to see the good in it. - Dragon Age: Origins In hindsight, it's easy for others to judge what you've done, but it doesn't mak e it any better. - Dragon Age: Origins The moment we stop fighting for each other...thats when we lose our humanity - Dragon Age: Origins People fear, not death, but having life taken from them. Many waste the life giv en to them, occupying themselves with things that do not matter. When the end co mes, they say they did not have time enough to spend with loved ones, to fulfill dreams, to go on adventures they only talked about...But why should you fear de ath with the life you have led, if you can look back on everything and say: Yes, I am content. It is enough." - Dragon Age: Origins " Say what you want about warlords and dictators, they still have a highly devel oped sense of order. They always pay their bills on time" - Lord of War "Not all those who wander are lost." - J.R.R. Tolkien "True glory consists in doing what deserves to be written; in writing what deser ves to be read." - Pliny the Elder "Everything is worth what its purchaser will pay for it" - Publius Syrius. It's humbling to realize that the meaning of life - is just more life. - Jim Mitchem The best way to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for o ur independence. -Charles Austin Beard Winter is a great season because of all the sports and games we can only play at this time of the year like sledding, skiing, snowball fights, hockey, skating, and chasing your cats around the house with a blunt icicle. We have no right to ask when sorrow comes, ?Why did this happen to me?? unless w e ask the same question for every moment of happiness that comes our way. So, let us be alert ? alert in a twofold sense: Since Auschwitz we know what man is capable of And since Hiroshima we know what is at stake - Vicktor Frankl "Governments don't have principles, so much as interests." -Tom Clancy "Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask is an Idea, Mr. C reedy. And...Ideas are bullet-proof." - V for Vendetta ?Once we assuage our conscience by calling something a ?necessary evil?, it begi ns to look more and more necessary and less and less evil.? - Sydney J. Harris ?In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of o ur friends.? - Martin Luther King Jr. ?An error doesn?t become a mistake until you refuse to correct it.? - Orlando A. Battista How do we determine "truth" and "fact" when we can manufacture either? "My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star war s and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorr ow." - TFLN Something being hard doesn't mean we shouldn't try. Morality = inflexibility (on taking over the Dominican Republic in 1860) " ...but how can we let them, languish in darkness?...Without the joys of Jesus and Capitalism!? - Capt. Turner (upon hearing a Renaissance Italian Name) " Huh, that sounds like someone I've killed in a video game..." "One day when I was a young boy on holiday in Uberwald I was walking along the b ank of a stream when I saw a mother otter with her cubs. A very endearing sight, I?m sure you will agree, and even as I watched, the mother otter dived into the water and came up with a plump salmon, which she subdued and dragged on to a ha lf-submerged log. As she ate it, while of course it was still alive, the body sp lit and I remember to this day the sweet pinkness of its roes as they spilled ou t, much to the delight of the baby otters who scrambled over themselves to feed on the delicacy. One of nature?s wonders, gentlemen: mother and children dining upon mother and c hildren. And that?s when I first learned about evil. It is built in to the very nature of the universe. Every world spins in pain. If there is any kind of supreme being, I told myself, it is up to all of us to become his moral superior." -Unseen Academicals ...a "blockbuster" was once a huge bomb, weighing up to 12,000-pounds, that was dropped by the British Royal Air Force on German cities, so named because they w ere large enough to bust a whole city block. The British used these to politely bomb the fuck out of Germany during World War II. The best thing in life is finding someone who knows all your mistakes and weakne sses and still thinks you're completely amazing. Respect is given to those who give it in return. Tawnos: xkcd, how drunk are you? xkcd: Tawnos: on a scale of 1 to abraham lincoln I am yellow < phobiac> What are people of the future going to think when they look at the re mains of our cities and can't apply weird astrological significance to way they were built? < phobiac> We need to start aligning all buildings with some random star of litt le significance. Or something. < phobiac> Otherwise the future will think we were idiots. The use of force is seen no longer as a last resort, to be avoided if humanly po ssible, but as the first, and the sooner it is used the better. The news media demand immediate stories of der ring-do, filling their pages with pictures of weapons, ingenious graphics, and contributions from servi ce officers long, and probably deservedly, retired. Any suggestion that the best strategy is not to us e military force at all but to employ subtler if less heroic means of destroying the adversary is dismissed as "appeasement" by politicians whose knowledge of history is about on a par with their skill at pol itical management. Right-wing leaders, seeing themselves cheated of what the Germans used to call a frischer, fr?hlicher Krieg (a short, jolly war) in Afghanistan, demand one against a more accessible adversary, Iraq. This is rather like the drunk who lost his watch in a dark alley but looked for it under a lamppost because there was more light there. As for their counterparts on the left, the very word "war" brings them out on the streets to protest as a matter of principle. The qualities needed in a serious c ampaign against terrorists -- secrecy, intelligence, political sagacity, quiet ruthlessness, covert actions th at remain covert, above all infinite patience -- all these are forgotten or overridden in a media-stoked fre nzy for immediate results, and nagging complaints if they do not get them. - Michael Howard (2002) No matter who you are with (father, mother, brother, wufe, husband, child, or do g) or where you're going, you can only travel as much as the smallest bladder am ong you will allow. "Daughters never grow up. They will always be four years old with skinned knees and pig-tails." - Dragon Age: Origins "...Italians fighting Canadians in the Phillippines...and the French won." - Capt. Turner "There's a weird sense of irony in having rules on how to KILL someone in a war. " - Maj. Foster Morality is irrelevant if you're trying to survive. The scientific name for an animal that doesn't either run from or fight its enem ies is lunch. - Michael Friedman "The effective range of an excuse is zero fucking meters." "Kind-hearted people might of course think there was some ingenious way to disar m or defeat the enemy without too much bloodshed, and might imagine this is the true goal of the art of war. Pleasant as it sounds, it is a fallacy that must be exposed: war is such a dangerous business that the mistakes which come from kin dness are the very worst." -Karl Von Clausewitz, "On War" ". . . From this day to the ending of the world, But we in it shall be remembere d- We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he to-day that sheds his blood with me Shall be my brother. . ." ?I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can be together all the time.? - Calvin & Hobbes "Breast reduction is like punching God in the face." Shepard: Don't blame yourself Thane. Thane: If not me, then who else? We must bear the responsibilty of our actions S hepard. You of all people should know this. Shepard: We lose just as much as you do when you pull yourself apart. - Mass Effect 2 ?Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questi ons themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given to you becaus e you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions? - Rainer Maria Rilke " I think it's time that we stop letting old people serve in the senate" - Jon Stewart " Nothing of value is free. Even the breath of life is purchased hrough gasping effort and pain."..."If you boys and girls had to toys the way a newly born baby has to struggle to live you would d much richer. As it is, with some of you, I pity the poverty of - Starship Troopers " The noblest fate that a man can endure is to place his own mortal body between his loved home and the war's desolation. Basic truths cannot change. Once a man of insight expresses one of them it is never necessary, no matter how much the world changes, to reformulate them. This is an immutable, true everywhere, throu ghout all time, for all mean and all nations. - Starship Troopers " So does it make me a fat ass if I eat a brownie while taking a shit?" " Isn't that counter-productive?" at birth only t sweat for your be happier...an your wealth." - Dan and Me "Peace" is a condition in which no civilian pays any attention to military casua lties which do not achieve page-one, lead-story prominence-unless that civilian is a close relative of one of the casualties." - Starship Troopers " Citizenship is an attitude, a state of mind, an emotional conviction that the whole is greater than the part...and that the part should be humbly proud to sac rifice itself that the whole may live." - Starship Troopers " Daaan! Fine me a cheap iPod!" " I just entered a contest to win a free iPod 10 mintutes ago..." - Dan and Me " It is important every once in awhile to remind ourselves of our accomplishment s...lest we let someone talk us into throwing out the baby with the bathwater. T he system has never let us down-we've let the system down now and then because w e're only human." - Ronald Reagan "What if a demon were to creep after you one night, in your loneliest loneliness , and say, 'This life which you live must be lived by you once again and innumer able times more; and every pain and joy and thought and sigh must come again to you, all in the same sequence. The eternal hourglass will again and again be tur ned and you with it, dust of the dust!' Would you throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse that demon? Or would you answer, 'Never have I heard anythi ng more divine'?" - Nietzsche "Usually, even a non-Christian knows something about the earth, the heavens, and the other elements of this world, about the motion and orbit of the stars and e ven their size and relative positions, about the predictable eclipses of the sun and moon, the cycles of the years and the seasons, about the kinds of animals, shrubs, stones, and so forth, and this knowledge he hold to as being certain fro m reason and experience. Now, it is a disgraceful and dangerous thing for an inf idel to hear a Christian, presumably giving the meaning of Holy Scripture, talki ng nonsense on these topics; and we should take all means to prevent such an emb arrassing situation, in which people show up vast ignorance in a Christian and l augh it to scorn. The shame is not so much that an ignorant individual is deride d, but that people outside the household of faith think our sacred writers held such opinions, and, to the great loss of those for whose salvation we toil, the writers of our Scripture are criticized and rejected as unlearned men. If they f ind a Christian mistaken in a field which they themselves know well and hear him maintaining his foolish opinions about our books, how are they going to believe those books in matters concerning the resurrection of the dead, the hope of ete rnal life, and the kingdom of heaven, when they think their pages are full of fa lsehoods and on facts which they themselves have learnt from experience and the light of reason? Reckless and incompetent expounders of Holy Scripture bring unt old trouble and sorrow on their wiser brethren when they are caught in one of th eir mischievous false opinions and are taken to task by those who are not bound by the authority of our sacred books. For then, to defend their utterly foolish and obviously untrue statements, they will try to call upon Holy Scripture for p roof and even recite from memory many passages which they think support their po sition, although they understand neither what they say nor the things about whic h they make assertion." - De Genesi ad Litteram, Saint Augustine of Hippo The apocalypse is not something which is coming. The apocalypse has arrived in m ajor portions of the planet and it's only because we live within a bubble of inc redible privilege and social insulation that we still have the luxury of anticip ating the apocalypse. If you go to Bosnia or Somalia or Peru or much of the thir d-world then it appears that the apocalypse has already arrived - Terence McKenna "On a traffic light green means go and yellow means yield, but on a banana it's just the opposite. Green means hold on, yellow means go ahead, and red means whe re the fuck did you get that banana at?" - Mitch Hedberg Whenever I'm close friends or dating a lady who's on her period, I just treat th em like the velociraptors from Jurassic Park. Assume they are more intelligent t han you, lethal, cunning, and will tear out your throat if you don't give them w hatever food they wish for. <+hexium> my 'b' key stopped working, but started working again. <+tarpman> perhaps it died and is now a zom-b " So what's a Mestizo?" "A hybrid, sir." " Oh...so he runs on electrity AND gas, does he?" - Capt. Turner " If you don't believe in gravity go jump off the top of this building." - Capt. Turner " There's no such thing as sex addiction. That's just called being normal." - Capt. Turner "When the world says, 'Give up,' hope whispers, 'Try it one more time." "Do something every day that scares you." - Eleanor Roosevelt "Ooooh, Jihad, Demo's..." - Darren Waters The man who goes beyond himself once the effort becomes painful is the man who w ill win - unknown Justin: Go to the PX? Shawn: That means I have to get dressed...man, if I were at home, I could watch that crap on TV naked on my couch if I wanted to. Dan: You watch gymnasts on TV naked? Shawn: NO, SNOWBOARDING IN THE OLYMPICS! - Shawn, Dan and Me What's worse: 1.) Having a meeting in a room without a clock. 2.) Having a meeting in a room with a clock. 3.) Or having a meeting in a room where the clock is broken at precisely the time the meeting started? Life is like a roller coaster, and Jesus is in the seat next to you with a vomit bag waiting for you to blow chunks. - Me "Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly." - Rose Franken Make peace with your past, so it won't mess up the present. ? There is never a sudden revelation, a complete and tidy explanation for why it happened, or why it ends, or why or who you are. You want one and I want one, b ut there isn?t one. It comes in bits and pieces, and you stitch them together wh erever they fit, and when you are done you hold yourself up, and still there are holes and you are a rag doll, invented, imperfect. And yet you are all that you have, so you must be enough. There is no other way. - Marya Hornbacher After being here for four years, you learn every trick in the book. You know how to get out of mandatory meetings, you know how to get around confinement checks ...by the time you're a first classmen, you know every trick in the book and you know how to beat the system. I think the real challenge though is knowing all o f these tricks and having enough discipline not to use them. Having the right, t he power, or the knowledge to do something isn't justification to take that acti on. - Me "...by describing the failure of the "great ones", Mark teaches us: don't undere stimate the struggle of staying with Jesus, or overestimate your own strength. T he disciples faith in Jesus did not come easily or by their own doing. Ours does n't either. Most of all, Mark wanted to encourage us. By God's grace, no failure need ever be fatal. - Black Book Faith which does not doubt is dead faith. - Miguel de Unamuno Apologizing does not always mean that you are wrong and the other person is righ t. It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego. One of the signs of a student who is at risk for suicide is that they sleep in c lass and have a generally dishelved appearance. ...it's kinda hard to identify that at VMI since that means that over 71% of cad ets are at risk for suicide. - Maj. Foster "The release of atom power has changed everything except our way of thinking... the solution to this problem lies in the heart of mankind. If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker." ~ Albert Einstein You know, while people like to thank the soldier for doing what they do, I think people tend to forget about the people they fight for back home. If nothing els e, they are more important than the soldier because they give them a reason to f ight, they give them something to protect, and more importantly they give them s omething to come back too. So don't sell yourself short there buttercup :) The p eople back home are just as important as the ones getting shot at. :) - me Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of t heir own. - Doug Larson ?You guys are going to be leaders,? You?ve got to look inside yourself. You?ve got to trust yourself, and your men will trust you.? - Marcus Luttrell Hungary has the highest percentage of Nobel Peace Prize winners in the world, as well as the highest percentage of porn stars. If you can find a pornstar with a Nobel Peace prize you're a fucking winner. - Col. Burnett Is that what you take from International Womans Day, that you're a piece of shit ? - Col. Burnett "Sometimes you wake up. Sometimes the fall kills you. And sometimes, when you fall, you fly." - Neil Gaiman "And above all, watch with glittering eyes the world around you, because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who do not believe in magic will never find it." - Roald Dahl "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on." - Robert Frost There are so many people out there who will tell you that you can't. What you've got to do is turn around and say, "Watch me." "Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't." Format of the 30 second sound bite: 1.) Take a shit on someone. 2.) Shit on them again. 3.) Say something to make yourself look good in the end. "If I ever see the Queen rolling down the street in England, I have the unexplai nable urge to defecate..." - Col. Burnett Conflict makes people stronger. Knowing when to avoid conflict makes people wise r. Love wasn't ever made to make any sense at all. - Unknown ?It's not what we eat but what we digest that makes us strong; not what we gain but what we save that makes us rich; not what we read but what we remember that makes us learned; and not what we profess but what we practice that gives us int egrity." ?Honor isn't about making the right choices. It's about dealing with the consequ ences.? ? Anonymous Somtimes you will never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memor y. The cost of war is never worth the outcome. All you can do is try to save as man y lives as possible and hope you're on the right side. An arrow goes forward only after pulling it backwards. A bullet goes forward only after pressing the trigger backwards. Every human being will achieve happiness only after facing the difficulties in t heir lives. So do not be afraid to face your difficulties. They will push you forward. TOYOTA: moving forward, even if you don't want to... "A children's story that can only be enjoyed by children is not a good children' s story in the slightest." ? C.S. Lewis This is my chosen fast: to loosen all the bonds that bind men unfairly, to let the oppressed go free, to break every yoke. Share your bread with the hungry, take the homeless into your home. Clothe the naked when you see him, do not turn away from people in need. . . . If you remove from your midst the yoke of oppression, the finger of scorn and the tongue of malice, if you put yourself out for the hungry and relieve the wretched, then shall your light shine in darkness, and your gloom shall be as noonday. . . . And you shall be like a watered garden, like a never-failing spring. And you shall rebuild ancient ruins, restoring old foundations. You shall be known as the rebuilder of broken walls, the restorer of dwelling places. - Book of Isaiah Whether outwardly or inwardly, whether in space or time, the farther we penetrate the unknown, the vaster and more marvelous it becomes. -- Charles A. Lindbergh's "Autobiography of Values." If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away. -- Henry David Thoreau "There is no strife, no prejudice, no national conflict in outer space as yet. I ts hazards are hostile to us all. Its conquest deserves the best of all mankind, and its opportunity for peaceful cooperation many never come again. But why, so me say, the moon? Why choose this as our goal? And they may well ask why climb t he highest mountain? Why, 35 years ago, fly the Atlantic? Why does Rice play Tex as? We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do t he other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard..." - John F. Kennedy Dan: "Dude, this is so gay..." * .3 seconds later* Shawn:" Man, this is so awesome!" - Watching Muscle Madness "In the midst of a global war of ostensibly earthshaking importance, Americans d emonstrated a great affinity for their hometown sports hero's than for the soldi ers defending the distant precints of the American Imperium. Tom Brady makes mil lions playing quarterback in the NFL and rakes in millions more from endorsement s. Pat Tillman quit professional football and became an Army Ranger and was kill ed in Afghanistan. Yet, of the two, Brady more fully embodies the contemporary u nderstanding of the term "Patriot." - Andrew J. Bacevich People must understand that children with disabilities do not have a disease. Ch ildren with disabilities are not looking for a cure but acceptance. Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain. " I'm never going to look up "bald eagle" again" * .2 seconds later* " I'm typing bald eagle into Google..." - me * after looking for what a bald eagle is on Urbandictionary.com, and after typin g bald eagle into Google Images with safe search off. Me:...huh, well that's disappointing...*see's adult image*, oh well nevermind! David: Hey that's a pretty cool tattoo. Matt: Wait, shouldn't that be a spread eagle? But keep this in mind: Religion is more about God loving us than us loving God, or loving others, or loving ourselves. The first thing we have to catch is that God loves us, now, as we are. Before we doing anything else, we need simply to l et ourselves be on the receiving end of the goodness of the Lord. - Bishop Ken Untener "It makes no difference what men think of war, war endures. As well ask men what they think of stone. War was always here. Before man was, war waited for him. T he ultimate trade awaiting its ultimate practioner. That is the way it was and w ill be. That way and not some other way." - Cormac McCarthy Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them. - Albert Einstein "Stood in firelight, sweltering. Bloodstain on chest like map of violent new con tinent. Felt cleansed. Felt dark planet turn under my feet and knew what cats kn ow that makes them scream like babies in night. Looked at sky through smoke heav y with human fat and God was not there. The cold, suffocating dark goes on forev er and we are alone. Live our lives, lacking anything better to do. Devise reaso n later. Born from oblivion; bear children, hell-bound as ourselves, go into obl ivion. There is nothing else. Existence is random. Has no pattern save what we i magine after staring at it for too long. No meaning save what we choose to impos e. This rudderless world is not shaped by vague metaphysical forces. It is not G od who kills the children. Not fate that butchers them or destiny that feeds the m to the dogs. It?s us. Only us. Streets stank of fire. The void breathed hard o n my heart, turning it's illusions to ice, shattering them. Was reborn then, fre e to scrawl own design on this morally blank world. Was Rorschach. Does that ans wer your questions, Doctor?" - Rorscach If an injury is to be done to a man, it should be so severe that his vengeance n eed not be feared. No citizen can complain about how their nation is being run when the farthest th ey are willing to involve themselves in politics and economics is the five steps it takes to traverse the dangerous path from the refrigerator to the TV. It would be almost unbelievable, if history did not record the tragic fact, that men have gone to war and cut each others throats because they could not agree a s to what was to become of them after their throats were cut. - Walter P. Stacy " The Uniform that you wear, the globe and anchor emblem that you have earned wi ll make the difference between the freedom of the world and it's enslavement." - Chesty Puller If you want to make peace, you don't talk to your friends. You talk to your enem ies. - Moshe Dayan I don?t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members. - Groucho Marx Well, I'm glad that he (RIcky Martin) was able to come out of the closet, good f or him. I feel for those other obvious, blatant homosexuals that will never be a ble to come out and must live a life of repressed sexual frustration and self-de lusion. Like Glenn Beck. Everything will be okay in the end. It it's not okay it's not the end. "There's no polite way to put this: Necrophilia is the fucking of dead bodies. A lthough considering the recent popularity of "vampire romance," having sex with a pale lifeless meatwad is apparently mainstream now." (insert picture of Twilig ht Vampire) Even if the path is a little blurry, keep walking. You'll focus in when you know what you want. Then the picture of your life will be crystal clear. Just don't ever give up. "Yo she's going to go Nazi on us man and I'm gonna be like, " Bitch you ain't my teacher!" - Matt Jones Before the beginning of brilliance, there must by chaos. Before a brilliant person begins something great, they must look foolish to the crowd. Saying yes to anyone in authority, anyone with a badge, just like your parents t aught you. My parents taught me something else, lying cold on the pavement. They taught me that the world only makes sense when you force it to. - Batman The most succesful capitalist dies alone. " If you look at the Constitution the wrong way or something you'll melt or some shit." - Capt. Turner *Politics of Terrorism Notes Getting terrorist/harsh legislation passed. - The American people have to change their attitudes or, - Legislators in Congress have to forego their popularity and chances for re-election to propose unpopular, but necessary resolutions. - Well shit... I've lived through things I would never have thought capable of, and I'm much le ss afraid than I used to be. The process of wounding awakens us to our strength. It shuffles our values, and the top priority is never what you thought it would be. It's never about perfection or power. It always turns out to be about love. Knowing ourselves to be vulnerable and our time here to be limited, we're freed to live more passionately and fully...than we have before, to discover what's w orth fighting for and who we are...real strength lies buried at the depths of an y wound we have survived. If you don't know what it takes to fix a sewer would you be so arrogant as to te ll a plummer how to do his job? If so, then why do you tell a soldier how to fig ht for your safety? A soldier's job is to stand up at night and keep watch so that you can sleep saf ely, it is not his job to stay up all night to make sure you sleep with a clean concience. It's sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew. "Dude, when you grow up you should get a dog and call it Bacon. Then when it poo ps you can be like, "Oooh, bacon bits!"" - Steve A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise af ter success. -Anonymous Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten. - G.K. Chesterton We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something w e don't have. but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. - Frederick Koenig Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So, love the people wh o treat you right and forget about the ones who don't. And believe that everythi ng happens for a reason...if you get a chance- take it; if it changes your life - let it. Nobody said it would be easy...They just promised it would be worth it . Decisions sometimes prove to be the hardest to make, especially when it's a choi ce between where you should be and where you really wanted to be. At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place. But believe us whe n we say that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. And what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fa ct be the first steps of a journey. "The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get a shamed of, because words diminish them -- words shrink things that seemed limitl ess when they were in your head to no more than living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enem ies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you've sa id at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while yo u were saying it. That's the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a tellar but for want of an understanding ear." ? Stephen King Remember When somebody annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap that motherfucker. "Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced a n impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made hi m rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.. This made hi m a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis." Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we 're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power. - P. J. O'Rourke "I imagine that the inside of a bottle of cleaning fluid is FUCKING clean." - Mitch Hedberg When one journey ends another one is waiting to get started on. While the transi tion to the other journey is very much like stumbling around in the dark, we sho uld hope that our last journey was filled with fulfillment and purpose so that i t will help guide us in our new one. - Me According to BBC News, the father of the Nigerian who attempted to blow up the D elta airliner whilst approaching Detroit had emailed US authorities to warn them about his son's extreme anti American views. This man happened to be a very wea lthy banker. You can imagine the email arriving at the US Government's offices: Good afternoon, I am a wealthy Nigerian banker.... You have never really lived until you have done something for someone who can ne ver repay you. When you look at a person, any person, remember that everyone has a story. Every one has gone through something that has changed them. Declaration of Principles 1] All men are different. And should do everything possible to continue to be so . 2] Each human being has been granted two courses of action: that of deed and tha t of contemplation. Both lead to the same place. 3] Each human being has been granted two qualities: power and gift. Power drives man to meet his destiny, his gift obliges him to share with others that which i s good in him. A man must know when to use his power, and when to use his gift. 4] Each human being has been granted a virtue: the capacity to choose. For he wh o does not use this virtue, it becomes a curse ? and others will always choose f or him. 5] Each human being has the right to two blessings, which are: the blessing to d o right, and the blessing to err. In the latter case, there is always a path of learning leading to the right way. 6] Each human being has his own sexual profile, and should exercise it without g uilt ? provided he does not oblige others to exercise it with him. 7] Each human being has his own reason he is in the world. The r what he does. Single paragraph ? the Personal ided one does not forget it and Personal Legend to be fulfilled, and this is the Personal Legend is manifest in his enthusiasm fo Legend may be abandoned for a certain time, prov returns as soon as possible. 8] Each man has a feminine side, and each woman has a masculine side. It is nece ssary to use discipline with intuition, and to use intuition objectively. 9] Each human being must know two languages: the language of society and the lan guage of the omens. The first serves for communication with others. The second s erves to interpret messages from God. 10] Each human being has the right to seek out joy, joy being understood as some thing which makes one content ? not necessarily that which makes others content. 11] Each human being must keep alight within him the sacred flame of madness. An d must behave like a normal person. 12] The only faults considered grave are the following: not respecting the right s of one?s neighbor, letting oneself be paralyzed by fear, feeling guilty, think ing one does not deserve the good and bad which occurs in life, and being a cowa rd. Paragraph 1 ? we shall love our adversaries, but not make alliances with them. T hey are placed in our way to test our sword, and deserve the respect of our figh t. Paragraph 2 ? we shall choose our adversaries, not the other way around. 12A] We hereby declare the end to the wall dividing the sacred from the profane: from now on, all is sacred. 14] Everything which is done in the present, affects the future by consequence, and the past by redemption. 15] Dispensations to the contrary are herewith revoked. - Paul Coelho Forgive but do not forget, or you will be hurt again. Forgiving changes the pers pectives. Forgetting loses the lesson. Hard decisions become all the more easier when there isn't a face or story to go along with it. "How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours." - Wayne Dyer I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would driv e you crazy. - Mitch Hedberg Kittens play with yarn, they bat it around. What they're really doing is saying, "I can't knit get this away from me!" - Mitch Hedberg A life isn't measured in hours in minutes. It's the quality, not the length. The very essence of the creative is its novelty, and hence we have no standard b y which to judge it. - Carl Rogers "Love" is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential t o your own... Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature m ind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy. - Robert Heinlein "Generations from now, when historians write about these times, they might note that, in the early decades of the twenty-first century, the United States succee ded in its great and historic mission-it globalized the world. But along the way , they might write, it forgot to globalize itself." - Fareed Zakaria In 1962, Boehm was called to Washington to brief President [John F.] Kennedy on the progress of the Navy's new commando unit. When Kennedy walked in, the first thing Boehm said was, ?Well, Mr. President, I didn't vote for you, but I'd die f or you.? And after a long pause, Kennedy said, ?Well, we need more guys like tha t.?" "I've learned that things change, people change, and it doesn't mean you forget the past or try to cover it up. It simply means you move on and treasure the mem ories. Letting go doesn't mean giving up, it means accepting that some things we ren't meant to be." "I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe y ou" "Long time ago, Nunally, Suzaku, and I talked about something. We wondered what happiness would look like if we could give it a physical form. If I'm not mistak en, I think it was Suzaku that said that the shape of happiness might resemble g lass. His reasoning made sense. He said that even though you don't usually notic e it, its still definitely there. You merely have to change your point of view s lightly, and then that glass will sparkle when it reflects the light. I doubt th at anything else could argue its own existence more eloquently." ? Code Geass. ''When life gives you a hundread reasons to cry, show life that you've a thousan d reasons to smile' ?A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in h er, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. Thi s always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy going to a job interview and the comp any saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are look ing for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as t he basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire someb ody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't wo rk out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that w e hired.? "I am a firm believer in religious anarchy. God gave man free will, a wondrous t hing indeed, and yet religious organisations make a mockery of this blessing. Pe rhaps they talk of freedom but the result is a bunch of people uniformly singing and chanting. They talk of Jesus Christ criticising the Pharisees for their corruption and hyp ocrisy but fail to take one thing into account: Wherever there is a large number of humans grouping together there will be corruption. Whether it be a governmen t, a church or a hospital. Christ criticised people for materialism and we see huge, decadent cathedrals. Christ criticised the priests for shameless grandstanding in prayer and yet we s ee those televangelists bombastically strutting and striding and claiming to hav e all the answers. Christ criticised violence and men of violence and yet Churches ? both Protestan t and Catholic ? have endorsed or ignored or actively taken part in numerous mas sacres and genocides. So, I believe that the only right path that removes these contradictions is reli gious anarchy. A belief in Christ with no true form or structure. I worship priv ately, quietly, with dignity. And I don?t shout in the street, I don?t condemn o thers to damnation and I?m not the kind of morbid scumbag who would picket the f uneral of a dead soldier. I try to be a good, open minded person, I do not always succeed but I do try..." It is only once you've lost everything, that you're free to do anything. -Tyler Durden. Only after disaster may we truly be resurrected. -Tyler Durden "Eden ... for me would be a place where there is no news or entertainment media -- no more bad news, no more windbag political pundits, no self-righteous, knowit-all sportscasters, no charlatan televangelists, no celebrity news, no movie o r music critics and no interviews. It would also be great if there were no Faceb ook, no MySpace and no Twitter. And a world with no video games would be brillia nt. ... But for better or worse, this is what has become of our culture -- a gaz illion ways to be distracted, to waste time, to be spoon-fed a constant diet of the trivial and the tragic. But there's nowhere left to run. This is the world t hat men like Rupert Murdoch have made, and we all have to live in it. Fortunatel y, they haven't done away with books or radio. " - Don Henley The Ten "Cannots" of Political Economy: You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift. You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong. You cannot help small men by tearing down big men. You cannot help the wage-earner by tearing down the wage-payer. You cannot further the brotherhood of mankind by encouraging class hatred. You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich. You cannot establish sound security on borrowed money. You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than you earn. You cannot build character and courage by taking away man's initiative. You cannot help man permanently by doing for them what they could do and should do for themselves. - Unknown ?Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to chan ge it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaratio n. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.? - Muhammad Ali "Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens." - Jimi Hendrix "Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't live t o be. But, before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean." - Bob Marley "Drinking beer is easy. Trashing your hotel room is easy. But being a Christian, that's a tough call. That's real rebellion!". - Alice Cooper I hated every minute of training, but I said, "Don't quit. Suffer now and live t he rest of your life as a champion." - Muhammad Ali Picking up the klobb in GoldenEye is like winning five dollars in the lottery an d then getting set on fire. "I am here today because of a conversation I had last June when I was voting. A woman at my polling place asked me, "Do you believe in equal... equality for gay and lesbian people?" I was pretty surprised to be asked a question like that. I t made no sense to me. Finally I asked her, "What do you think our boys fought f or at Omaha Beach?" I haven't seen much... so much blood and guts, so much suffe ring, much sacrifice. For what? For freedom and equality. These are the values t hat give America a great nation, one worth dying for." "I have seen with my own eyes the consequences of caste systems, and of making s ome people less than others, or second-class. Never again! We have must have equ al rights for everyone! It's what this country was started for! It takes all kin ds of people to make a world war. It makes no sense that some people who love ea ch other can marry, and others can't, just because of who they are! This is what we fought for in WWII, that idea that we can be different and still be equal!" - Philip Spooner "She was in Thor...in 2011!" "...that hasn't happened yet..." - Connor Common sense is using your brain for good, not evil. Wisdom is actually knowing that that means. Maturity is knowing that there is a time for each. Why is it that when a muslim cleric spouts some radical ke, "he truly doesn't represent the entirety of Islam", c priest decides that fondling a boys parts is his idea is like," Yeah! Every one of those Catholic fuckers is - Me The Biggest Lie Ever: I have read and agree to the terms of use. A soldier is someone, who at one point in their life wrote a blank check made pa yable to the United States of America for an amount up to, and including, their life. That is an honor, and there are way too many people in this country today who no longer understand that fact. "A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is idealogy, everyone is li and yet when ONE catholi of a good time, everyone like that!" ? around to be loved" - Kurt Vonnegut ?There?s nothing intelligent to say about a massacre? - Kurt Vonnegut "Life's not a song, life isn't bliss, life is just this: it's living. You'll get along, the pain that you feel, it only can heal by living." Happiness can't be found when you seek it for yourself. But when you give it to others, it will find it's way back to you. That's the mystery of happiness, it g rows when shared. The lines betweeen good and evil blur when we're looking at people we know. - Mass Effect 2 When you live by a code that compels you to harsh action, you learn the dangers of curiosity. If I must kill a man because he has done wrong, do I really wish t o know that he was a devoted father? - Mass Effect 2 "Champions aren't made in gyms. Champions are made from something that they have deep inside them: A desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have last-minute st amina, they have to be a little faster, they have to have the skill and the will . But the will must be stronger than the skill." - Muhammad Ali 'A house divided against itself cannot stand.' Our nation now stands at the prec ipice of destruction. This house, where God conceived the noble ideals of freedo m and liberty, is on the verge of violent discord ... By the grace of God, our n ation is fully capable of surmounting the challenges that face it. We must look to what Unites us instead of that which separates us in order for the Union to b e preserved and remain prosperous." - Abraham Lincoln "The atomic bomb didn't just save American's lives, it saved American's souls. A fter seeing what the Marines had to deal with on Okinawa, I'm more confident tha n ever that the bomb was necessary." - Me "Sometimes we have to fall very far from the path before we realize what path we truly need to be on." - Me THE FINAL INSPECTION The soldier stood and faced God, Which must always come to pass. He hoped his shoes were shining, Just as brightly as his brass. "Step forward now, you soldier, How shall I deal with you? Have you always turned the other cheek? To My Church have you been true?" The soldier squared his shoulders and said, "No, Lord, I guess I ain't. Because those of us who carry guns, Can't always be a saint. I've had to work most Sundays, And at times my talk was tough. And sometimes I've been violent, Because the world is awfully rough. But, I never took a penny, That wasn't mine to keep... Though I worked a lot of overtime, When the bills got just too steep. And I never passed a cry for help, Though at times I shook with fear. And sometimes, God, forgive me, I've wept unmanly tears. I know I don't deserve a place, Among the people here. They never wanted me around, Except to calm their fears. If you've a place for me here, Lord, It needn't be so grand. I never expected or had too much, But if you don't, I'll understand. There was a silence all around the throne, Where the saints had often trod. As the soldier waited quietly, For the judgment of his God. "Step forward now, you soldier, You've borne your burdens well. Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets, You've done your time in Hell." ~Author Unknown Dan: I'm fixing my beret, Justin what do I need to add to it? Me:...I think I cut my tongue. - Dan and me Dan: It looks a little pink, I think you bit it... Shawn: That's what she said! Me: Dammit! - Shawn, Dan, and Me "Hey, you're wearing a t-shirt, I'm taking it." " Wait, what?" *wrestling bout ensues. - John Duffy and Dan Frederick " When a cure is worse than the disease then what's the point?" - Mass Effect "...and if you're Twittering, Fuck you! Where do you get the massive ego to thin k that anyone gives a shit about what you're thinking!?" - Lewis Black " I'm so Asian Jon, I'm Ninja!" - The Daily Show "...I think anyone putting a colon next to a close parenthesis should be shot in their colon and left to die slowly from rectal bleeding." - Alpha Protocol If the guy doesn't like finding diamonds in the rough, he can just pretend to be happy with the zirconium he has. If you want to murder someone, just play the (Super Mario) invincibility theme o ver their radio when they're driving. They'll instantly swerve into oncoming tra ffic. "You are doing the right thing. It's the burden of command, Harry; sometimes, y ou have to do things you don't want to, because you have to. ?All your life you are told the things you cannot do. All your life they will sa y you?re not good enough or strong enough or talented enough. They will say you? re or the wrong weight or the wrong type to play this or be this or achieve this . THEY WILL TELL YOU NO, a thousand times no, until all the no?s become meaningl ess. All your life they will tell you no, quite firmly and very quickly. AND YOU WILL TELL THEM YES.? ? Nike Ad Unless you are wearing scuba gear, carrying a large mallet, and riding a shark, you're not really playing water polo. "...while the sacrifices are heavy, we fight knowing that a single spark of cour age can ignite the fires of hope and restore peace across the galaxy." - Star Wars: The Old Republic Stewie: Great plan Lois! Hey, here's another idea: Ever read the Bible? Leviticu s 18:22! Brian : Stewie, you're judgmentally quoting bible verses and you don't even know how to read! Stewie : Welcome to America Brian. - Family Guy "'If the country is good enough to live in, it's good enough to fight for.' With privilege goes responsibility." - E. B. Sledge The measure of a man can be taken in how he treats those beneath him "We will all learn from it, and it will be a learning moment for the military as well as for people in Washington," "It will remind all of those in uniform tha t we live by a code of conduct, and we live by a uniformed code of military just ice. ... It will remind us of that pledge and that oath that we will obey those [civilian] officers appointed over us." - Army Gen. Russel Honore " Leadership is responsibility, not privilige. Action, not position. Guidance, n ot knowledge. Outcome, not disposition." "No one walks away from torture unchanged. Not the subject, not the torturer him self. Never found torture worth the price myself." - Mass Effect 2 " The measure of an individual can be hard to discern from actions alone." - Mass Effect 2 "It?s not hard to imagine why this series is so popular among women of all ages, as perplexed as many people seem to be by Twilight?s success. I?ve heard the ma le equivalent of the phenomenon described as if ?someone wrote a movie where Nat alie Portman and Mila Kunis both fight over who gets to bang you, and they both have secret superpowers.? Grant that my hands be steady, my aim be true, and my feet swift. And should the worst come to pass, grant me forgiveness." -Thane Krios Ever since I found out that Glenn Beck defaced Common Sense with his theatrical lunacy, I've wanted to kill him. Most people don't keep the same friends forever you know. They grow apart and be come different people. It's not anyone's fault really, it's just the way things happen." Gas stations bathrooms should only be entered if you are on fire or in a zombie movie, and there isn't another door within miles. To all of you who are getting involved in this like your life is centered around LeBron James and the NBA: How ridiculous are you? Centering your life around on e man and a little rubber ball? "It's always easier to hate a group, isn't it? It makes the guilt far easier to deal with when you finally put the bullet in their brainpan." "An officer who can't trust his men isn't fit to lead them." If your first thought when someone mentions discrimination are all the ways you personally have been treated unfairly, you might be missing the big picture. You think gays are ruining what marriage stands for? Why aren't you protesting T he Bachelor and all those other cheap reality shows fetishizing marriage-- or be tter yet, go protest all the drunks getting hitched in Vegas. A vagina and a penis does nothing at all to legitimize what you believe is the s anctity of marriage. Love should be the only consequential factor. Then again, t ell that to people marrying for green cards, or gays (ashamed of their true selv es-- gee wonder why?) marrying beards. If your problem is with people not marryi ng for the "right reasons", then you should go all the way with it. Every man is guilty is of all the good he did not do. - Voltaire Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men. - John F. Kennedy If it were raining women you'd be the only one to get hit by a queer. The use of force, and how much to apply, is dictated by the situation. That said, I believe that there are lines one ought to try not to cross. One of those news shows did a piece once on snipers. The reporter asked the sher iff why he thought that more towns and cities were getting SWAT or special respo nse teams that utilized snipers. The sheriff thought for awhile and replied, 'be cause some people just need killing'. I can't say that the use of force, including deadly force is wrong in all cases, because there are cases where some people just need killing. Do you go all 'Jack Bauer' on someone, if you suspect they can tell you how to d efuse that nuke that is about to go off in an hour? You may have to. That is different than saying that once someone is convicted of a crime, they ar e no longer entitled to be treated like a human. That is a slippery slope that diminishes us all. Once you belive that, then you are able to commit horrible c irmes against another human, because 'they deserve it'; rape, torture, experimen tation, murder, gross neglect. All in the name of punishment? I am not willing t o go there. I think we lose much, when we lose compassion and empathy. Again, not to say that I would not feel anger and a need for vengeance, if one o f those scumbags hurt my family or friends. But I am saying that neither I nor a nyone else shoud be allowed to torture for the sake of vengeance. "This is a great demonstration of how people, however unwittingly, elevate nonse nse to the level of great importance, and people jump on the bandwagon, without even bothering to check the basic facts. It's as if people want this stuff to be true to support their pre-existing beliefs about something, in this case the fr agility of their existence and the treachery of their government." "This speaks massively of everyone who believed it without even checking the fac ts." - On The Onions spoof of the passing of HR8791. ?War was ugly and evil, for sure, but it was still the way things got done on mo st of the planet. Civilized states had nonviolent ways of resolving disputes, bu t that depended on the willingness of everyone involved to back down. Here in th e raw Third World, people hadn?t learned to back down, at least not until after a lot of blood flowed. Victory was for those willing to fight and die. Intellect uals could theorize until they sucked their thumbs right off their hands, but in the real world, power still flowed from the barrel of a gun. If you wanted the starving masses in Somalia to eat, then you had to outmuscle men like this Aidid , for whom starvation worked. You could send in your bleeding-heart do-gooders, you could hold hands and pray and sing hootenanny songs and invoke the great god s CNN and BBC, but the only way to finally open to the big-eyed babies was to sh ow up with more guns. And in the real world, nobody had more or better guns than America. If the good-hearted ideals of humankind were to prevail, then they nee ded men who could make it happen. Delta made it happen. - Excerpt from the book Black Hawk Down, by Mark Bowden ?Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And o nce you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can su rvive it.? - Bill Cosby Fixed fortifications are monuments to the stupidity of man. If anything made by God can be overcome, anything made by man can be overcome. - George Patton "I've actually read Kafka. Has anyone ever read anything by Kafka? I read this book called The Metamorphosis, 'cause I was going out with this chick who kept making references to "oh that's very Kafka-esque". So I read this book, trying to get into her pants, and it's sixty pages long about a guy who turns into a bu g, and it's pretty plain and simple, it's not a hard read, and at the end of the book they had a hundred-and-twenty pages called "Explanatory Notes on the Text" where all these scholars tell you what Kafka really meant by the guy turning... "when Kafka referred to the metamorphosis, he was really referring to the transf iguration of an abortive Christ figure." Oh, I thought it was about a guy who t urned into a bug. I'm the dick again, you know? That's why I don't want to be known as an artist, I don't want a hundred years from now some scholar sitting a round going "You know, when Doug Stanhope referred to the, uh, Bucket of Vaginas , what he really meant was the adolescent's longing to return to the womb and it 's maternal enveloping." No, it was about a big sloppy bucket of snatch. It's just a fucking joke." - Doug Stanhope. "And this I believe: that the free, exploring mind of the individual human is th e most valuable thing in the world. And this I would fight for: the freedom of t he mind to take any direction it wishes, undirected." - John Steinbeck "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes t o sit down and listen." - Winston Churchill ?Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding gu ns than holding hands?? - Ernest Gaines. "You can't fight irrationality with empirical evidence." - Jon Stewart "I always cheer up immensely if an attack is particularly wounding because I thi nk, well, if they attack one personally, it means they have not a single politic al argument left." - Margaret Thatcher Staring contest? I thought it was a blinking contest and I was losing! - Patrick Star "...it's a war, what did anyone expect? Fighting any war, let alone a counter-in surgency in a largely unfriendly area, is an ugly business and isn't something f or the faint of heart. Anyone who's been following the progress of the war at al l shouldn't really be surprised at anything "brought to light" by Wikileaks." - On Wikileaks "If you disagree with a policy of your government, like the war in Afghanistan o r classifying information, you should campaign against it and co-ordinate your v ote to suit your opinions. I'd much rather have an elected government decide wha t to classify and when, given their mandate and accountability. Some guy on the internet with no mandate or accountability who thinks he is doing what's best fo r everyone is worrying to me." - On Wikileaks "...and Sarah Palin knows that it is okay to call someone a retard if, like Rush , you clearly don't mean it...which is why we should all come to her defense and say," Sarah Palin is a fucking retard!" - Stephen Colbert "Of every one hundred men in battle, ten should not even be there. Eighty, are n othing but targets. Nine are the real fighters, we are lucky to have them since they make the battle. Ah, but the one -- one is the Warrior-- and he brings the. .. others home." "Mr. Finnegan said he was a Marine lance corporal, home from Afghanistan, where he had worked as a mediator with warring tribes. After the sustained standing ovation that followed his introduction, he turned t o the Muslims on the panel: ?My question to you is, will you work to form a cohe sive bond with the people of this community?? The men said yes. Then he turned to the crowd. ?And will you work to form a cohesive bond with the se people ? your new neighbors?? The crowd erupted in boos. ?No!? someone shouted." - On Building a Mosque near Ground Zero Just because there are many extremist Muslims who hate America does not mean tha t all Muslims should be marginalized and treated as enemies. It's not about poli tical correctness, either, it's about being a rational, decent human being. If you want to tell a soldier how to do his/her job, feel free to replace him/he r so you can try it. "This building will serve as an emblem for the rest of the world that Americans ... recognize that the evil acts of a few must never damn the innocent." - on NYC Mosque debate We could all offer each other examples of xenophobia that we've seen personally - I don't think we really need to rehash any of them - or any of the great examp les we've seen in literature, TV, movies or other sources. But really, it's just one giant rotating firing squad - every now and then we're grouped in with the people who have the guns, and every now and then we find ourselves against the b rick wall. You might be in the group that's always up against the wall or in the group that always seems to be firing haphazardly in all directions, but nonethe less, that's what we do. Because xenophobia is wired in. And it's easier to give in than to fight it. - Charlton Heston The ideals we repeatedly try to teach our children are based on the central conc ept of 'respect' - so let's start remembering what exactly that means. - Charlton Heston Those who would subvert the Constitution simply because it is inconvenient or un popular in a given situation are the true enemies of this nation, are, in fact, mentioned in the oath of office that every politician and member of the military takes upon assuming their post -- when they swear to preserve, protect and defe nd the Constitution from all enemies, foreign and domestic. Those who would pick and choose the parts of the Constitution to follow based on the political consi derations of the moment are the very domestic enemies these oaths are talking ab out. Character matters. Not race or gender. - Mass Effect 2 It is absolutely atrocious that a lot of these people can protest on the basis o f "hallowed" or "sacred" ground but they have no issue with republicans blocking health care for first responders to 9/11. Sacred enough to protest a mosque but not sacred enough to protect the people th at risked their lives. "Character is what you are in the dark." ?The greatest and noblest pleasure which men can have in this world is to discov er new truths; and the next is to shake off old prejudices.? - Frederick the Great ?I was thinking of women?s courage. I believe it is different from men?s.? The youth hesitated. Perhaps, his expression clearly bespoke, it smacked of immo desty or presumptuousness to speculate upon matters of which he possessed no exp erience. Dienekes pressed him nonetheless. ?Different, how?? Ariston glanced to Alexandros, who with a grin reinforced his friend?s resolve. The youth took a breath and began: ?Man?s courage, to give his life for his coun try, is great but unextraordinary. Is it not intrinsic to the nature of the male , beasts as well as men, to fight and to contend? It?s what we were born to do, it?s in our blood. Watch any boy. Before he can even speak, he reaches, impelled by instinct, for the staff and the sword ? while his sisters unprompted shun th ese implements of contention and instead cuddle to their bosom the kitten and th e doll. ?What is more natural to a man than to fight, or a woman to love? Is this not th e imperative of a mother?s blood, to give and to nurture, above all the produce of her own womb, the children she has borne in pain? We know that a lioness or s he-wolf will cast away her life without hesitation to preserve her cubs or pups. Women the same. Now consider, friends, that which we call women?s courage: ?What could be more contrary to female nature, to motherhood, than to stand unmo ved and unmoving as her sons march off to death? Must not every sinew of the mot her?s flesh call out in agony and affront at such an outrage? Must not her heart seek to cry in its passion, ?No! Not my son! Spare him!? That women, from some source unknown to us, summon the will to conquer this their own deepest nature i s, I believe, the reason we stand in awe of our mothers and sisters and wives. T his, I believe, Dienekes is the essence of women?s courage and why it, as you su ggested, is superior to men?s.? My Master acknowledged these observations with approval. At his side Alexandros shifted, however. You could see the young man was not satisfied. ?What you say is true, Ariston. I had never thought of it in that way before. Ye t something must be added. If women?s victory were simply to stand dry-eyed as t heir sons march off to death, this would not alone be unnatural, but inhuman, gr otesque and even monstrous. What elevates such an act to the stature of nobility is, I believe, that it is performed in the service of a higher and more selfles s cause. ?These women of whom we stand in awe donate their son?s lives to their country, to the people as a whole, that the nation may survive even as their own dear chi ldren perish. Like the mother whose story we have heard from childhood who, on l earning that all five of her sons had been killed in the same battle, asked only , ?Was our nation victorious?? and, being told that it was, turned for home with out a tear, saying only, ?Then I am happy.? Is it not this element ? the nobilit y of setting the whole above the part ? that moves us about women?s sacrifice?? - Gates of Fire "I asked God for strength, that I might achieve; I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey. I asked for health, that I might do greater things; I was given infirmity, that I might do better things. I asked for riches, that I might be happy; I was given poverty, that I might be wise. I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men; I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God. I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life; I was given life, that I might enjoy all things. I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I hoped for. Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.d I am among all men most richly blessed." - A CONFEDERATE SOLDIER'S PRAYER Author Unknown, (Attributed to a battle weary C.S.A soldier near the end of the war) "I wouldn't call Musashi ordinary." "But he is. That's what's extraordinary about him. He's not content with relying on whatever natural gifts he may have. Knowing he's ordinary, he's always tryin g to improve himself. No one appreciates the agonizing effort he's had to make. Now that his years of training have yielded such spectacular results, everybody' s talking about his 'god-given talent.' That's how men who don't try very hard c omfort themselves." - (Eiji Yoshikawa- Musashi, page 926) The basis of all morality is duty. The stern hand of fate has scourged us to an elevation where we can see the grea t everlasting things which matter for a nation ? the great peaks we had forgotte n, of Honor, Duty, Patriotism, and clad in glittering white, the great pinnacle of Sacrifice pointing like a rugged finger to Heaven. "Do not fear god, Do not worry about death; What is good is easy to get, and What is terrible is easy to endure" - Epicurus "Please stop calling people Hitler when you disagree with them. It demeans you, it demeans your opponent, and to be honest, it demeans Hitler. That guy worked t oo many years, too hard, to be that evil to have any Tom, Dick, and Harry come a long and say 'Hey, you're being Hitler.' No! You know who was Hitler? HITLER!" - Jon Stewart ?One day at a time--this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past fo r it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.? The most dangerous thing in the world is a bored Marine. "He said war was too important to be left to the generals. When he said that, 50 years ago, he might have been right. But today, war is too important to be left to politicians. They have neither the time, the training, nor the inclination f or strategic thought. I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids." - Dr. Strangelove or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb by Stanle y Kubrick When all you own is a hammer, every problem starts looking like a nail. - Abraham Maslow "You are an intelligent human being. Your life is valuable for its own sake. You are not second-class in the universe, deriving meaning and purpose from some ot her mind. You are not inherently evil?you are inherently human, possessing the p ositive rational potential to help make this a world of morality, peace and joy. Trust yourself." - Dan Barker Optimism + Political Correcteness makes Death by stoning= Rocking your world "The belief that God will do everything for man is as untenable as the belief th at man can do everything for himself. We must learn that to expect God to do eve rything while we do nothing is not faith but superstition." - Martin Luther King Jr. "Winners make commitments, losers make excuses." - John Schuerholz "You deserve what you settle for." "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not act but a habit." - Aristotle Maybe it?s my fault. Maybe I lead you to believe that it was easy, when it wasn? t. Maybe I made you think my highlights started at the free throw line, and not in the gym. Maybe I made you think that every shot I took was a game winner. Tha t my game was built on flash and not fire. Maybe it?s my fault that you didn?t s ee that failure gave me strength, that my pain was my motivation. Maybe I lead y ou to believe that basketball was a God-given gift, and not something I worked f or every single day of my life. Maybe I destroyed the game. Or maybe, you?re jus t making excuses. - Michael Jordan Look me in the eyes. It?s okay if you?re scared, so am I; but were scared for di fferent reasons. I?m scared of what I won?t become, and you?re scared of what I could become. Look at me. I won?t let myself end where I started. I won?t let my self finish where I began. I know what is within me, even if you can?t see it ye t. Look me in the eyes, I have something more important than courage, I have pat ience. I will become what I know I am. - Michael Jordan "I think a lot of people like to know their place in the galaxy, to make their e xistence matter in some way. I like to believe we are who are. We don't need to make excuses for it and we don't need to try harder for it. Things will happen a s they'll happen and life will have the final say on what we did." "Life is a negotiation. We all want. We all give to get what we want." - Mass Effect 2 "Always own up to your mistakes, even if you keep making it." "I know you think this story has no purpose other than keeping Sarah Palin?s nam e in the headlines for another news cycle. I know you think she has nothing to o ffer the national dialog and that her speeches are just coded talking points mix ed in with words picked up at random from a Thesaurus. I know you think Sarah Palin is at best a self-promoting ignoramus and at worst a shameless media troll who will abuse any platform to deliver dog-whistle encou ragement to a far right base, that may include possible insurrectionists. I know you think her reality show was pathetically unstatesmanlike and at the sa me time I know you believe it represents the pinnacle of her potential. And that her transparent desperation to be a celebrity so completely eclipsed her intere st in public service so long ago that there would be more journalistic integrity on reporting on of the lesser Kardashians? ass implants. I know, i know that when you arrive at the office each day you say a silent pray er that maybe, just maybe, Sarah Palin will at long last just shut up for just t en f*cking minutes. I know because I can see it in your eyes. Well, guess what, Mika that?s the gig. And it?s only January of 2011, kiddo. And you have a minimum of two more years of this ahead of you. You want to stay in this game? You dig deep. You find another gear. You show up to work every day an d get your hear and makeup done. You slap on a smile, get out there on TV and re peat what Sarah Palin said on Hannity last night right into the lens. I have faith in you, kid. You can do it. See you in New Hampshire. I?ll buy." - Stephen Colbert Thinking about the new Reaper threat, Shepard shook his head. "No. Life's always full of problems, I think. More optimistic people would call them 'challenges'. " He stood up and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You've got the powe r to make a difference, Shiala. Not everyone does. If people like you and me eve r quit, what'll happen to the people that count on us?" - Mass Effect 2 'Kill a man and his pain is brief; destroy his life and his pain is forever' "Nothing worthwhile is ever easy." Every choice had a consequence; every choice had meaning, carried weight. That e verything he did meant something for better or worse. "In the face of tragedy, you'll often see the best and worst in people." "There's right and wrong and you chose right. There's good and evil and you chos e good. In a galaxy that's considered 'gray', it's the people that pick absolute s and have the conviction to stand by their decision regardless of how painful t he consequences may be who are the special ones," Shepard said. "A friend sacrif icing themself isn't something anyone gets used to. Betrayal even more so. - Mass Effect 2 "Some people drown, that's all. It's not fair but it happens. Some people drown. " - Stephen King, Stand By Me " People like to name things after great people like ships, buildings, and highw ays. But a man isn't truly great until he's named after a U.S Marines rifle." " One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching." ?Never tell a young person that anything cannot be done. God may have been waiti ng centuries for someone ignorant enough of the impossible to do that very thing .? - G. M. Trevelyan People do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confessi on of character. ? Ralph Waldo Emerson The measure of a man?s real character is what he would do if he knew he would ne ver be found out. ? Thomas B Macaulay How true Daddy?s words were when he said: all children must look after their own upbringing. Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, b ut the final forming of a person?s character lies in their own hands. ? Anne Frank The man, who cannot endure to have his errors and shortcomings brought to the su rface and made known, but tries to hide them, is unfit to walk the highway of tr uth. ? James Allen There can be no friendship without confidence; and no confidence, without integr ity The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. ? Einstein Those who are unwilling to invest in the future haven?t earned one. - H.W. Lewis If you have tried to do something and failed, you are vastly better off than if you had tried to do nothing and succeeded. You must never regret what might have been. The past that did not happen is as hidden from us as the future we cannot see. - Richard Martin Stern My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content wit h your failure. - Abraham Lincoln Men do not fail; they give up trying. - Elihu Root Fear of failure must never be a reason not to try something ? Frederick Smith Never let your head hang down. Never give up and sit down and grieve. Find anoth er way. And don?t pray when it rains if you don?t pray when the sun shines. - Leroy Satchel Paige I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders. ? Jewish Proverb Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I?ll show you someone who has overcome adversity. ? Lou Holtz "Everything is more complicated than you think. You only see a tenth of what is true. There are a million little strings attached to every choice you make; you can destroy your life every time you choose. But maybe you won't know for twenty years. And you'll never ever trace it to its source. And you only get one chanc e to play it out. Just try and figure out your own divorce. And they say there i s no fate, but there is: it's what you create. Even though the world goes on for eons and eons, you are here for a fraction of a fraction of a second. Most of y our time is spent being dead or not yet born. But while alive, you wait in vain, wasting years, for a phone call or a letter or a look from someone or something to make it all right. And it never comes or it seems to but doesn't really. And so you spend your time in vague regret or vaguer hope for something good to com e along. Something to make you feel connected, to make you feel whole." - from the pastor's eulogy in Synecdoche, New York " Anger could be useful, but only when it was anger rought forth on your own, sh aped to your ends. Not when it was provoked by someone else." - Star Wars: Death Star "Don't hesitate, that's the first rule. There are two lessons when it comes to t raining and war. One, don't hesitate. In training that means you better be doing something, as fast as you can, all the time. Never stop, never hesitate. Do as I say, when I say, faster than I can say it. In war it means when you see someon e to kill, kill him. Don't hesitate. "That's part of your problem, you see. You people have no appreciation for histo ry. You only have time for tweets and Facebook and who Tiger Woods is fucking. A nd when it comes to the big stories, to wars that can kill thousands and ruin mi llions of lives, you never bother to look behind the headlines, you don't take t he time to read about why things are the way they are and look for the truth beh ind the spin of your politicians or the hysteria of those talking heads on your TV screens." - The Templar Salvation "Supermodels are beautiful girls, Will. A beautiful girl can make you dizzy, lik e you've been drinking Jack and Coke all morning. She can make you feel high ful l of the single greatest commodity known to man - promise. Promise of a better d ay. Promise of a greater hope. Promise of a new tomorrow. This particular aura c an be found in the gait of a beautiful girl. In her smile, in her soul, the way she makes every rotten little thing about life seem like it's going to be okay. The supermodels, Willy? That's all they are. Bottled promise. Scenes from a bran d new day. Hope dancing in stiletto heels." - Beautiful Girls "Your life is defined by its opportunities... even the ones you miss." - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button "It's a funny thing about comin' home. Looks the same, smells the same, feels th e same. You'll realize what's changed is you." - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button "We're meant to lose the people we love. How else would we know how important th ey are to us?" - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button "It's funny how sometimes the people we remember the least make the greatest imp ression on us." - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button "Everybody wants to be Bruce Wayne" "Nobody really wants to be Batman." - SurvivingtheWorld.net "How can you fight for personal rights if you do not value them?" "I fight to have the choice to value anything at all," Harry replied immediately . "I'm not fighting for the right to design society, just for society to exist o f its own design," "My body feels like shit, but my mind won't let me fall asleep. It's like I'm in a perpetual state of fuck you." ?I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.? - Maya Angelou "Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day out of the year to r emind us that we're here for something else beside ourselves." - Eric Sevaried If they sacrifice themselves for their cause, and their cause is wrong, is their sacrifice as reprehensible as their cause? Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone , we can be with other without using them as a means of escape. "History's one long series of one country messing with another. We're guilty of it as anyone else, and it goes on. So a lot of what I do has to do with dealing with the blowback from the fuckups of others-usually the geniuses running our fo reign policy. But it doesn't change the fact that assholes like our Iranian frie nd need to be taken out. It has to be done, and I have no problem doing it. I me an, sure, maybe the guy has grievances that stack up, maybe we're the ones who t riggered whatever turned him into this bad motherfucker...it doesn't change what he is now, or justify what he's done." - The Templar Salvation "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein "Draw a crazy picture, Write a nutty poem, Sing a mumble-gumble song, Whistle th rough your comb. Do a loony-goony dance' Cross the kitchen floor, Put something silly in the world, That ain't been there before." - Shel Silverstein "What did you lose when you grew into an adult? You lost your salvation. You los t the ability to see things simply, or appreciate new things with wonder, and mo st important of all -- separate what you feel in your heart from what other peop le told you about the world "is real". You gained so much power in terms of mone y, but you lost all the power of your imagination and your heart. If you had dre ams, they died." - Dominik Wermus Strive for progress, not perfection. -Unknown "I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed o ver and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. " - Michael Jordan Fear is what stops you... courage is what keeps you going. - Unknown I?m not going to put my ultimate faith in things. I?m not going to put my te faith in gadgets and contrivances. As a young man with most of my life of me, I decided early to give my life to something eternal and absolute. these little gods that are here today and gone tomorrow, but to God who same yesterday, today, and forever. - Martin Luther King Jr. ultima ahead Not to is the "We can't always predict the outcome of our actions. We can only make them with a true heart." - Dragon Age II Existence is a choice. There is no chaos in the world, only complexity. Knowledge of the complex is wisdom. From wisdom o the world comes wisdom of the self. Mastery of the self is mastery of the world. Loss of the self is the source of suffering. Suffering is a choice, and we can refuse it. It is in our own power to create the world, or destroy it. - Dragon Age II " I mean seriosuly guys holocaust jokes aren't funny Anne Frankly, I won't stand for it." "A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his ass. The doctors described his condition as stable." "You could put out ads in magazines and online and such, guaraunteed 25-30 lbs w eight loss overnight or your money back and then send them instructions on how t o amputate one of their legs." "I like my women how i like my filesystems ... FAT and 16" " The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by tr ibe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened . But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. - Nietzsche During the Second World War, Winston Churchill?s finance minister said Britain s hould cut arts funding to support the war effort. Churchill?s response: ?Then wh at are we fighting for?? " " The human heart is more powerful than the greatest weapon, and when wounded, i t is capable of the blackest of deeds." - Dragon Age II "The largest portion of our life passes while we are doing ill, a goodly share w hile we are doing nothing, and the whole while we are doing that which is not to the purpose. What man can you show me who places any value on his time, who rec kons the worth of each day, who understands that he is dying daily? For we are m istaken when we look forward to death; the major portion of death has already pa ssed. Whatever years be behind us are in death?s hands. " ? Seneca "We live in a culture that prizes and seeks ?once-in-a-lifetime? moments. But in reality every moment is a once-in-a-lifetime moment. You?ll never be 25 years o ld on March 21, 2011 at 8:00 am ever again. It?s a once-in-a-lifetime moment; on ce it?s gone, it?s gone." "Time goes so slowly, we age so slowly that it?s almost impossible to understand and to realize that time is a finite commodity. It feels as though we are stand ing still, when in reality we are all traveling on a train that is ever hurtling onward. Look out the ?window:? you will never see the scene you glimpse in that instant ever again; it fades immediately into the distance, gone forever. Breat he in, breathe out. Life just moved on a bit and you?re a little bit older." "It at once becomes starkly clear the great tragedy in always waiting for your l ife to begin. If you wait for your life to start, it never will. This is your li fe, right now. Whether you?re in a college dorm room, or your first apartment, o r a brand new house in the burbs. Whether you?re single, dating, or married. Thi s is your life. Whatever it is you want to do, whatever it is you want to change about yourself, whatever it is you want to see and feel and experience in this lifetime, you can?t put it off until your life begins or it will never happen. G et started now. And start savoring these every day, once-in-a-lifetime moments." - The Art of Manliness "Good Morning! While you were on Spring Break, we had a major humanitarian disas ter and went to war with someone else." - BG. Brower "The poorest way to face life is to face it with a sneer." - Theodore Roosevelt "...the good man should be both a strong and a brave man; that is, he should be able to fight, he should be able to serve his country as a soldier, if the need arises. There are well-meaning philosophers who declaim against the unrighteousn ess of war. They are right only if they lay all their emphasis upon the m War is a dreadful thing, and unjust war is a crime against humanity. But it is such a crime because it is unjust, not because it is a war. The choice must ever be in favor of righteousness, and this is whether the alternative be peace or whether the alternative be war. The question must not be merely, Is there to be peace or war? The question must be, Is it right to prevail? Are the great laws of righte ousness once more to be fulfilled? And the answer from a strong and virile peopl e must be ?Yes,? whatever the cost. Every honorable effort should always be made to avoid war, just as every honorable effort should always be made by the indiv idual in private life to keep out of a brawl, to keep out of trouble; but no sel f-respecting individual, no self-respecting nation, can or ought to submit to wr ong." - Theodore Roosevelt So What'd You Learn in Class Today? - Proper bowling technique - Mail order brides actually do look like the picture...sometimes. - Errbody in the house getting tipsy! - Crack cannot be baked into food at 450 degress. - Everything causes cancer - When looking at a mans penis, it must be at a 45 degree angle. - The Backstreet Boys were awesome, and everyone just so happens to know the lyr ics to their songs. - Level 2 Toilet Paper - A new brand of booty shorts where,instead of words on their asses, you put new s articles and famous speeches/quotes. - ...I don't know, but all I can think about is a penguin holding a PDA. - Ayapan has a blow-up doll...of himself - We're all probably going to have girls when we have kids. - If a miniature black hole swallows up the schoolhouse, you are guaranteed at L EAST a half-day off of school. - Definition of a change management team: They manage change...as a team. - You've discovered numerous substances to lace cocaine with. - Computers would be so much more cooler if every other term was replaced with t he word zombie. - Routers can be promiscuous, they accept all comers. - You've determined that creating a virus that would only affect porn websites w ould ruin peoples lives everywhere. - I apparently go to the strip club every Wednesday. - canoodling - The fogs were windy, the windows were foggy, quoth the Raven, nevermore. - "Now downloading programs from the internet is illegal.( said while instructor writes a torrent site on the board and discreetly moves to the right of it.) - Pine forests have pine trees while rain forests have rain...trees... - Stealing can also be known as the tactial re-allocation of resources. - The sight of a screwdriver brings out a deep,seething well of hate. - Your Suicide Prevention officer just told you to go die. - Your instructor spoke in a deep southern accent for half the class in an effor t to make things more interesting. - Ooh-rah Ssgt! - The word,"fuck" has become a prevalent word in your vocabulary. - Can I smell your box? - You speed through lessons so you can talk about other important shit like the finer mechanics of time travel. - Proper eyebrow placement on women. - The finer mechanics of time travel. - How to waddle like a duck, in line. - Don't put bad things into regular civilian gear. Bad things normally happen. - I only curse when I'm either in public, ar0und small children or old people. - Using government equipment to power your kids toys. - You have created a scenario that violates all the safety rules you JUST went o ver. - I paid absolutely nothing for that! I stole it fair and square! - Apparently, in inclement weather, woman can wear knee high boots...wait, what? - You had a race to see whose CD drive will close the fastest. - Don't make me PFS dude! - You randomly burst into Disney songs in the middle of class for no real reason . - Battle shits vs. quiet mouse - Ways to treat woman right...and lose a lot of money in the process. - You want to get a cardboard cutout of your instructor to put into pictures to prove that we wasn't really killing Usama Bin Laden on leave. - You took the time to figure out what exactly the Wingdings font it. - Somebody give me a shitbag, I want to go apeshit on someone today. I need to fill my quota. - If a girl has five teeth and a flipper, then she is attractive to at least one person in the military. - You've had an in depth conversation about muffin tops, FUPA's, and how fat peo ple need lessons in the proper sizing of clothes. - Hackey Sack during breaks - "...and here is an annoying chart...I don't know what it means... - He's going to hit you with a 2X6. That's two more inches of pain! *torrential downpour going on outside* "Think we might end up going back to cla- *gigantic flash of lightning goes by*Y eah, we're not going back." - Me " If your life had a face, I'd punch it." - Daniel Boothe " In the Marine Corps, always prepare for the worst." " So the abominable snowman is going to come down from out of the mountains and kill us all in our sleep." - Me " Life completely changes after you bust a load in a girls face" - Nick Acevedo " I wish Vista were alive so I could murder it." - me " There aren't any creationists in here are there?" "...Like crabs?" - SSgt. Elliott and Acevedo " Well if we ever get attacked by China, Mexico, Canada..." "Nazi Zombies" " Or Nazi Zombies." - One Random Day in the SCIF " " " " So Aya-ay, what do you know about amino acids? Well, you know how no one knows about how electrolytes work?" Yeah?" About that much." - Me and Boothe " When I think of romance, I think of bacon." - Sgt. Aich "This is just one of those days..." "It's Monday..." "I know..." - Acevedo and I "Strippers make more way more money than us...why the fuck am I here?" - Random SCIF conversation " In fact, you could go home right now, grab a metallic bowl, drill a hole throu gh it and make your own antenna." " Hmm..., who has a lot of bowls in their room?..." " Hey Moore!..." - Another Random SCIF Conversation " What slide are we on?" " 114 SSgt." " Jesus Christ..." - Yet Another Random SCIF Conversation "I'm still waiting for that Lions vs Browns Superbowl, both teams undefeated." " What, did every other team die off?" - Boothe, Hentrich, and SSgt. Elliott " No, we can't go off on anymore tangents!" " Quick, somebody ask me about how I feel about cheese." " How do you feel about cheese Sgt?" "Damnit!" - SSgt. Elliott, Sgt. Aich, and Moore One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. "Whic h road do I take?" she asked. "Where do you want to go?" was his response. "I do n't know," Alice answered. "Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter." "I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations and you're not in this wo rld to live up to mine." - Bruce Lee When you get what you want in your struggle for self And the world makes you king for a day Just go to the mirror and look at yourself And see what that man has to say. For it isn?t your father, or mother, or wife Whose judgment upon you must pass The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life Is the one staring back from the glass. He?s the fellow to please ? never mind all the rest For he?s with you, clear to the end And you?ve passed your most difficult, dangerous test If the man in the glass is your friend. You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years And get pats on the back as you pass But your final reward will be heartache and tears If you?ve cheated the man in the glass. - Peter Dale Wimbrow Sr. Don?t risk a life structure upon a day?s foundation. ? The government building at Chicago, a large, massive structure and apparently we ll built, so that it might stand for a century, was recently torn down, not beca use the superstructure was not firm, but because the foundation at several place s was found faulty. Thus, at a great expense, the old building is removed and a new structure is erected, all because the foundation was not safe. Men fail of t heir best efforts because they were unwilling to prepare well in days when prepa ration was the one duty. The foundation for greatness must be laid in youth. Young men frequently make a serious mistake here. They are content with following the pleasures of youth ins tead of improving early opportunities for preparation for life?s great work. Wel lington frequently said that Waterloo was fought and won while he was a schoolbo y. It was what he learned then that prepared him for that great battle. Inattent ion to the foundation has mined many a structure. Inattention to the intellectua l and moral development and preparation has ruined many a life. See yon building rise. While men were engaged in laying the foundation there was nothing attractive about it. Dirt and stones and mortar are not sightly objects . It is only when the superstructure is rising that the attention of the passerby is given to it. This is why not more attention is given to foundation work. M any a youth who has attracted attention by doing work successfully thinks that h is foundation is sure, and looks only to the superstructure. Many a college grad uate has dreamed of greatness while delivering his final oration as the applause of friends greets his ear: but too often he is never heard of afterward. Life c onsists of more real and earnest things than brilliant graduating orations. Do not mistake the applause of others as success. Avoid the idol which many wors hip?the love of notoriety and applause. Look to the foundations. - ?Foundations? From Traits of Character, 1899 By Henry F. Kletzing ?Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while so that we can see our life with a clearer view again.? People say they're trying to 'make their mark on the world' before they die - th at's another kind of silly thing to say. You can't make your mark on the world u nless you've got a bulldozer or know the secret of making crop circles when no o ne's looking. I figure if you're going to leave your mark, you should leave it with people, ra ther than inanimate things. Leave it by the words you say, or the things you do. The good things, and the ba d things. They go hand in hand. I don't think there's a 'big mark' you leave, so much as little ones, all over the place. Here and there, people repeat somethin g you said, because it was a good idea. Or you made them think something differe ntly. Or you just loved them, is all. All those little marks you leave, they'll add up to a big one, someday. And in t he meantime, you should just live your life the best you can with what you've go t to work with, and call it good. I guess that's what I'd recommend. And while you're at it, try not to take the w orld too seriously, because sooner or later you're going to end up its punchline . And you can choose to be pissed off about it, or you can choose, instead, to l augh. " Mere existance should not be an offense." - Dragon Age II "Wars are not fought only by childless men." - The Patriot Nobody wants to talk to or sit next to someone whose breath is outlawed by the t erms of the Geneva Conventions You decided every moment of every day who you are and what you believe in. You g et a second chance, every second. To live a creative life we must lose our fear of being wrong. The greatest revenge is to go out and accomplish what others say you cannot do. "Words from a Soldier: I took a job knowing I would never get rich. I've missed out on many holidays & moments with my children I will never get back spent them working in places most of you are too afraid to go. I may have to lay down my l ife and have taken them. My life expectancy is shorter than yours because of the stress and general danger. But yet you think I'm overpaid & and you won't pay m e because you can't work together to keep our government running. Yet you will p ay yourself? Just remember were willing to do the worst things possible to those that threaten our people and our country. So imagine what were able to do to th ose who threaten to take away from our wifes and children. " "Saying 'I notice you're a nerd' is like saying, 'Hey, I notice that you'd rathe r be intelligent than be stupid, that you'd rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record o f Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?' In fact, it seems to me that most contemporary in sults are pretty lame. Even 'lame' is kind of lame. Saying 'You're lame' is like saying 'You walk with a limp.' Yeah, whatever, so does 50 Cent, and he's done a ll right for himself." - John Green "It?s all right to talk about ?long white robes over yonder,? in all of its symb olism. But ultimately people want some suits and dresses and shoes to wear down here. It?s all right to talk about ?streets flowing with milk and honey,? but Go d has commanded us to be concerned about the slums down here, and his children w ho can?t eat three square meals a day. It?s all right to talk about the new Jeru salem, but one day, God?s preachers must talk about the New York, the new Atlant a, the new Philadelphia, the new Los Angeles, the new Memphis, Tennessee. This i s what we have to do." - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. The civilization of Europe overshadows us; it is symbolized by the speed of our flight. The great longings of the western soul, its strength, the true secret of all its progress, is embodied in the short word - faster! Our life is pursued b y this violent desire, this painful insatiability, this sublime obsession - fast er! --- Luigi Barzini Sr., writing in 1908. It?s not dying for faith that?s so hard, it?s living up to it. - William M. Thackeray "You're not going to be alive in a few centuries, though; that's the future's pr oblem. And really, fuck those guys. All flying around in their precious jetpacks like they're better than you. They deserve what they get." - Cracked.com "There are good reasons for the failure fashion. Success and failure are not pol ar opposites: you often need to endure the second to enjoy the first. Failure ca n indeed be a better teacher than success. It can also be a sign of creativity. The best way to avoid short-term failure is to keep churning out the same old pr oducts, though in the long term this may spell your doom. Businesses cannot inve nt the future?their own future?without taking risks." - The Economist, Fail Often, Fail Well. There are so very many dramatic ways that vast, incomprehensible galactic phenom ena can kill you, that every single day that you go unmurdered by space is a mir acle. Cherish it. - Cracked.com "The past: Our cradle, not our prison; there is danger as well as appeal in its glamour. The past is for inspiration, not imitation, for continuation, not repitition." - Israel Zangwill "True moderation in the defence of political liberties is indeed a difficult thi ng: pretending to want fair shares for all, every man raises himself by depressi ng his neighbour; our anxiety to avoid oppression leads us to practice it oursel ves; the injustice we repel, we visit in turn upon others, as if there were no c hoice except either to do it or to suffer it." - Livy (Translation by Aubrey de Selincourt), 29 BC. ?It is every man?s obligation to put back into the world at least the equivalent of what he takes out of it." ? Albert Einstein "I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could. I can make a C+ fee l like a Congressional medal of honor and an A- feel like a slap in the face. Ho w dare you waste my time with anything less than your very best." - Taylor Mali "Because your own strength is unequal to the task, do not assume that it is beyo nd the powers of man; but if anything is within the powers and province of man, believe that it is within your own compass also." - Marcus Aurelius "You have power over your mind ? not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength." ? Marcus Aurelius "A lifetime of glory is worth a moment of pain." - Unbroken "This self-resepect and sense of self-worth, the innermost armament of the soul, lies at the heart of humaness; to be deprived of it is to be dehumanized, to be cleaved from, and cast below mankind...Without dignity, identity is erased. In its absence, men are defined not by themselves, but by their captors and the cir cumstances in which they are forced to live." - Unbroken "Dignity is as essential to human life as water, food, and oxygen. The stubborn retention of it, even in the face of extreme physical hardship, can hold man's s oul in his body long past the point at which the body should have surrendered it . The loss of it can carry a man off as surely as thirst, hunger, exposure, and asphyxiation, and with greater cruelty. In places like Kwajalein, degradation co uld be as lethal as a bullet." - Unbroken " I have read recently that the death toll of American forces has soared here in Afghanistan. Almost every major news outlet has focused on the sheer numbers of Americans who have lost their lives here. Politicians and activists haves used those numbers to push their own personal agendas and ideas. That is shameful. It is shameful because, by flaunting our loss of life as a reason why we shouldn't be doing what we are doing, they have lost sight of why America and its allies are here---faith---faith that we can make a difference. I have faith that if my presence here can serve to improve the life of one Afghan, then I have done some thing worthy and good. I have faith that the man or woman who stands beside me w ould give his or her life to protect mine. I have faith that I would do the same . I have faith that my family knows me and believes in me enough to endure the h ardships of military life. I have faith that, should I be fortunate and lose my life trying to improve the lives of others, the Marine Corps family will take ca re of my family." - LtCol A. Che Bolden "What did Brooklynites have to lose?" "No, really. They live in Brooklyn. They have nothing to lose." - Cracked.com But man has given a false importance to death Any animal plant or man who dies Adds to Natures compost heap Because the manure without which Nothing could grow nothing could be created Death is simply part of the process. -The Marquis de Sade in Peter Weiss's immortal play: The Persecution and Assassi nation of Jean-Paul Marat as Performed by the Inmates at the Asylum of Charenton Under the Direction of the Marquis de Sade. More commonly known as Marat/Sade. "A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the univers e. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minute s ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow." - Men in Black "Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying. Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other. Don't be afraid to encounter risks." - Nancye Sims "I can't decide whether I want to shit or vomit." - Garbossa "When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back ! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? D emand lifes manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! Wit h the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burn s your house down!" - Cave Johnson (Portal 2) "It's never too late to be who you might have been." - George Eliot "Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out." - R. Collier "The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but becau se he loves what is behind him." ? G.K. Chesterton "Ultimately, we're all dead men. Sadly, we cannot choose how, but ? we can decid e how we meet that end in order that we are remembered ? as men." - Proximo, Gladiator "Anyone who clings to the historically untrue ? and thoroughly immoral ? doctrin e that "violence never solves anything" I would advise to conjure up the ghosts of Napoleon Bonaparte and of the Duke of Wellington and let them debate it. The ghost of Hitler could referee, and the jury might well be the Dodo, the Great Au k, and the Passenger Pigeon. Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in h istory than has any other factor, and the contrary opinion is wishful thinking a t its worst. Breeds that forget this basic truth have always paid for it with th eir lives and freedoms. " -Lt. Col. Jean V Dubois (Ret.) Starship Troopers "There is an old song which asserts that "the best things in life are free". Not true! Utterly false! This was the tragic fallacy which brought on the decadence and collapse of the democracies of the twentieth century; those noble experimen ts failed because the people had been led to believe that they could simply vote for whatever they wanted? and get it, without toil, without sweat, without tear s." - Lt. Col. Jean V Dubois (Ret.) Starship Troopers "If you have to ask it's not a gift." People often define their own worth by the worth of those they feel superior to. "No rest is worth anything except the rest that is earned." "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift." - Steve Prefontaine "Suffer the pain of discipline or suffer the pain of regret!" "Only the weak attempts to accomplish what he knows he can already achieve." - Stella Juarez "Everybody pities the weak; jealousy you have to earn" "Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. Whe n you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength." - Arnold Schwarzenegger "Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts. " - Steven Wright "Hell is when you meet the person you could have been." "Cancer can take away all my physical abilities. It cannot touch my mind, it can not touch my heart and it cannot touch my soul. And those three things are going to carry on forever." - Jimmy V "Every sunrise in Africa a Gazelle wakes up, it knows that it must out run the fastest lion in order to survive. Every sunrise in Africa a Lion wakes up, It knows that it must out run the slowest Gazelle in order to survive, It doesnt matter if you are a Gazelle or a Lion, come sunrise, you'd better be running" ?Gallantly will I show the world that I am a specially selected and well trained warrior. My heart and my soul will be the fuel to carry my body when my limbs a re to weary. I will never falter, I will never lose focus as long as there is ho pe in my mind and my heart still beats. I will never give in to the evil that is weakness and I will fight that evil with my dying breath. Energetically will I meet my enemies, no one will challenge me, none will stop me from my goal. I sha ll defeat them on the field of battle for I am better trained and will fight wit h all my might. Surrender is not a Champions word. I will never leave a fallen c omrade to fall at the hands of my enemy and under no circumstances will I ever s urrender. Readily will I display the discipline and strength required to fight o n to my objective and I will complete my mission. I will rise when I fallen. I w ill rip the heart from my enemy and leave it beating on the ground. My enemy nee d not fear me but he will respect me and if he does not. I will make him respect me with all that I have to give.? "People were created to be loved." "Things were created to be used." "The reason why the world is in chaos, is because things are being loves and people are being used." "There are no unstoppable forces in this universe. There are no immovable object s. Everything gives if you push hard enough." - 'Didact', Halo 3 "Remember back in high school when you were talking to that cute girl you really liked, but you couldn't tell if she liked you back, and your fear of rejection prevented you from expressing your feelings in any way apart from night after ni ght of tearful masturbation? Remember when you did the same thing last week?" - Cracked.com "To the soldier (to my knowledge, sparse as it is), the morality of the war is a bout as close to irrelevant as it gets. The War is for Generals and politicians to deal with, soldiers do the battles. What soldier has ever declared war? If a soldier decided a war was unjust would that allow him to abandon his friends to fight without him, just for his own feelings?" "It would be lovely if all the world's nations disbanded their militaries and be at their swords into plowshares, but that's not going to happen any time soon. W e live in a barbaric world, that doesn't excuse barbarism on the part of America or any other state, but it justifies intervention on the side of the weak again st the brutality of the strong. Surely, if killing is wrong then letting people kill and be killed when you have the ability to intervene is wrong as well." "The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to b e." -Socrates ?Our forefathers had civilization inside themselves, the wild outside. We live i n the civilization they created, but within us the wilderness still lingers. Wha t they dreamed, we live, and what they lived, we dream.? - T.K. Whipple "To the Illuminati, and to those of science, let me say this. You have won the w ar. The wheels have been in motion for a long time. Your victory has been inevit able. Never before has it been as obvious as it is at this moment. Science is th e new god. Medicine, electronic communications, space travel, genetic manipulati on... these are the miracles about which we now tell our children. These are the miracles we herald as proof that science will bring us the answers. The ancient stories of immaculate conceptions, burning bushes, and parting seas are no long er relevant. God has become obsolete. Science has won the battle. We concede. Bu t science's victory has cost every one of us. And it has cost us deeply. Science may have alleviated the miseries of disease and drudgery and provided an array of gadgetry for our entertainment and convenience, but it has left us in a world without wonder. Our sunsets have been reduced to wavelengths and frequen cies. The complexities of the universe have been shredded into mathematical equa tions. Even our self-worth as human beings has been destroyed. Science proclaims that Planet Earth and its inhabitants are a meaningless speck in the grand sche me. A cosmic accident. Even the technology that promises to unite us, divides us . Each of us is now electronically connected to the globe, and yet we feel utter ly alone. We are bombarded with violence, division, fracture, and betrayal. Skep ticism has become a virtue. Cynicism and demand for proof has become enlightened thought. Is it any wonder that humans now feel more depressed and defeated than they have at any point in human history? Does science hold anything sacred? Sci ence looks for answers by probing our unborn fetuses. Science even presumes to r earrange our own DNA. It shatters God's world into smaller and smaller pieces in quest of meaning... and all it finds is more questions. The ancient war between science and religion is over. You have won. But you have not won fairly. You have not won by providing answers. You have won by so radic ally reorienting our society that the truths we once saw as signposts now seem i napplicable. Religion cannot keep up. Scientific growth is exponential. It feeds on itself like a virus. Every new breakthrough opens doors for new breakthrough s. Mankind took thousands of years to progress from the wheel to the car. Yet on ly decades from the car into space. Now we measure scientific progress in weeks. We are spinning out of control. The rift between us grows deeper and deeper, an d as religion is left behind, people find themselves in a spiritual void. We cry out for meaning. And believe me, we do cry out. We see UFOs, engage in channeli ng, spirit contact, out-of-body experiences, mind quests -- all these eccentric ideas have a scientific veneer, but they are unashamedly irrational. They are th e desperate cry of the modern soul, lonely and tormented, crippled by its own en lightenment and its inability to accept meaning in anything removed from technol ogy. Science, you say, will save us. Science, I say, has destroyed us. Since the days of Galileo, the Church has tried to slow the relentless march of science, somet imes with misguided means, but always with benevolent intention. Even so, the te mptations are too great for man to resist. I warn you, look around yourselves. T he promises of science have not been kept. Promises of efficiency and simplicity have bred nothing but pollution and chaos. We are a fractured and frantic speci es... moving down a path of destruction. Who is this God science? Who is the God who offers his people power but no moral framework to tell you how to use that power? What kind of God gives a child fir e but does not warn the child of its dangers? The language of science comes with no signposts about good and bad. Science textbooks tell us how to create a nucl ear reaction, and yet they contain no chapter asking us if it is a good or a bad idea. To science, I say this. The Church is tired. We are exhausted from trying to be your signposts. Our resources are drying up from our campaign to be the voice of balance as you plow blindly on in your quest for smaller chips and larger profi ts. We ask not why you will not govern yourselves, but how can you? Your world m oves so fast that if you stop even for an instant to consider the implications o f your actions, someone more efficient will whip past you in a blur. So you move on. You proliferate weapons of mass destruction, but it is the Pope who travel s the world beseeching leaders to use restraint. You clone living creatures, but it is the Church reminding us to consider the moral implications of our actions . You encourage people to interact on phones, video screens, and computers, but it is the Church who opens its doors and reminds us to commune in person as we w ere meant to do. You even murder unborn babies in the name of research that will save lives. Again, it is the Church who points out the fallacy of this reasonin g. And all the while, you proclaim the Church is ignorant. But who is more ignorant ? The man who cannot define lightning or the man who does not respect its awesom e power? This Church is reaching out to you. Reaching out to everyone. And yet t he more we reach, the more you push us away. Show me proof there is a God, you s ay. I say use your telescopes to look to the heavens, and tell me how there coul d not be a God! You ask what God looks like. I say, where did that question come from? The answers are one and the same. Do you not see God in your science? How can you miss him? You proclaim that even the slightest change in the force of g ravity or the weight of an atom would have rendered our universe a lifeless mist rather than our magnificent sea of heavenly bodies, and yet you fail to see God 's hand in this? Is it really so much easier to believe that we simply chose the right card from a deck of billions? Have we become so spiritually bankrupt that we would rather believe in mathematical impossibility than in a power greater t han us? Whether or not you believe in God, you must believe this. When we as a species a bandon our trust in the power greater than us, we abandon our sense of accountab ility. Faith... all faiths... are admonitions that there is something we cannot understand, something to which we are accountable... with faith we are accountab le to each other, to ourselves, and to a higher truth. Religion is flawed, but o nly because man is flawed. If the outside world could see this Church as I do... looking beyond the ritual of these walls... they would see a modern miracle... a brotherhood of imperfect, simple souls wanting only to be a voice of compassio n in a world spinning out of control. Are we obsolete? Are these men dinosaurs? Am I? Does the world really need a voi ce for the poor, the weak, the oppressed, the unborn child? Do we really need so uls like these who, though imperfect, spend their lives imploring each of us to read the signposts of morality and not lose our way? Tonight we are perched on a precipice. None of us can afford to be apathetic. Whether you see this evil as Satan, corruption, or immorality... the dark force is alive and growing every da y. Do not ignore it. The force, though mighty, is not invincible. Goodness can p revail. Listen to your hearts. Listen to God. Together we can step back from thi s abyss. Pray with me." - Angels and Demons "It's not enough to survive, Elsa. You have to try to make the world a better pl ace." - L.A Noire " I know you, Cole. You're still beating yourself up over that medal on Sugar Lo af. The medal you think you didn't deserve. But you just don't get it. Nobody de serves a medal, it's just the ridiculous situations you find yourself in and how you react to it. You think you failed up on that hill but courage isn't a tap y ou can turn on or off. Courage isn't permanent. It's a tenuous and fickle thing. Courage and cowardice exist in every man. Get over it." - L.A Noire ?It?s not whether you win or lose, but how you disparage the pathetic lives of t he little people who make it possible for you to have a career bouncing an infla table ball.? - Stephen Colbert on Lebron James " Nothing about war is right. It's a force of nature like rain wind or faith. It simply exists, and we must deal with its consequences." - Dragon Age " No one is born wise. We only get that way by enduring." - Dragon Age ?A person?s name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any l anguage.? - Dan Carnegie "That which is unknown and unseen always commands the greatest fear." "Many claim they wish to destroy their enemies. If this were true, most would be compelled to destroy themselves." "A fortress won't stop the Marines. But it may slow them down." 10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong... 01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning. 02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging a round tall people will make you tall. 03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. P eople may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract. 04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; wom en are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still ill egal. 05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed. 06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, inf ertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphana ges aren't full yet, and the world needs more children. 07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only r aise straight children. 08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours,the valu es of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only on e religion in America. 09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. T hat's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children. 10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector econo my, or longer life spans. To celebrate Father's Day, Theodore Roosevelt would go to an outdoor boxing ring because his biological parents were mountains and a fist. - Cracked.com "Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal ." "Pride is concerned with who is right. Humility is concerned with what is right. " "A man can live with almost any how, so long as he has a why." "As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them." - President John F Kennedy "Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I heard a bump in the middle of the nigh t. I quickly turned on my TV to the Disney Channel, because the thought of being murdered while watching Hannah Montana was too absurd to ever happen. I am conv inced I saved my own life." -Matthew Boyd I tremble for my country when I remember that God is just. - Thomas Jefferson "Do not ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come aliv e. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." -Gil Bailie "Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if yo u work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen." - Conan O'Brien ?Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your an gels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.? -August Wilson "If we do not lay out ourselves in the service of mankind whom should we serve?" - John Adams "All societies are based on rules to protect pregnant women and young children. All else is surplusage, excrescence, adornment, luxury, or folly, which can ? an d must ? be dumped in emergency to preserve this prime function. As racial survi val is the only universal morality, no other basic is possible. Attempts to form ulate a "perfect society" on any foundation other than "Women and children first !" is not only witless, it is automatically genocidal. Nevertheless, starry-eyed idealists (all of them male) have tried endlessly ? and no doubt will keep on t rying." - Robert A. Heinlein "Take sides! Always take sides! You will sometimes be wrong ? but the man who re fuses to take sides must always be wrong." - Robert A. Heinlein "The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just." - Abraham Lincoln "Pain or damage don't end the world... or despair... or fuckin' beatins. The world ends when your dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man... and give some back. " - Al Swearengen from the show Deadwood "Try not to become a man of success, but rather a man of value." - Albert Einstein "After the game, the king and pawn go into the same box." - Italian Proverb "The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the aver age voter." - Winston Churchill "The service we render to others is really the rent we pay for our room on this earth. It is obvious that man is himself a traveler; that the purpose of this wo rld is not "to have and to hold" but "to give and serve." There can be no other meaning." - Sir Wilfred Grenfell " Why do people measure the quality of their lives by the number of years they l ive, and not the quailty of those years?" - Gabriel Iglesias Randomness and spontaneity are the keys to a youthful life "Friendship isn't about who you've known the longest? it's about who came and ne ver left your side." "Intelligence was believing only half of what you hear, read, or see. Brilliance was knowing which half to believe." "What is the point of being alive if you don't at least try to do something rema rkable?" - John Green "No one ever won a chess match by making only forward moves. Just like in life, sometimes you have to move backward to take a better step forward." "What do I fear?" I fear stagnation and lack of progress. I fear never reaching my potential and being average. I fear being forgotten...the past...Yesterday's news. I fear giving up and being passed by, going softly into that good night. I fear letting those I love down, letting myself down. I fear settling, giving into the "that's the way it is" mindset. I fear dying without leaving my mark. I fear not feeling these fears anymore and just floating along. These fears feed me, they nourish my drive. I love my fear. Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power. If you realize that you have enough, you are truly rich. If you stay in the center and embrace death with your whole heart, you will endure forever. From Tao Te Ching, Chapter 33 "Life isn't really about what you deserve. We just have to make do with what we have." "What if your worst enemy, never wanted to be your enemy?" " Life brings many challenges, and one must learn to flow and adapt to them, to yield and be firm at the same time, to take the hardships life brings and turn t hem to one's benefit." - Jade Empire " One must choose to search for truth. To force it on others accomplishes little ." - Assassins Creed: Brotherhood "those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber." --Aristotle "I also want to speak tonight directly to Muslims throughout the world. We respe ct your faith. It's practiced freely by many millions of Americans and by millio ns more in countries that America counts as friends. Its teachings are good and peaceful, and those who commit evil in the name of Allah blaspheme the name of A llah. The terrorists are traitors to their own faith, trying, in effect, to hija ck Islam itself.The enemy of America is not our many Muslim friends. It is not o ur many Arab friends. Our enemy is a radical network of terrorists and every gov ernment that supports them." -George W. Bush address to congress, Sept. 20, 2001 " Only in death does duty end." - Warhammer 40000: Space Marine "If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future, God help you." - Portal 2 "To any intelligent being, there is no emotion more important than hope. Individ ually or collectively, we must hope that the future will be better than the past , that our offspring, and theirs after them, will be a bit closer to an ideal so ciety, whatever our perception of that might be." -R.A. Salvatore "But there is no love in thought, nothing that lasts in deduction, only death in rationalism." -Stephen King "Honor exists inside you and can only radiate out. What goes on outside can't ch ange it or kill it unless you abandon your honor. Too many folks give it up too easily, then do whatever they can to fill the void in their hearts." -Michael A. Stackpole "If you want to build a ship, don't drum up the men to gather wood, divide the w ork and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea." -Antoine de Saint-Exupery "To those who say that our expenditures for Public Works and other means for rec overy are a waste that we cannot afford, I answer that no country, however rich, can afford the waste of its human resources. Demoralization caused by vast unem ployment is our greatest extravagance. Morally, it is the greatest menace to our social order. Some people try to tell me that we must make up our minds that fo r the future we shall permanently have millions of unemployed just as other coun tries have had them for over a decade. What may be necessary for those countries is not my responsibility to determine. But as for this country, I stand or fall by my refusal to accept as a necessary condition of our future a permanent army of unemployed. On the contrary, we mus t make it a national principle that we will not tolerate a large army of unemplo yed and that we will arrange our national economy to end our present unemploymen t as soon as we can and then to take wise measures against its return. I do not want to think that it is the destiny of any American to remain permanently on re lief rolls." - Franklin D. Roosevelt "No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible." - Voltaire TUCKED AWAY in our subconscious minds is an idyllic vision. We see ourselves on a long, long trip that almost spans the continent. We're traveling by passenger train, and out the windows we drink in the passing scene of cars on nearby highw ays, of children waving at a crossing, of cattle grazing on a distant hillside, of smoke pouring from a power plant, of row upon row of corn and wheat, of flatl ands and valleys, of mountains and rolling hillsides, of city skylines and villa ge halls, of biting winter and blazing summer and cavorting spring and docile fa ll. But uppermost in our in hour we will pull ing. And once we get es will be fulfilled minds is the final destination. On a certain day at a certa into the station. There will be bands playing and flags wav there so many wonderful dreams will come true. So many wish and so many pieces of our lives finally will be neatly fitt ed together like a completed jigsaw puzzle. How restlessly we pace the aisles, d amming the minutes for loitering, waiting, waiting, waiting for the station. However, sooner or later we must realize there is no one station, no one place t o arrive at once and for all. The true joy of life is the trip. The station is o nly a dream. It constantly outdistances us. When we get to the station that will be it!" we cry. Translated it means, "When I'm 18 that will be it! When I buy a new 450 SL Mercedes Benz, that will be it! When I put the last kid through college that will be it! When I have paid off th e mortgage that will be it! When I win a promotion that will be it! When I reach the age of retirement that will be it! I shall live happily ever after!" Unfortunately, once we get "it," then "it" disappears. The station somehow hides itself at the end of an endless track. It isn't the burdens of today that drive men mad. Rather, it is regret over yest erday or fear of tomorrow. Regret and fear are twin thieves who would rob us of today. So, stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles. Instead, climb more mountains , eat more ice cream, go barefoot more often, swim more rivers, watch more sunse ts, laugh more and cry less. Life must be lived as we go along. The station will come soon enough. The Station, By Robert J. Hastings. "Have I not destroyed my enemy when I have made him into my friend?" - Abraham Lincoln "It is not a sin to fight for the right cause. There are those who words alone w ill not reach." - Android 16, Dragon Ball Z "Sometimes I think we're alone in the universe, and sometimes I think we're not. In either case the idea is quite staggering." Arthur C Clarke I love Antoine de Saint-Expery's quotes, my favourite is this one: "I have no ri ght, by anything I do or say, to demean a human being in his own eyes. What matt ers is not what I think of him; it is what he thinks of himself. To undermine a man's self-respect is a sin. " - Antoine de Saint-Expery "It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society" -Jiddu Krishnamurti " These people who are making a big deal out of gay marriage? I don't give a fuc k about who wants to get married to anybody else! Why not!? We're making a big d eal out of things we shouldn't be making a big deal out of. They go on and on with all this bullshit about "sanctity" -don't give me that "s anctiy" crap! Just give everybody the chance they want to live the life they wan t." - Clint Eastwood "How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to im prove the world." - Anne Frank "In my opinion young people today, whites, blacks, browns whatever else there is , must realize that they live in a time of revolution, a time of change. Those i n power have abused it and there has got to be change. A better world needs to b e built and the only way it is going to get built is by extreme methods. I will stand with anyone, I don't care what color you are, as long as you want to chang e the miserable condition that exists on this earth." - Malcolm X "Dying was the easy part. For all intents and purposes, it was the same no matte r the clan, so much that it was almost universal to the krogan: if you're going into a fight you know you're going die in, fight for glory, fight for honor, and fight until either you die or all your enemies die. If the latter happens, then somehow, victory was attained from the jaws of defeat and that's what Grunt nee ded to make sure he got right." - Mass Effect 2 "The difference between how you look and how you see yourself is enough to kill most people. And maybe the reason vampires don't die is because they can never s ee themselves in photographs or mirrors." - Chuck Palahniuk "I don t know if this will help clarify, or muddy the waters further, but here goes: given the way Christianity defines God, science cannot disprove His existence. Cannot. Simply put, that s not what it s for. Science is, at its core, two things: 1. A means for testing ideas about the natural world. 2. The body of knowledge (incomplete, and subject to revision if needed, but reliable to the limits of our current understanding) gained by using that method. When you start talking about all-powerful beings who exist outside of space and time when you start talking about anything outside of space and time you ve moved beyond the scope of science. ... There are no tests that we, as human beings, can use to determine omniscience, or to measure something that s supposed to exist independent of space. The existence of God is not a testable hypothesis; therefore it is not a scientific question." - Fred Clark Playboy: If life is so purposeless, do you feel its worth living? Kubrick: Yes, for those who manage somehow to cope with our mortality. The very meaninglessness of life forces a man to create his own meaning. Children, of cou rse, begin life with an untarnished sense of wonder, a capacity to experience to tal joy at something as simple as the greenness of a leaf; but as they grow olde r, the awareness of death and decay begins to impinge on their consciousness and subtly erode their joie de vivre (a keen enjoyment of living), their idealism and their assumption of immortality. As a child matures, he sees death and pain everywhere about him, and begins to l ose faith in the ultimate goodness of man. But if he s reasonably strong - and luc ky - he can emerge from this twilight of the soul into a rebirth of life s lan (ent husiastic and assured vigour and liveliness). Both because of and in spite of his awareness of the meaninglessness of life, he can forge a fresh sense of purpose and affirmation. He may not recapture the sa me pure sense of wonder he was born with, but he can shape something far more en during and sustaining. The most terrifying fact about the universe is not that it is hostile but that i t is indifferent; but if we can come to terms with this indifference and accept the challenges of life within the boundaries of death - however mutable man may be able to make them - our existence as a species can have genuine meaning and f ulfilment. However vast the darkness, we must supply our own light. - Stanley Kubrick "Courage in a leader takes the form of going out again after a bad mission, a lo ss, a wound. Of making the mission work, even when you don t believe in it any mor e. Valor they take to be stepping out onto the landing zone first, cracking that hatch first, standing up first after the fight, but also moving out last, stayi ng till the troops have cleared an obstacle or danger area, waiting those extra few seconds to be sure every man s back. And in the end it may we call it a long stor y about a quick decision take the form of standing up to a guy with leaves or eagle s or stars one day, a guy in a suit one day when you re right and he s not. Disregard for self, for personal safety or ambition. The simple nerve to be first or last, whichever no one else wants to be." -SGM Farrell ' A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams." " One bomber, that's 10 men. We count are victories by the bombers we get to the ir targets, by the husbands we return to their wives, by the fathers we return t o their children." - Red Tails " One sure mark of a fool is to dismiss anything outside the realm of his experi ence." - Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim "You can't buy it back. You can't buy your privacy back. " Ooh, I want to be alo ne. FUCK YOU. We've been in your living room. We were at your birth. You filmed it for us and showed us THE PLACENTA, and now you want some privacy?' "Look at the Kardashians, they're worth millions. Millions! I don't think they w ere that badly off to begin with but now look at them. You see that and you thin k, "What, you mean all I have to do is behave like a FUCKING IDIOT on television and you'll pay me millions?" - Daniel Craig "Finally, I wish to speak directly to those who came to London today to take lif e. I know that you personally do not fear giving up your own life in order to ta ke others - that is why you are so dangerous. But I know you fear that you may f ail in your long-term objective to destroy our free society and I can show you w hy you will fail. In the days that follow, look at our airports, look at our sea ports and look at our railway stations and, even after your cowardly attack, yo u will see that people from the rest of Britain, people from around the world wi ll arrive in London to become Londoners and to fulfil their dreams and achieve t heir potential. They choose to come to London, as so many have come before becau se they come to be free, they come to live the life they choose, they come to be able to be themselves. They flee you because you tell them how they should live . They do not want that and nothing you do, however many of us you kill, will st op that flight to our city where freedom is strong and where people can live in harmony with one another. Whatever you do, however many you kill, you will fail. " - Ken Livingston on July 7th London Bombings Capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off a hors e.." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse.." To the members of the military that haven't experienced a college education: For your information, the entire process of the idea of finals, e.g studying for finals, taking the finals, and waiting for results, is actually pretty damn str essfull, so please stop patronizing everyone else. Last I checked we signed up t o be able to protect those who had no wish to experience what we go through, not trumpet our sacrifice to them. - Me "It has been reported that Kim Kardashian exchanged most of her wedding presents for Rolex watches that she gave to her family. In Kim's defense, the Kardashian s will need the watches to figure out when their 15 minutes are up." - Conan O' Brien "It's not about proof, it's about faith. Faith is what gives life shape and mean ing, I mean if there aren't Yeti's and Leprechauns what's the point in getting u p in the morning?" - HIMYM " Memories of the best times in life are treasures later on in life." - Star Wars: The Old Republic By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Se cond, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitt erest. -Confucius "What nobler relationship than that of friend? What nobler compliment can man be stow than friendship? The bonds and ties of the life we know break easily, but t hrough eternity one bond remains - the bond of fellowship - the fellowship of at oms, of star dust in its endless flight, of suns and worlds, of gods and men. Th e clasped hands of comradeship unite in a bond eternal - the fellowship of spiri t." - Manly P Hall “Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won't adhere to any rules. The most any of u s can do is to sign on as its accomplice. Instead of vowing to honor and obey, m aybe we should swear to aid and abet. That would mean that security is out of th e question. The words "make" and "stay" become inappropriate. My love for you ha s no strings attached. I love you for free.” ― Tom Robbins, Still Life with Woodpecker “There are many things worth living for, a few things worth dying for, and nothing worth killing for.” ― Tom Robbins, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues “The word desire suggests that there is something we do not have. If we have every thing already, then there can be no desire, for there is nothing left to want. I think that what the Buddha may have been trying to tell us is that we have it a ll, each of us, all the time; therefore, desire is simply unnecessary.” ― Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume “In life you will eventually realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet . Some will test you, some will use you, and some will teach you. But most impor tantly, some will bring out the best in you. And this last group of people, alth ough hard to find, are always worth the wait.” *It’s the schemers that put you where you are. You were a schemer, you hadplans… and ah, look where that got you.*I just did what I do best. I took your little plan and I turned it on itself. Look what Idid to this city with a few drums of gas and a couple of bullets. Hmm? You knowwhat… you know what I noticed? Nobody panics when things go according to plan.Even if the plan is horrifying. If tomorrow I tell the press that like ah, gang bangerwill get shot or a truck load of soldier s will be blown up. Nobody panics. Because it’sall part of the plan. But when I sa y that one little old mayor will die. Well theneveryone loses their minds! Intro duce a little anarchy! Upset the established orderand everything becomes chaos. I’m an agent of chaos. Oh and you know the thingabout chaos? It’s there - The Dark Knight "If you can't accept that you don't exist after your death, how come you can acc ept that you never existed before your birth?" The problem, often not discovered until late in life, is that when you look for things like love, meaning, motivation, it implies they are sitting behind a tree or under a rock. The most successful people recognize, that in life they create their own love, they manufacture their own meaning, they generate their own mot ivation. For me, I am driven by two main philosophies, know more today about the world th an I knew yesterday. And along the way, lessen the suffering of others. You'd be surprised how far that gets you. - Neil deGrasse Tyson "Do something you can't, simply because you can." - Katawa Shoujo "I think if people see this footage, they'll say Oh, my God, that's horrible. An d then they'll go on eating their dinners." - from the film Hotel Rwanda "You might catch a minute of this on CNN-between sports and weather." - Blood Diamond It's hard fighting a war. It's hard enough knowing that no matter how hard you t ry, people still die. - Mass Effect 3 "No one ever fell in love without being a little bit brave." - Mass Effect 3 Comedy sometimes isn't about being nice. It's airing out the bad things people s ay? - Mass Effect 3 "For me, the most ironic token of that moment in history is the plaque signed by President Richard M. Nixon that Apollo 11 took to the Moon. It reads: ‘We came in peace for all mankind.’ As the United States was dropping 7.5 megatons of convent ional explosives on small nations in Southeast Asia, we congratulated ourselves on our humanity: We would harm no one on a lifeless rock." - Carl Sagan, Pale Blue Dot "We don't read novels to have an experience like life. Heck, we're living lives, complete with all the incompleteness. We turn to fiction to have an author assu re us that it means something.” -Orson Scott Card It really doesn't matter if people really want us in another war, and it matters very little where we are going to find it. The United States is a warrior nation. I do not mean to say that we have the mos t warriors, or even that that claim necessitates that we have the best warriors. I purport that the nation itself is a warrior--that is her purpose. She was born in war, and she marks her short, bloody history by the conflicts sh e has waged. I fear that there is little to nothing that can stop this short of the end of her, and we no longer live in a world that is terribly keen on ending nations. We may be able to stay out of a fight over Uganda, or Iran, or any other cause, but eventually someone will come up with a good excuse to fight--they'll find on e or make one. I do not love war, nor do I often endorse it. I know all too well the sorrow it brings to all concerned when she deigns to pour out the blood of her native sons upon some foreign shore. One thing I have learned from history, however, is tha t even when the youth of a generation take to the streets to cry out for peace, she will march onward with furious thunder. And as the years go by, even that ge neration which demanded peace will sacrifice their children for blood. - Reddit "I’ve found out why people laugh. They laugh because it hurts so much… because it’s th e only thing that’ll make it stop hurting. I had thought — I had been told — that a ‘fun ny’ thing is a thing of a goodness. It isn’t. Not ever is it funny to the person it happens to. Like that sheriff without his pants. The goodness is in the laughing itself. I grok it is a bravery...and a sharing… against pain and sorrow and defea t." - Robert A. Heinlein - Stranger in a Strange Land